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Edit: Full version of this at http://imgur.com/gallery/V55M4. Can't beleive I forgot to add it.
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Dog tax! Had to 69 it so here is a cute dog I found in Vietnam, or should I say Vietnom.
Credit to @tehloxely for originally gathering and posting.
Cosmic77
#4 Android Master Race m8
SerLodus
4chan stories are the best.
Worble
#1 http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/450/154/820.jpeg
Stonetaku420
i fucking lost it on #28 when they raid the aparment dressed as vikings
ihavenocloo
If anybody is going to read just one, read #20, I'm still laughing!!
RonBurgundySayingIDontBelieveYou
#11 "stoned like a muslim women"...that was great/awful.
SimZz
I work in a mall. In the warehouse part of a library. Sometimes I go smoke outside, and around noon there's always two muslim ladies 1/
FloridaMansSideKick
cheating* muslim woman
SimZz
smoking Idontknowhat. Since they look like they're hiding it. I've come to nickname them "Stoned Hijab". That reminded me of that. 2/2
Shockwaves
THEY ARE NUMBERED YOU ARE A SAINT
shknark
He could have gone to 69 but he failed is all.
PhoenixQueenAzula
Says 69 for me.
ZtZebaztian
Goes to 69 on my side.
TheConOwl
#38 is my goddamn hero.
MajorLeagueFister
BROSIEDON, KING OF BROCEAN
TheyCallMeDonnie
such a homie
WTfx
68?? Hold my beer guys, I'm going in
aceandduce
*hold's beer and takes off earnings(I think I'm doing this right)
pretendertotheironthrone
#59 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
DidYouKnowChrisPrattAdLibbedThat
I like to imagine Anon is just one man who lead a Forrest Gump-esque life..
Chirishman
Thatsthejoke.png
JacksonsDaddy
Life is like a box of cp. You never know who you're gonna get
StartedMakingTrouble
Like that (source) guy?
Dirtyconformist
Makes sense, considering theyre all kind of retarded
krmanski
Comment
GaryFreakinOak
ME TOO.
DoctorWatchamacallit
they are almost all the same themes "those feminists are always falsely crying rape" "hacking government computers" and "being and asshole"
awfulhero
I'm just here for the magic carpet ride to the front page
AlexHallon
#2 "I think I can hear my granddaughter crying downstairs" WAIT A MINUTE I'VE BEEN READING THAT ONE WRONG THIS ENTIRE TIME?
ihadtocomeupwithanewscreenname
HOLY FUCK I NEVER NOTICED
keykilla
he went over to this chick's house and did the ritual with her grandma
dankmemesdotorg
I didn't see anything wrong with two until I read your comment.
Vapossate
#31 is brutal
RealFuckinNeato
Accidentalanal
#24 is sadder than grave of the fireflies
galspanic
When are "land whales" only slightly less than average at 4/10? I don't get it.
daeux
Refering to fat peoples looks
changingmynamerealquick
Pretty face, clean appearance, nice, just too heavy for his tastes. That's how I imagined it at least!
galspanic
That makes sense.
daeux
Refering to fat peoples looks
galspanic
Doesn't make it any more clear. 5 is average - like most people are close to 5s - and this girl was pretty much average looking.
DerpKugel
Well the scale is different for everyone. I've been rated both 4 and 10. Some people I'd rate 3 that others would rate 10, or vice versa
galspanic
That's subjectivity. I'm talking about stats. 5 is average. 4 and 6 is just about average (~1 std dev). ~60% are between 4 and 6.
DerpKugel
Yes, my pointe is that girl can be above average to some, and below to others
bobbummanwitdaequipmunk
I want #1 to be real
cmc8290
I still don't understand who is wearing $500 shoes and working at Subway
ZedaZ80
Rich kids in college that want a little extra spending money.
Unquote
Stupid people have a tendency to spend their money on shit they can't afford.
Epicizer
Bitches. Plain and simple
Shmewkey
As a mobile user...
youhavemail
He numbered them at least
almostsomething182
Still read them all doe
BAMBAMBronsolino
I just wasted an hour of my life reading every one of these.. it was totally worth it though.
lurkinginpublic
More luke 3 hours. I'm not a fast reader.
MisterG00dkat
It's been a productive day at work.
MulleCheck
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time..
Germurican
#66 was good. "I have the hardest wood ever" "do nothing because I am a chair"
GrImmgur
It was one helluva ride.
DontWorryImapilot
Seen this before but +1 for actually numbering them.
UncuredChaos25
#6 My personal hero. Am also formerly Subway employed.
BrandonianFlynnigan
Same
Bezaid
Previous Sandwich Artists™ unite!
cearka
#5 so much. kids are actually safer nowadays but the media makes things out to be worse then use to. let your kids have some independance
cearka
or they turn out to be useless shits as adults
queenofmachines
Holy shit that last part of #14
whatspaulplayingtoday
Yeah. I know that feel.
FancyFrance
Pretty shitty way to go through life, personally. To think you can outgrow people aka be better than them is weak sauce.
hamcity
Sometimes green text gets too real too fast
forzaitaly
I thought i was the only one. It brought me to tears..
baconthatisall
http://imgur.com/p6laPso I will never not love greentext. "WHO PUT ZEE JOOZ IN ZE OVEN"
Baconmac1234
TALLY HO!
Meck
ye but most of those been here plenty times... I wished there were more new ones.
Unquote
There is a whole website with new ones, DUH
JayKaySC
what is the source for the gif?
baconthatisall
The Voice
JayKaySC
yes i know that, but what audition made him laugh like that?
baconthatisall
Not sure, I think it was season 4 though
TheToastieTerror
PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE
Admiralakbar1
I THOUGHT THE NAZIS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE EXTINCT!
StickmanSham
Translation: Armored car satisfaction for suffering
danjiano
More like Armored Battle Vehicle, or tank.
MOTHERFUCKINGFLYINGSPAGHETTIMONSTER
I think you are just bragging because you can pronounce them. Am i right?
TalonDudeguy
I can pronounce them, but I'm not relevant to you or anyone else so yeah
AddictedToCycling
#24 guts me every single time. I don't care if it isn't real.
xLirael
It's similar to this an episode of Scrubs. Feels warning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9NS-Qd0WdQ
killrbee
I almost balled out in tears. Even if that's fake, still so sad.
FancyFrance
The post may be fake, but people live that. Somewhere some time, someone did that.
TalonDudeguy
I know, holy shit
Thepostinglurker
Fucking #10 justice
ketru
Cartman?
Thepostinglurker
Yes! Yesss!! Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.
jayol
Would of put more stress on the mother. The little shit would of woken her up straight away demanding to drive him back to the store
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
I love it, but I hope the mum's life wasn't any worse for it. She needs to break the little shit, but it's hard when society says you can't.
FrankJ7
aww yis
Thepostinglurker
motha f*&%*$ justice!!!!
AddictedToCycling
I never get tired of this one.
eagle193
#9 is way shorter than the full version
Jamesbaxster
Lord of the milfs, a true classic.
spoonybards
Is it sad or awesome that I remember pretty much all of it? It was so long too...
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Was gonna say, how is that something you would only share on /b/
finallyinfinite
Why would they not put all of IT guy on here? It's perfect
huanthewolfhound
The one that we really hope is a true story?
dusty594
So werf reading the hole thing. That was great.
sfrobot
full version is probably greatest fucking story i have ever heard
CleverlyReferencedThing
the full is glorious
wolfetrax
I was wondering when I would see lord of the milfs again, but apparently OP didn't see eye to eye for that one.
Clurebear
NOOO. Stupid computer won't let me load last 2 pictures. Now I will never know what happened to the lord of the milfs... I'm so sad.
Mcrusty
The full version is pure internet gold.
ProfessorZeus
That is one of my favorites
BaconLord49
Best greentextss are: Hackman (search up Hackman greentextss), lord of milfs, neighbors one (skyrim belongs to the Nord's) and the "ACTIVATE
thesmoothestcanadianever
The full version is just pure gold
chimchim666
pretty rad story. but i'm really skeeved that that dude spied on Emily and stole her facebook password. Creepy!
ENDESGA
Full version made me cry real jesus jealous tears
Thepostinglurker
do you have th full version?
docendodiscimus
The full one takes up half the internet. It's like GRR Martin's lost tome.
justsomenormaldude
The full version of this made me cry
[deleted]
[deleted]
blacksheepdown
Thats what she said
PublicRelations
Mobile pls
pumpseidon
Liek if u cri erytim
TimTamFlimFlam
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
NanoSwarmer
Holy fuck, I started choking up at the end. That was beautiful...
SirRebrum
So i totally typed in the adress wrong and got nudes, thanks mobile, I'll let ya'll figure out the caps sensitivities your self
SkyrimForTheDragons
Why doesn't something like this ever happen to me
MyNameIsRyan
.
myfatcathaslotsofhats
Hahahahaha she's actually pretty damn hot
Icecold11111
Now I'm wondering if you just typed random letters/ numbers how often you would find nudes
mastercheif
Is that Emily?
EveryCommentIs140CharactersExceptMaybeThisOne
i figured it out and i really wanna know who that girl is.
mastercheif
its emily
[deleted]
[deleted]
thescarydude
Are you a professional codebreaker?
TalonDudeguy
I would find that one gif of the guy running around "hacking" various electrical appliances, but I'm too lazy
TalonDudeguy
I would find that one gif of the guy running around "hacking" various electrical appliances, but I'm too lazy
TalonDudeguy
I would find that one gif of the guy running around "hacking" various electrical appliances, but I'm too lazy
TalonDudeguy
I would find that one gif of the guy running around "hacking" various electrical appliances, but I'm too lazy
TalonDudeguy
I would find that one gif of the guy running around "hacking" various electrical appliances, but I'm too lazy
muhahabla
Atta boy
TimTamFlimFlam
That was the most beautiful greentext I've read in a while.
internetpotato
Calling bullshit on 10. How would you have a defective copy of the game on a midnight release? People have to try playing it first.
WarJesus420
>Missing the point of greentext
almostsomething182
It's all lies, and it's all truth. It's the Schroedinger's cat of the internet.
MaximumZero
Yeah, that's 100% grade-A horseshit.
WarJesus420
*Ahem* "....anyone who takes anything written here as truth is a fool." >Be you > Be Missing the point of greentext
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
Most of these are bullshit.
SealedSeven
Some stores had copies open to play in store before launch as either tourny or first chance to play. Plausible but still unlikely
Unquote
>believing greentexts
JackassofAllTrades
>using meme arrows outside 4chan
Unquote
>still calling it memearrows
OhDavidMyNacho
>implying they were ever called meme arrows
Unquote
It was, get with the times scrub
WhiteGuyNamedJaCrispy
I preferred that over black Twitter
keyblader1985
Por que no los dos?
chrisjfinlay
Because the black twitter posts aren't funny
RonBurgundySayingIDontBelieveYou
Railgun01
I hope to start seeing 500+ Greentext dumps on front page.
PandraPierva
Greentext any day over black twitter
unconsciousmess
erry day