theswagondragon
176399
6064
499
Small Holes
Feb 13, 2014 6:46 AM
theswagondragon
176399
6064
499
TrippingPocahontas
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.
MutantTurd
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.
ILikePicturesCauseFunny
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang Rape
ShermanBarnesIII
that's a good one, never heard it before +1
munch606
What is long and hard on a black guy? Fourth Grade
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering an iron
thisusernameisrelevanttomyinterests
Only one I laughed at so far. Because blind jokes are funny when you can see them.
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's Black
AgnMish480
Okay, well now you're just trying too hard.
SlightlyNormal
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race.
CardboardUrinal
1 way ticket to hell! All aboard! CHOO CHOOOO
magnacookies
http://imgur.com/Ralh6gZ
Rdevilli
In canada it's terry fox and the punchline is neither one can finish a race.
fezzesRcool
Literally said, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" out loud. Hilarious.
hittinhedges
See, that's good. I like this one. It's like ooooohhhhaaaaaaahhhaaaa yeah!! Resilient jewish people. Fantastic!!
Helorix
This is beautiful
abnormallynormal
your username
SlightlyNormal
You ripped it off, yes.
abnormallynormal
Its rad! haha normal 4 lyfe
EarthmanDan
How do you get 100 Jews in a car? Throw a quarter in. How do you get them out? Tell them Hitler is driving.
BaconMakesMeMoist
Aisan
spacecowboyein
i'm aisan and about to go cook up some bacon and eggs. i don't know if that's doing it for you
teaandbutterbeer
i'm also aisan and would like you to teach me your ways
Coonninja
Might as well have been in a HUGE red font.
ghsdkgb
Don't you mean, yellow font?
darklydreamingpanda
Maybe they were referring to the evil Shinigami from Bleach.... likely they were not.
BaconMakesMeMoist
dat username
laserkatt
What's the hardest part about watching a five year old girl get hit by a bus? My dick.
painfist
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Tape a piece of toast to the ceiling.
FisterMantastic
ON THE CEILING OF ETHIOPIA. Proposturous.
Farfignewton
Whats the difference between and Apple and a Dead Baby? You don't cum in an apple before you eat it.
theboosan
That's so uncomfortable... on so many levels... I don't even
Proudfoots
Ummmm, speak for yourself, my good sir!
SolarPowerMonkey
This one made me cringe and gag a little, well done sir +1
Ahnengeist
Nice.
arentyouagoober
What do my pregnant girlfriend and my locked car have in common? Both problems can be solved with a coat hanger.
CarlosPerfectHair
So that's where the line is..,
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
Wow never heard that one and I cringed a lil. Nice job! +1 http://imgur.com/QKgbnrN
grimol
Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
Solkanarmy
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
Imgonnatipyouwell
Only one I haven't heard before. +1
amadeo38
"Contrary to folklore, leprosy does not cause body parts to fall off" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leprosy
katiokins
Barf.
MajorMustard
That took me a second, Damn son +1
troyandabedinthecommentsnights
what do you call a black man standing in a field? antique farm equipment
Capeguy
What do you call 10 dead black people hanging in a barn? Used farm equipment.
giffer44
That's obviously stopped working...
TheOtherLebowski
Nice.
SamuelJacksonsCigarette
How do you fit 100 jews in a car? The ash tray.
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[deleted]
MagilaGorilla
No grasshopper the joke goes as follows. How do you fit 100 people in a volkswagen? 2 Nazis in the front seat and 98 jews in the ashtray.
lightalife
How do you pick up a Jewish girl in Germany? with a dustpan and broom.
beansandcornbreadandgreens
how do you get a jewish girl's number? look at her arm.
myusernamerevealsallthereistoknowaboutme
I think the joke goes like; How do you fit 100 jews in a VW beetle? 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 96 in the ashtray.
IHateThinkingUsernames
i heard this version too.
Solkanarmy
yeah, I heard that version... it was 10,000 for the one I heard tho
thepunniestofthemall
no it's "how many jews can fit in a VW? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray"
LaggyController
sho... bodies fired!
RottenState
The diference between jews and boyscots? Boyscouts come home from their camps.
LonLonRanchDressing
For some reason these jokes offend me the most. I'm not even Jewish but goddamnit they're awful.
ISarabi
Random +1 for your great name.
c0nman
i can usually tell if i'm going to have sex with a woman by the type of shoes she wears. if it's sneakers, she'll probably outrun me
TrippingPocahontas
How are McDonalds and Michael Jackson alike? They both stick semi-white meat in between two 6-yearold buns
jroux16
Why do black people smell? So that blind people can hate them too.
RebelSmurf
This was the first one that caused my head to tilt back and make a "sssssss" sound. Bravo
TurdsOfWisdom
Hahahaha
Lolken
I spit on my desk when I read this.
TheOtherLebowski
I laughed the hardest at yours. To the top!
JenkemLazerSkeet
lol
firewalker91
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them
rngldr404
Omg I once told this joke to my grade 10 English teacher not knowing she was pregnant
slothseizure
Damn it you beat me to it. Here's a +1 for good taste in dead baby jokes.
TattoosAreNeat
My brother told me that when I was 7 months pregnant and my mom slapped him so hard he had a handprint for a week. Hehehehe
Pure100PercentUnadulteratedSarcasm
How many babies does it take to tile my kitchen floor? Depends on how thin I slice them.
haIreallysigneduphere
OMG I miss the dead baby jokes.
WellFuckMyOzone
What's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?Can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork
chuckwheat
Why do you unload a truck full of dead babies with a pitch fork? To make sure they are dead.
CogAger
How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.
squip
Why is this one deeply nested!!!? Hilarious!
CogAger
Should I repost it in the original comments?
Underd0g
Whats Black, Hairy, has 8 legs and scares women? Gang Rape.
ThisIsEmilyPingingBackAndFlyingLikeACheeseSandwichTiedToABrick
What has fourteen legs and screams like fuck? Also gang rape.
ThisIsEmilyPingingBackAndFlyingLikeACheeseSandwichTiedToABrick
What has fourteen legs and screams like fuck? Also gang rape.
OddleNoodle
If a black man, Mexican, and a Jew are in a car together. Whose driving?
ebeat1
Why does Mexico suck in the olympics ? All the good runners, jumpers and swimmers are already in the US.
dave1222
A cop
teninchhero
What do you call a black person with a PHD? A doctor you asshole
thisusernameisrelevanttomyinterests
HIS NAME.
quello
Thanks, that's a nice contrast and I needed it.
CanadianCobraChicken
How do you fit 10 babies in a jar? A blender. How do you get them out again? Nacho chips
engijack
Oh, wow. This was probably my favourite one.
CanadianCobraChicken
I'll see you on the train to hell my friend
a55mu11e7
tell me your secrets...i literally said the same joke 4 hours before you and got downvoted lol
CanadianCobraChicken
Boobs. I have boobs.
a55mu11e7
OldSwedishGrandma
My favourite, but be warned, it's tasteless...
GhostlyRomaines
I like you :)
OldSwedishGrandma
*smooch* Right back at you luv. ;)
TheGillMachine
Why did Princess Diana cross the street? She wasnt wearing a seatbelt.
OldSwedishGrandma
LOL
LonLonRanchDressing
shit, this one's way worse
onetruecod
Did you skip the rest of the replies? That's pretty tame, considering.
OldSwedishGrandma
No, I read them. But Princess Di was a real living person and that makes it more tasteless to me than any random rascist or pedo joke. :)
onetruecod
Stop making sensible, reasoned responses to my silly replies. :P If we're going to be that way, though, I guess I look at the ones (1/2)
onetruecod
about genocide and such and find more to be put off by. One's an insensitive joke about a tragic accident, the other's a joke (2/3 I lied)
onetruecod
about millions of people dying. YMMV, obviously. Cool talk. :P (3/3)
DutchKiwi
Whats harder than nailing two babies to one tree? my cock while I'm doing it..
JoinTheLiving
Jesus titty fucking Christ!
angawawa19671
Oh my god, that is maybe the worst thing I have read on here. Well, maybe not.
Myyr
Aah, this is a new one!
WilloftheWay
Must reply for posterity. Will be using this one later.
ASuperCallousedFragileMysticHexedbyHalitosis
I'm so happy this is your top comment.
meatyerawfulgee
I like this. I don't know what that says about me, but I won't deny it.
FlatPlutoSociety
What do you get when you stab a baby with a screwdriver? An erection.
PinkDalek
http://imgur.com/VSfxrV3
SouperScott
You win, there's not even a competition after that comment.
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[deleted]
weirdlywilli
Shots fired !!
cmfrtblynumb28
How do they separate men from boys in San Francisco? With a crowbar.
DocMantisToboggan
TheBitSlinger
I should not have laughed at that. Should noooottttt....
OtterRidiculousness
You cheeky bastard. I lol'd even though I KNEW I SHOULDN'T.
chewbakken
I don't get it, someone care to explain? Is there more to it than "using a crowbar to break up man-boy sex"?
MagilaGorilla
How was copper wire invented? Two Jews were fighting over a penny.
MagilaGorilla
How do they settle disputes in San Francisco? They step outside and exchange blows.
GreatLakesEnergy
What do you do you you drop a quarter in San Francisco? Kick it all the way to Oakland.
57x28mm
How do we get around such steep hills in San Francisco? With a car. Because I live here. We drive cars. Up and down hills.
BecomeAnAstronaut
What in your... your er... like... GAY car? Your car, that's gay?
coollayo
http://www.mybs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/SKdYsIM.gif
57x28mm
Surprisingly, I've only met six people who were flamboyantly gay. Otherwise, everybody just minds their own damn business like they should.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Twenty3Skidoo
That there are a lot of gay people in San Francisco? You've never heard that?
TheGayPenguin
The gay = pedophile association is unfortunate and makes me a little uncomfortable, but I guess this *is* offensive jokes time.
Twenty3Skidoo
Oh. Duh. For some reason, I didn't see "male child" when I read "boy". =?
AcclaimNation
The joke implied pedophilia. Man on boy. Yeah, it's gay, but hardly that's hardly the shocking part.
AcclaimNation
I was just asking if pedophilia was an SF stereotype... what the hell?
cmfrtblynumb28
http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2010/012/3/c/It__s_Buzz_Killington_by_FortFighter.png
Dave830108
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
helpimstuckinamobileloophelpimstuckinamobileloophelpimstuckina
alternate ending, I don't ride a Ferrari all day
MSTVD
ooooh kill em
LaBotte
My favorite
ellert
Whats the other differencen between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babyer? I don't masturbate on my Farrari.
SrenSteen
Or "A baby Ferrari doesn't fall to pieces at 200 kilometers an hour"
ThadiousJayble
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other is just a watermelon.
SuburbanRobotsThatMonitorReality
What's the difference between unloading a truckload of babies and a truckload of golf balls?You can't unload the golf balls with a pitchfork
JustSomeGuyFromTheInternet
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes!
xSolidSnake
ugh
IcedLance
Took me a while to understand. Wow.
BlGWlG
*sobbing slow clap*
Rdevilli
Doctor exclaims why is your 10YO sexually active!?! He responds "I wouldn't call it active she just kinda lays there and cries."
poopontheboop
oh dear god
Rdevilli
Man walks into the doctors office saying he needs birth control for his 10 YO
YUTHINKYOUREFUNNY
I like this little wordplay.. +1 for you good sir!
Mybuttstinksgood
I see what you did there!
QueenNala
DOUBLE TAKE
AntsyInTheirPantsy
Oh this is good.
forsakenlegiondude
Yep, totally.
Geogon
MystGhost
awww i got it and i thought... don't laugh... DON'T FUCKING LAUGH... i laughed... upvote for you sir
InAPedoVanDownByTheRiver
Hmm..
ShimmyShimmyYahShimmyYamShimmyYay
That's not very nice. Pedophiles have a really hard time fitting in.
Leavan
Yes, you.
IHaveThePerfectPuzzleForYou
Undoubtedly, you.
MadeinEU
What do you call a black woman who has had 9 abortions? A Crime fighter
Capeguy
How long does it take a black woman to shit? 9 months.
MrPredator
Heard it
HowDoIInternet
Oh my god that's awful. Saving for later.
sandband
http://imgur.com/Fq4s5vU
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
When a black woman has an abortion she receives a check from Crime Stoppers and Welfare thanking her
magnacookies
http://imgur.com/iCctieN
spacecowboyein
i think this was the first one to actually offend me. +1
daffy7825
Really? *None* of the other shit? :P
spacecowboyein
dead babies don't really do it for me, unlike the rest of these perverts