hotfezz
523853
11180
80
This is from my time training people in emergency response in the oil and gas industry, both experienced and anecdotal
Nov 19, 2014 11:06 PM
hotfezz
523853
11180
80
Strategia
An average day on Space Station 13.
TankLovesFranya
Thank you for these, OP. I smiled.
INeverComment
I start my safety engineering job in January. This will be me.
Chumbucket4
As someone who works on health & safety at a major chemical plant..... This!
DaftTechno
I have a shirt that says "Engineering, it's like math, but louder."
willc78
That first one cracked me up
seanvt
Well at least the thermal damage will only be brief
Nahxela
What if it's an enchanted helmet of fire resistance that grants +500 fire res?
ingen2
fall damage ignores armor, sadly.
ayegill
Also, it can kill space marines
LivintheCommielandDream
As an engineer, I approve.
amaya141291
My uncle works on the top of cranes building skyscrapers. My grandma always wants him to wear safety gear 1/2
amaya141291
he just laughs and says 'What part of a helmet or vest will save me if I fall?'
oddmog
Not expecting much but please tell me he at least wears a safety harness. One swift gust and he's gone without it.
amaya141291
Honestly, I would have no idea. But he goes out on the booms, so I would assume so. he's the guy who builds the cranes.
oddmog
Good. Honestly hard hats are a pain and I've bumped myself so many times because of em but harnesses are non negotiable at height.
amaya141291
I wouldn't say I'm scared of heights, but there is no way in fuck that I would ever be able to do what he does. Man is insane.
snurx
Engineering class project: design a troop transport to move army men toys down a hallway. One team's transport flipped over, 1/?
snurx
dumping the army men on the floor, rolled back upright, sped off a few feet, turned BACK around, and fucking DROVE OVER the army men. 2/3
snurx
The TA's face was an amusing mix of horror and ROFL.
xenoswift
Laughed out loud for real, teared up a bit. You are a winrar
ummmwat
Me: "What do we do if the alarms go off?" Boss: "Doesn't really matter, the shockwave'll kill us before we can get anywhere safe."
Evauk
As a guy who worked in the oil & gas fields, these are legit. I could add a few to this..... (1/?)
Evauk
"If the rig does explode, run upwind, don't inhale, and make sure you wear clothing under your FRC's so when they burn off your not naked."
Evauk
This is a hard-hat required area but if theres a flash fire, please remove your hard hat so it does not melt on your head. Put back on after
Evauk
If you fall the safety harness you have only works at heights over 6ft. But yes, you need to wear it if you go 4ft off the ground. Safety!
Pray4Zombies
I was once told I needed to wear a life jacket to work on a catwalk over a 30' deep wet well. I'm an electrician........The well was empty.
Locolarue
Not a tether...a life jacket.
oddmog
Hey now, don't you know the appearance of safety is our first priority! Company motto and all. Guessing they didn't care about a harness.
Brokeshiba
You. I like you.
CrimeBrulee
IN WHAT FUCKING ORDER?!?
Ahiba
Is this Mr. Burn's plant or something?
FrankTheCube
These are the guys who built the plant.
whatsthisusernameofwhichyouspeak
LitchLitch
Having worked in industry, they're ALL Mr. Burn's plant
Leithoa
And No disintegration http://i.stack.imgur.com/zfV9A.jpg
Greeneyeddevil
If you make a blog of these I will follow it EVERY FUCKING DAY.
boobsboobseverywhere
NO DISINTEGRATIONS
ImTheOneWhoTookYourRug
except The Cure
KirchoffsVoltageLaw
My rule of engineering: If something bad happens, just remember it was a mistake and mistakes happen. Oh and don't kill yourself.
Quevvy
As a chemical engineering student, this frightens me.
oddmog
As a guy who works on the floor ditto. Sadly industrial reality is what it is and you just have to try and keep yourself safe.
whhy
I like these. MOAR!
Rikoshi
Agreed. This is 100% pure gold.
rasmis
Jeg er fææææærdig!
Tacotuesdayeveryday
There more now
NeoHelios
Can we have some details about the disintegration one please?
TheBinky
OP gunna get ded
data2dyne
so ded
[deleted]
[deleted]
BloodBlight
*
romedawwg
Thank you. I'm stupid
ChangedMyName
You said it, not me
BloodBlight
:P
chemistrydoc
When did the internet decide MOAR was better than MORE. We need answers to these questions. Get on it scientists.
Neuroactive
lolcats, n00b
AzaellexTytalus
Round about when cats started wanting cheeseburgers.
ColinCraig
http://mindboggleddotnet.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/spidermanscience_320x245.jpg
TadpoleHitler
jrb1165
more + roar = moar!
Seanalanmorris
This explanation is concise and fits most perfectly. I like this.
manstick13
This was like 2006, cmaan
tehsquee
right now.
ergis81391
I made an account because of the crap you were being fed... the b/tards of 4 Chan created it. It's a way of screaming for more without (1/2)
ergis81391
All of the exclamation marks. And because b/tards were always looking to improve their "secret language" (2/2)
Jerenemy
I'm fairly certain the Chive started that nonesense... or at least they beat it to death.
ExoFox
*historians. You asked "when," not "how." Anyways, "MOAR" emphasizes a yearning for more than a simple "MORE," the misspelling draws atntion
itsYiyas
It's not really a misspelling thing, it's a shouting thing. Like Carl/Coral.
TheGhostOfFutureDisappointments
Random: I have a coworker named Carl. Call him Coral allllll the time.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
You motherfucker...
TheOddsAreGoodButTheGoodsAreOdd
I was under the impression that science on Imgur only involved pictures of semi/wholly nude women.
HoodRatMessiah
As someone who wants to be an engineer, this is awesome
stouf761
Do you mean you are in engineering school or in high school looking at engineering schools? Either way if the differential equations (1/2)
stouf761
haven't scared you, it's not real engineering. I'm looking at you, industrial/systems engineers. Try some fluids classes and we'll talk.
ProbablyDrunkAgain
As a working professional engineer, you ain't seen hard yet.
babikoff
Was this supposed to come across as elitist? Even fluids (which you seem to think is pretty tough) isn't bad for everyone.
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
As a MechE grad who ended up getting a systems engineer job...i wasted so much effort
strangecharmquark
As an engineering major taking Differential Equations next semester, I'm terrified now.
TheBrightKday
I hated multivariable calculus but thought differential equations was really easy. Just understand the basics and you should be fine.
stouf761
Diff Eq as a class isn't bad, it's the application of them in mass transfer and kinetics classes.
habi816
Me: I'm a Nuclear Engineering student. People: Cool, so do you want to blow stuff up. Me: No, nuclear disasters are bad for employment..
AnActualDuck
One of my best friends is a nuclear engineer, but he still hasn't sent me a radioactive spider like he promised.
Ringshadow
Do you really want a black widow, because that's how you get a black widow (they're common in some nuke plants).
dredmorbius
I'm trying to picture what AnActualDuckSpiderMan would look like. And what powers it would have.
AnActualDuck
http://imgur.com/PxeGuVv
dredmorbius
OK, but powers? Perhaps a web-spinning advice mallard?
cursedTinker
Thank you.
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
I knew my nuclear engineering professor was doing his job the day I saw the words "prompt critical" and my heart rate quickened.
hotfezz
I know your NEng professor fucked up when you saw "prompt critical" on your control screen :-P
Ringshadow
I'm radiation protection and reading that my first thought was "Well, time to go, *grab shit and run*"
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
Prompt critical: you have less than a second to get your shit under control or nope the fuck out of there.
Ringshadow
In commercial nuclear you're not going to be THAT close to a reactor. Still, time to move sensitive instruments /away/ from that shit..
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
Right, we learned from Chernobyl.
Elementalist01
TIL less than a second = 4ms (SL-1)
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
iirc, 4ms is the time taken for the average neutron to cause another fission. This means the power of the reactor ramps up in a matter of
Bent0916
More like "Yeah, who doesn't? But just.. not at work so much."
shadowrunner03
Boilermaker and structural engineer. i get to make shit AND know how to blow it up
nodend
I attend the university of utah, and have discovered cold fusion...
txmount
I'm still trying to figure out what would cause freezing, suffocation, poisoning, massive pressure damage, etc... IN THAT ORDER.
justjessblog
I wasn't. But now I am.
drusillastrange
Ammonia or even oxygen? My guess is liquified gases.
txmount
Liquified ammonia sounds plausible, and I know it's used in industrial freezer systems.
Tehbeefertehbeefer
Refrigerated(condensed?) hydrocarbon, possibly a chlorinated monomer? Leaks, evaporates, explodes. Just guessing.
bel6
I make Military apparel product sales always tells us: Well do we need to meet that spec? They'll have more things to stress over than this.
dopeythatme
I explained to my boss that exposed wire in the lab is bad, he response 'is there a Mil-std on that'
AMagicianWasDrivingDownTheRoadThenHeTurnedIntoADriveway
I read all of these in Cave Johnson's voice. And now you will, too.
SayWhatYouMeanMeanWhatYouSay
...well fuck.
manicavo
Perfect.
drakeirving
I read them in Varrick's voice.
rocketsurgeonmaster
This made it a million times better, and frankly, I'm a little scared at how awesome this post is now.
pomme1854
I thoroughly appreciate the ambiguity of your username.
AwhatNwhatAwhatMwhatE
Jokes on you! I don't know who that is!
DysgraphicProgrammer
This guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmH7tAJ0SfA
UncivilizedEngie
Joke's on you! You're missing out.
Leithoa
The Actor that plays J. Jonah Jameson, Farmers insurance guy,. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0799777/?ref_=tt_cl_t7 JK Simmons
pobody
I read your post in his voice too!
Mokisan
O, my God! This is so much more awesome. Honestly, thank you for the suggestion!
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
What do hobos like? Beard dirt?
DickChapey
I don't need your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
HelpMeAnakinTheJediAreTakingOUVAH
Make life take the lemons back!
ayegill
Demand to see life's manager!
hiryyuhayabusa
I'm gonna build a lemon that burns your house down!
grumplestiltzkin
Didn't the first time, but I sure as shit did the second time.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Follow the yellow line, you'll know when the test starts.
537461726c6f7264
Ahh, engineers. One of the few groups of people I don't mind getting
sirplayerone
blown by in a alley.
TheCobraChicken
Bananas from.
pretengineer
thanks?
VaguelySatisfying
YOU BASTARD
Probly
a couple McRibs.
rocketsurgeonmaster
Getting... what?
Dusseldwarf
Yes.
TheNextBestUsername
get = understand. Either that or I misinterpreted your subtle joke mocking the fact that a lot of us tend to take things too literally.
rocketsurgeonmaster
I get it now.
LicensedToChill
Obtaining, as in kidnapping
marsgoose
bananas for Christmas.
stouf761
Optimizing $/time, and ensuring that we can be lazy later, sooner. That about sums up most of us.
aRepost
As a lazy programmer
avidatheist
An non-lazy programmer is a bad programmer.
aRepost
My thoughts exactly.
Superkroot
True, but not every lazy programmer is good. You need a mix of laziness and ingenuity, otherwise you're just copying off stackoverflow
KirchoffsVoltageLaw
Lemme smash
Ringshadow
As nuclear power radiation protection, I don't let engineers out of my site. They don't know where they are or where they're going.
Xyzair
ಠ_ಠ Can't tell whether vigilant or keeping engineers captive in a power plant.
Ringshadow
-.- I meant sight. Sorry, it's late. I've literally watched engineers wander straight into contamination areas and get puzzled about it.
Xyzair
Hm...sounds like you could get away with both...
Ringshadow
Engineering is nowhere as bad as Operations. Operations is RP's sworn blood enemy.
Ringshadow
But they know that pipe they're following because that's their system and they'll follow it right into a contaminated area. Or pit.
Elementalist01
Alarmingly accurate... I feel this is the cause of like 90% of PCE's
Ringshadow
"You need to make it more visible!" "Sir, the signs are bright yellow and pink."
LokiOnTheCouch
Head from in the back of a Prius with dirty Mike and the boys
PirateFighter
Hahhahahahahahah... Fucking great.
ABadlyBehavedRabbit
Engineers, fancy helmets, casual mentions of mass death and destruction. Yep, this post is right up my alley.
Nuttsy
Shit, I have to get my degree.
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
I was an Mech Eng major and interned at a power plant. Senior Mech Engineer took me on a tour of the tunnel system for steam distribution>>
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
>> had to crouch to walk through and you can feel the heat coming off the pipes. Said these come off the headers and were #750psi >>
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
>> and superheated to over 500*F. Said don't worry, if one bursts while we're here you won't feel it. They'll just find your shoes and belt.
hackyourmind
Lol! ME majors ftw
cookiii
as an electrical design engineer.. if i mess up someone might actually die...
Nuttsy
Right now, I can't think of an engineer that doesn't have people dying when they fuck up. Well, almost.
cookiii
yeah, that's why engineering degrees are so hard..
agrrrrimapirate
the degree isn't the hard part, it's the 8 hour test you have to take after....
Frozenpasties
I guess training for combat engineer stuff for half a year doesn't count, but those were pretty much our main concerns too.
Denbus26
When doctors screw up, one person dies. When engineers screw up, thousands of people can die
iguessidontknowhowtospellimaganative
When doctors screw up, malpractice suits, when engineers do ???. See gm and the 13+ Americans they killed with no charges filed.
whatajoke
I'm a clinical scientist working within the pharmaceutical industry, millions could if we screw up...
NukeLeDouche
ERTW!
ThatOneSnorlaxInTheMiddleOfTheRoad
I know what you mean. It makes me all giggly.
Woofypaws
What's your opinion on people who wear highlighter colored clothing?
ABadlyBehavedRabbit
It depends on the situation, but I am typically quite fond of them.
BeeDeeKay
"Fancy".
ChangedMyName
"If you make a mistake people will die." - my statics professor
Demicol
I'm training as a software tester and our teacher keeps using testing software for nuclear plants as an example. Guess they're like this too
[deleted]
[deleted]
Superkroot
Which is why I went into web development. Let's rush it to production!
coolasliquidnitrogen
"I will never willingly cross any of your bridges" -my dynamics professor
TitaniumDragon
Well, that's why its called statics - because if it becomes dynamics, you're hosed.
pretengineer
My statics prof as well bro.
mfmage2
Did you happen to go to the University of Florida? My teacher said the same thing pretty much every single day.
ChangedMyName
Nope
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
Statics: Shit don't move. Dynamics: Shit moves. Stress analysis: Shit breaks. Failure anaysis: People die, you get sued.
TheSwedishCryptid
I'm computer engineer. It's always "Make it faster, smaller and cheaper"
TheDreadPirateJayneCobb
I just now realized how depressing that sequence of classes gets.
pretengineer
Realize the legal strength of a professional engineer's signature...
TheThreeLeggedJackalope
One of the many reasons I never got my PE license.
TheNamesTalcJamesTalcSpecialAntiCakedayAgent
*cough* hyatt regency
Whirlwind00
You learned about that too, eh?
C8H10N4O2addict
I love how every engineering major I've ever met have been the most dry and cynical bastards ever, and these perfectly describe it.
icelandicsealbear
We know things man.
DoctorHuh
I'd still put in my two weeks at 'disintegrate' .
qussow
As a biology major, we either end up germaphobes or capable of ignoring anything up to actual biohazards.
DanielReader
As an engineer that has many Paramedic friends, a dry and dark sense of humor can be a wonderful way of getting through the week
vaginaengineer
I am not dry, cynical, or a bastard. I'm awesome.
RisingPhoenix92
As an engineering student its one of the only ways we get to have fun on the job. Interned for two companies and they were like this :)
eggmuffin
The word is "efficient".
temerairewindragon
Well, it's all about optimization. Distance yourself from the people by making them numbers and their injuries statistics. Then minimize.
dopeythatme
My groups motto is 'F**k Em.'
stutteringbob
Except #2. I've got experience with #2. Some stuff has a pressure wave that can take a man clean off his tractor from 400 feet away and...
stutteringbob
... then leave him covered in drilling fluids at least 50 feet away resting in his corn field wondering what the fuck hit him.
Azated
As an I.T. student, most of my fellows (who passed) were like this... at least, the ones would could talk to people, that is.
C8H10N4O2addict
Are all engineering students socially inept?
Bent0916
Engineers are dramatically more likely to have autistic children. Two engineers reproducing is a serious risk.
C8H10N4O2addict
As a bio major, how screwed would my kids be if I procreated with a fellow bio major and subsequently fostered said progeny?
Dekker3D
.... So any offspring I make on purpose will definitely be autistic. That's good to know.
zstorm6
As someone planning on majoring in engineering, I was absolutely terrible until I joined my school's theater program. Much better now.
Bobbysilk
Yes
srobb
Nah, in my experience the engineers were very busy but did fine socially. Some of the computer science students, though...
TheAtomicTangerine
Dry, cynical, and sarcastic humor make days at the office a lot more fun.
TheFlyingHellfish
I love how engineering majors consider themselves engineers. Out of the 40ish engineering majors my freshman year, I'm the only grad.
iDrinkDrano
Ditto. We went from 60 to 6. Even in the final stretch there's burnouts and dropouts.
TheFlyingHellfish
Are you one of the six?
iDrinkDrano
Yes. Thank the stars.
TheFlyingHellfish
Which type of engineering do you do? Traffic, here.
DogitheWallcrusher
For all intents and purposes, once you're nearing the end of your Junior year, you might as well be one. A BAD one, but yeah.
TheFlyingHellfish
You clearly have not had interns.
DogitheWallcrusher
That's why I qualified it with 'a bad one!'
TheFlyingHellfish
You are nice.