UnreliableBacon
122585
1392
63
May 22, 2016 5:36 PM
UnreliableBacon
122585
1392
63
LurkerBee
I said no fatties.
NifferJiffer
Do you like Memes?
whatfjdlsmd
Ruin a date? I think its a great pickup line
SoberAndBored
Your kids are sexy
juggernaut1
Holy shit winner. In the worst way.
lindltailor
sweetchiliwingsonly
Smell this white rag
Inmate45
That's usually success more than ruining the date.
HighFive1
"Well, beats jerkin it."
Brammert
I'm not racist but
SIrEvilMustache
JaxisThere
Mind if I vape?
TheHappyCanadian
"I'm also a vegan"
undeadAlex
Try this great vape?
SchwiftyGameOnPoint
Great Grape Ape Vape?
undeadAlex
Great Grapes of wrath
whycantisigninwithmyotherusernamethisisstupid
Oh, not you again
Firefluff
You smell different awake...
MadoraM
I have goosebumps now... I wouldn't even know how to react. I mean, now I'm laughing, but... goddamn.
Firefluff
Right?!!! I creeped myself out with that one...
Billtcm
I brought my wife
BlueStringsAttached
I bought my wife
IAmTheBadW01f
Well, are they both down for it?
EliMFrost
On that note I'll raise you: I brought my Mom.
BlueStringsAttached
I feel like your username would raise some eyebrows at the dinner table, also.
dorsvenabili
Ruin?? That'd be perfect!!
R1ven36
You're fatter than expected
hockeychick21
Heard it
whatfjdlsmd
Five words
whatfjdlsmd
Ffs -32 points wtf is wrong with you'll
whatfjdlsmd
Yall*
minigator
Stop down voting him he's right, contractions count as the amount of words they are un-contracted, go ahead, Google it
PaperHero
I only do anal.
SalazarRaze
I'm sure that you're a guy. But if a girl says that...... It's the best date ever.
laughatmecasey
Could be 2 dudes on a date. Or 2 freaky lesbians. Apparently a lot of people like butt stuff. Just not this girl yo
TheKeaMa
I am your density.
liv4thebeatles
I love it and you!!!!
Ireallyhopethisnamewillfitohmygoditdid
radikalskippy
I'm pretty sure that one would get someone laid.
runforitmarty
Very good
drinkup4
Does this look infected.
Ruxpin613
Shit sorry didn't see this, great minds think alike!
ActuallyJabbaTheHutt
BEAR ME A SON
[deleted]
[deleted]
thenorthwinter
For me as well.
BlueStringsAttached
Your mom's named Martha?
SippyTurtle
Wouldn't that make them instantly become friends?
5700
I laughed loudly at this comment
outforaripareyabud
sloomoo
It's really not contagious.
abziideon
It's ClassilyContagious.
ArtemisOzzimmer
Would you like me to check though?
sniggledick
Make America Great Again
UnreliableBacon
I like how you think lmao
PinkAmazonQueen
Omg im at work lmfao
spacecatts
Damnit! I was gonna say that
Mitheledh
Depending on where you live, that might be grounds for a second date.
charlietheratking
Unfortunately it is where I live.
JustALilChubby
I was gonna say "I love Donald Trump" but you ruined it
sloomoo
She'll have a salad.
TheBearsMaiden
Damn beat me to it! +2
SeaChell
I literally said "OOOOOOOH" out loud. I would leave that date so fast.
MittenSquisher
That's cold-blooded.
TheyCallMeCaptainObvious
Charlie Murphy!!!!!!!
McWuvinn
.
gazzaaatheredditor
Perfect hahahha
weliveinaspaceshipdear
Damn son you win
ThatCanadianViking
Shes having MY salad
iHadEnuf
TheSilentInterloper
My date better be ready to chow down on some ribs together.
LordRassilon
My mom's joining us.
SIrEvilMustache
TheHuntedSnark
I'm sure some will dispute this one.
kungfufil
I shall dispute quite strongly indeed!
kungfufil
You can't add a word with a grammar mistake. I mean, come on!
Firefluff
That will do, pig.
thatwilldopig
Hey, now.
ArtemisOzzimmer
Depending on the girl this might be acceptable.
thatwilldopig
I don't think it'd bother me.
LookingCaliforniaFeelingMinnesota
I would love if someone says this to me. I mean I'm a guy, but I would still like it.
Rjl13666
This will always be the best answer.
Ohnay
That'll do, Donkey.
treehugr1207
I have had a guy say this to me on a first date
octoberr
Ouch
Firefluff
Did it ruin the date?
treehugr1207
Surprisingly it didn't. I'm actually going on a second date with him
cobrapup
My last girlfriend said...
Pishaw
Try my puttanesca sauce.
WholeFoodsIsCorporate
This should be top.
Ineedabetteradult
I can't believe I got this reference!
accidentalpartridge
i understood that reference (4words)
GodEmperorOfImgur
Understood, that's a 10 letter word.
5700
@Optimixto
MajicWalrus
Actually it's a trilby.
DrBuckarooBanzai
You delightful motherfucker
hungrydutchman
Winner winner fedora dinner
MistressValentine
fucking winner.
GILE5
Haha! That's really good. +1 :D
Troyandabedinthemornin
Hahahahahaha
SingleNiceFedoraWearingClassyGuycautiondonotfriendzone
Nailed it
turbotricycle
Damn son!
UsChickens
Toppest of comments <3
RadicalRaizex
I wish I could upvote this more, goddamn
Thephedora
My username is Thephedora and I am not a neckbeard.
Itani
LMAO
NonExistingName
That's technically 5, but I'm not one to judge
aRatFlail
Moments before; You kook divine, m'lady
findingjewels
@sarah award time
Amaloramar
Almost exactly what was said to me on a first date. Not a fedora.
laughatmecasey
Whoo! Took the upvotes to 420! Blaze it! ....and the date is now officially over....
laughatmecasey
Why the downvotes? It's not like I killed a baby or anything...
rezoahc
HHOOOOOOOOO Damn that was GOOD.
thefuckwouldiwantacaravanthatsgotnofuckinwheels
this is fucking poetry
LegoK9
Fuck... I've been reading it trib-ly this whole time...
CanIGetAnyOfUCuntsADrink
Technically 5 words but have a +1 anyway
Ricker270
Paarthursnax2
Well, you're right, although I dont like it.
Wastyvez
I don't get why people find this so hard to understand. If you have two playing cards, and you place them on top of eachother so that you 1)
Wastyvez
can only see one, you still have two playing cards. Same principle. It'd make far less sense if contracted words counted as one word. 2)
SethReid
Clear a fucking notification how do you not have an aneurysm every 6 seconds
Paarthursnax2
by not being a total spaz.
CanIGetAnyOfUCuntsADrink
Wow, so many downvotes. In my defense I was raised by grammar Nazis.
BarfTittiesGalore
Your username +1
ChrisTheGopher
Not with that username... How dare "u"
CanIGetAnyOfUCuntsADrink
Sometimes I rebel.
Derrapin
Beautiful.
Thoraxe123
well... nobody's gonna top that
nerdmoot
Ever heard of imgur?
BannedForNSFW02
I've actually done this.
LaloFelix
That's my go to move
SmokeyDragon
They say no, than you repost in real life? You're a walking shit post aren't you!
SpectrumAK
Yep full blown AIDS
SEXYWHALE4LIFE
I literally laughed out loud
SchwiftyGameOnPoint
http://dl.glitter-graphics.com/pub/955/955583n21eyzww7a.gif
5700
Lmao
MarckW
Ever considered breast implants?
InqSerena
How is this one not at the top!
TheHuntedSnark
Bonus for saying this when you're female and your date's male.
PQTANLINDA
A guy asked me if I inherited my boobs from my dad
FrankRizzo55
Because you're flatchested or your dad has moobs?
PQTANLINDA
lol because im an A cup
DanielReader
haha "Still waiting on the Inhertitance"
Imadudefromokc
I'm not good at math
Shillings
This is a ripoff
RayLynch
The only comment that made me laugh as opposed to smile!
Lmntreepenguin0
*I'm't
lizlemon7
This is really funny. I audibly laughed. Thank you.
SoberAndBored
So anyway, here's Wonderwall
ArneNielsen
That's five though...
ArneNielsen
So where are my apologies and the withdrawal of the downvotes? Guess it's not Imgurian to admit your mistakes ;)
calldrdaley
It's okay, I'll upvote you out of sympathy.
worldsokayestspeler
Can you count?
Wastyvez
Can you?
holycannolie
Can?
SmokeyDragon
You're bad at counting. Contractions are still one word
ArneNielsen
Contractions are two words put together though...
Qrisz
Sorry,
kansas555
Hey, I learned something today! Thank you.
SmokeyDragon
Oh shit, I've been bested. Can I blame education for teaching me ignorance?
minigator
Yup
thegricemiceter
undownvoted -> upvoted your previous comment because you realized that you were wrong and didn't act like a child.