TallAsianGuy
278954
14069
307
Dec 23, 2015 8:44 PM
TallAsianGuy
278954
14069
307
WirenutsInYourButts
This could have went 50 shades of wrong. Buy a lottery ticket and look after your belongings better in the future. Cheers and happy holidays
gvan
Lol "glove department"
CoolHandRK
He even used the word compartment in the same sentence, so it makes even less sense.
CheezeWhiz
I was looking for this comment. lol
6ft1DickC
Coworker had his car broken into. They stole the stock cd player and left the $1,200 in tools in the back seat
FilthyRapscallions
If I were a thief, I'd steal mainly tools. But I believe in karma and would be afraid to use them. Shop accidents and stuff.
TheJackBurton
Had a brick thrown through my truck window, took my cd case, otc allergy meds, and change; yet left my iPod.
Assfullofbread
Probably on foot, too heavy to carry?
6ft1DickC
Nah, we're field techs, they're in a toolbag TO be carried. One item was a Fluke 87 multimeter about $430 alone
Assfullofbread
Dumb criminal then
Cryeing
He's probably got a prearranged deal with someone for CD players, and has gotten used to having target fixation
6ft1DickC
Seriously though, who even steals cd players anymore?
Cryeing
IDK, I'd imagine there's a parts market for them, vehicle dependent obviously, in the old cars I've been in the CD player is usually broken
6ft1DickC
Yeah, but a new one nowadays is less than $100 (yes I know there are more expensive ones for the one person that will point that out)
KirchoffsVoltageLaw
Didn't know you were worth $1,200
Koshunae
Savage
6ft1DickC
Savage like middle school
WhoIsTheDodie
They stole my husbands cd case and left the $1200 stroller in the trunk. even stole cds and toolset from the trunk.
6ft1DickC
Holy shit, is that stroller self powered and change diapers too?
WhoIsTheDodie
The was a stokke xplory. Google it. It was awesome. Sold it 3 yrs old for $350. Shouldve kept it found out i was preg again 3 days later.
WhoIsTheDodie
Didnt pay for it. I won it.
TheInnocentCriminal
Someone broke into my car a couple months ago and left my iPod, but took a granola bar. Who knows.
IzhuTupid
Maybe, there's a lesson in all this. Leave lots of change and a couple of pills in view. Then, maybe they'll leave your other stuff alone?
wick3dc4ke
glove department
PikachusPimp
Maybe the dude was homeless and wanted things he might need and didn't want to ruin someones Christmas in the process
whataweirdguy
I left my laptop and $700 cash in my car. Someone broke in, leaned over everything, and took a bottle of Vicodin out of the center console.
TheGamingBaconator
$700 isn't worth much and a laptop doesn't do anything *poorly written sarcasm*
TheGrumpest
this story had so many twists
demaniak
I guess their health was below 50%, so even hello kitty bandaids would do?
Sharaxxv
u hv 2 b specific, wht happened inside Girl's place? Did u fall sleep on the couch intentionally? So u can add another meme.
mont4
I want to be promoted to head of the glove department. Definitely going in my annual review goals.
Klnwltrnk
At my holiday party I won $200...just like all my coworkers. They give us extra money at the end of the year for not quitting.
GirlX
Do you know what I get at Christmas from my work? A kick in the ass.
GRiMGRiZ
that's what you get at MY house when you spill PAINT in the GARAGE
rebeccaisafish
My bonus was getting my hours cut back (6hours this week). I'll be lucky to pay rent next week. Merry Christmas!
Klnwltrnk
And yes, the term I'm looking for is bonus, but this just sounds more fun.
cowashee26
Nice. I'll have to remember this next year!
khaleesimotherofkittycats
I got a $2 Timmy's gift card for Christmas once
Tkeleth
I got a $25 gift card to the grocery store... got some frozen taquitos and a 6-pack of Not Your Father's Rootbeer. It was great. lol
LongoloidFartExplosion
Maybe it was a homeless person who didn't want to rob you but figured you wouldn't miss some change?
SHPLUMBO
"Heyy, I asked this fucker if he had any spare change earlier, I'm takin' this shit!" *slices finger on broken window*
TallAsianGuy
i actually didn't think of this possibility.
sneakycatnip
I just had my car broken into too. Nothing important was taken. Cops said they were look for change to buy food or drugs, most likely.
CarMurg
Exactly. Happened to me once.
Gryphacus
And perhaps it was a crackhead thinking about nothing but his next buzz. We do not accomplish much by pontificating.
Nutinbutbootson
My apartment was robbed in college. They took my cheap walmart posters and a bottle of Jack. They left all my jewelry. Assuming it was kids.
DontcallmeLen
At our company, the devout Muslim guy always seems to win the bottle of wine. He always remains gracious.
KharnApproves
That's why you make friends with him and get a bottle of wine fo' free every year.
Selerox
Our company once gave a bottle of wine to everyone. Without exception. Which included Muslims and recovering alcoholics. HR had a bad day...
PMmeurPuppies
Why does he keep entering?
DontcallmeLen
To try and win the ham!
MyFavoriteThingtoDoisFlakeOnPlans
There are multiple gifts he just ends up winning the wine of all choices.
Flyingkitty67
Probably automaticly entered If you work there .
PMmeurPuppies
Twas a joke
retunedspider287
Probably sells it or regifts it
BingleyBingleyBeep
He can't; he'd be encouraging others to drink! He's stuck with it and can't throw it away as it's a gift. Source: Muslim guy in our office.
retunedspider287
Ehh some people break those rules
ibelieveinmonkeys
Our corporate gift used to be limited to an annual holiday ham...and now we have kosher, gluten and halal options! Kebabs!
MyFavoriteThingtoDoisFlakeOnPlans
Good on yall!
kgburden
When that screen cracks and you slice your finger with every swipe, you're gonna wish you had those bandaids.
Jaron58
They must play fallout.
SHPLUMBO
it's past 1am Christmas eve and I just turned F4 off after hours of exploring and I didn't even think of that
SniperCorgii
Surprisingly iPads and iPhones don't get stolen often as they
SHPLUMBO
kill at night
snurx
Will bend in a pocket while leaning against a wall being frisk ed.
SniperCorgii
Tend to be easy to track and impossible to unlock
AuBoss
And they are over priced crap.
idownvoteplottwist
I would think it would be relatively easy to reset a device to factory defaults?
SniperCorgii
You need to unlock the device with a pin to be able to reset it to factory defaults and if the owner is aware it's stolen they can lock it
Koshunae
You could gotten all of that in one message
XenuWorldOrder
I'm assuming he accidentally hit the enter key, but that was funny.
SniperCorgii
Yeah accidentally hit enter and couldn't get it to edit at least on Mobile
Winecharmer
I would report this to the head of the glove department.
CatsAgainstHumanity
This comment made the post for me. Well done you magnificent beast.
CheeseIsNaturesFudge
Go easy on them, I heard they could use a hand.
rickeyspanish
I just like how she mentions "other" compartments two words later
Winecharmer
EXACTLY
MyOwnSummer
Haha exactly what I was thinking. Possibly a typo? (also,I think OP is a dude).
rickeyspanish
hello kitty band aids...she just has very manly hands
pdas1996
Head of the Glove Dept.:
ThatGuyNoOneKnows
I thbt don't thbt under thbt stand thbt what thbt you thbt are thbt saying.... Thbt
circuitryofawolf
I was expecting Danny Glover
BachelorGourmet
I thought the Head of the GD was Used Napkin. He's there often enough.
petdragon0005
Dats funneh
JustBeCoolBruh
I was hoping for the Hamburger Helper glove.
XiroInfinity
I expected glover.
MintyTS
Yes, this. I was hoping it was this.
MuggyMug
No, he's just the assistant.
RandAIFlagg
Assistant to the Head of the Glove Department
TheAllAmericanAsshole
Made me chuckle
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
What about the Midas Touch glove?
GrizzlyFrank
Treasurer
BowlDestroyer
I just updooted to 420...huehuehue
ericdidit
Fuck, that's good
TerraKnight
You, I like you
Winecharmer
Right back atchya. :-)
CatchyImgurUsername
You, I like you for liking them.
fluffyunicowsofdeath
I like you for liking them for liking them
Glappyness
I glove you all
ohheckyes4
I'll give you a hand for that one
Winecharmer
Ok, that one made me LOL
fluffyunicowsofdeath
I like you for likin g them for liking them
CatchyImgurUsername
I like you for likin g me liking them for liking them and making a typo and double posting. I do that crap all the time
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
CripPick
This made me laugh out loud.
BlyUploads
Had to scroll back to this post just to upvote this comment
ImgurBannedMeWtf
Stanley took the band aids
AmericanSighCo
"Hard to just slip in like that. Let's not point fingers too early" -head of glove department, probs.
Zetor
IamAllred
I don't know why I found this so funny I'm dying
Dawzaster
Thank you
nexunus
I love it when a comment has more points than the post
MolliTo
That would make it a leader glove
Acronymesis
This is the goldest shit ever said to date.
WisdomPlaytime
I am laughing!
Bohsjimmy
hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Classic @whinecharmer
CacaFueg0
Yes please report. We here at the Glove Department take bandaid theft very seriously. Especially hello kitty bandaid theft.
ProfessorIgnorance
Did you rename your account just for this comment? It's funny either way so thank you.
peterhjp
The head? Sergeant Roger Murtaugh. Played by Danny Glover.
DrippingSarcasmitis
Guy was bleeding severely and needed bus fare to get to the hospital.
IWillMakeSpellingErrorsAndGrammaticalMistakes
Somewhere there is an imgurian waiting in the ER, held together with Hello Kitty band aids looking at this and feeling terrible.
PikaChunin
I like it. This is now what happened.
OhSoCliche
Case closed.
Solscorn
Could have been a quest item.
ImaSendYouDickPicsK
Seems legit
GoCorral
Why was he bleeding severely? From the glass that cut his arm when he broke into a different car.
inmyhumbleo
That is exactly what happened.
BeerBatteredandBold
Bam! Case closed!
idownvoteplottwist
So that homeless guy wasn't lying about needing bus fare after all.
therealsiem
one time I forgot to lock my doors and instead of taking the cd's and dvd's in my backseat they stole a rockstar and my ex's smokes
ItsSneakyAdolf
Maybe they didn't like your taste in music/movies or, conversely, they had the same taste, but had all the same cd's and dvd's already.
10sky
If you're going to take someone's music/movies, would you not hock it at the pawn shop?
chickenoodlesoup
Someone stole my CDs, decided they didn't like my music, & threw the CD case in someone else's lawn. In the CD case was a random (1/2)
chickenoodlesoup
car repair receipt with my name & address, and my CDs were later returned. (2/2)
pirateninja
His mix CD was too hot for him to handle
hiyesthisissatan
Someone brokey window and took a backpack full of cloth diapers but didn't touch the $300 of tools, dvds, and DVD player, or Ipod.
therealsiem
It sounds like we really need to clean our cars, I'd hate it if they took my typewriter next
TylerDoYB
How is this not top comment?!?!
redviolin
You know in action movies where the hero randomly breaks into a house or something for supplies? Yeah that was what just happened.
catweasels
One time our car was broken into the only thing taken was my husband's winter boots and gloves and a tims card. It was -45C out
RandomGuyA
As a warm climate person, I don't want to live where you live.
Brittewater
Tims card implies Canada, most likely. With those temps probably someplace like Regina.
NateintheNorth
And the comic relief was that they were Hello Kitty. Someone contact Bruce Willis or Jason Statham quick!
TwentyOneSighs
http://imgur.com/dxvtyOc Eeeeh, close enough.
yourCleverUsername10
This was immediately what I thought of!
Watchoutitsaflyingcatcactus
Op accidentally helped save the world. Good job op
kreyll
This... actually feels incredibly plausible. I have to work to remind myself this doesn't happen in real life.
Imghurrr
It's actually incredibly unlikely..
MrRandom314159
... Often. This doesn't happen OFTEN in real life.
night4345
Maybe it does but they're all spies?
Jusmar
Everyone is a spy except you. Unless you yourself is a spy and you just don't know it yet.
night4345
0.o
aardvark2k
At my holiday party, I won a $50 gift card to a store that only sells prom dresses and pageant wear. I'm an ugly, bearded 34yo guy.
catsruleeverthingaroundme
You is smart. You is kind. You is important.
usernamenolongeravailable8
Then be a confident ugly 34yo guy in a prom dress?
xaviouswolffe
You have a beard, that gives +3 charisma at least.
aardvark2k
Thank goodness. I need it. My Dwarven fighter now has exactly 0 charisma.
breakfasttimeallthetime
Get the nicest, snootiest, flyest tophat that you could buy. And rock that motherfucker
vinny8boberano
Lollux
YOU ARE A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS
breakfasttimeallthetime
THE PRETTIEST!
aardvark2k
FUCK YEAH I AM! I'M GONNA GO GET ME A PRETTY FUCKIN DRESS WITH PINK SPARKLY BITS!
IsDisassembled
YUS
Femtoscientist
You tonight http://imgur.com/OaAhhzU
bobwehadababyeetsaboy
"dont touch me with your fucking potted plants"
Pawnderlust
Donate it to a local prom dress program
aardvark2k
I gave it to a woman at the party.
vinny8boberano
Are you also a Lumberjack? Are you okay?
aardvark2k
http://imgur.com/Xi7HRXq I actually was cutting down trees this day.
vinny8boberano
sharktoothache
If you have a beard, that automatically makes you beautiful.
aardvark2k
http://imgur.com/RApqTLl ummm..
sharktoothache
Are you trying to insult yourself lol
peelmynakedassoffthischair
Do you mean Christmas party?
aardvark2k
Eh. My company called it a holiday party. Potato, potahto.
MarcR1030
last year i won a mosquito zapper at my office party. this year i won potpourri. definitely not going next year, it will only get worse
inconspicuouselephant
My company party had 2k people. CEO raffled off Caribbean cruises, flat screen televisions, PTO, Bose surround system, Ipads, and others
aardvark2k
Nice! Mine had maybe 500 people. Including employee's guests.
inconspicuouselephant
I really only showed up for the raffle. Once it was over I left.
HeadingWest
Give it to your local high school. They will find a girl who needs it. They know who can't afford a prom dress. Be a hero!
aardvark2k
I gave it to a woman at the party.
Siegerose
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL 34yo BEARDED GUY!!!!
ChanningTastum
You buy one of those dresses. You take pictures as the prettiest thing to ever wear a prom dress. And then show off to everyone. You rock
GuinnessSteve
With that stuff you could be a beautiful one.
sometimescoffeetastesliketuna
If you can put it in, you can pull it off *Z snaps*
sometimescoffeetastesliketuna
*put it ON....
longestusernameallowedatthistimesotherebuttobesureiaddedmore
That never stopped you before.
FlametheSeraph
NO YOU ARE FA FA FABULOUS
FlatulentFerret
Oh, shaddap, you are magnificent https://youtu.be/M8-vje-bq9c
sadlittlevixen
just what i tought! lol
dragonfliesfantasize
I believe coinstar will cash those out for you for a 10% fee or something
Squeezit
at my holiday party I got a plastic knick knack you get out of a 25 cent machine
StrawberryCake88
You could get a special lady a sweet ass silk scarf or crown.
aardvark2k
I'll knit her a scarf, and if she wants a crown we'll go to Burgerking.
LadyArwen
But...but why?
Herefishyfishy
Maybe you can donate it to a women's shelter or charity? PS: I bet you would look like a pretty princess!
aardvark2k
I gave it to a woman at the party.
MerToo
Yeah, but you look amazing AF in a prom dress. Quit fighting serendipity, it's trying to help!
badgercat
take a girl you like shopping...
benjmonster
i'm an ugly, bearded 35yo guy. nice to meet you.
aardvark2k
High-five!
GetOffMyLawnYa
"Nieces"?
MetalGearRae
Correction: you are a bearded guy. You're not ugly bruh!
LionHeart31337
So.... What kind of dress did you get?
saganworshipper
I hate to be that guy but most of us are average. I'm okay with being average. Hang in there, aardvark!
wtoddp
Somebody, somewhere, thinks you are exactly their fetish. Plus, beards are in right now.
aardvark2k
Yay fetish! http://imgur.com/NGNy7tC this pleases me.
wtoddp
Lol nice
sharktoothache
Your beard is beautiful! That mustache is glorious.
aardvark2k
Thanks! I was having a l a me day, but this whole ridiculous thread has really cheered me up.
sharktoothache
Well good. I'll continue to hit on you until you feel better.
Sororita
that you? because if it is, you are way hot.
aardvark2k
Yup. Thats mah face. Thanks!
revcleo
I know many people who would love to see you in a well-fitting dress.
aardvark2k
Well. Huh. Guess I gotta figure out my pallete and find shoes...gonna need a little purse, too. Cross dressing seems like a lot of work.
revcleo
http://assets.rollingstone.com/assets/images/music/1999/galleries/pitt-dresses-to-kill/outpitt2-1998/64843_lg.jpg or just dressing
ThisIsALovelyRoomOfDeath
Get a lady in your life something purdy.
aardvark2k
I gave it to a young lady at the party.
Kycirion
Go buy an ugly dress and wear it to work, to show how much you appreciate their gift...
Theverant
Ooh you! You must get fired a lot!
aardvark2k
http://imgur.com/8IKMVyB bit cold for a dress.
DarkerTheVoidmage
-9° for those who use a relatable scale or 263 K for science people :Ü™
aardvark2k
263 Kelvin makes it sound downright cozy.
aardvark2k
I like your idea.
pikxl
You must deliver
aardvark2k
I do. Every day. I'm the courier for my company.
Animalcrackersinmehsoup
That makes it even better.
Medicei
Was it Promgirl?
aardvark2k
Tiny local store. Our District Managers are all mid-30s women with the "talk to manager" hairdo, and have delusions of elegance.
TallAsianGuy
YOU STOP THAT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE UNIQUE.
charlietrundlethegreat
LIKE A SNOW FLAKE. WITH BEARD.
hearttree
upvote just for this exchange
tentons01
YOU ARE A STRONG CONFIDENT BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN
BSIscenenotsafe
You is smart, you is kind, you is important
BetterUserNameThanLastTime
YOU IS BEAUTIFUL
RainyEvergreens
Especially with that new prom dress.
ElberethGilthoniel
Had to flick back to upvote as I loled.
aardvark2k
YOU'RE A TALL ASIAN GUY.
WiFiChaser
AND I'M A JAR OF DIRT.
TheJellybeanBanker
AND YOU'RE AN AARDVARK.
aardvark2k
How dare you! I can't believe you would say that! I....oh yeah.
TheJellybeanBanker
*Pats shoulder* Don't worry, you'll get over it eventually.
TallAsianGuy
I AM.
subparusersubber
OK.
aardvark2k
Right on. I'm totally not.
TallAsianGuy
by how much are you not? totally is an extreme word. I'm sure you might be partially.
BakingVikings
What's your ethnicity?
aardvark2k
Who?
Varroth
TALL, HOW YOU ARE?
TallAsianGuy
6'2
HiMyNameIsKevinIHaveChangnesia
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT.
Tsring
CAUSE WE TOTALLY CAN!