AnxiousPizza
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MRW there are new discoveries recently in a game from about 15 years ago
She’s in third grade and luckily her brother who is in middle school replied “because they’re spirits” and saved my ass. Not good with lying to kids yet lol
Edit: holy shit first time on front page was not expecting to wake up to this! Happy holidays :)
espressoandpostrock
Just lie about everything, esp obvious ridiculous shit. I was visiting from HI and I convinced my niece we pay with pineapples. It's fun.
carrstone01
By not correcting the brothers comment you’re lying by omission
WhompingWillough
Eeesh. I never told my kids those lies. Made things much easier.
cleverbeans
Turn the tables and deflect using the standard "Good question, what do you think?" line. Put them on the spot instead. Little shits.
marquettegoldeneagles
Too funny! My nephew is 3rd and I am not looking forward to these questions. (His mom passed.)
NotSureWhatUsernameToUse
I have a real problem lying to kids about this shit
ProxyPlayerHD
"because neither of them exist" easy solution.
davebeastly
lordbucket
Or you could try, NOT lying to them. My parents didn't. I wasn't traumatized by it. Not your kid? No problem. Don't answer. No need to lie.
mofreckle
Smart kid putting them both in the same category, takes most people years to figure that one out
stronomer
Because they're not real but are inventions to keep grown-ups and kids in their place, so your reasoning is perfecty valid, you smart girl!
ItsJustACoincidence
Well if you think of reality like the Matrix... they’re programs.
ThermoNuke
We still do elf on the shelf and Santa. The two oldest kids know Santa isn’t real. Their reality didn’t shatter and they don’t hate us.
ThermoNuke
Matter of fact, the two oldest help keep the tradition alive for the little ones because they remember how fun it was to believe.
ThermoNuke
You people have some real serious issues at home if you think Santa is going to break your child’s psyche.
Twiggeh
"I dont know, ask them when you see them next time". Also dont be santa that year.
warrior4k2
AtheistNotAntiTheist
because make believe entities are immortal, my dear.
Kyshho
People with important things to do need to live, and so the powers that be, let them.
Cayowin
Worst is when you have to sort out some other parents bullshit, "When the stork is carrying the baby how does it fly from the north pole?"
JamieSmyth
My parents never bothered with that nonsense. They explained that the baby grows inside mummy's tummy and left out the sex part
somenerandom
I don't know, ask your parents
IllusivePanda
Because he sits atop the golden throne, our ever vigelint guardian of humanity. Praise the Emperor!
arrbos
I'd do my best to draw equivalency between Santa and God. Might help them keep the comparison in mind later.
TheCrazySucculentLady
I did tell a kid once that is not a who but a what. And he said "oh, like the spirit of christmas?"
LMTMFA
"I don't know."
SexualSandwich
I just told my 9 year old the truth about Santa. I also added there is no Easter bunny or tooth fairy either. He looks up at me and says
SexualSandwich
Then who takes the teeth. I said me and your mother. He said WHY and WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM... haha priceless moment
plainoldfool
"Santa isn't real, but Satan is. We need those teeth for .... rituals. Good night, Buddy."
SexualSandwich
Zigor22
Cuz God isn't a person, duh.
just4thelolz
They are powered by belief. Read Hogfather or Small Gods to her. They're educational in a sense.
cleverbeans
Yeah but then you could turn her her into a fedora wearing neckbeard like Terry Pratchett. It's not worth the risk.
just4thelolz
I had no idea that there were people who thought like that about Terry Pratchett. I always had the impression that he was a beloved author.
cleverbeans
He's popular in certain circles, like Danielle Steel, but I don't find his work to have any literary merits.
just4thelolz
Interesting. Well, I enjoy his books very much but to each their own.
raidleadergutts
Don't bother, their use of "fedora wearing neckbeard" to describe anyone who doesn't believe in god means theyre a butthurt religious zealot
just4thelolz
I'm genuinely curious how this was met with as much disapproval as it did.
Dyslexicbirch
I knew at 6 that Santa and god where made up
carrstone01
I think most of us know that at sometime or other. Some just like the feeling of being delusional.
FreakyKeiKei
Well "people" does not designate human. Santa has been called a jolly old elf, and God is well... a god.
cleverbeans
The mainstream Christian God is considered a person because of the Trinity Doctrine. Jehovah's Witnesses are the only Christians that don't.
vorodar
Why an elf? He is most definitely both human and dead. Yet saints are known to still exist and do stuff. Do people not know saint Nicholas?
jnoahj
I'm a big fan of just teaching kids the story of St. Nikolaus of Myra and telling them that he inspired the gift tradition, but is now dead.
Aoqing
I like to tell the exact same story ! Except I just say that Santa Claus is a Turkish dude. Misleading I know, but I like my kebab for xmas
Tlaxxil
Fellow Arian slapper represent
applemagpie
St Nicolaas is NOT dead. He comes to the Netherlands every year, spry as ever
justvenomcake
With his dark skinned friends to beat u the naughty children of the world.
applemagpie
Well, he has caught up enough with the times that corporal punishment is out
bondagewithjesus
Including the story where he allegedly bit off a mans nose
perceptualmotion
i really dont get this whole continuous fairy-tailing, and then we turn around and say they cant think critically.
OrThatsWhatTheySayAnyway
I agree. Personally think the fairy-tailing is actually more for the parents/adults than the kids. Who doesn't love a good story.
WarlockWithNoPatron
One school of thought is that when children learn to be more critical in their thinking when they realize that not everything they are...
WarlockWithNoPatron
...told is true. The idea is that children are told to have faith in Santa, to ignore logic, only to realize their belief was wrong.
IHaveASiriusCyberneticsCorporationGenuinePeoplePersonality
If you ever decide to spawn your own, you better get good. Especially when they they ask the hard questions, like why do hotdogs come in 10
Taur622
while Chad comes in her mouth so much. Then you get to have a sex-talk with her and Chad about safety and boundaries.
illegalacorn
All the hotdogs I buy come in 8
CreepyPhlox
Same! Where did the idea they come in 10 come from?!
illegalacorn
ye olden dayes
EleMenTal304
I already dread the question "which part of the chicken is the nugget?"
MrBilly69
"All of it"
Hutchy01
But condoms in strips of 6?
DeeDoubleYu
Just go Carl Sagan an be like, I don't know, isn't it amazing there are some things still a mystery, maybe we can discover together.
UnluckyLunkhead
Why do oil cans go rusty?
reverendleonard
If. If is good.
CreepyPhlox
I’ve never seen a pack of 10 hotdogs, only packs of 8...
Aegyaegy
I never questioned why my Weiner flopped out a little.
boomcatmeow
Always reminds me of the meltdown in father of the bride
danidactyle
Why do we see color?
Ootandabootehh
Hmmm.. My best guess would be so our primitive ancestors could differentiate between plants, berries etc. more accurately?
TheVikingKing
See under water better actually
Ootandabootehh
Really? Cool! I'd love to know more if you have a sauce.
ThisNameIsMaybeTaken
Because our eyes are sensitive to particular wavelengths of light. Answer without answering.
BronzeLeaguePro
Because 8 is a very efficient package shape for buns, and 10 is a very efficient package count for sausages.
BronzeLeaguePro
then again, Wieners tend to come in various amounts of sizes because they're linked. The sheepgut doesn't straighten out that well.
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Because they're spirits.
bitemark
It's okay to say "I don't know." In this case I'd probably say "I never thought of that, what do you think?"
cantthinkofaclevernameatm
This formula saved me on lot of those questions, including the Santa one.
bitemark
Kids will always come up with an answer that satisfies them better than anything I could think of.
Zorroinabox
I say this to my 6yo all the time, he asked his dad "why doesn't mommy know anything?"
bitemark
mrbellek
My kid asked where all the water in the sea came from at age 3.
ThatShiftyMonkey
The faucet.
diabLoDesignz
Someone left the faucet on after he washed his hands! Thats why we tell you to shut it off. Dont flood our city please. Thanks. Now go play.
PockyBonneville
Antartica duhh
MontagMorgen
Too soon... Or soon.
420ganjavolcano
hotdogs and buns both come in 6 or 12 here.
reala27
For one, don't spawn your own it's immoral, but if you fuck up and do it anyway don't lie to them. No santa, no god.
CrossEyedVoyager
10/10 delivery. I'm almost proud.
IHaveASiriusCyberneticsCorporationGenuinePeoplePersonality
But buns in 8?
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Customer guys hotdogs, but needs more buns. Has too many buns, buys more hotdogs. Too many hotdogs, buys more buns. A vicious cycle.
animjason
The answer is in the movie Bulletproof Monk
codylishush
bruh
ASimpleCommentFarmer
Basically two separate industries who created two different and unrelated metrics and it is not cost effective to switch for either party
mulligylan
Its so you member to buy mac and cheese for the other 2
leontheprofessional
I’m just a filthy animal who eats the last two without on a bun on a plate with ketchup squirted on top.
DoctorWhoDoctorFancy
Or they want you to buy 4x hotdogs and 5x buns, so it fits.
researchonyourown
I always thought it was so you would always have extra hotdogs so you would need to buy buns But than you have extra buns so you buy hotdogs
HandsomeJackWilshere
Almost certain it's this, have thought it for forever
IAmAHollow
Isn't it fascinating how good the brain is at finding patterns in random noise?
fuselfluppe
and thats how they lurk money out of your pockets ;)
boywiththehappypenis
You're a thinker, mate! Chasing the dragon sitch..
DarkUranium
They should've used coprime numbers, then!
boywiththehappypenis
I can see why you've reached 'glorious' status - you're good, very good!
IHaveASiriusCyberneticsCorporationGenuinePeoplePersonality
Honestly, I just reply drunkenly to a shitte tonne of comments in usersub.
iKnowMostlyRandomFacts
Because having two different amounts makes you want to buy more of the other.
SomeRandomNobhead
Asking the motherfucking real questions, you raised a smart kiddo haha
Devasor
Buy enough for 80 hotdogs. Problem solved
bthighlander
4th grade math FTW!!
Knilore
40 works as well. Least common denominator.
Devasor
I went the simple way with 8*10, but 40 works too :P
tacodefender
Least common multiple, denominator are the bottom part of the fraction
Knilore
Which you use to divide the different packs by, hence denominator....
darkegraedon
You could get there with 40 ;)
Devasor
I've been outmathed! ._.
Optimixto
Because hotdogs hunt in packs of 10, so it's easy to find 10 to pack together. Meanwhile, bun bushes only produce 8 buns per harvest.
hollmonster13
So you can share with the dog.
MegatronSays
i always thought it was so you could use the ends of the bread that no one likes for anything else.
iamawaffleiron
Packaging size. 8 Burger buns and 8 dog buns fit in the same size package.
OmenRider
"Because you sin." - Christianity
HoeSay
Oh shit I remember this from the movie Bulletproof Monk
TristanBomb
I know this has become a meme, but hot dogs actually do come in packs of 8.
NeededNameForApp
Fancy hot dogs come in seven now.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Often I see the 'standard' size dogs in packs of 10, but the 'bun length' in packs of 8. Why would you buy dogs too short for a bun?
curlyfry11
Chop up the two extras to make them bun length? Maybe some people just enjoy making their lives difficult.
DiastaticPower
If they're my kids, I don't lie to them. Fortunately, nobody else's kids have asked me shit like that.
Hlormar
Same. Other kids have asked me and I've told them I don't believe they exist, but they can if they want to.
truthsmiles
Same. The 'innocent' lies my own parents told me did lasting damage. I want my son to trust me for life.
PaperCl1p
Are we just ignoring the neckbeard atheism in this post?
raidleadergutts
Found the butthurt religious zealot!
ThermoNuke
I guess so.
ZondaZ420
ikr r/ATHEISM GRRRR
Zrkled
Are you implying believing in Santa is a religious obligation?
PaperCl1p
You're not?!
Zrkled
No, so tell me me, which religion does Santa and his sleigh belong to?
PaperCl1p
Haha i thought you were making a joke, OP included that God isn't real in the title.