Coconut Crab, the Mother of Nopes.

Aug 8, 2015 8:56 AM

GrouchyMarx

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544786

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13330

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225

The fear itself

The Coconut Crab. This fucking thing. I live thousands of miles away from its natural enviroment, and I still check under my bed every night in fear of these things. Fuck your spiders and other light-weights, THIS is the ultimate nope. It's by far the largest land-dwelling arthropod in the world, as well as of the biggest known land animal with an exoskeleton. Likely it's the largest such creature in the planets recent athmospheric history. It can weigh 4.1 kg (9.0 lb) and grow up to a fucking meter (3 ft 3 in) from leg to leg. Jesus Christ that's terrifying. Just look at it.

From the depths of hell

It lives on the islands across the Indian Ocean and on parts of Pacific Ocean, and is found on mainland of Australia and Madagascar. I'm assuming they came here from either Mars after eating up everyone in there, or Hell, after Satan got too scared of being around them.

Evil incarnate

Coconut crabs have organs called branchiostegal lungs, which they use for breathing instead of gills. They can't swim and will drown if they're in the water for too long. That is why I recommend sinking every damn island between the eastern shore line of Africa all the way up to the western shore of South America as well as quarantining Australia. We must not let evil prevail.

Worldeaters

They have an acute sense of smell which they use to find food. I'm also pretty sure they can smell my fear from half-way around the globe. Officially they feed on fruits, nuts, seeds and pith, but also "other organic material". I'd like to remind you all that humans are organic. Babies are organic. These things basically feed on babies.
They're also famous for eating coconuts. They actually climb in trees to drop them down.
They can climb. You're not safe even if you live in a top-floor apartment.

Lurking in the shadows

Juvenile crabs use gastropod shells for protection similar to Hermit Crabs, but adults develop a tough exoskeleton and stop carrying a shell around. As adults, they live alone in solitude underground and in rock crevices, stalking for humans and coconuts. They dig their burrows in damp soil and stay hidden during the day to avoid the heat. But during the night, they feast on human brains! And fruits. Fruits and brains. Mostly fruits. They also surface on rain to avoid drowning.

Wondrous death

They have no natural enemies other than themselves and humans. It's hunted for its meat and it's rare on populated islands for this reason. Its existence is threathened in some areas due to excessive hunting. And seriously, despite it being a scary-ass motherfucker, it isn't evil. It's more neutral. Likely chaotic neutral. It's harmless to us and it's actually a really interesting and wonderful animal, as long as it stays the fuck away from me.

Educate yourselves

If you want to read more on the Coconut Crab, start here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab

Also, I've done more of these posts. You can find them in my submissions. The previous one was the Devil's Flower Mantis: http://imgur.com/gallery/rCZnv/

Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I went from ahhhh mother of god!!!!! To oh noez it's endangered :(

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

+1 for Mars/Hell origin theories

11 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

i thought y'all would think they were cute...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

'Found on main land Australia' fuck you OP. I gotta deal with these sucker now too? Haven't I got enough trying to kill me?

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

Evidence shows once found on mainland Australia. Not here now but they are on Christmas Island which, if advertised, could stop the boats ;)

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Our government is already bribing human traffickers to just, not bring them.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They basically eat babies.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Dod-a-chock?

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Ded-a-check?

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

*pictures frightened humans and coconuts huddling together behind rocks as this thing lumbers past*

11 years ago | Likes 118 Dislikes 1

This doesn't have enough upvotes

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

But how fast does it move? Pretty important.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Did-a-chik?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The ones with the blue shells are actually quite pretty.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Face the thing that should not be...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I always upvote HP Lovecraft. Also Cthulu nopes.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Expect that these things are real, and worse than anything Lovecraft can create with his distorted mind

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

CORPSER! All aboard the COLLEE TRAAAIIIIN!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fuck yes.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Glorious Lovecraftian references. Fuck. Yes.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

They're kinda cute.

11 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

I find it not scary because its big. I can see where it is. Thus im not risking stepping on it or sitting on it accidentally.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Like I kinda want to pet it and feed it mangoes? Is that just me?

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I want one as a pet.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Found the infiltrated coconut crab.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I completely agree.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Informative and hilarious. You have kind of a "true facts about" feel that I love. Keep up the good work OP.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It may look scary, but that doesn't mean you should kill it. :)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Of course not. Purposefully exaggerated fear for comedic purposes. I'd never harm an animal willingly.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I disagree with your assessment here OP, these are just a real life pokemon.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Kingler is a giant NOPE

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey, Pokémon can be scary as fuck. Imagine meeting a wild Jynx in the nature. In their mating season.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

A valid argument once you've seen the artwork of "realistic pokemon", most are downright things out of nightmares.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If you know Dookieshed, your posts remind me of his "____ will F*** you up" series

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm drunk off my face. it's a bad idea to be scrolling through imager at this time... it'll be in I'm night mares.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

This comment started off so good and then it just got confusing.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I lived in Guam for a couple years and let me tell ya.... They are terrifying. You run into them randomly.

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Guam? +1 for you!

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I lived there too and they never scared me. They were always calm when i spotted them on hikes. They don't really mess with people much.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Still terrifying though. I like how the keep them as pets haha.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As a player of many RPGs, this mention of random encounters has me wondering what kind of loot they drop.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Limbs they have severed from their enemies probably.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Your lifeless (and now brainless) corpse.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

prolly armor and weapons from the slain heroes they consumed earlier.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Most notably hunted for their Mudcrab Chitin, used to restore the stamina of local islanders.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Remember kids: They may or may not have eaten Amelia Earharts body when she washed up on shore on a remote island.

11 years ago | Likes 279 Dislikes 4

Yes, but poor Amelia just as likely swam to shore bleeding and was attacked. The attack injured animals viciously.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

SCREW YOU I WAS ALREADY SPOOKED ENOUGH

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

wait wat

11 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

I like this game: Remember, they may or may not have eaten a young Adolf Hitler's body, and terrorized the world in his skin suit.

11 years ago | Likes 99 Dislikes 1

They may or may not have helped the Egyptians to build the pyramids.

11 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 1

The pyramids may or may not be a giant complex oven that ancient Egyptians used to bake pizza rolls with.

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

They may or may not have used the pyramids, like juvenile crabs use gastropod shells for protection.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

they may or may not see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

The may or may not have been one of the actual 7 plagues

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Really covers all the possibilities there.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

*mindBlown*

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Largest? Isn't there a Japanese Spider Crab that's about half as tall as a human?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but they are aquatic, not land dwelling as the OP specified.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Must have missed that bit, just that it was the largest (science-word).

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

MrEsturk already answered you, but he said what I was going to say. Also, the spider crab is on my list, I'm going to feature it eventually.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's it! Those thing look fucking terrifying.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

yea, fuck that

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aw it's endangered? I wanted to eat it :(

11 years ago | Likes 332 Dislikes 22

Not endangered. Eat away my good friend.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Coconut crab tacos!!!

11 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Just buy a regular crab, boil it in coconut oil

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

It's endangered? GOOD! Fucking dinosaur bugs is what those are. I am TERRIFIED.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

+1 for dinosaur bugs. Voice of your generation.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Should be possible. Just contact your local dentist for assistance

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I have eaten them. Delicious.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Found the dentist

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Mmmmm dipped in butter

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cocpnuts and crabs are both food!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's not endangered, check the link. It just tastes good and people eat them.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 5

" In the absence of precise information the IUCN lists the species as Data Deficient."

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Which gives it no protected status. Definitely not considered endangered.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Spoken like a true human.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've been to an island called Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean. They don't get that big there, but they are everywhere like ants.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm imagining it would taste coconutty :) mmm...coconut crab... *homer drool*

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then eat as many as you want, we need less of these.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Endangered? Damn. They're all over my island during full moon (when we hunt it :D). So yum!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I'm not convinced werecrabs aren't a factor here.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Most things people enjoy eating are endangered.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Yeah, last time I was at a zoo I looked all over for the pig and chicken exhibits. Apparently they're so endangered the zoo couldn't get any

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Yeah, let me just emphasize something....MOST THINGS

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Most fish we eat are not nearly endangered nor are deer, elk, moose, shellfish.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Except the things we eat the most...cows, pigs, chickens...

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

...sheep, goats, turkey...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Time to start a crab farm.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Much less of a nope than anything I have seen in Australia

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Honestly, it's the really really big stuff, and the tiny tiny stuff that's dangerous here. Not the stuff you can easily speer.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hahaha I like your username!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?

11 years ago | Likes 118 Dislikes 4

This is the thread I'm looking for.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dammit, you beat me to it. Thankee Sai :taps throat:

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

Long days and pleasant nights to you, sai.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Pretty sure King was inspired by these creatures when writing the lobstrosities

11 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

You know, I just started reading The Dark Tower last week. Just in time to upvote you. :)

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

I laughed i cried.. its awesome!! :D

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Definitely made my day!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ka is like a wheel.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I always find my people in a Dark Tower thread.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I wasn't expecting to find this comment, so glad I did

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

those things were terrifying

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Long days and pleasant nights to you sai.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

First thing I thought of and then started crying because the fucking things actually exist!! Where's Roland when you need him?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure that Roland is the one you want to bring out when these guys are involved, though.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You're right. I have forgotten the face of my father.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Marry me.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Ah, a fellow Oklahoman

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes indeed!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And also, already married. Sorry to burst your bubble.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Whoa, slow down mom. The only way you could burst my bubble is if you weren't truly Oklahoman.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like how it got all nice and positive in the end. +1

11 years ago | Likes 2185 Dislikes 7

I like how they taste.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 5

Just like Freddy Mercury.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

Me too! I was gonna be all 'but..but... endangered species....' and he did it for me

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Despite being MASSIVE SPIDERS WITH EXOSKELETONS AND CLAWS I think they're p cool.

11 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 1

Yeah, I was glad OP added that because they ARE endangered and should be allowed to live their awful-looking lives in peace.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"as long as it stays the fuck away from me." And then there's that! :p

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Yeah. Nice and positive and I'm sure really interesting AS LONG AS YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY YOU HELLMONSTERS

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Seems a bit suspicious. Blink twice if they are holding you hostage OP.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Congress tart.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It makes sense now. Deploy SEAL team six.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Positive? You mean neutral, right?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Probably got a threatening letter from some crab crime family

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Almost

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like "stalking for humans and coconuts".

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't have read if it wasn't for you thx

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Fuckkkk, fuck them, fuck it, we're all fucked! Jk they coo."

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I loved how it went from all doom to 'they're not so bad'.

11 years ago | Likes 201 Dislikes 0

They will eat your babies. But they will do it neutrally.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's not true! The coconut crabs got to OP and are holding him at clawpoint.

11 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 0

no. i'm juSt fine. EverythiNg is okay. Doing well. notHing to worry about. thEy're nice and wouLd never harm People.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

poople

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They're actually really cool. I mean look at it. I want one.

11 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

Me too. Kinda more than a dog.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i actually would like to have one, i know it will take me a lot of time not to feel fear of it, but eventually i would get use to it and 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

2/2 finally be able to smash it fucking hard to the ground and cookit and eat it as the savage i am

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I want six of them to pull my war chariot, and thus I shall conquer.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

They should add that to the next Mad Max!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Am I weird for finding it kind of cute?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I propose a project to investigate the feasibility of Coconut Crab domestication.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. They look really cool!

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I mostly want to eat one. I mean seriously - it's crab that feeds on coconuts. How can it not be delicious?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Everyone remembers what to do about giant enemy crabs right?

11 years ago | Likes 282 Dislikes 1

Subscribe to PSN?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We attack with melted butter, crab crackers and white wine?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fus-Ro-Dah?

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Blame it on my ex

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Eat them

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

shoot an arrow in its one eye when it opens, three times.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Make sure to watch the sides for its claw attacks though. You have to jump when the pincers open

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

THROW THE CHEESE!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kill it with fire?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ITS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME! URGH CRAB BATTLE..BROKE MY KNIFE

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yell out "Not today!" And run?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

BEAT THEM WITH THEIR OWN KIND?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes of course, but what do you do about giant friendly crabs?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

LET THIS BE OUR FINAL BATTLE

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

buy a very fine comb and let the last person you slept with know about them

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Use scissors and snip behind the eye stalks. This kills the crab.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Make giant crabcakes?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Real-time ... weapon change?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Attack its weak spot. For MASSIVE DAMAGE.

11 years ago | Likes 179 Dislikes 0

Shit. They know my secrets

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out. (Seriously though, can you believe that was 9 years ago??)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yes and I was 7 when it happened, which shows how much I lack a social life. lol

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Use my enchanted bow to capture its soul.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Don't forget to collect that chitin!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Value to weight ratio doesn't make it worth it :(

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pump Head&Shoulders up their cloacas?

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

"It's for my ass."

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If this is a reference, i dont know it, but want sauce.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

It was a ridiculous movie called Evolution (2001) starring Julianne Moore and David Duchovny. I don't even remember if the big bad (1)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Looked like a crab, but it immediately came to mind. (2/2)

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ridiculous? How dare you. And it was a hovering amorphous blog iirc

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Blob* ffs

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eat all of them! Humans are worse than crabs!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Circular saw blade + Gravity Gun?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Take them out to dinner, seduce them, interbreed and then murder the babies in front of the crab?

11 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

Do you want crab people? Because that's how you get crab people.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did I mention the murdering the babies part? I'm pretty sure I did. There will be no evidence except a heartbroken crab mother.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've only been doing the first three. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

But the most pleasure comes from number 4. Get serious about it already!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Which game have YOU been playing...?

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Obviously ones which are too amazing to even exist.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

CRAB BATTLE!!

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Those claws could rip a tank apart!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Counter balance the knife, quick slash, retract...

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

er..urgh..broke my knife

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

OLIOLIOLIOLIOOOOOO!!

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

It's... Some kind of cave demon!

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

It got my knife!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ha! Glad to see I'm not the only one

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Amazing.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I live in Guam and came upon this little guy. Yes, that's a WD-40 cap that he's calling "home"! http://imgur.com/GBjLtkw

11 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 1

He's so cute!

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Dang, I'd have brought him home and called him scooby. And raised my own personal terror crab

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Would work a hell of a lot better at terrorizing enemies.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hello fellow Guamie

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Hafa adai!

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What village are you from?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A fellow Guamie!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hafa adai!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Aww... I lived in Saipan. We used to call the ones with "houses" little Nomads :)

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I haz a buckit

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

NOOOOOOOPE!!!!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was in the Navy on Guam in the mid 1970's. We used to eat those bad boys at a friend's place over in Canada Barrigada. bad spelling, I know

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Do they taste good? :o

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

sorry for the late reply. they were delicious!!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm curious as to what they taste like since they don't spend any time in salt water

11 years ago | Likes 806 Dislikes 8

Every time I see a post about these bastards I wonder that.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They taste like heaven.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

They're sooo delicious!! Especially when mom cooks em! Ugh miss island food for days

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Taste like crab, walk like people...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I spent 16 months on Guam, they taste like coconut flavored crab.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

apparently they are kind of sweet

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That's... Actually a really intelligent, well-informed point.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bug meat

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

According to Andrew Zimmern their meat is sweet and delicious. If I ever saw one, I'd chase it down with a big ass pot.

11 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

I suggest cleaning the pot thouroughly to avoid a the taste of ass when cooking the crab.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You'd be better off chasing it with a net there, Mr. Fudd.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Lol. True. I do lack a cauldron. Sorry. The Asian in me saw a big ol crab and got all excited. :)

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They taste fuckin DELICIOUS. I grew up my entire life on an island & those things are great to eat but man you gotta kno how to raise'em 1st

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They taste like crab, and talk like people. Crab people.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're fucking delicious, especially if you cook it in coconut soup!!

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

Yes! I miss coconut soup :(

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They taste great! My Dad used to tie their legs & let us practice catching them... Safety first, little wildlings :)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They taste like a combo of brains, babies, and coconuts. mostly coconuts.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've heard people will keep them for a month or so feeding them nothing but coconut or whatever fruit to have the best meal ever!

11 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

That's true, the fruit and coconut sweetens their meat. It's so good!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It got the meal of its life, for its life

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's horrible. Raining an animal who unknowingly is going to be eaten.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 36

I think it'd be horrible if the animal, somehow, knew it was going to be eaten the whole time. But otherwise, ignorance is bliss

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

That's pretty much every animal we eat.

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Pretty sweet deal for the crab. Full month of eating like a king. The dying part sucks.

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

This kills the crab

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

On an unrelated thing, would you like to come to my house for a month of free food?

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Truth be told, they probably don't have the mental capacity to understand. They're arthropods. They have only ganglia, and no brain.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

That's hard for me to comprehend. So they're basically just going through the necessary motions of survival from birth until death?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They don't think it be like this, but it do. (They may actually have rudimentary cognition, but its likely completely dissimilar to ours.)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

They are delicious!! Even if you don't like crab or lobster you will love these. They are like a milder, sweeter, coconuty crab.

11 years ago | Likes 193 Dislikes 5

But eat sparingly or where they are farmed cause we want to let these bad boys stick around for a long time

11 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 0

"Nah! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM" -Japan

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

What if you don't like crab, lobster or coconuts?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Just means more for me!!!!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Then you're dead to me

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

i don't like wearing pants anyway, so i'm ok with that.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Refer to above comment

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And also since the apparently eat babies and brains. Cannibalism is illegal in most countries, so this could be a good proxy method.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So we'll introduce a middle man?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No, that would defeat the whole point. A middle CRAB, though? Oh, yes, now we're in business.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've heard they taste like crab AND coconut

11 years ago | Likes 481 Dislikes 2

Fo shizzle?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

oh man....sounds awesome

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I would be all for farming them if they wouldn't just escape and then murder everything. They sound delicious.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And brain

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lol I thought you were joking

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So. Craconut?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeh they do, very sweet meat - i grew up in south west pacific, had one of these rip end of my shoe off once, got my foot out quick...

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

@motherfuckingjesus

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I had the pleasure of trying some while I was stationed on Guam, can confirm. Like sweeter crab meat, it's amazing!

11 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

as a east coaster....that sounds like heaven

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They are pretty endangered though :(

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

damn :( I guess I'll just stick w blue crabs and old bay

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And babies.

11 years ago | Likes 234 Dislikes 1

Definitely babies.

11 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 0

And fruit.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't forget the fruit

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Virgin babies.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

......There's always one that takes it a step too far.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

But.... the alternative is.... Oh... You're the one...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure I know what babies taste like.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Let me tell you all about it then!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They taste like they smell.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Delicious

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Is that a "Ask that guy with the glasses" reference? If so, +1 and obligatory "Yes"

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You've missed out, my friend.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Veal, but slightly sweeter meat.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

I'm calling the police. Jk.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Great, now I'm hungry for tortured baby calf.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0