IFartMoreThanHim
256960
7288
161
Jan 7, 2017 11:03 PM
IFartMoreThanHim
256960
7288
161
M00N3EAM
When I finally got glasses at 15, my nana said "Wow now you can finally see how ugly your boyfriend is." in front of my boyfriend
TheKindlyOnes
Sister brought her boyfriebd to meet great grandma. She looks him over and goes, "this the one you were telling me about, or the other guy?"
TheKindlyOnes
His jaw drops and looks at sis in shock and horror, we are laughing, sis sputtering they never suspected the 105 year old would get them.
DieBySnuSnu
I can't wait to be old.
Tater4049
It's probably not their age that makes them assholes. I've always been like this.
SwiggitySwoogityigotyerboogity
And somehow she's surprised when she ends up all alone during the holidays...
Benruryefri
Guess who's going to a home grandma
TouchThaFishyyy
shorticia
My husband's gma called the police and sent them to our house to make sure my husband was OK because we hadn't been to visit her in a week.
rezpawner
If my grandmother was anything like this, I'd water her porch every fucking winter.
qwerty4007
Comments like this confused me as a child. In southern Arizona, you would be doing her a favor and wasting valuable water.
opticsnake
My Grandma used to say ridiculous things about family members all the time followed by, "Well, at least you don't have to wonder what I 1/?
opticsnake
was thinking." At a family reunion she insulted my cousin and then used her patented line. I was sick of it and said, "If that's what 2/3
opticsnake
you're thinking Grandma, I don't want to fucking hear it." I've never been so popular with my family.
lightlybreadedtoast
Met my fiancé's grandpa. I've got a tattoo of a rune on my wrist. When I shook his hand he saw it and stated he "wouldn't talk to a witch"
acornlightbulbcanopenerwalrus
Well don't turn him into a Fucking newt!
Sephority
He'll get better
birbdog
My grandma got in a taxi, saw that the driver was Asian and said "Ching chong piddle pie po!"
MoesToes
heeeee
11111111231231123
#2 https://media.giphy.com/media/q6lFIYvnnjYOY/giphy.gif
Sentay
What a bunch of awful grandparents.
maelthra
My grandfather wears glasses, and once asked everyone if he should get contacts. My great-grandmother: "No. The glasses hide your face."
MrShpoople
When I was much younger I dated a girl, who's grandma would just stare at me whenever I was over there. One morning my girlfriend's 1/2
MrShpoople
Mother asked how I wanted my coffee. I said I wanted it like I like my women. Hot strong and black... My girlfriend's grandmother 2/2
nanzer
2/2, how accurate
BecozImBatman
Upvoted for ur comments
MrShpoople
3/3 started laughing really hard and said I knew I liked you. We were best friends after that. Even after me and my girlfriend broke up
EnterTheMongoose
1/2, 2/2, j/k 3/3.
MrShpoople
Oops
EverybodyLovesTheWordMoist
Almost like I like my men, but ground up, and in the freezer :)
deadandbloated
Hi there
EverybodyLovesTheWordMoist
:) I see what you did there:)
RockImgr
TheJolliestBunchOfAssholesThisSideOfTheNuthouse
OhJustPutDownUsernameThatllBeMetaEnoughToGetYouSomePoints
ProphetOfNurgle
My grandma once asked my sister if she was "part kike" during a heated round of monopoly.
JustDaShoemaker
Throw in racist and homophobic remarks and that's my gran
Dawnstempest
I love old people like that, this generation is way too fucking politically correct.
insanity89
As a guy, I wanna be a savage grandma lol
DrKriegersClone
I would probably at least try a jalapeno cookie.
Fachera
Then people wonder why some old folks get dumped in nursings home and never get visitors.
EmeraldLight
I have an aunt who is like this. I avoid her at all costs.
DeadOnionSaysWhat
So effing true, old people are effing people, people who suck and get old. Just like dirty old men were just young pedophiles who got old.
JohnBCook94
Me to my grandma: "hey grandma, if you lived back in the 1700's would you own slaves?" Cont.
JohnBCook94
Her: "oh I'm sure! But I would be very nice to them. I would pay them, and let them sleep inside my home"
JohnBCook94
Me: "oh, so you're saying you would just farmhands?"
JohnBCook94
Her: "ones that wouldn't be allowed to leave, yes."
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
My grandma buys me really slutty clothes. She says 'It's okay, as long as it covers your nipples'. Thanks grandma.
PmMeYourTattoos
Username checks out.
4noku
Only the best for her grandson
DasBeaker
Uhhhh so what kinda slutty we talkin?
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
A seethrough crop top was classified as 'covering your nipples'. Even tho u could see them.
ashmenon
"covers" =/= "hides"
DasBeaker
I think I need to give your grandma a handshake..
HairBallTech
Pics or it didn't happen
KnockKnockWhosThereJehovahsWitness
I mean technically correct is the best kind of correct
Samaedag
My grandma made me halter tops when I was 9 and told me I'd want to lose weight after seeing my back fat all the time.
Justag33k
Grandma's can be savage af
ElbowDeepInMythicalCreatures
Aye
Ewanator
They've had 70 odd years of experience.
highevolutionary
That's even.
SteevyT
My grandma told my brother that if she planted him in her garden she would have a bloomin' idiot next spring. It was hilarious.
smoochmysnoot
My kids were born a year apart and my MIL liked to call me 'fatty the cow' in Czech whenever I ate anything-she was visiting to "help me"..
IgnatiusJReilly2601
Grandma's what?
SireNightFire
Work at a Starbucks that's right next to an old folks home. Can confirm that they are especially savage when they don't get their coffee.
ExistentialCat
Mother called my grandma in xmas day and put the phone on speaker first thing she says about me "did she lose weight?! Saw a pic on that fb"
TapToRetry
You're beautiful -- James Blunt
MrPredator
"Hey, what do you call an african american that works at night." , "Grandma, don't!" , "Black Night." , "Damn it grandma!"
JanetVanDyne
One time I overheard my granny talking with my then pregnant 14 y/o cous about fruit shakes. She said "Well, I guess this time the banana-
JanetVanDyne
Juice will go in your mouth instead."
JefftheIntern
So can punctuation.
Pishposhbingbong
It comes from getting to an age when you realise you've outlived your capacity to give a fuck. "Fuck you, I'm dead soon. I do what I like."
Tsurusennin
Savage isn't enough, this is fucking brutal.
fbutt09
Spoffles
*grandma's
Mechlai
Mine tried to catch me off guard with a "well I guess we know what you look at on the internet" and I replied with a jerking motion 1/2
Mechlai
and said "lots and lots of porn"
itcouldbeme
grandmas*
iAMthedroidurlookingfor
Mexican here ...mine are so evil it makes me sad sometimes haha
iAMthedroidurlookingfor
She used to tell me things that I believed & now that I think back I'm like I'm so stupid why would she make that up? Why did I believe her?
SuburbanMeerkat
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-07/29/20/enhanced/webdr05/anigif_enhanced-16588-1406679171-13.gif
iAMthedroidurlookingfor
Hahaha!!! She would tell me stuff like "if you make noise while washing dishes you're not very good at washing dishes" 24 now and I
iAMthedroidurlookingfor
Believed her up until 22 she said she just didn't want to hear me...which is odd since we washed dishes outside her house (no running water)
captainrobyn
This makes me feel better. Not all grandmas are nice. I'm glad I'm not alone.
ireadabooktoday
Mine is super southern, racist, and sad because I'm a 22 year old female in college instead of married wirh a kid at 21 like my cousin.
Showmeyourotters
Mine's ignored me most of my life, even went so far as to arrange for me to come visit and then not even be in town the day I was there.
captainrobyn
That's just bizarre.
Showmeyourotters
She "forgot" her biggest church event of the year was the same weekend and picked that. I just went home :p
Oldbirdlady
My 13 yr old cousin told my GM she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up. My GM said, "you won't make any money without boobs, dear."
ThePhoenix204
DuckFan87
When I got my 2 year degree there was a write up about me in the paper. I showed it to my grandma and she flipped it over to read the ads.
Lenaaaaaaaaaa
One time I had my hair dyed bright red, and my great grandma looks at me and says "Oh, you are very beautiful, dear, even if your ginger."
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
There was a writeup for getting a degree???
DuckFan87
A smallish town and I got the school's outstanding graduate award.
MagykPanda
Grandma strikes again
lostnortherner
LOL, my dad (who didn't go to college) said to me after I got my bachelors, "well yours wasn't like a really a difficult one was it."
worldsokayestspeler
Well... what was your degree?
AbsoluteMercenary
jimmyzhoopz
Lesbian Dance Therapy
TheHoleStretcher3000
SirSockRock
lostnortherner
Aww thank you I don't think I've ever been sent a hug before :)
lostnortherner
Aww thank you I don't think I've ever been sent a hug before :)
TylerTheAnarchist
I remember when I was 20 I landed a job at Intel making $21/hr & told my grandfather his response: "Thats only 40K a year get a real job"
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
I mean, I make 35/hr + extras, I'm 19 years old and my grandparents still don't think that's good enough. You can't win, aye?
misoraq
Woah woah woah 35/hr? What do u do if u don't mind me asking
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
I work for the electricity faults team (dispatching and logging faults like lines down, shit on fide, shit exploding)
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
Fire*
misoraq
That's really cool :)
wellthisisnotgood
Sometimes it is also a matter of "where he is"... But yeah, 19 and 35$/h is pretty nice !
imjustheretobitchaboutpeople
She. I started off making 9/hr at 17. So I've come pretty far.
galaxenkoffe
My grandmother made me eat porridge till I threw up, later on in life when I confronted her about it she just said I was spoiled????
AVkid
When I got my eyebrow pierced I remember my grandad saying "you know we fought wars so you didn't have to have shrapnel in your face?"
raidleadergutts
isitduckorduct
Glorious.
sweetlittlebee
My cousin came back from Europe with her eyebrow pierced. My grandma guilt tripped her over it so bad that my poor cousin was in tears.
ProfessorDumbledoge
I'm so grateful my Nanna is the loveliest person ever, it would break my heart if my grandmother was like these :(
ashmenon
Mine had an incessant curiosity and loved to learn stuff. She'd tinker with cable TV decoders, remote controls, etc.
aselleus
Yeah my grandma was a sweetheart..she never said anything mean. Miss her lots
sarzaya
Me too. My grandma was amazing and danced all night at my wedding.