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Jan 29, 2014 11:53 PM
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soze
cougarlife.com was not what I expected.
ChicagoBadger
I wish a cougar would break into my house. Wait, no, not that kind.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
I wish for that kind. I'd pet him and hug him and squeeze him and call him George!
duckie523
From ThatsWhatSheepSaid on Reddit: "I'd puma pants if that happened to me."
carter1296
hey look, MITTENS!
wittykitty14
Treebearded
so a deer walks into a bar. scrambles, more. a deer scrambles into a bar. the bartender says, "hey, how much are deer nuts?" the deer
MadamImAdam
Quick! Give it some white zinfandel and play Bon Jovi
CharlesFuckingBronson
That's funny, my ladyfriend prefers Ani DeFranco...
ImgurIHardlyKnewHer
AM I THE ONLY PERSON ON IMGUR WHO LIVES IN A REGULAR ASS PLACE WITH NO CRAZY ASS SHIT?!
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
regular is boring. normal is an illusion.
markskar
We have bears. Lots of other stuff too (bull moose, cougars, etc) but we have motherfucking bears.
def3ctive
Yes.
emmyizme
What is this place you call 'Regular'?
tooomanysteves
As an Aussie, yes. Yes you are.
apegoneape
He heard the can opener.
RogueRiverWarrior
Good one!
vamenn
Why isn't this the top comment? I will do my part to right this terrible wrong.
mimikikididifefezaza
How did they resolve this situation? Was a laser pointer involved? Was there catnip?
superskin
Omg this is so awesome all we get in england is like confused pigeons flailing about the place
RogueRiverWarrior
Mountain lion killed a deer in my kid's play yard & I live 5 miles from 150K population town in Oregon.
RogueRiverWarrior
Mountain lions are serious predators. When I am in the woods, I ALWAYS keep my eyes open and I am always armed.
PteraRooster
He needs to learn to live with the fear
LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I hope his Crystal Gayle shirt is okay.
PteraRooster
<3
OrganicBacon
Just have him de-clawed and you've got yourself a kickass house cat!
LoveSays
And de-teethed?
OrganicBacon
It's too cute when kittehs nibble on your fingers!
LoveSays
I was thinking, and the force of their jaw might be just a bit painful, too...
SaintJimmy1
Or you know, when he jumps off any higher area in your house and sinks his teeth into your spine before you notice.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
Please do an image search for "declawing". It's basically surgical mutilation and it can go awfully wrong.
vanst
I wish I could give people like you more than one upvote. <3
OrganicBacon
I have a feeling that you are never the life of any party. I also enjoy kicking cats on weekends... :I
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
I knew it was a joke (since you don't have a cougar); but I wasn't sure of how much you knew about declawing.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
My imaginary points! Nuuuu :≈(
CaptainCrizzles
Steve French!! He's just a big stoned horny kitty with the munchies
GatesOfMordor
He's just looking for the weed-fajitas
IneedtochangemyusernameandIguessthiswillhavetodo
follow-up OP? was it tranq-ed and taken care of? how did your massive balls not get in the way when you crept close for these pictures?
baconsmellsreallygood
Prob fed it a roofie filled steak. But not with cinnamon, cougars hate cinnamon
VincentAlucard01
I live in Chile & this was all over the news: The Zoo guys came & shot tranquilizers, currently is on the Zoo being taken care of (1/2)
VincentAlucard01
Police suspect that it may escaped from a house having the cougar as a pet, which is of course illegal.
unapologetic05
Poor guy. So happy he wasn't shot. Thx for that.
ourmrswashburne
I was going to say, this is not normal wild cat behavior. Either he has rabies, or he's lost his fear of humans some other way.
DanniDearest
That third pic though...how can you be mad at a face like that?
thecraftinista
I had the same thought :)
KidneyBeene
pretty damn easy when you think of how much you have to repair because of that damn cat.
yourpeach
cats = assholes. huge cats = huge assholes.
Bagginssss
I'm sure he was scared shitless
ninmonkey
Fat cats are too lazy to be an ass.
neatomagneto
Oh, if that were true my 25lb baby would be such an angel, but he so isn't.
Starfield
you = my peach
smelborpforpresident
HOLY FUCK
LisaMegatron
Steve French?
PrettyCoolToo
HOW DOES THAT EVEN---WHAT.
WhatUpMyNinjas
This comment encompasses everything ever.
smelborpforpresident
thank you for deeming it worthy :3
twicemonkey
And God said "yeah, you can plow her" and hence, the holy fuck was given
dremels
my reaction
lindsehvictoria
Bad kitty.
FindingBeautyInNegativeSpaces
I hope he doesn't have any pets..
Adeloastro
I have 3 cats and 2 dogs. Imagining a cougar breaking into my house made me angry and want to own a gun.
tangybreath
Well, he has at least one now...
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
didnt*
FindingBeautyInNegativeSpaces
Dang it. :c I thought what I said was right.. I'm sorry you had to correct me.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
was more of a joke than a correction actually, what you said is still right.
inanimate
SINGLE COUGARS IN YOUR AREA
PetMeLikeOneOfYourFrenchCats
Is it... Is it dead?
dracomalfoytheamazingbouncingferret
It goddamn better not be.
lostissues
I was wondering the same thing, but it looks like it may have been tranquilized (dart in hind leg in pic 4 maybe?)...
lostissues
and last pic may be inside an animal control cage/pen? just speculation.
Rookieragequit
He look seriously high in that last one, like "Duuuude.. That was awesome!"
Nastradies
Just like a cat - destroying the blinds.
diefotze
haha zane, i saw this comment earlier and lols ensued, didn't know it was you!
FallenJester
My first reaction too
LisaMegatron
...Steve French?
enjeruluca
That wasn't the cougar I was expecting.
downvotes4cats
Misleading headline
FaxCelestis
Yeah, I was kind of hoping for drunken Courtney Cox.
darklydreamingpanda
I would rather it be sober Courtney Cox. Since she left David for his alcoholism her drunk would probably involve sobbing.
felofilipino
does your insurance cover cougars
AgDrumma07
Umm yeah...hi Allstate...you're never going to believe this...
IVlad
umm did I say cougar? nope it was just a homeless person.
BeingSocialized
Call a state farm agent right away :)
peachypunch
I'm a cougar. And if you don't have Allstate, you could end up paying for my new litterbox.
myfieldoffucksisbarren
Seriously though. Would something like that be covered?
Nondino
Depends on your plan. Reminder to check up on your own that's for sure.
1999eclipse
seems like it would fall under the same coverage that covers trees falling?
crabcore
Sometimes items like this can be excluded from policies depending on the animal. Rodents are typical excluded from coverage. 1/2
crabcore
Something like this in most homeowner's policies would be covered as no-fault under the homeowner unless they lured the animal there.
Alg3188
I would imagine as long as you have "act of god" coverage
Berrypickerasfuck
What if I'm an atheist?
Alg3188
so am I. but theres still an act of god clause
Alg3188
so am I. but theres still an act of god clause in most insurance
IKnowTheGuacIsExtra
Can you imagine making that phone call? "Hello officer? Yeah there's a cougar...um, in my...kitchen...help."
HandPiano
"Man up and stop crying. Now go be a big boy and fuck that cougar right in the pussy."
jcjavo
"well son, if you have a hot older lady why are you calling me for!"
IKnowTheGuacIsExtra
"SHE HAS 4 LEGS AND I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WANTS TO EAT ME!"
killer10347
No son, that's not how it works. The man's supposed to eat the pussy, not the other way around.
TheMathis
Depends on the state. Most states say that rodents and insects aren't covered. Since this is neither it should b covered. State Farm agt
CiriusTrio
like a good neighbor...statefarm is there...WITH A GOD DAMN ROCKET LAUNCHER
IGetMyAdviseFromAGuyNamedJustFart
this is my favorite
Iminlovewithagirl
Is that you Mr. Torgue?
FurryFeetys
It covers mayhem.
afetai1011
I would love to see the mayhem guy act this claim out. "I'm cougar and I want to play"
sarahlovescats
like me
MondayMorning
Mabuhay!
Andthatswhenisaidthatsnotahorsethatsmywife
Im dating a slightly older girl, i should look into this...
MiltankSausageNipple
3 1 Hot sINGLE COUGARS in ur AREA
Heatsir
Someone call Flo!
TheWhisperingEye
No but thank God it covers mayhem
bluemonzter
Of course it does they live in Australia didn't you see the last pic?... upside down duh.
bombadil92
My thoughts exactly. If they wouldn't pay for water damages (steam got everywhere) in my house because steam isn't in liquid form then I 1/2
bombadil92
doubt they'll pay for this. 2/2
capt4inslow
Cougar'a all "Like a good neighb..." Lol no I'm just here to fuck shit up
ahorin
This could be taken as the wild animal cougar or the Courtney Cox cougar
SuperBaoser
This is why we can't have nice things.
Anlurai
Damn, I was just going to post that.
juicyJ7
i thought that and saw this lol +1 for you
SDgoldilocks
mahem
vliang
first thing my bf asked me after i showed this post to him lol
ChakkaMofo
I think you just need a prenup for that.
TheGoldenRatio
HEYO!
ninmonkey
Only if declawed.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
swedishsquish
He shouldn't accuse someone of lying without even having facts to base the accusation on.
Nondino
There are cougars in where I live in the states.
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
SomeoneAnonymous
Allstate: Cougar Insurance
[deleted]
[deleted]
babababirdbirdbird
"act of god"?
felofilipino
sweet! thanks for the knowledge
ashleigha894
Hey can you do one of those informational albums to teach us about insurance?
acme64
DO AN AMA!
Ivegotadiddlybunchofcoconuts
Hey you're giving us insurance knowledge on Imgur. That should be kinda considered working.
frozenvision
What did it say? It's deleted.
GuyShaggy
But we aren't paying him...so he's kinda going rogue...or something
Eratix
We pay him with upvotes! =)
mollyImalone
wait until his boss starts doing the same...
Muffinburgler
Oh! He looks like a young one too ): I hope they just moved him instead of killing him.
PontificalUndulationsOfBlasphemicGesticulation
Pretty sure a "young cougar" is an oxymoron.
Misformanatee
According to Reddit: jk I don't use Reddit.
lulwot
Daww... he's so little. He hasn't even grown into his ears yet.
fattymcelbows
Or his paws.
cerrasponda
me too! He looks like a big teenager cougar :(
AnonoMouser
Yeah, let's put aggressive animals back out on the street. What could possibly go wrong?
wesfree
Retard
PlayingDevilsAdvocate
I'm with you on this one, lot of people using petty insults in place of counter arguments I notice as well
MilitanttiTalitintti
You actually think there needs to be a counter argument for that?
PlayingDevilsAdvocate
always need to be a counter argument
MilitanttiTalitintti
You are not being edgy by pointing out something that stupid, sugarcube.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
wow, you really are something else.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
the stupidity and ignorance are prominant on many levels.
chelsea13
Did you get dropped on your head?
Muffinburgler
I'm sorry, but you're an idiot. 1, there is no aggression here. 2, it's a wild animal, it's not going on the streets.
WOOPWOOPthatsthesoundofthepolice
imgur likes to take hard-line stances on things. i see your point. the cat becomes accustomed to the sights/smells and becomes a problem
soareyouchineseorjapanese
I'm pretty sure the only time they would actually kill it would be if it had already killed/ maimed someone
Fayte
How do you know he hasn't killed someone? You don't know his life man.
soareyouchineseorjapanese
I read his vibes man. He doesn't even eat meat. Just flowers
EmotiveElcor
did, just that they wouldn't hesitate to. I hope he was relocated too.
retgarr
If this animal shows a habit of hanging around people, it will be killed.
EmotiveElcor
No, if he's a danger they'd shoot him in a heartbeat. Or if he had even the smallest injury, they'd shoot him. I'm not saying they (1/2)
ObviousCaptain
eat rocks but I think they're delicious. (2/2)
cerrasponda
even so, they shouldn't kill them. They're protected.
Muffinburgler
Youuu've never met easily spooked city people.
retgarr
I don't think many country folks would be that nonplussed by a cougar in their house.
Muffinburgler
We certainly wouldn't shoot it. We find stranger things in our houses every day.
retgarr
No you don't.
wandergeist
Young cougars have to find territory so they're often pushed by established cats into human-occupied areas.
ithinkimacommunistormaybeimjustdrunk
More like: humans have to find territory so they often push into cougar-occupied areas.
LoveSays
Which is why predators control their own populations, contrary to what hunters want to tell you.
ithinkimacommunistormaybeimjustdrunk
More like: humans have to find territory so they often push into cougar-occupied areas.
Muffinburgler
Yep, I know that ;)
nnovetljlde
Apparently all cats destroy blinds.
mrgurth1
I believe it's genetic
SparklingCockWaffle
Seriously, did it just dive through the window or what
IloveUimgur
Yep, and kittens get trained early. http://cdn.attackofthecute.com/October-26-2011-01-23-41-tumblrlmfh7f4qy71qk5yn3o11280.jpg
temujin9
filistene
Quick, use a laser pointer to distract it!
LP700GTRR34ZL1CLS63AMG
That... might actually work. Maybe for a few seconds, but maybe enough to lead it out of the house.
pizzayum
HOW DID THEY GET PICTURES FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE?
Misformanatee
They bounced across the kitchen on their giant balls.
cricketsandcicadas92
Very carefully
SavageHonesty
My guess would be after animal control came and tranquilized it.
pizzayum
okay yeah I assumed something like that but they must have balls of steel
SavageHonesty
Or maybe they beat it over the head with their alloy gonads.
Jegazi
It looks asleep so my guess would be that it's tranquilized.
pizzayum
I feel like I would be traumatized if I went into my house to see it there, I don't if id go in even if it was tranquillized...
baconsmellsreallygood
Cougars love pepper... They hate cinnamon
NiteFury
what was that from?
etharay
Hangover?
baconsmellsreallygood
From the Hangover... When they tried to roofie a tiger with steak. Actually said tigers love pepper
NiteFury
o yeah! i need to watch that movie again!
aselfdefeatingattitude
Yes... asleep...
Jeanemon
I thought it was dead too, but that last picture is def it in a animal transport box.
Thorbane
I think I see a dart stuck to its leg second to last picture.
ExPFCWintergreen
i think in the first pic they were like "who the fuck did this? better take pictures for evidence. OH SHIT! COUGAR!" *snap*
pizzayum
Haha probably XP by then I would be long gone i think maybe?
Magnivore
They probably walked inside and activated their camera.
Crouse
plot twist: windows.
virginassnigga
Front door.
UndercoverDumbledore
The final pic looks like it is in a metal crate, the 2nd to last the cougar is in the same place it was in the outside pics so yeh, tranq.
Julidy1
windows
DarkDraega07
Very carefully.
HailSatinGodOfFabric
With a camera on a long stick
eddas
MALP on a Stick!
lepinator
I think the photo are not in chronogical order ..
maxpaxman
turn caps lock off
iwantigby
Also, why?!
baconsmellsreallygood
roofies
Faessel
They probably could have entered the house, large cats aren't typically inclined to eating things they don't get to stalk and chase. (1/2)
Faessel
Though cougars have shown to be more opportunistic about their food, so I wouldn't suggest it either. (2/2)
Camali45
the differences in likes makes me wonder if someone is going to be eaten for not reading the second half.
Faessel
I can not be held responsible for any cougars eating Imgurians who didn't read both comments. At least big cats are cute, right?
GnRtattoo
(S)hes tranqued in the last 2 pics
TittyMcButt
Is this a gw joke?
GnRtattoo
gw?
TittyMcButt
Gone Wild. I thought it was because of the ( ) but I guess not lol
GnRtattoo
nope. Just stating that the cat of unknown gender was tranqualized in the last 2 pics
NoSchoolLiketheOldSchool
The call is coming from inside the house!!
iamireland
Catcall.
Destin
Soooo....this happened in Chile, because i watched this on the news like three hours ago. Police suspects it was kept illegally in a nearby>
mokacapuccino
yep, or he is chilean or OP is a liar!
Destin
house
tipples
S-s-soft kitty, n-nice kitty, with zero fucks to give... happy kitty, sleepy kitty, please let me live.
penguishark
I actually sang this song to a tiger once!
luigidude44
your name must be Sheldon
SatanLordOfUpvotes
Why isn't this top comment.. seriously.. why?
cantfixhoratio
This was perfection.
tipples
If this breaks my previous top comment record (6,004), I'm opening a bottle of Champagne. Or Zapp Brannigan's finest Shampagin.
thegreatdistractor
this made my day
SinisterKid128
That was amazing! YOU DESERVE A DRINK!
IKnowTheGuacIsExtra
I'm gonna need this to have more upvotes.
plazmatyk
Mmkay
pyxieface
You made my day you glorious bastard!
ImNotGoodAtTheseKindsOfThings
You're my new favorite.
ravnicrasol
This, this should be Top Comment of 2014
Stacychan
Epic. xD
birdlife
this is the best thing i have ever read
counslor
Points be damned! THIS is the best comment!
azazzelx
well played...Sheldon....
ravnicrasol
GOLD GOLD I SAY, commenting so I can see the awesome rhyme latter
pt241177
she don’t give a fuck.lo l
SontaranPotatoMan
Best comment I've seen in days
tipples
Aww, thank you. My inspiration is that I need to be up in 6 hours so I should go to bed already.
deathmoney07
If you're genius comments come from 6 lack of sleep then I would appreciate it if you would neglect you sleep schedule more. Pure GOLD!
mollymolly
this has just become the best comment EVER
WhereWillYouBeWakingUpTomorrowMorning
i signed in - just to upvote this comment...well done!
FlyingScot
I think I'm missing a reference here
sheanar
=^_^=
OinkOinkElbow
Transcendent.
ShadowXII
Comment of the Day, please enjoy these fine titties: (nsfw)
tipples
I'm a woman, so mainly I enjoy my own, but thank you.
iamgroooot
We're all winners today.
SanAnStrangler
This deserves to have 9k upvotes.
WigsMagoo
Well done.
roxanne888
take all of my likes!
jsktrogdor
What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze....
theblondeone
My first real laugh this morning and I needed it... Thanks!
CinematicLaura
Comment of the day for me.
Nyteblade
I'm laughing so fucking hard right now.
BadDragon
happy kitty, sleepy kitty, please please leave
n4chtm4hr
This is the best thing ever
fauxglove
...well played.
PeePeeFrictionPleasure
Definitely the best comment I've seen in a while!
TilliamWe
Excellent!
kurastwolf
You! You funny guy! I like you, funny guy! Have leetle green aroow!
tipples
I'm a girl, but thank you!
ashmenon
In that case, have MY little green arr..wait, that sounded a lot sexier in my head.
tipples
Ew, go away. That wasn't funny.
HiddenSanity
I care not about this points, this is the top comment, in my heart, causing an artery blockage, send help.
neatospeedo
called 911...they're on their way. unless of course you're from England, you'll have to dial 0118 999 88199 9119 725! [pauses] 3, yourself.
Thesmithlord
*sings* 0118 999 8199 9119 725
hiddenequality
Looking at your username I thought that we could make an interesting duo.
HiddenSanity
Maybe... maybe.
deathbykitten
Lol and tell them what? "AN INTERNET GUY IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD! SEND
ThePelican
LASAGNE
deathbykitten
lasagna ?
MadGankist
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY. GET THAT LASAGNA!
ArmadilloDill
Hahaha!
SAIKOsean
I hate TBBT, But this made me chuckle.
tipples
(pssst I only know it from the Internet- never seen that show)
SAIKOsean
Consider yourself lucky. I have only been able to tolerate 2 full episodes.
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
I'm favoriting this thread just for this comment.
herebecausecats
I LOLed so hard!
MostlyMaggie
I love this.
eequalsmcsquared
Favoriting for your comment.
croquemonsieurlover
I don't get why this isn't top comment yet. Clim the imgurian ladder, you witty you !
nickg131
Omfg that was brilliant. I tip my hat to you miss. Freaking hilarious
thatisntwherethatbelongs
Top comment
karenlynn
Should be top comment.
tipples
*curtsies*
CapriciouslyConspicuous
So it has been written and so it shall be!
GenericScreenNameHere
AGREED!!
owiseone
is now
sandpirate
You. I like you.
glitteryladybug
Lol, you rhyme with nipples
tipples
"Tipple" means "to imbibe (usually alcohol)", but obviously I picked it because it's also a funny rhyme
glitteryladybug
Thank you for adding an awesome new word to my vocabulary!
ghotinotfish
Now let's do a duet!
ContagiousOutrageous
Well played good Sir/Ma'am
Bradly134
i just don't see the sexual appeal...
sjs8190
I'm guessing you're not too familiar with Odion....
dustywood
you don't like pussy?
CertainIyNotBatman
Mee-ow.
IHaveThePerfectPuzzleForYou
It's good pussy.
Bradly134
hey now, dont go jumpin' to conclusions haha
stutteringbob
Put.. put your dick in it...
FlyingScot
I was always told never put your hands anywhere you wouldn't put your pecker, but now I'm wondering if it isn't the other way around
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
They would love this at /R/Cougars ;-)
ninmonkey
Not with that attitude
lemonwaterice
I do… if you know what I mean
identikit
60% of the time...
IWannaSeeHowItEnds
Buffy comic reaction for those who want it.
PizzaAmnesia
Is he smiling in the last one? Like I just fucked up your house, do something about it.
Bradly134
or its drugged up on tranqs...my vote is for the drugs...
haroldstickyhands
http://imgur.com/TbjOxg4
Deliphin
why the fuck is it sideways.
haroldstickyhands
So he points towards the comment, Mr. Crabby Bunny
bugbug23
So is there cougar insurance? Or are they pretty much screwed?
Chevellefreak90
he looks so happy! how nice of you to lend him your house:)
SteveHarringtonsLusciousLocks
you have to look past the outer skin to really see whats on the inside
hailthefish
Something something like an animal in bed something something.
BestUsernameEvur
Didn't get it at first then scrolled to the next picture and died laughing
DrinkOuzoForgetCrisis
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
chemistrydoc
Quit lion
minibeast711
"Are you sure I'm a tiger? Maybe I'm just a vicious koala bear."
PleaseLoveMeLess
Good for you.
MaliciousCuntWithoutAReason
Koalas aren't bears.
[deleted]
[deleted]
DongleDingler
A cougar is just one of many names for this animal, it is also known as a puma, panther, mountain cat, catamount, and mountain LION. TMYK
MadGankist
Catamount? TIL...
domoarigato
*applauds*
Erebus9997
*applauding intensifies*
Fire2box
"Am I a lion?"
revolvermouthwash
"I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well though, I have a mighty roar."
bradley5055
you spelled your name wrong . hehe
ninmonkey
His name is B-Rad Lee.
vanst
A cat is fine too.