daishar08
433658
13359
150
Wait for it
Was unaware chameleons gave birth to live offspring. You learn something new everyday!
Sep 27, 2015 1:39 AM
daishar08
433658
13359
150
Was unaware chameleons gave birth to live offspring. You learn something new everyday!
cheesedogs
Well here I thought I've seen it all
ReputedPig
At first I was like "eww", and then "why am I still watching poop slide down a plant", and finally " awwww"
Bonejoints
It's the ciirrccllee of liffee!
alvasalrey
This is as interesting as it is disgusting lol
stylemongrel
Life...uhhh...finds a way.
SSjay
You're missing about 2-3 uhhs in there.
QueenCousland
For some reason, it delights me that the egg yolk is visible.
SGRogers
OH MY GOD I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CONSTIPATED FROM THAT DEEP INHALE. AAH. BABY CHAMELEON.
flashblazerx
First I thought it was pooping, then I thought it had laid an egg, the sweet baby jesus its a live baby chameleon! 10/10 nature, you awesome
yumyums
Mobile phone user here still waiting
JockMcSting
Wow....8 hours ago. You poor mobile users sure do have it bad.
GrimEnding
10/10 was not expecting
jbrew44
I love that look at the end like "I have no idea what I'm doing"
TheFreeMarket
When I watched it again, the ending was hilarious thanks to your comment, acute observer.
yomamaondeeznutz
my thoughts during these gifs, "cool a chamele.... is that a dic.. nope its poop.... AWWWWWWWWEEEEE ISS A BEBE MELEON"
potatiekatie
no biggie, just pooping out a baby.
Da3n
Precocious little scamp, ain't he?
KittenWaffler
Shit was litterally coming out of my ass while I watched this.
TheOne2466
Same here. However I didn't wait for it to come alive. Flushed it!!
QueenCousland
You're why there are alligators in the sewers.
MrSilverDragon
Some chameleons have live birth, others lay eggs. It depends on the species of chameleon. (says the one who has 67 of the currently)
MrSilverDragon
Oh, and +1 for chameleons, because... chameleons.
nedminsane
DAWWWW
Quizz25S
That is simultaneously the coolest and most disgusting thing I've seen all day.
wzarya
eww ohh aww
kjb72
That was the gamut of my emotions.
MySockHurts
More like Oh OH oh ok oh mhm ok Oh OH GOD OHHHH GODD OHHHHHHH MYYYY GOD oh oh my god hm wow
ColoradoSky
I honestly thought it had a retractable dick
mustconsistoflettersandnumbersonly
Loool at your choice to not see it as an extendable dick, but rather, a retractable :D
donniehonnie
They do, actually. I think they're called hemipenes or something along that line. Mine would rub his on my hand, which is pretty gross.
oblivionator
Coma coma coma coma coma come on that's awesome!
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Nice reference. It's Karma Chameleon, though.
oblivionator
Ya I know ;) also you were at 0 points, so back to 1 you go!!
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Thanks. It is kind of a silly correction. I probably deserve the down vote.
oblivionator
Lol! I didn't think you did! It's an honest correction; what if I didn't know that? Then you would have informed me; sharing is caring! :)
Avarara
You are amazingly positive! Keep it up! Spread the joy!
Xenurine
Not all chameleons give live births, most lay clutches of eggs. Jackson's chameleons are another example of this.
TheIkeaMonkey
What the fuck
panzersharkcat
Tiny deathclaws!
Frady
Not quite as scary though.
buttobviousfacts
That's understandable considering Jackson's chameleons are part of the Avengers initiative.
Xenurine
Source: my home is a reptile exhibit.
FazeRitz
Are you an iguana?
Murrdogg
pictures! (and stories/facts/info? :D )
MatureNavajoBitches
Keeper of said reptiles here (and SO to Xenurine :D), we've got 8 different species at the moment, totaling around 40 animals. 1/?
MatureNavajoBitches
Currently, most of that number is made up of baby snakes (Kenyan Sand Boas; Eryx colubrinus) that I bred this year. 2/?
MatureNavajoBitches
But some of our other species include Cordylus beraduccii, Riopa fernandi (Fire Skink), Ambystoma mexicanum (Axolotl), 3/?
HairLoopies
OK, but when they do, what happens when there isn't a leaf there to catch them?
MatureNavajoBitches
They hit the bottom of the cage/forest floor, which is common and natural. The babies are typically unaffected by this fall.
Xenurine
Truth ^^
JanellaBean
I think you two just found a herp soulmate.
Xenurine
Well that works out perfectly seeing as I already live with this guy
Xenurine
Well people who keep chameleons *should* know to be providing them with adequate foliage, but most female chams stay near the bottom of 1/2
Xenurine
their enclosure while laying their young and some even require you to make a little sand or dirt patch for them to lay in to
FemaleINTJ
So this one was being a bad mother and climbing really high?
MatureNavajoBitches
No, not really. Sometimes, if the fall isn't from a high enough height, the baby won't awaken and will require assistance.
APepeADay
My pet chameleon passed away this evening. RIP Steve, you will be missed.
BYERE
Sorry to hear that :( *hugs*
KZFDG
His name was Steve (Chameleon).
ThattBiggie
To Steve.
beedude
Dexter will set aside a cricket in his honor.
52tele
I had two Veiled Chameleons name Chamele and Leon. They were awesome pets. Sorry for your loss bro.
amorgan1
How old and what type? Just wondering. Sorry for your loss.
kreyll
o7
RichardLew
Just wondering but what do you do with a pet when they pass away? I don't really feel like throwing them away
IUpvoteYourCatPics
Bury them. I had a kitten pass away recently, we buried her with her favorite pillow. It helps for grieving too.
RyanDog99
I had to bury my chameleon last week :(. I didn't want to throw him in the garbage, so I put him in a jewelry box on top of his favourite1/2
RyanDog99
Leaves and buried him in my backyard 2/2
ohlalaohlala
We have a whole section of our garden designed to pet burial. With little wooden crosses and everything
TarynnosaurusRex
That's creepy and cool at the same time. Just hope you don't have the same events as "Pet Cemetery".
ohlalaohlala
*designated
TarynnosaurusRex
You can either take them to the vet, where they can take them or have them cremated them for you. Or you can bury them. We buried my (1/2)
TarynnosaurusRex
(2/2) cat in our backyard wrapped in his blanket with his absolute favourite toys. No Egyptian pharaoh ever had a better burial.
kadaeux
Thank the gods for the (2/2) mate.... for a second I thought you were saying you buried your half of a pet. And was like... "dude. Not cool"
InGoatWeTrust
Wow. mom doesn't give a flying fuck.
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
It's called "Ovoviviparity", where the mother does have eggs inside of her, but they are practically just membranes that come off at birth
kreyll
I learned a thing today.
F0rger
I was going to say it looks like she gave birth to the amniotic sac and the baby broke out of.
Verifay
Seems like an intermediate step between laying eggs like reptiles and live birth like mammals.
oneillwith2ls
Tmyk. Thanks and +1
JackFoxEsq
White sharks are the same.
hawkinat0r
A few snakes as well.
somethingwittybutnotvulgar
Thanks - I was going to post this. But I really didn't want to look up the spelling. Hah!
IAMNOTYOURTIA
Ew. But still so cool.
Stuebydoo
TIL Chameleons are mammals :)
snarkybat
Actually, mammals are recognized by the way they feed their young with milk glands (except platypi and echidnas).
Stuebydoo
Do they not have nipples then?
snarkybat
I did some research, and I realised my mistake. Yes, they do produce milk, the laying-egg-thing they do is because they are monotreme.
Stuebydoo
Still pretty amazing, I'm sure they could use something like this in a scifi film, it's cool but gross.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Humans are so bad at being babies.
PersonalityFire
And chameleons are bad at being parents! They don't stick around to rear their young in the slightest.
DrantonMason
Babies' brains are about the size of a smooth potato because the pregnant can't actually push out a baby with a larger brain. Hence the dumb
PhiIIipJFry
Humans are amazing at being babies, the whole point of being a baby is growing which is how we get so great at stuff.
neondemonn
I read somewhere babies are able to crawl/wiggle up to their mothers breast immediately after birth.
rivenwhistle
They are! It's called the breast crawl and usually takes half an hour to an hour, but when placed on mom's stomach immediately after 1/2
amglasgow
Not as bad as bear babies.
Sexlexic
Yea that little guy popped out and was already on the move, never even seen a leaf before but knows to grab it
Stronghans
Also kangaroos aren't much better.
thecolonels
But we can do calculus, decent trade off.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Eventually. And only some of us.
TGWeaver
A lot of mammals are worse. Humans can open their eyes and go to the bathroom on their own, some small mammals can't.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
How does an animal that can't go to the bathroom handle that part?
pirtunen
Humans are bad with lots of other stuff, too.
SirStylus
They are also pretty comparatively bad at HAVING babies. I mean she just poops that dude out and goes about her business.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
I appreciate that you just called humans 'they'.
tbhi
Well, how many chameleons do you think use imgur?
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Probably at least one.
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
We traded developed babies for bipedalism. Compared to other apes our infants are born 3 months premature so their heads fit the pelvis.
Stronghans
A infants cry can reach 120 decibels which is damaging for humans. Also our brains take Twenty or more years to fully develop.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
At least human babies have a way to immediately get food. At 120 dB, in going to sit that up as quickly as I can.
dReDone
To be fair were pretty bad at being adults as well.
rasmis
That settles it! Children should be born in the top of a tree. If they can't hold on, they aren't fit enough.
Hiromagi
Remember the Spartans? They used to throw kids in a barrel; if they drowned they were weak. If they lived they were warriors. We need this.
Wi1boWaggins
Notice how the Spartans are no longer a civilization.
FFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK
Why are we not founding this?
rasmis
People for Eugenically Prioritised Societies International! I can't imagine pepsi.org is taken.
BeardKhan
Do you want a race of inbred retarded strong hairless monkeys?
SatanicSpirals
Have you ever been to West Virginia...?
Flaronix
I heard there's a correlation between the time it takes for something, human or animal, to develop and its intelligence. Longer = Smarter
klonkomatic9
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoteny
AFSamizdat
To add: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altricial
LizardEnterprises
This is true, but we're like, the *best* at being adults.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
Heh. Yes we are.
loveleebandit
The most interesting idea to me is how humans love and care for their children vs other speedos
RandomAbscessMemories
Upvoting for speedos.
loveleebandit
Or. Um. Species.
AndromedaNichole
I'm terrible at caring for my speedos.
jonbenwaa
It's true. I love my speedos.
robogeek78
I don't love my speedos... I like my speedos... But I love my Prada backpack.
jonbenwaa
Lol! You good people, @robogeek78
Vikaryous
Blame our giant egg-heads.
ragekritz
this is basically one of the reasons we value education and passing on knowledge blessing in disguise.
EatMyPricklyPear
True, that's why the first 3 months of human life is known as the 'fourth trimester'
Bugofbelgium
More a thing because we walk upright though.
UnassumingAscotCap
No, it's because our brains are much larger than they need be to operate our bodies. Extra power is used for social & intellectual function.
tankmemes
But it does become much more problematic once you involve walking upright
PlanSomethingFromBellsLabs
Bugofbelgium isn't wrong, walking upright means a narrow pelvis compared to quardrupedal animals.
Bugofbelgium
And yet wouldn't be an issue if we were quadrupedal.
Millillion
It's an unfortunate necessity.
mutuallyassureddeduction
But is it really? :-(
MySockHurts
What if we got dumber? Would that help with birth?
luminiferousbeanbutts
4 pre-mature worm-babies in exchange for mobility. yay! tmyk!
luminiferousbeanbutts
3 birth like other 4-legged mammals) but then we wouldnt be able to walk/move properly/efficiently on 2 legs. so now we give birth to
luminiferousbeanbutts
1 yup! we gave up the ability to birth functional newborns to become bipedal; human babies are basically all born premature to allow humans
BhawbTheMagnificent
Yes. It is fairly hard to fit our gigantic fucking heads through a birthing canal, so we have to be birthed less developed.
blainetog
It is unless we, like, triple in size. Or do you think you could fire out a toddler from your vagina?
thesparkledshark
I was just reading about this! If our babies were older, we wouldn't be able to birth them, and Mom and baby would die.
luminiferousbeanbutts
the ability to walk upright, otherwise we would need much wider hips to birth toddler-sized humans (which would be able to function upon
pronacc
I don't know, congress is pretty good at it.
LikeTotallyNotTheNSA
hahaha... HaHaHaHaHa...HAHAHAHAHAA
MinYoongiChonJaeJjangJjangmanbboongbboong
HEYO
StuckInBetweeen
There's a huge study to this actually. There are terms I've forgotten. Animal babies are often born with their max capacity of knowledge /1
StuckInBetweeen
due their low brain capacity. Also they have to fend for themselves immediately so they afford the time to learn and understand info. /2
VrryBurntpork
Note that this isn't true of all animals.
StuckInBetweeen
Most mammals are similar to us actually.
VrryBurntpork
Most? I didn't realize that.
StuckInBetweeen
as their parents cannot afford to spend too much time to raise them. Humans on the other time have plenty of support from their societies /3
StuckInBetweeen
to actually raise their young. Due to our ability to provide and protect them, they can afford to spend much more time maturing and learning
StuckInBetweeen
thus explaining why their knowledge and ability is so lacking at birth.
StuckInBetweeen
tldr; humans can afford to raise young and let them develop = dumb. Most animals can't = baby not dumb dumb.
FireBreathingFerret
Just drops her baby out of a freaking tree
juliburunda
I was just about to say "how do you know it's a "her"?. I'm not a smart person.
Witlesswolf
It always gets to me how other animals when born are like "Whoa, I'm alive! Better start doing shit." But it takes people years.
BeeExpert
Its because of our brain to body ratio. Head would be too big to fit through if we waited any longer so we come out underdeveloped
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
I heard somewhere that humans should technically stay in the womb for 18 months or something but it's not biologically possible.
thunderingthighs
As the mother of a toddler, they definitely do shit.
Witlesswolf
That was punny! Congrats on the toddler.
TheodoreHelios
Yeah, what @tastyfart said. The only reason we're so useless when we're born is that our brains are fucking huge.
Frady
Yea, let's use this to justify our slow acceleration.
thetruthisoutthere
Not all animals are born ready - many birds and all primates require extensive parental care. Orang-utans 7+ years!
Witlesswolf
Neat!
kittybuttwiggle
Read that as many birds and all pringles. I need sleep.
CreQ
Humans: 23+!
LavaAxe
You're optimistic. I like that.
MyDogIsSmarterThanYourHonorsStudent
Seriously. He falls out and starts climbing shit. Our babies come out and just lay in shit
ThisIsNetsu
Our babies also later are able to build probes that take high resolution pictures of Pluto. There's a tradeoff to everything :)
MyDogIsSmarterThanYourHonorsStudent
Sometimes. Other times they sit at home in apathy living off welfare.
revelator
Humans are born early in their development. Women can't get a more developed brain to fit through the vagina... Well, except for your mom.
Witlesswolf
Well, this is awkward. I was born via cesarean.
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
(Honorary) nephew had to be born via cesarean. Inherited his dad's big head. Too big for her pelvis. Bestie's hubby broke his mom's pelvis.
Witlesswolf
yikes.
SoftLineSketches
Totally thought i was watching a chameleon poop...
Dankie
See you're smart. I thought i was watching a lizard poop
CuriousCoconut
holy crap....what if there were no leaves below to catch the baby?!?
roonmian
Well, since it's the same orifice you might say they poop out their offspring.
Zhadan
I thought it was some sort of horrific parasitic shit, but then I was like...hm, why is the asshole in the front?
VaginaOrchard
We too, brother. We too.
iPretend
I was upset about it for a while. "Damnit imgur! This... This is just gr- OMG miracle of life!"
thenaftermidnight
Me too.. & I watched.. Reason??? Dafuk?!?
98Problems
That's exactly what it is. Chameleon level 100.
Rosey02
I was so focused on his ribs i didn't even notice the poop
peaceloveandgraffiti
Poop...Fucky looking poop...Wait.. Is..is that a fetus?!?! Well, shit...
Vaanhalen
I thought it was going to be something about the giant vagina on the side of the chameleon
LetsGetThisOverWith
Same.
AdorableTinyKitties
Same..
RiftRaptor
MRW to this post
Fancyrobot101
Yup
dagg3r
I didn't realize there were more gifs
quicktochuckle
I assumed Imgur was taunting me and my constipated ways. Drank a baking soda solution maybe 30 min ago to help the cause... wish me luck.
viila
Isn't that for problems in the other end: indigestion and heartburn? Base solution to neutralize the stomach acid.
BigsBonny
Good luck with your expulsion of fecal matter.
JDeverson
Hope everything comes out okay.
CaffeinatedNecromancer
Look at a container if Epsom salts for a laxative recipe, it's VERY effective
quicktochuckle
I didn't have any on hand, otherwise Epsom salt is what I recommend too. Works almost alarmingly well.
SmartAssRN
Or warm prune juice with melted butter. We call 'em a Mississippi Mudslide.
quicktochuckle
Ha!! That's hilarious. How much of each?
EnmityKnight
1 word. Fiber.
castawayisland
Milk of magnesia works wonders for that
Ttaptt
I hope a baby chameleon comes out of you!
Pinkitty
miralax does wonders
Galdornae
ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF "POOP OR BABY?"
AmArschdieRaeuber
should be real
FrauBlucher
Some poor soul would get to FP collecting and posting this
MongrelArchitect
Or the Chameleon's version of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.
Canadiandustbin
I thought it was an erection. Then a poop. Then I realized what I was looking at.
CuntyLinguist
OMG me 2
diggetydug
My exact train of thought. +1
CreepyPhlox
Me toooo! I was like Omg! then Eww! then Why is this person so intent on filming chameleon poop? then finally Awwww!
yoruichisan
I went through that whole chain of thought too
Fancyrobot101
And yup
JoeToast
snap
TotallyOriginalName
"That's a dick....wait, no. That's a shi.......ohhhhh"
NotACop1515IsMyAgeNotACop
Thats not a shit.... its little shit.
MostIndeedlySo
We name him... Shit-Dick!
NotACop1515IsMyAgeNotACop
Is that some kind of gay slur?
tiduszecht
opcomrade