RayIsPrettyOkay
181163
7683
542
Our first spawn and she will rule the world. Or at least our world. :)
Oct 15, 2016 11:33 PM
RayIsPrettyOkay
181163
7683
542
Our first spawn and she will rule the world. Or at least our world. :)
Sneakypete18
Nice crotch goblins
AkwardBearHug
Tis a witch! Burn her!
hellotheregovenah
Congrats on the thing you two made, its beautiful @op
leecherx
Can I touch your useless sack of man meat? I mean, you useless sack of man meat? ;) Congrats new father!!! From a newish, 8 month father!
pennysmom1
What a beautiful baby!! Congrats guys!!
joshtrox
Congrats man! I'll be doing the same post on may
olivesalt
The child seems pleased with your performance. And the wife's. well done.
coffeeandworlddomination
Omg she is seriously beautiful OP!
bbfoghorn
She is gorgeous.. Man you did something right. Good luck with your new world.
SpaceOfTwoWeeks
This isn't facebook
LeftHandPanda
This
SabinSlash
I scrolled so very far to see this comment. Thanks for reminding us that babies are boring. Baby pics should fall under the no selfie rule.
colesparky
Congrats! It really is a wonderous thing
Superchief86
Congrats on a successful spawning ritual!
WakeMeUpB4UpostPost
Congrats on busting your seed deep inside your lovely wife's sugar walls. *high five*
Redeyer
Having sugar-coated walls a couple times today hoping to conceive, this made me smile.
SaturdayMidmorning
I swear by the fertility app. Give it three months to adjust and BOOM. You're in charge.
LanaDelReyy
The sugar is the semen.
LatoyaTheExploya
Hey, your man meat is what got you two there in the first place, @op! Not useless. Congrats to you both though! What is her name?
RadicalDud
I think he was saying that his manmeat self just standing there was useless, but that was sweet of you.
RayIsPrettyOkay
Annika
mehgs
Beautiful!
0hmymymy
I LOVE that name!
themonkeyboy04
Congrats dude, i work at a hospital and a see new small humans and yours is one of the pretty ones :D
HOLAKOOO
so what
darknessrapeman
looks like a generic poopdoll
SifrNihilum
Congrats! Mines almost two now and I'm still in total awe....
chrisno55258542
shes perfect, period!!! ;) so cute!!!
Tymich92
Only advice I give to new parents is: 1 get your kid on a schedule asap. 2 buy a diaper genie. They're amazing. Good luck.
BlameTheDeer
Diaper genie saved our lives lol. That thing literally takes all the shit and couldn't smell anything.
seltzerlizard
It's the best invention since the wheel!
avm89
She is adorable! <3
horseguacamole
Newborn babies always look like thy have alien eyes to me.
AlecStarling
That is one fine minion. Congrats
NegativePositivePrimitive
NitrateFree
That is a beautiful noob
XxGamerpandaxX
Lol
ThecommentFarmer
iamhilariouslyimmature
Someone tell me what that is pls
whiskeywonka
A very old, low budget show that was funny as hell
MissGraceBodacious
Dinosaurs
sulfuratus
Well, she's going to have some experienced players to guide her through that game with the incredible graphics and the shitty gameplay.
KatoSooze
Fishheadman
she's only just a newb still, give her time.
WhenYouMissoutOntheCoolUsernames
Nooobs l2p, git gud at lyfe.
Thedailywumbo
She gonna be a healer tank or dps @op?
DeerLordSaveUs
Dps heavy shadow priest
feckr
all she gonna do is feed for the first few years
brakeurself
She's gonna be a tank that heals.
Sokonomi
She'll be the healer that whines and moans about the tank moving too fast.
BridgetoTerabithiawasshit
Alright, then, you sponge, lets see you tank without your heals. Go on. Walk through those level 100 mobs. Call me a glorified bard...
tw0nk
She gonna go dps first, then tank then heals
Anakindergarden
That's...actually pretty accurate. My 3 year is powerleveling as dps atm.
ISuckedDickForBusFareAndWalked
D'aws per second?
Anakindergarden
Not a chance. Level 3 demonspawn "livingroomwreckage" is a damagedealer. Tbf. she has a lot of rest xp from being in the womb for 9 months.
Space2place
@RayIsNotOkay, Congrats! Welcome to the world & the Imgur com lil 1. Waiting to see funny pix/gifs of silly stuff you'll do w/ mum n dad ^_^
wulfansur
Did you get to cut the umbilical cord? Hopefully you succeeded first cut.
ThisIsMyNameNowShhhh
Aww. We find out the gender of ours this coming Tuesday. And then March 13th is the due date. I cannot wait for my little bundle of joy!
Wombatish
You're a month ahead of me, /high five. April 14th and Mom and Grandma both (working) accountants. Sharing that date was funny AF.
ThisIsMyNameNowShhhh
Nice! /high five! :D and lol yeah. Sounds funny!
radams13
Got one of my own coming any day now.
Redeyer
Good luck!
BlameTheDeer
My spawn is 6 months old. I couldn't have done it without that wonderful epidural lol. I felt absolutely nothing.
aerithkitty
Mine just hit 3 months old. That epidural saved my sanity.
BlameTheDeer
Seriously the nurses thought something was wrong because I was so calm during labor lol
thekreat
my boy is 6 weeks old, absolute joy...for now.
IamtheMonkeyKing
Why is your child's eyes completely black...?
BlibberingHumdinger
Kid looks half asian, asians dont have blue eyes at birth.
Noughmad
Mother took way too much spice during pregnancy.
ImFunAtGrammarParties
They're not, I can see they're blue. Also the cloth/sheets around her are white and literally lit a/f (it's a hospital), hence the contrast.
HikariShade
Baby's eye color can change for up to 2yrs. They only look black in the pic because her eyes are mostly closed. Their probably a dark blue.
BlibberingHumdinger
*Caucasian eyes change. Most of planet born with and keep brown eyes.
LadyWidebottom
My youngest looks like she has black eyes. They're dark brown.
DanCrat
They are. I just zoomed in.
applemuse
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
You're eyeballs are the only body part that doesn't grow. They come out adult sized so you see less sclera than we're used to
Wombatish
Not quite: http://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/12487/do-human-eyes-grow-after-birth (growth is rapid as a baby and a lot is hidden).
LadyWidebottom
They're not, you can see the whites of the eyes in the corners if you look closely.
mostaba
Most babys have eyes like that the will change after some time
Sirsir94
Its demons. Don't worry I'm sure theres a treatment for that
srslydude
They're just a really dark blue. Cause there's no light in the womb.
RayIsPrettyOkay
Hell spawn. Mwoahahaha.... Nah, probably limitations of phone camera.
XxGamerpandaxX
They aren't.the eyes are little and pupils are huge and they appear dark.
Wombatish
Zoom in. They're blue and her sclera is tinged more blue as well + squint. The blue sclera tinge is common in infants.
sikalb
we named our 7 month old Dean.
Arachnophobicloser
You waited seven months to name your kid?
Arachnophobicloser
Oh, never mind. I understand
BlibberingHumdinger
Dude i was gona make that joke too!
Arachnophobicloser
I'm very tired. I was serious
Unolipio
Father of 2 here. Kids are brill until they're about 4yo ... then horrible until they've grown and move out ... then they're brill again.
ZOMGNO
I've got a 10yr old. There are pockets of brilliance inbetween :p
SpacialWhale
Same! My 9 year old is awesome. His 5 year old brother on the other hand... Is a handful.
BiscuitsandGravyBaby
I've just got the one turning 12 and it's been a relatively easy journey so far (touch wood).
baconforlife
My son has just turned 14. I love him all the time BUT I don't always like him! Dramas!!
ClassicSwanson
Father of three grown-ups. Can confirm.
theycallmehiphopapotomus
Omg, mum of 2, you nailed it.
thecitychicken
I have two teens, and they are a delight! But that's because I'm such a smart mom.
Unolipio
As a father I'm really not a very good mother.
BlibberingHumdinger
This!!! This is why I'm slowly increasing my 'no kids' certainty...
Pulllikeadog
Fuckers... they can be right fuckers
Virtuoso
Hell no, once they can hold a controller they can help you reach 100% on the Lego games!
SpacialWhale
I think it depends on the kids personality too. Some are inherently easier/ more enjoyable/compliant from the get go.
RoniBologna
Currently experiencing the week from hell with my 4yo. He is incredibly strong willed, and loud-voiced. It's brutal.
SpacialWhale
Strong willed, ADHD boy in our house. Different kid at 9 than at 4. "The strong willed child" by dr Dobson (with a grain of salt) helped
RoniBologna
Yes, I'm trying to get through "raising your spirited child" which describes him perfectly. I know this week will pass, must remain strong.
BlibberingHumdinger
Supernanny the SHIT out of him while you still can. His life (and your life) will NOT get any easier for giving in to him. Keep strong, Roni
RoniBologna
I constantly worry about the future. He's great when I can harness his energy for good, but one slip and we spiral. Today is a new day.
JaneCalamityJane
YES, you truth-teller! 4-14 sucks. Now, our 21 & 15 yo boys are awesome. It wasn't always like that but now? So much fun. Glad we had boys.
Mohammed1985
You're awesome
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Bullshit, it's the other way around. Babies and toddlers are dumb as dogshit, it's not until they start to work shit out that it gets good.
SpacialWhale
Babies are kinda the worst. They eat sleep poop and not much else. The walking talking reasoning ones are more fun.
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
They also make noise for no reason and it's not words so it's not even entertaining.
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Sometimes I make irritating noises while my son's playing computer games and I have to do the dishes, as a form of petty revenge.
Chaoslost
Mother of three. Trapped in that in between. Love my boys , but lord... send help...
ididntknowicoulddothat
I have 2 that's 2 and 6. Every one keeps saying enjoy it while it lasts cause they won't be this young forever. Good!
SilverLullabies
Try three. They turn into threenagers. (mother of two here)
TheGreatRadioControversy
My daughter is 8 going on 13. I swear she's slowly trying to kill her father while driving my Queen insane
Dalylah
As a mom of 4 teenagers, this is SO true!
sweetfumblebee
My son has been four for not even a full month.
sweetfumblebee
He makes me want the Goblin King to be his nanny.
Amberizme
Haha! Mom of 6. Completely agree!!
Tommy2Godzilla
Thanks mom...
WhoHasOneThumbAndWayTooMuchInternet
6? And I think I have responsibilities!
ahoymatey
I've always wanted 6 kids, but I'm 26 and single atm, so I don't see it happening! Be honest... is it completely mental?
Amberizme
Nah. They are great! They are spread out in age (26,24,14,13,8,7) so that makes it easier. Just make sure you can afford it.
ahoymatey
That sounds so lovely! And absolutely; would never want to knowingly have kids I couldn't afford. Good on you :)
Hyippy
My mum had 6 in 10 years biggest gap was 2.5yrs some were about a year. Then she was a widow when we were 6-16. I don't know how she did it
FluffyPuddles
As 1 of 6+2steps, pls don't do it. Give more love to fewer kids, have less problems. Please. 1/2
FluffyPuddles
If you are determined that you have the magical powers to truly give 6 people the love & nurturing they need to be whole humans, then adopt.
Hyippy
I'm 1 of 6 and my father died when I was young. No lack of love and no more problems than any other family. It depends on the parent(s)
FluffyPuddles
Agreed! Hence my follow up comment, which relates to responsible parenting in world with too many orphaned kids.
IredeemableFly11
Whooo yall were working
lama00
That's impressive. Congrats!
WhoHasOneThumbAndWayTooMuchInternet
What's brill?
Foxyrain
For some reason I was thinking adora-brill...?
Bishopcdn
I thought he'd miss spelt Krill. As in, the aquatic organism. As a dad of 1, his statement is still accurate.
idontknowthisbaby
Brilliant
captlush
Apparently, it's a European fatfish that resembles a turbot.
IdontshaveforSherlock
-o pad. They're steel wool.
Jesusqueef
Hi I'm late and scrolling on random. You made me laugh though so thank you and +1.
IdontshaveforSherlock
My work here is finished.
Unolipio
...iant. Just trying to conserve characters.
WhoHasOneThumbAndWayTooMuchInternet
OH. duh. Funny how slang works, eh?
samsonguy920
Characters are finite. Recycle them when you can.
caprica007
SO PRESH. I hate abbreviated words.
EnriqueMorales
Could have saved some more on all those ellipses...
deputoff
Unlike R.R. Martin
TheUpdootist
Okay. I'm glad you confirmed that. I thought this was yet another word I'm not hip enough to understand
Unolipio
A frequently used word when I was 10, but that was over 30 years ago. Please feel free to stary a revival :]
[deleted]
[deleted]
Demauscian
What's a turbot?