Wife is out of town for 10 days...

Haven't vacuumed.

Haven't cleaned the table.

Haven't taken out the trash (although I will after this post. Gross.)

Haven't done the dishes.

Haven't worn pants. (Except to store and picking kids up from school)

Slept like a fucking boss

Haven't picked up my laundry.

Haven't picked up oldest sons underwear. (He will be picking this up when he gets home from school)

Was supposed to get healthy stuff for kids. Got donuts.

And ice cream.

Houdini cat tax.

I took Parker down after some consideration and a warning from a commentor.

For those of you who are telling me to clean the house or calling me a slob, I'll reiterate again:

I work full time, about 46 hours a week, to support my family and raise my children the right way. I teach them daily about life and responsibility. My oldest are both in advanced classes in 1st Grade (math for my son, english for my daughter). Both of them are better behaved and more advanced than their peers. They clean their rooms regularly, and have to earn the things they get through hard work. My oldest son is very into Creativerse and Stardew Valley and my daughter loves to read books way beyond her age range. My youngest is well beyond where he should be on the developmental chart. I spend hours with them each week teaching them math and reading and etc.

I'd like to request everyone viewing this to take a moment and reflect on what you want to post. I posted this for entertainment, in the hopes of connecting with other fathers who understand the struggle to raise a family in America today.

Remember that you don't know me, or how I raise my children. You don't know the people commenting here. Know that your comment is a reflection of yourself, and that any decent person viewing this who has children knows how hard that life is. Don't immediately judge me for taking 10 days off each year, because you don't know how hard I work to earn these 10 days.

The way the world is today... it's hard for people to connect with each other. It's even harder when we all have access to the internet to expose to others our hidden inner selves. Take the post for what it is; a hard-working man who supports his family regularly taking a few days off in the absence of his wife. Enjoy the post. And try your best not to let the pain or the judgement inside you spill out onto others.

FP Edit:

We have been foiled, I'm afraid. My wife saw the post and isn't as upset as you all would hope she would be. I'll keep my promise and not clean and upload her reaction, but I fear it won't be nearly as you'd all imagined.

As opposed to requesting boobs, I'd like to request that everyone reading this take a few moments to consider all the decent fathers in the world. It's not an easy job.

I'd also like to shamelessly plug my wife's business:

http://eeksattic.com/

It made this post possible.

And finally, I'd like to encourage you all to LEARN MORE ABOUT SCIENCE. Jesus, it's 2016 people.