StonedLikeACheatingMuslimWoman
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I like reminders to be kind to yourself that are phrased this way. It's easy to be an asshole to yourself, and applying that inner monologue to others really shows how bullshit it is.
ElegantKitty
I know it's not good to call myself useless and stuff, but I can't help it at the moment. Bleh.
ImgurLurkerAlsoYourBushes
Yeah I am pretty sure my friends say just as bad shit to me as I do so yeah I am friends with people like me
cwagrant
Honestly my friends and family seem far more impressed with me than I am with me.
CityYeti
Yeah, I feel like I'm more real to myself than to anyone else if I think about it
ValiantlyFlailing
they just don't know the truth
StonedLikeACheatingMuslimWoman
My self-retort to this one is: I'm not special. Everyone else has those secret things they're ashamed of as well.
Strostkovy
A good test of character is to imagine a world where everyone is the same person, and see if that world would work at all.
KamenTenshi
People that DONT talk down to themselves are complete assholes sometimes, the fact is you need to humble yourself, but still love yourself.
Nikoli23
Well I’m a piece of shit so...
Ghobe
I hate people that are like me. But people seem to love me so...I feel like I should stay this way.
TheNax
If my friend was a useless as me, I mayhaps would deem it okay to tell them tbh.
SpookyBrewsky
Joke’s on you my friends already talk shit about me
MirTheDragon
Yes, yes i would +1
notacobra
My frienda give me far more shit than I give myself. In Australia your friends are the people who are the rudest to you, but know 'the line'
Burgerdan2Tall
Who'd you think I learned it from?
OrangeFlavours
What? My friends are total assholes, this changes nothing.
ScottLHolmes
Heck yes. All my friends pretend to like me too.
samtherat6
fuck
IronicUsername
Shit, I wish I had a friend like me.
leetshoe
Yeah. l love myself
hakunathefucknot
Me too
xj4low
Don't know. I'm kind of a selfish asshole.
YoureMyBrotherBear
Wish I had a friend like you
StopStaringAtMyPetMidget
That sounds conceded. But I thought about how I treat other people, I thought WHY THE FUCK CANT SOMEONE TREAT ME LIKE ME. Wanna be friends?
Grizabellakat007
I have a sweet friend who says "Don't talk about my friend that way!" when I'm down on myself.
DonaldFuck
Treat that friend good.
NoTheCommentIsBelow
Probably, I speak to myself like holy fuck you messed up here, Oh holy fucking hell you can do that, that's awesome, nothing Horrible Really
blooregardqkazoo
Well the my friends are just as negative, sarcastic and self-deprecating as I am. So yeah, probably.
DARfuckinROCKS
I literally texted my friend "I miss your stupid fuckin face you piece of shit" That's how I show love.
Gizmodian
Same. I'm an asshole, but I think I'm a hilarious asshole. So yeah, I'd be friends with me.
youdontknowhowtoeatmuffjohnsnow
That's how I am. My family just thinks I'm an asshole. My friends just think I'm funny
Novachair
I'm vulgar with no chill but I'm tasteful about it. People tell me I'm hilarious for some reason.
Gizmodian
Dad. Dad thinks I'm an asshole. Everyone else enjoys my satirical outlook. He and I just don't have the same sense of humor though.
pentagoninformation
Being friends with yourself is a sin.
cbjfan
If you're happy and you know it that's a sin
PeterPanPeanutButterAlert
Dancing is forbidden
CorneliusCornwall
No shellfish either
Ifuhksluhts
Redtide, boiiii
mentallychallengeaccepted
AND IF THEY DONT DANCE WELL THEY AINT NO FRIENDS OF MINE
MrBlop
They would be my best friends
AlexDuos
https://m.popkey.co/c70e8a/jr5zY.gif
LeeTheEnginee
MrScud
Yeah except you're allowed time away from people, not your shitty self.
StopStaringAtMyPetMidget
Tell that to the guy who works in a toll booth, and has a wife and 3 kids at home.
azazyel
"why yes I do think that vampires in space would be cool because you're right, they wouldn't need air"
CorneliusCornwall
Are you me?
Clitastrophe
I wrote a thing about that. A faction of undead on ships and structures on the moon without life support and other hazardous environments.
Clitastrophe
Run by a necromantic devil and a council of liches.
Yarony
I need conversations like this in my life
IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes
As long as they touch me the way I touch myself too
REDS1X
That would actually be super weird. "YOUR A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! YOU"RE JUST A BURDEN! KILL YOURSELF! Now let me give you a handjob."
IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes
Angry sex is best sex
[deleted]
[deleted]
KruziikVokunStaadnau
The bibles gay
[deleted]
[deleted]
cbjfan
Psalms chapter 69 verse 420
Acc13
Haaaa nice.
NotAmused1001
It's so hard to find a friend that rubs my balls the way I do.
MolemanForPresident
YouwontlikewhatIhavetosay
Giggity
MadMerlyn
I dunno, I think it'd be weird to have my friends scratching my asshole for me.
IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes
Don't knock it till you try it
blahblahghost
I can always do with a few more fingers in my ass.
smoothoprater
Do you also fap to your own selfies?
IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes
PeeFlow
I gave you the 1000th point... hnnnnnnnggggggg
Totallynotmyrealname
Now we're talking!
Allofyoush
No we aren't.
NotNotDeadpool
well....
Sarcasticorjustanarse
BobbyBobbston
Now we're touching!
Dartmuthia
MundaneFinality
Eh, id want my partner to be a bit gentler with me than I am with myself. Both enotionally and with handjobs.
MundaneFinality
When im getting a handjob, the goal is intimacy and prolonging pleasure. When I masturbate, im just getting the job done.
dragonNOr
Appropriate user name.
IlikeblueberrieswithcreamandpancakesSomechocolateaswell
Porn, liberal freaks, drugs, it's like all this site ever promotes is a degenerate lifestyle. Stop consuming autisme causing drugs.
TheOne11111
k
IhaveWAYtoomanyfetishes
Go back to Facebook if you don't like it
SalamanderCmndr
/s
CeleryBathtub2k19
I bet they wouldn't want to be my friends either
TheSublimelyMagnificentJechtUsernameMarkIII
I'm not stuck with being their friend
StonedLikeACheatingMuslimWoman
That's my knee-jerk reaction too. The thing that knocks me out of that circular thinking is the knowledge that I'm not special.
ChildOfThanatos13
Would be better than now, having no friends...
Andalite
I..uh..hm.
lolsosauras
I'd fuck me, I'd totally fuck me!
chimchim666
i just lost a bunch oif weight and now, eyah, i'd fuck me. we'd make sweet dirty love
SilverTimeMaker
I'd fuck me hard
SunburnHelio
Goodbye horses.
desert249
Are you about a size 14?
turkletoon
Was she a great big fat person?
technohippy
Clerks? Clerks!
ydwyrd
Silence of the Lambs.
HappinessandtheCheshireCat
I totally say that line to myself every time I put on chapstick .
SizeOfaChaffinch
Oh e oh e oh
BigHugeSmallTaco
Goodbye horseeeeeeessss
FirstWorldAnarchist
I'm cryyyyin' cryyyyin' over you.... Doo doo do do doo doo.
Keicars
Because you're the only person with low enough standards
LowFucntioningSociopath
Way to fuck it up.
Keicars
Calm down