Modern video games and swords

Apr 4, 2018 10:12 AM

kakaopor

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195323

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3491

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69

Source: http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/modern-video-games-are-giving-kids-unrealistic-sta-6638

Source: https://twitter.com/TheBrometheus/status/980823831383363585

"Modern Video Games Are Giving Kids Unrealistic Standards For How Many Swords They Can Carry At One Time"

FP EDIT: Really? Don't send me anything, pet a dog or cat for me, thanks!

It's from Onion. You are just being trolled.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Don't hate the game, hate Hestu.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thats not a savage lynel sword!!!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Damn Link is ready to fight off an army or

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He doesn’t even have a savage lynel blade in his inventory!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Max Payne: Two of everything, then add assault weapons, shot guns and incindiaries.

8 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 1

I really loved how Max Payne 3 handled it. No holstering the twohanded weapons, but you could carry it with one hand while shooting a pistol

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Queue Wolfenstein and Goldeneye 007

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I'll have you fucking know, I can carry at least 100 swords, given I have the proper sling!!!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You're telling me you can lift 300 lbs and run up a mountain?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also an unrealistic view on how long a sword lasts. *hit twice, throw away because shattered*

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Well maybe if they didn't break every 5 god damn swings I wouldn't need so many

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Of COURSE I need that many!! THEY BREAK SO FAST

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Weapons breaking is the worst mechanic ever.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

It's not great. Realistically, a lot of things should get less sharp until you spend some time with a whetstone. But breaking should be 1+

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2+ rare, and it should make sense when it does. Like you're fighting a rock with a pointy. And... the broken bit should still be better than

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3/3 nothing. Yeah, replace *that* asap, because it's almost as good as a rock for hitting things. But until you find a rock...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't think you need it to be more logical. The mechanic just sucks. It doesnt add to anything, so it should never be implemented

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Monster hunter world does this thing where you can sharpen up your weapon. Treat it like a buff instead of a penalty, ya?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, thats totally different. Could just have whetstones or whatever to find

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Everyone knows you may only take a bushel of swords with you and leave two bushels at home

8 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

Why that's nearly 64 US pints (35.2 liters) of cold hard steel.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

What's that in Imperial?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

35.2 liters is roughly 9.3 Gallons

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I meant Imperial Pints.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Upvoted for the metric conversion

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Did she not know you can put at least 10 of em up your ass

8 years ago | Likes 223 Dislikes 2

Once.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Those are rookie numbers

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's quitter talk my friend, think more!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Link's main superpower has always been hammerspace.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Jesus, what kind of person would go out and find that many Korok Seeds? Finding the shrines is one thing, but you need 441 of them...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What really fucking shits me is I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs but yep that's right fuck you 2 rings only wearable eva.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

::cries in Skyrim::

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I recall an old RPG that made the excuse that magic artifacts could tear the wearer apart, so you could only use 1 ring per hand.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

How about neck slots? I wanna be the Mr T of magical amulets dammit.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Y'all wanna be running around like this motherfucker? https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RichThankfulCrayfish-size_restricted.gif

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

He did seem rather pleased with himself tbh

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If they were magic rings, yes.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Well my comment backfired.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Running around as a "God-emperor" you mean? Yes?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Are you implying there can be more than one God-Emperor?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, he's dead, so the job seems open.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Source?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The movie 300

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

300 what?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Spartans

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Gameplay balancing's a bitch. I modded Skyrim to let me equip 10 rings...got OP much faster than usual.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No kidding, adding 8 magical artifacts on top of everything else is naturally going to make you damn near invincible.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some games at least try to justify it with the "magical items interfere with each other" angle

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Wonder why the +1str ring interferes just as much as the 6 stats ring then.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You get a short in the ether and they discharge all the energy at once. Best case, your arm is a tentacle. Worst case, that tentacle eats ya

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If the threshold of interference is low, one could interfere significantly more but have no difference in effective interference.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Also gives unrealistic expectations of how long a weapon will last. Magic sword that shoots fire or lightning ? You can swing it twice.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

All that fire and lightning really fucked up the temper of the blade :P

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

it must! :D

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love this game, but after hitting something five times with a weapon, it breaks. That is really very stupid.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Worse thing for me is spears, I throw them one and they explode.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's what throwing non-boomerangs does in that game - if you hit an enemy, they auto-crit for 2x damage and explode. That damage...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

multiplier stacks with the 2x damage if the weapon would break from the hit, so you can throw a damaged weapon for 3x damage.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But that's what I don't like. They treat boomerangs like they're the only throwing weapons when spears are as well.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Perhaps, but even if they didn't break it'd be a waste to throw the Spears, their main advantage is their rapid stab rate.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you get the DLC? There’s a new trial to unlock the master sword but it’s 54 levels!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That doesn't unlock it, you have to have it unlocked already to start the trials. They are divided into 3 groups, each group ...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have the master sword already if that’s what you mean. I mean unlock it as in the trial makes the sword permanently full power.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah, alrighty, yeah, miscommunication then, talking about the same thing in different terms.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

powers up the master sword when it is not full powered by 10 damage.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just started it the other day. I got to 6 before I realized there were 54 rooms. I was like meh...I’m gonna shelf this one for later...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

First one is 12 rooms, it gives you a +10 and lets you back out after that.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where in the hell are your spears, lad?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Modern Video Games Are Giving Kids Unrealistic Standards For How Many Times You Can Swing A Sword Before It Breaks"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Sets them up for failure when they do finally carry swords" how many Chris grow up and carry swords on a daily basis?!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If i ventured for something realistic i would leave my apartment.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And what kind of slopes they can actually climb over

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How people get that much swords? Here's my ass in BOTW with barely a dumb club to fend enemies off with. I guess I do gotta get good.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you find koroks you can trade the seeds for weapon slots. Once you have the Master Sword it becomes easier to keep weapons.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There's several weapons that respawn. I know there's iron sledgehammers at the golf minigame, plus at your home in Hateno Village...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Plus the major towns have weapons laying around them. Zora Village has silver weapons on the bridge leading out of town...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What utter nonsense!

8 years ago | Likes 100 Dislikes 0

those aren't swords

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

If you swing em around hard enough they might be.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Be sure to fix bayonets first.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You're right. They're bigger and heavier. Stands to reason you could do the same with swords.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Borderlands?

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Grand theft auto?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Russia- which is kind of similar at times...

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Handsome Vladimir.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I miss being able to carry 20 weapons at once. Damn consoles and their 2 weapon limits.

8 years ago | Likes 164 Dislikes 4

Joke's on you, that's a console game.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The 2 gun limit was one of the things that made halo great, forced you to use alien weapons mid battle, so baller.

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

2-4 gun limit can be an interesting gameplay mechanic, but not every shooter needs it.

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

We should make a game that lets you pick how many holsters you equip before you start a mission, but it affects your speed and stealth

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

ME3 sort of did that.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Bet, do you have a graphic designer for me?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can't you hold a lot in dark souls 3?..

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 4

Pretty sure there's no limit to how many you can have in your inventory in DS3, but each one equipped increases encumbrance

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Shooters of yesteryear allowed a more or less infinite wheel of weapons. Now you typically get 2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where do you get the sword from Majoras mask??

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The Majora's mask and Fierce Deity amiibo. It is a random drop.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Found out about the korok-seed trade after collecting 150 of the damned things and playing only with the default weapon slots... THE RAGE

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wait until you find out those are little poops

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's several things in the game that tell you about Hestu... The very first Korok you find tells you to return the seeds to him

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Back in my generation, we knew that 5 to 10 swords was enough. Realistically, no one needs more that.

8 years ago | Likes 855 Dislikes 1

Only one, vorpal is enough

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also back in your day you could carry every gun you picked up, including a rocket launcher and minigun. Now you're limited to 2 or 3 usually

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I miss those days.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Really well where am I going to store all my elemental swords,spears and the clubs I have ripped off the bodies of a newly endangered race

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*laughs while I edit Skyrim to remove the max carrying limit*

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hmmm let's see here...max carry weight....3892489347892375983275832947548975345

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Everyone knows Locke does more damage by throwing a sword than wielding one, which means you need all the swords.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Locke was the Thie... "Treasure Hunter". Shadow was the Ninja (though if you managed to save Shadow, Gogo could mimic Throw later as well)

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Oh god your right. I am a retard. In my defense im just getting my first cup of coffee. Forgive me internetz!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

have you seen how shitty the BotW swords are? they don’t make em like they used to.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What we truly need is an assault sword

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

I want a sword that actually fires other swords, even if all my hearts aren't full, without having to swing again for every sword it fires.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Now we just need a gun that shoots SWORDSPLOSIONs.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My first thought. God I love that game, any news on when 3 is coming out?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I haven't heard anything other than that texturing tech demo, the fact that they are working on SOMETHING, and that flamethrower tweet.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Terraria

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Erdrick's sword.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Those who played Tibia needed just two.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

unless they break every 10 swings

8 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 1

Biggest reason I stopped playing this piece of shit.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

This!!!!! Zelda makes me a bit stab by with how quick stuff breaks

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Different weapons have different durability, and it's usually not apparent by just looking at the weapon. Some stuff lasts quite a while.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Simply play it on CEMU and use BOTW editor to alter the resistance of your weapons. Problem solved.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

...Holy shit, I could just fucking edit that?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Only if you play it on a WiiU emulator on your computer.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's to encourage you to use a variety of weapons. If they didn't break, I would never have found my love for Spears.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This guy is wearing Barbarian armor though, it's best with the two-handed swingy weapons.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Britney is amazing, I’ll give you that.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Also, it's actually a result of the game being so wide open. Otherwise people would just go straight for the best weapon and use it all game

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Warframe is the game with the most weapons.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and they anti-break. You use the shit out of 'em and they level up.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I kinda doubt that they have the most UNIQUE weapons, though. and anti-break is just awkward as a term...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have 140 characters, do you want me to explain one interpretation of reversing the entropic decay natural to things in our universe? :D

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

yes.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It anti-breaks.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0