CalamityMammaries
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May 6, 2013 1:49 AM
CalamityMammaries
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5101
89
lalacee
Oh, you're half way through a long ass road trip? LOL
tossingEwoksIntoLakesOfMethane
apparently this the result for eating the last apple.
viewaskew
Those were SPECIAL apples. This is why we can't have nice things!
qwertytroop
Thank God I have a dick.
ImpersonatingOfficerBnard
lol menstruation jokes
bob7777777
. lol
BloodyRainbow
You're missing one thing: Vomiting while crying for mum on the bathroom floor even tho you're 22
viewaskew
That is ridiculously turrrible.
honeykiss
Officially the first lady-meme with legit wit. I laughed heartily. And then cried into my Oreos. Because, you know.
KAMAchameleon
Painfully accurate and a great laugh, period.
pockets24
lost it at " White Pants.....LOL"
KimmiStar
DIVA CUP - Your welcome : divacup.com
croaksac
seriously all this leak/stain stuff i'm just like lol peasants try using a silicone cup instead of just stuffing cotton up there and praying
miasanmia
Protip: you can swim on your period and you won't leak, the water pressure keeps the blood in or something. (I used to be a swimmer.)
TyrionLambister
This is only partially true. Most often it's a combination of the cold water, a bit of pressure, and the fact that light flow is washed away
serupento
yeah but there's always those few moments from the bathroom to the pool when you will. Also this doesn't help at the beach.
marinaisnotarobot
Goddammit. These are all accurate as fuck. +1
GivesMeTrills
Every vacation. Ever damn vacation.
SamuraiFoxes
After the last international beach vacation with tampons, I got a menstrual cup. BEST. THING. EVER. It's weird, but worth it.
girlsjustwannafinish
but aren't they hard to put on ?
SamuraiFoxes
Not so bad. Much like learning tampons, it takes some adjustment & education. Once you've got it, it's WONDERFUL. No leaks. Ever.
gingerbaconkitty
Same here, never going back. Cups may be weird but so much cheaper, environmentally friendly and so much easier.
GoALittleCrazy
YEP!
SamuraiFoxes
I try to preach their goodness when possible. If girls learned about cups when they learned tampons, we could get a whole generation going.
gingerbaconkitty
Same here, I wish they'd advertise them more.
globexcorporation
Please educate me. I saw a commercial for one a long long time ago but I don't know anything about them.
gingerbaconkitty
http://www.mooncup.com this is the one I have, http://divacup.com this one is really popular too. They are silicone cups that can be 1/2
gingerbaconkitty
reused for up to 10 years. They hold a lot of blood so you don't have to change them as often as tampons, they cost about $35 so they're 2/3
AsAGirlcomma
Commenting for future reference
TalkingFastSavesTime
thats bloody funny
SomethingReallyAmusing
That's bloody clever! GreenVote! =D
FrankieBlue
LOL! yeah...
FrankieBlue
Holy fuck, I laughed so loud at this. 4am and crying together was the best! The bf was confused as to why it was so hilarious.
CalamityMammaries
Lol understandable.
NonsensePoopyPantss
as someone who just struggled thru a night of agony from this exact reason, I know the feeling all too well. But I laughed anyway
FrankieBlue
We have to laugh - it's such a joke. Guys to have a clue.
serupento
i just realized the little bead is an egg -_-
Imonthebrutesquad
OOOH
CostumeNerd
+1 for Middle Earth Battle
falln9
I for one will be wanting to plan my honeymoon around my gf's period...
hilyarious
Literally not possible
PraiseMelora
You'll try, and you'll fail. That fucker knows when its vacation time!
surnamefortitsgirl
+1 for the egg.
Yulala
sleeve? only a sleeve? Usually it's that whole bag + chips + cheese + all the meat in the fridge that I can find....
ihadsnusnu
a period once a month the entire time you're fertile, which is an indeterminate time really... you can keep that one girls
illogicalphallusies
except when they're pregnant....which is kind of like natures way of making women WANT to get pregnant, propogating the species
ihadsnusnu
then pushing that baby out... for like 99% of existence without any kind of pain medication. once again, no thanks, glad i'm a guy.
tinkerbelldies
WHATEVER I GET TO WEAR PRETTY DRESSES!
ihadsnusnu
i can wear pretty dresses too. but once they're on me, they're not pretty anymore :(
JunKaiNg
The uterus looks kinda like someone from Adventure Time.
uhmusername
i love the fact that someone actually created a felt uterus for this
wronggengirl
Complete with an egg!
AmishYouAlready
It's probably terrible that I kind of want to own one of these. The felt kind, I mean - I have my own regular, body one.
momomeow
Actually, there's a company that does that. http://www.etsy.com/listing/115689841/bearded-woman-moustache-dapper-uterus?ref=shop_home_active
theboyskeeper
I like these too. http://iheartguts.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index&manufacturers_id=2&zenid=96luhgbli7qv79kpu80rutvrm7
yuyufan43
Holy shit, $50?! I'd rather pull out my own uterus and put a mustache on it!
SPAC3QUEEN
And even complete with the little bejeweled egg traveling from the ovaries. How cute!?
YallMothafuckasNeedCheeses
WHY CAN'T MY UTERUS BE BEDAZZLED?!
SPAC3QUEEN
lol...i'm totally picturing how this can be accomplished right now.
andrear2
I had someone knit one for me when mine was ripped out, as a replacement. They hand dyed the yarn & everything!
YallMothafuckasNeedCheeses
.....your uterus got ripped out?
andrear2
surgery :) not... literally...o_O
andrear2
via surgery ;)
Schweed
WHAT DID THEY DYE IT WITH?!
andrear2
KOOL AID! They hand spun the yarn too.
Hannahstarzz
As a woman who is in labor RIGHT NOW: fuck you, uterus.
taklingqueen3
this is so exciting that you were spending your moments in labor with imgur!
marieray
GET OFF IMGUR AND GO GIVE BIRTH!
Hannahstarzz
Believe you me, I would if I could!
Imonthebrutesquad
Good luck. Been there a few times. Try to relax as much as you can.
goodnessgracious
You went on Imgur while in labor? Hope it went well!
Hannahstarzz
Still happening! It is awful. :(
SquishyIshy
When you get to the pushing think of it as a game. Thats what i did and totally forgot about all the labor stuff.
Iappreciatethis
I do hope everything goes well! Good luck!
getmemylolly
I find it weird that these always come up when it's my "time of the month"...
IshouldBeInBedAlready
+1 for Sheet Art
leonardlikesthispost
So did all the Imgur ladies finally sync up? Feels like a ton of period posts this weekend.
marieray
Funny, I just asked that at the last menstrual related post. As a girl, the answer is yes we've all synched up.
TeacherBHMS
Bah hahahahahahaha
SadisticMammal
SO WHAT IF WE DID!!
reinaww
No, but girls spend about 3 months out of the year on their period so it makes sense that many are on it at the same time.
leonardlikesthispost
Yeah sure, if you want to be rational about it.
GozerTheGozerian
If that's the case, then... I AM THE MASTER COMMANDER!
maddy4114
OH MY GOD I THINK WE DID HOW THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!?!
bob7777777
If you live in the same house isnt there a myth that they sync? I saw it on Dr Oz or whatever
leonardlikesthispost
http://imgur.com/M9qfBOx
maddy4114
As a female with SIX SISTERS AND A MOM all in one house I can tell you that is no myth. I just want to know how we did over the internet.
bob7777777
I only have 1 sister so...
bob7777777
Hope you have fun with that
maddy4114
Sorta make you feel sorry for my brother huh?
TopangaLawrence
If that is true, men should just all avoid imgur for that week.
Procrastin8her
PCOS. Imagine one there with the caption "Oh I'm not visiting, I just wanted to ruin this particular set of undies."
xxallysaurusxx
^this
Procrastin8her
I could do a whole series in addendum to these, but I don't have the supply of alcohol and endorphins needed.
naughtydismutase
Almost all of these situations stop when taking the birth control pill. Yeah!
InternetHappenedThatsWHY
Can't. Got bloodclots and was temporarily blind from time to time. I cried all the time. And trying a different kind: period for 5 months.
SPAC3QUEEN
Not for me. I'm already crazy...but out of the 8 different types I tried, I went bat shit insane.
EtherealPoop
Dude, I get cramps so painful they put me on Vicodin. Now that I'm on the pill I have normal people cramps ;_; and week+ long periods.
LinBella
All the pill gave me was 15 pounds and severe depression... not worth it.
veryimgurwow
Were you on one that had as little hormones as possible?
LinBella
I tried the pill and then the patch. I'm terrible at remembering to take a pill every day, and I dont trust the ones with less hormones. (1)
LinBella
it just seems sketchy to me... why would you make a pill with MORE hormones if less works just as well? Maybe I'm being silly.
affinityoftime
My chest grew three cup sizes in 2 weeks, then I stopped taking it. Most painful thing I've ever been through.
binkybow
Wait wait wait, tell me more about the increase in cup sizes, that can happen?!
affinityoftime
Yup. Due to the hormones. Some women get it, others don't. I don't know too much about it, really. I'm not a doctor.
taklingqueen3
yup happened to me! I have a small frame and was 105 pounds. Went from a 32 B to a 32 DD and gained 10 pounds!
naughtydismutase
I feel bad for you ladies who don't tolerate the pill! For me it stopped the pain, gave me better skin and big boobs with no side effects.
gallopinggoldfish
Same here except for the cup size. I'm content, though.
pennemin
Best invention ever. I can postpone my period, it has become totally painless, and it takes only 3 days. Despite the cons - heaven.
alexiscarlough
Yep. I am so predictable on the pill I was able to schedule my wedding & honeymoon around my period YAY
LeeDee16
These kinds of situation are exactly why I started taking it. I spent so much of my teens years being paranoid b/c of my irregular cycle!
naughtydismutase
I get ya, sister
travelinaddy
Me too! It was awful, then all of a sudden...relief!
coolstoryme
Yeah! Now my period is my bitch!
sassyasssassafras
I LOVE THIS COMMENT.
colorsick
birth control pills? aka liberal slut candy...
AnnaKendrickLamar
I don't see how anyone can take someone who says "liberal slut candy" seriously. +1
Muffinburgler
Troll harder, darling.
ColonelCain
I hope you are joking.
colorsick
um yes... sandra fluke and all
TheUnbearableLightnessOfPooping
to me the side effects of the pill (mood swings, weight gain) are worse than an irregular period. But I use it.... bc sexy time
pennemin
Maybe ask your gynecologist for a different pill? Mine has no side effects, only advantages.
TheUnbearableLightnessOfPooping
I've tried two.. maybe third times a charm?
pennemin
Maybe. I guess it's worth a shot, you may be relieved of all your troubles.
veryimgurwow
One of my friends tried like 5 before she found one that works
kittymack
Going off birth control was one of the best things i've ever done. I feel really happy to let my body work how it was suppose to.
GinnaKABOOM
I get very suicidal when on the pill. I get to deal with Ultra absorbency tampons because I'm just fucked. Yes, ultra tampons exist.
biblio
Snap. I take NSAIDs. Ibuprofen, or (prescribed) mefenamic acid. Period is lighter and less painful :D
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GinnaKABOOM
Yeah no. Not doing 2 at once. I have to use Ultras and then back it up with an overnight pad. Fuck the organ known as uterus.
theysaidtherewouldbecats
I'm on the pill AND use ultra absorbancy. I still have these occurances, somewhere god is laughing
DingleBerries4Brkfst
They make hormone free contraceptives.
GinnaKABOOM
Condoms don't lighten periods. That's the point in taking the pill if it's not for birth control
DingleBerries4Brkfst
I was mainly thinking IUD's they make some that are hormone free, but after looking it up turns out those actually increase bleeding.
DingleBerries4Brkfst
I've always have taken hormone BC, and never really explored non-hormonal contraceptives. So I was talking out of my butt it seems.
GinnaKABOOM
Exactly. I'd love to take something with hormones to regulate the uterine slaughter that occurs monthly but hormones make me ragebeasty.
simfonic
Same way, I'd love to be on the pill but the side effects make it a nope. A year ago I found menstrual cups, seriously best thing ever.
emeralddawn
I love being on the pill! My periods are only 2-3 days max and I always know when it will be here
Radey
lol periods.
allkindsoffur
You feel like you have conquered womanhood and have magical powers :D
HarleyPoison
I've noticed I'm able to wear my normal jeans during my periods b/c of the pill. A definite plus-side to the pill.
SeeHowItGoes
I thought being on the pill meant you didn't get periods? I have been misinformed!
pennemin
Most girls I know take theirs for 21 days, then 7 days break, period sets in, then you start taking the pill again.
emeralddawn
It depends on the pill type. You don't have to have regular periods..you can skip a month if you need to. There is even a type where (1)
emeralddawn
(2) you only have 3 periods a year. You need to have a period every once in a while though for health reasons.
YallMothafuckasNeedCheeses
Yeah, I heard women get spotting on that pill. I'd rather just have one every month so I can anticipate it :)
DasDovian
^ There y'all just been educated!
SeeHowItGoes
Ah I see! Health reasons are usually good ones... Thanks very much for the info :)
InfinitusEquitas
Now do the male version of this, The Awkward Boner.
AnachronisticParabolaOfSuddenRomance
And make them kiss.
InfinitusEquitas
http://lolspots.opti.netdna-cdn.com/content.tiptoplolz/561996280487536.jpg
lambchopvkca
as a guy: lol
MonopolyLegend
Little felt boner is necessary to complete it.
KAMAchameleon
That...that would make my life, right about now.
InfinitusEquitas
http://www.awkwardboners.com/
KAMAchameleon
Close but no cigar, good sir! I meant an "Awkward Boner" meme :P
growingincircles
Yeah... not really comparable.
Kitastrophe
I would like to see a little felt 'awkward boner'
InfinitusEquitas
So apparently this is already a thing! - http://www.awkwardboners.com/
itsjustarugbro
If I had a penis, I'd have a very awkward boner browsing this site
breadstickez
How did some of these people not notice and/or try to do anything about these? Oh my god.
whyareyousosweatyiwaswatchingcops
Clicked on it and was blocked and reported by the IT-department at work. FML
InfinitusEquitas
Hmm, idk, went on it from home, and no problems. Best not to click anything with "boner" in the URL from work though...
GBowes
Why am I actually strolling through this site? I'm on page 3...
breadstickez
Made it to page 10. Forced myself to stop.
InfinitusEquitas
Because with the captions it's damn funny. I lost it laughing at the clown pic.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MikelAsInMichaelNotMickel
I was so nervous clicking on that.
InfinitusEquitas
Go slowly young one. Just the tip to start.
theoriginalpierce
Bro, as a male, seriously....just stand down. Awkward boners suck, but let's be real. Lets. Be. Real.
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Also, the gallery would have to be enormous to include all the common awkward boner situations.
justanotheroneofthosegenericlongusernames
Yeah, it isn't the same. If you got kicked in the balls every month, then I think we can start talking on the same level.
coehl
He said "male version of this." It was not implied that they were equal. We are doing this for laughs, not sympathy, right?
justanotheroneofthosegenericlongusernames
Sorry the way I said it made it sound like I was having a go at him, I was just making a point, I think it would be a hilarious idea
YoutubeCommenter
I don't think the implication was that they were equal, just that it was a meme he'd like to see. And I agree. Stand down?
InfinitusEquitas
Exactly... not equal, just funny. The other option was the Itchy Balls, but let's face it, not as funny.
CalamityMammaries
Lol, that's up to you, friend. Don't have a lot of experience in that area ;)
15buckslittleman
I remember when I was 14
LastRemainingUsername
walk around with a banana in your front pocket for a few days. you will come up with something.
Antfarmz
"a lot?" care to explain? did you dabble in penis for a while?
choccymilknya
Well, a penis dabbled in me for a while, if you know what i'm saying [;
TheEgolessEgotist
hehe I get it
MastrWigar
Haa, I get it because sex.
DarkRogue
As an imgurian, what is this sex you speak of?
InfinitusEquitas
http://www.awkwardboners.com/
hopethisisarelevantname
Thank you...I think.
MoreLikeBox
I clicked the link
CatsIsTheAnswer
I'm probably gonna leave it alone. Probably.
antsinpantsgirl
I really want to watch it but I'm in a library and the url doesn't sound like it's SFW.
MastrWigar
It's sfw-ish. You see boners behind cloth, so no real nudity.
InfinitusEquitas
Well, it's SFW, doesn't mean it would not get weird if someone saw you looking at it.
FrankieBlue
You can't masturbate your period away.
CalamityMammaries
hahahah!
freethelibrarians
minnow1776
Not with that attitude.
SoapyMammaryMasturbation
You're not trying hard enough.
InfinitusEquitas
I would imagine it would get messy.
RChrono
Only if the flow is really heavy, in my experience. Otherwise you can just do it in the shower and wash it away.
stutteringbob
It sounds like that story should not be limited to 140 characters. That's just not right.
Medmobster
.....I try anyways.
MySpecialBrand
it just depends
Hungrycatterpillar
Yeah next time I get an awkward boner in class I'll just spank the monkey...
mastershake28
perfect
CatsIsTheAnswer
"What? Do you have a better idea, Mr. Disgusted Teacher?"
SerratedGooch
Lol'ing so hard at this. You deserve a medal!
isolemnlyswearthatiamuptonogoodandshallnevermanagemymischief
Oh, wearing those loose jeans today? Let's make a tent!
MastrWigar
Oh, you're going swimming? Let me show you my appreciation as well!
NotAmused1001
Oh, you're just play wrestling with that boyscout? I want to play too! Wait...
TheSlimySack
Hey why aren't you swim-- "Because i would like to lie here and get some tan on my back OKAY?!"
isolemnlyswearthatiamuptonogoodandshallnevermanagemymischief
Oh, your friends mom is showing more cleavage than usual? Let me fuck up your friendship.
mavik
Look on the bright side: http://imgur.com/5HXxkq0
MIshipKE
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/294233/guys-i-just-gagged-o.gif
fortheloveofcake
oh my goodness. thats hilarious and I've definitely never seen that before.
sirenx8
The best part is when my uterus plays that "I'm going to make you think you're pregnant and start a week later" game.
smartcoco
I get that, but mine decides to play the "I'm going to randomly disappear for 1 month" game
RightYouAreKen515
Every fucking month, and I'm trying to get pregnant.....
Blaised
My period played hide-and-seek for about a week and a half once. Then it came right as I was taking the pregnancy test.
TheUnbearableLightnessOfPooping
the spend money you dont have on a pregnancy test because of your over active imagination is also a super fun game
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
i've played that game about twice. condoms and birth control and my mom STILL spreads her paranoia of me getting preggors -_-"
llli
Oh man, that just happened to me. Was two fucking months late, and I don't have a job, so forewent buying bread to buy some peace of mind.
realpolitik
Fun fact about contraceptive pills - they were originally going to make it so that you would NEVER get your period. Ever. Just totally 1/?
realpolitik
do away with them. But the guy (emphasis on "guy") who invented the pill (Pincus) claimed "women like having their period"
choccymilknya
NO UTERUS NO OPINION
noneofmycommentsreferencemypenis
I like to get my period to reassure myself that I'm not pregnant
TomRunagate
You sure it had nothing to do with the massive hormone levels required to pull that off, and side effects thereof?
realpolitik
Surprisingly, not really. Pincus had some notion that things should be kept "as normal as possible" as they were in terra incognita 1/?
realpolitik
with regards to physiology. However, once it became clear that they got the norethindrone /norethynodrel & ethinyl estradiol/mestranol 2/?
experttextpert
When you're trying to get pregnant it's just a terrible, bloody reminder that your body can't do the thing it's made to do.
Lem0nPledge
It`s not a bright side when you know for sure you won`t be since you haven`t had sex in a year.
DerpyDuck1
Aliens
GooglyEyedNopes
Well, God could still knock you up. He does that sometimes.
Emilizola
keep a watchful eye for creatures that could be Zeus.
Moriarty
Or golden showers. Shit will get you pregnant faster than you can say "WTF is this golden rain doing in my room?
nfbassman
Once, 2000 years ago. and people are still talking about it.
yesThatIsOnPorpoise
What if he does it all the time and we just don't notice because there's no kings to come visit to give us a clue maybe something's up?
ohgoddamnitcharlie
Someone should call Mythbusters about that one, imo.
pushyourluck
find a friend with benefits?
unhappilyeverafter
Easier said than done.
Lem0nPledge
Nah, I only do it with people I'm in love with.
Brickwheredyougetahandgreande
Hence the username!
stuckinhell
As a guy, it's sounds weird when I say that to other people. I just don't want an accident to happen and the child to feel not wanted.
ScarfCladHipster
ohemgee!! me too! i never understand how people can just have casual sex like that.
NiceHopping
For me, it's not connected to love as much. Conversation and compatibility mean a lot more to me romantically.
heterocera
The worst is being treated like a freak for this. I'm 45, and this still happens.
kanizor
Aye aye! Count me in on this "feel"!
Omgmoar
Well, I do think that there's a difference between having sex and making love. They can be separated, you know? But fistbump for romance.
Lem0nPledge
I feel physically sick just thinking about having sex with someone I don't love. It just feels wrong to me. Fistbuuuump :P
teddypicker22
then don't complain about not having sex.
ayebrows
She wasn't complaining, dumbass. Merely stating that there was no way that she was pregnant.
pushyourluck
and so many reasons for brownies.
Sarkofagen
It is very possible to have menstruation every cycle even when pregnant up until childbirth and has in fact happened to two people I know.
pandaslikebamboo
Would you then have to use protection? So you don't get double pregnant with one kid just 5 months in while the other one's ready to pop?
Sarkofagen
I never thought of that. I am not sure whether those menstruations are the real deal or just similar.
heterocera
I've asked the doctor, and no, this isn't possible. It is common to bleed because of thinner membranes and more blood, though.
Sarkofagen
Yeah that is what I meant. Menstruation-like bleeding :-) One girl got to her 6th month without knowing she was pregnant cause of those.
EndersShadow
I hate that motionless square in the bottom right.
emolta
I read it atleast five times as 'Motherless square', du'h.. :D
HoneyCakes
I feel like I had a better life before I noticed it...