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How to pet animals
How to Pet Animals by Adam Ellis
ThisKittyIsNohme
My cat is okay with me touching her face. Death comes to whoever touches her belly and her tail.
thetittiekeeper
My cat is probably broken, but he loves getting bellyrubs. http://imgur.com/IZiBZ1C
GrosslyIncandecent
I literally sighed loudly about the snake one. Snakes are excellent pets and can truly be loving about their owners.
WhereTheWildGooseGoes
In my experience with cats, the belly is a 50/50 area.
Spotaholic
The snake one....fuck that. *goes to pet the snake*
buneary100
Horse one should say neigh instead of nah.
DoctorSharkface
Yaaaaassssssss
notthisguythatguy
Now do one w a penis
Ralianth
JustSomeGuy44
pull it, bot it twisted awww, too fast for you? youre out
arawana
The horse one is completely wrong.
mattcoady
Plus they missed a perfectly good Neigh joke.
limpspinach
Yup. My thoughts exactly.
armeggedonCounselor
Excuse you. Snakes are awesome.
opalesandbanaynays
If you touch a bunny's foot it will not be happy. Source: my scars
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
agreed. tons of scars. And just TRY clipping their toe nails
NGmajora
What's wrong with Snakes ? My Ball Python is an Angel
carrickbender5150
My ex and i had a warmblood(horse) who would back you into a wall if you were behind him as if to say, "rub my cheekies", aka his backside.
pyth
AKA his ass
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
I used to have a warmblood! Sorry, I get excited seeing fellow horse people.
Warmblood
Not actually a horse person, but hey my name is relevant! :p
LeTonzy
All I could think about while reading http://imgur.com/VPjBokv
bjexter
and the lion http://imgur.com/b5F7I5i
TheSingleLump
They seriously didn't go with "Neigh" for the horse? (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
dragonbone79
That would have been too funny
JamesMoriartyThePsychopath
forgot
fantasyprone
http://33.media.tumblr.com/2fda122978cab53c9491e09065c5cce9/tumblr_mymxin2ruy1toomhvo1_250.gif
PMmeYourSteamKeys
...maybe :D
limonchiki
tee hee hee XD
ShaniaMarkTwain
Pfft, a peasants guide. We already learned ages ago.
fruust
My monkey in that game was so friendly. Ge befriended the creature of the last boss
DocBrown88
Sometimes I would pet him to fast, and accidentally slap him. I would feel so bad...
ShaniaMarkTwain
haha aww :'( same.
TellusEidolon
Black & White? Loved that game.
zothommog
Right you are Mr. Molyneux.
Crazylizzard
http://images.viralnova.com/000/035/307/petting-animals13.jpg
zer0gravity1
As someone with a chinchilla, spot on
OldBayismyBae
hmm, they could've put more "Oh yesssss" around the neck area.
Mariahelix
Horse isn't accurate!
waffleninjer
Exactly. Go pet a horse on the face, and you might lose a hand. Horses will bite HARD.
JustSomeGuy44
theyre arent all accurate, its just fun to try it
Shadow3343
The thumbnail made me think this was a diagram for the best cuts on a dog. I've never been happier to be wrong.
ADirtySmellyHippy
I had an english teacher who used to talk about how she loved the feel of her horses flanks and that she enjoyed caressing them.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
sometimes horse people tend to sound a bit more creepy than they mean to in my experience. But she could have just been a creepy person
ADirtySmellyHippy
She was a total creeper. She made me stay late and cried on my shoulder asking why I didn't like her once.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
oh god, that's the sort of person who really shouldn't ever be a teacher.
Candymostdandy
I feel like this is more accurate for cats and dogs, http://imgur.com/jMScXWu
YouMightGetIdeas
Just field tested it on my roommate's dog. Accurate
formaldejekyll
Yeah my pup loves it when we scratch his thigh. It's like a little puppy massage.
BaldEagleBeater666
Fuck yes!
evesfruits
Throughout the years my family has owned 10+ diffrent cats - none of them liked the "FUCK YES!" spot. All they did was bite and scratch.
EarthmanDan
I had a German shepherd who, despite the first diagram, loved having his legs scratched, particularly his knees and elbows.
PMmeYourSteamKeys
I don't think that dogs like their tails getting petted in general
SilverJig
My dog is not really a know giver of shits. You can vacuum him, doesn't care. He loves being scratched/petted everywhere. :p
TheAtomicTangerine
My black lab loves having his tail bushed with a shedding rake.
Flamingosbitch
I used to pull my dogs tail, and he never actually bit me he's just turn around and put his mouth around my hand and growl
InnocentValley
I once pulled our dogs tail to see what would happen (I was 5). She almost bit me. So that's a no no.
Giordino
You could have tried to pet it instead of pulling :P
Champdeluxe
my black lab does, but to be fair I think she has a few screws loose.
Giordino
Sounds like any lab
brutalswede
My dog didn't care where you scratched him, as long as you scratched him.
MyUsernameIsMyPassword
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
PMmeYourSteamKeys
Then he trusted you well, I suppose.
erratica
As a horse owner, they like to be pet everywhere, even their rumps and their tails and their bellies and their legses. Just don't sneak up.
DefinitelyNotAnAssassinHidingInAHaybale
My mare loved being scratched on her withers, shoulders, ears, and the underside of her head. She was like a big dog.
DrRageFist
Yup. There's nothin' funnier than scratching a foal on the rump and watching them do that lip thing.
SininenHetki
My horse would lose his absolute shit for a belly rub. Just taking a curry comb to his belly would mean he'd try and groom you back. Ouch
Braethias
I know nothing of ponies. Why? do they bite-groom?
SininenHetki
Horses do this you-scratch-my-back-I-scratch-yours sort of thing. If you hit a good spot, they'll try and return the favor, but their only
SininenHetki
Exhibit a) http://youtu.be/mh5T4ge1JWk
SininenHetki
tools are their teeth, so what they attempt as a favor is actually painful.
alwayshappier15
although I know some horses that hate their bellies touched. But scratch their withers and haunches and they'll love you forever! ;-P
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alwayshappier15
I had a mare that'd literally back herself up until you had no choice but to scratch her with the pitchfork.
cwreck23
my horse will nip your buns if you don't pet him till he's satisfied. i love my leo...
FarkasMacTavish
+1 for legses.
meaganman
Totally missed the opportunity for neigh instead of naw.
WaitIHadSomethingForThis
Tangentially related - vet down the street advertises as having a "positive cattitude". Missed opportunity, bugs me every. Friggin. Time.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
please never pet a strange horse on its head though, unless you know it's calm and can see you.
SnideInternetMoron
Even the people you don't like?
djmaskell
My horse looooves tail scritches sooo much, tolerates everything else. Nuzzles when you rub his ears too.
IamtheGreatQueenSnugglewombs
And under the head (do you say that?) Not the neck, but actually the head.
erratica
hil yis
blade9851
Balls?
erratica
Ever milked a horse? :D
erinbrown3321
I know this sounds gross but.... i would put my finger in their ears and get out all the nasty stuff, they love it!
erratica
Not weird at all, I cannot imagine how much of a relief it would be for those poor things! They can't get it themselves. :)
Kappa043
LEGSES
marquisdechocula
once I had to help my uncle jack off a horse
MrPATRIK
Ok.
marquisdechocula
sorry, i meant that i had to jack off a horse while my lazy-ass uncle watched
erratica
Sounds like a good time.
Rhase
I've found some flinch away from getting they heads pet. Depends on the horse. Neck is a definite spot they enjoy though.
PrincessLeiaOfAlderaan
usually if they are head shy that is an indication of either lack of training or rough handling/abuse in the past.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
or a person who is putting their hand in a scary position. I've seen ignorant people scare the crap out of pretty calm horses.
PrincessLeiaOfAlderaan
even the neck is sometimes iffy, the zone where basically all horses are ok with is their shoulder on the front legs, because they can see>
PrincessLeiaOfAlderaan
that area easily and if you do something scary they can run away easily. horse logic :p
westPAguy
Horse is a big deer and a deer is a big rabbit.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
and if they do something scary, you can easily back off and not get hurt! yay!
defunkatated
Definitely depends on the horse. My horse LOVED having her head pet. She'd rub her face all over me every time she got the chance.
Rhase
For sure! I'd just say for a horse you don't know it's better to approach slowly and stick to not-head petting haha.
defunkatated
Haha, definitely. Approach slowly and from the side. No hiding in that blind spot in front of their nose.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
mine too, except he'd also get super nippy because he thought everything was food
defunkatated
Mine stole my bagel once. And drank my sprite. I set it on my tack trunk outside her stall, and she tipped it over and licked it up. Crazy!
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
LOL. I horse I used to show on once tried to eat my hot dog while we were at a show. He then drooled all over my new white show shirt
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
LOL. I horse I used to show on once tried to eat my hot dog while we were at a show. He then drooled all over my new white show shirt
PMmeYourSteamKeys
New imgurians, could you please browse highest scoring of month/year sometimes? It's getting really bored seeing same posts going viral ever
graehall
I boringy week too sometimes, mate :)
JustSomeEnglishGuy
2 years I've been on here and not seen it.
PMmeYourSteamKeys
boring*
Havacado
Well I choose to look at it differently the second time. "Best cuts of meat for different animals." and now its new again!
PMmeYourSteamKeys
y week.
ShodanDOS
Just press right and shut up. Geez.
PMmeYourSteamKeys
If you went to user-sub you would see that 80% of the content is pure reposts and therefore a lot of good original content (1/2)
PMmeYourSteamKeys
never go viral... not many people would keep reposting things every week if no one upvoted it...
Magixxxx
There's a solution. Don't come here anymore.
ashstachecashstache
Jesus Christ, just scroll past it. You want people to look over shit from the last entire year because you can't just swipe past it?
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PMmeYourSteamKeys
funny, etc.
RollerCoasterQueen
As a horse rider you can stroke a horse anywhere they pretty much give no shits as long as you don't startle them
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
they actually really enjoy having their tail's scratched if you do it right.
RollerCoasterQueen
fuck yeah they do
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
I've almost made several horses fall over that way. It got to be a problem with my horse. He also took down a fence leaning on it so hard
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
from relaxation that is
RollerCoasterQueen
omfg your horse sounds fab
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
he's pretty fab! However, he is no longer my horse. =(
Mobax
I had a rabbit as a kid, he hated being touched on the head and ears.
thisismytruename
Yeah they like it being rubbed, its when kids pull on them, then they hate it
Imprettybadatmakingusernames
Mine loves it. She'll push into face rubs.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
I have bunnies, bunnies don't like being pet. :c
ladyanoxia
My rabbit loves it! He even pushes his head under your hand to get some love.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
Bunnies are group animals please get it a friend to play with if you have just one.
ladyanoxia
Dogs are also group animals. A bunny can be really happy alone if you have enough time to spend with them, and I'm all day at home.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
There are a lot of bunnies in the shelter waiting for a loving home, it's really fun to watch them play together too. Please consider it.
DontAskMeAboutMyUsernameOkay
Bitch I will hold as many snakes I want. At least it doesn't really have a spot you can't touch it.
Rhase
Wild snakes aren't exceptionally cool with it, at first. But once they realize you're not killing/eating them they're pretty chill!
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
My baby milksnake has a ticklish tail. Or at least its fun to think that.
Paperstars
My boa likes to be pet on her back. My python oddly, loves under his chin rubbed.
CountryMetal01
Snakes are badass
nightaccio129
Legit question: how can you tell if they like it or not? Do they like wag their tails or purr or something?
EnderXVI
Mine prefers to find a spot to curl up, and if he's not in the mood to be pet he'll move faster to find a secluded place.
Paperstars
The python will press his head down to get more rubs. Not kidding. He leans into it.
LCMcG
Buddy language, but much more subtle than tail wagging. With experience you start learning to read their moods as with any other pet.
LCMcG
*Body
SLITHERS
I think he meant "buddy"
Superfastsheep
They are a more or less head-shy.
cattlecrazy
Agreed. My ball python hates it if anyone touches his head. He can touch you, but good forbid it's the other way around.
LCMcG
It depends on the owner, really. Only my rescue is even remotely head-shy.
DorthLous
Got 2 corn snakes rescues. They are still warming up to me, more trusting tomorrow than yesterday.
Superfastsheep
I take good care of mine and she has never tried to harm anyone but if you get near her head she flinches. ...(1/2)
Superfastsheep
(2/2) I think it might differ from a snake to another.
LCMcG
I didn't mean to imply negligence or offend at all and I do definitely agree that the snake's personality definitely plays a part.