IAmSailorMoonMoon
100297
1904
76
Feb 24, 2023 1:23 PM
IAmSailorMoonMoon
100297
1904
76
Vladraconis
chancellordemario
I too want to save a woman.
stilloldbull
“The Cradle of Civilization”.
Etereo
Calling bs on the description
bikergeek6249
How do you write "Help me, stepbro, I'm stuck!" in cuneiform?
Cooper1977
wtfylat
This is clearly Facebook level fake bullshit
keyblader1985
Nah they fuckin
Potato34343
"Hey Mike, we found ancient porn but we can't let people think it's porn. Can you dress it up so it sounds better than it is?" "You got it"
ahleron
They fuckin'
Cgumn
Did anyone else have a stroke whilst reading this?
cakeycakes
Wish my bf would save me from the river
OmnipotentBeing
Why is daddy hurting mommy?
PostalHeathen
Of course. That's EXACTLY what's happening here.
sjoera
How long does it take noticing the beard on ‘her’ …
SmokyDoggg
W-what are you doing step-Babylonian??
khuntCosmosSmuggler
My uncle saved me from a river like this. I just don't remember a river
xETM
+1 love the title
tumppu
Original sex tape?
Jordan7831
A true gentleman
AsAnItalianItsDifficultTalkingOnTheWebCauseIcantUseMyHands
Splitlicker
I knew living in a bus down by the river had its perks.
nightster07
Oh yeah? Well you're gonna be living in a bus down by the river, when you're living in a VAN down by the RIVER!
Splitlicker
My motivation business paid off. I upgraded to a bus. It doesn't run but the seats are roomier.
cosinewave
Adventures in the fertile crescent
thedorkitect
Frankly I’m in awe
captainhappen
welp there it is, top comment. +1
Ngugi
vakler
YouUselessTwat
I'd like to see that inscription. The concept of porn was well known to the ancients, and even stupid archaeologists know that. So I doubt.
cakeycakes
Did you not read? He was SAVING her! Gosh.
Jattetont
Also, the description given in the post is gibberish. "It is a barefoot in clay, depicted by a man"?
StanielRonathan
http://oracc.museum.upenn.edu/akklove/ seems to openly acknowledge it's ancient porn
Lostchild12
And here I was thinking it was another "conservative" museum curator.
Waxilliam
what? do you think someone would just go on the internet and lie? do you?
quzar
It's not that researchers wouldn't know what it actually was, but it was considered indecent to write about or describe in that way. It >
quzar
>wasn't until the 60s that you could find collections of Catullus' poetry that didn't censor Catullus 16. Certainly the ancients knew it, >
quzar
>but Christianity has had an 1800 year span of promoting the notion that such things are evil. And it's evil to look or talk about them too.
brianingram
Taking a refund for bad copper out in trade?
RedTailedHawk
I too wish to save someone from the river.
AtmaDarkwolf
alas friend, if only women wanted guys like us saving them from the river :P
Tigersterne
Kiff, I have saved a woman from falling in the river! Inform the men!
theimgurappsucksballs
KrampusCopia
Careful! If you save too many from the river, Sobek will hunger and claim the city!
kebabpipe
Is he saving her with his giant erection?
petpet3d
She was ready to end it after a hopeless dry spell. He saved her with some good dick
kickahippie
3 points of contact my friend, always 3 points of contact. OSHA says so
snotrocketscience
Do the cheeks count as one or two?
kebabpipe
Two if you're thicc
SuperIncoherentRantingMan
If you save her just right, you may even feel the splash of the waters.
Wylf
Not to be a downer, but this description is entirely made up. Image source seems to be this: http://oracc.museum.upenn.edu/akklove/ And (1)
Mattandparrot
You mean someone posted something on the internet that wasn’t true, how shocking
secondtalon
secondtalon
In all seriousness - I cannot believe anyone would think that was the actual inscription of two people obviously fucking.
HankScorpioCEOofGlobexCorporation
Is anyone going to comment on how abnormally long her left arm is?
zsuzsicica
'Depicting a copulating couple." "Published depth permission.' Lol
Imalwaysready
Thank you. I've known people in museums and I can't imagine them signing off on a full-on false description. They'd just not display it.
IAmSailorMoonMoon
It did display the "saving" phrase temporarily - Museum of Israel, but it was updated and word in the world it was an external website
JKGoose
The posters version is funnier.
LoquaciousDude
but also a complete fabrication, which people may take at face value and then think our perception of the past is more wrong than it is
Rystefn
No. They would look at it and think the museum was lying to pretend they aren't displaying porn.
LoquaciousDude
That’s not any better lol, it’s still lying to make a joke that can make people doubt experts if they believe it’s not a lie
otterman4
You're a lot of fun at parties explaining jokes, aren't you?
Wylf
it gives the following description: "Plaque depicting a copulating couple; Mesopotamia (Iraq); 2nd millennium BCE" (2/2)
ghsdkgb
You can even see the balls clapping her cheeks
PleaseRespectMyAsshole
This. This is the comment I came for.
Helveticus
Here we see two good friends who are just good friends. And one helps the other while they are both completely naked. Ah, friendship!
Bossvoss
Not just friends, also roommates! It was very common for good friends to live with each other and write friendship letters.
HelloThere1812
Held her in place using all three of his hands.
SmokyDoggg
If I had a nickel…
TheFishFace
For every time you heard the meme? Or every time you heard an actual historian do this?
KMakyra
Then you'd be 5 cents richer.
manulofdoom
And they were ROOMMATES!
PickledPete
Not something they did behind closed doors back then.
manulofdoom
They were STREETMATES!
CatsIsTheAnswer
I once saw two dogs humping on a sidewalk, asked my dad what was up. "Top one's old, young one's helping him cross the street". And I said:
CatsIsTheAnswer
I knew it: try to help someone, you'll get fucked in the ass. - One of my grandpa's favourite jokes.
Larktonguesinadicecup
The actual description says "copulating couple". It's been over a century since historians used euphemisms or avoided sexuality like that.
SalmonTheWise
Newton avoided sexuality by inventing calculus.
Larktonguesinadicecup
This site is weirdly obsessed with the idea that we just discovered the idea of plainly talking about sex.
michiyl
dasklaus
Every generation thinks they're the first to discover sex
ATragicallyCringeYahooID
Because every generation gets old and tries to brainwash the youngest generation into believing there is no fun sex.
dasklaus
There must be some selection and aging effect, too. People settle down with age, and the people raising kids aren't the most adventurous, 1/
DoctorPitt
Imagine you and your lady are fooling around and decide to get a little kinky and make sex tape only to have it displayed in a museum 4k
DoctorPitt
years later
KiwiGameDev
Ha, perfect comment cut
InnocentValley
Aw yiss, let the future generations know what a slut I was!
tmphillips11
q2grapple
Imagine holding the pose while the artist sculpts. Could have been hours. Like some kind of Mormon Soak
finesherbes
My brain just said "do the Mormon soak" a la Harlem shake.... Fuck my brain, for real
barzival
What ..(I'm already regretting this)... is a Mormon Soak?
manystripes
You could make it extra kinky and do a casting
whatsisname
https://pbfcomics.com/comics/one-time-thing/
TheStateVsThomasLight
That just sounds like pre-digital OnlyFans to me.
symmetry7
Sculpted with fingers - the original "digital" art.
ThankYouForYourTime
Honey! Why does the engraving bill have 243 charges entitled “saving woman from the river”??
maathimself
That sounds awesome, sign me up.
TheSwintonLion
“Sex tablet”
Shineupordown
i bet they would be hella proud
AsUpSoBelow
Hey as long as it's not called "look how bad they were at sex in 2023" I'd feel kinda proud maybe
TheS4ndm4n
Ugly couple mating.
CognosNerd
4k? Better resolution is not something you want when talking about sex tapes and me. Potato quality probably has too many pixels.
swanglemydangle
Imagine spatial audio of eating your partners asshole.
DefinitelyaHumanNotanAlien
I dare you to say something positive about yourself.
CognosNerd
My self deprecative jokes are hilarious and are mechanisms for deflecting my low self-esteem and confidence. Aced it
DefinitelyaHumanNotanAlien
I'm holding you to giving me a positive comment about your appearence... :)
CognosNerd
People love my company because everyone else feel really good about themselves. When I sit around the house I sit _around_ the house.
Newlife5454
My fat reserves will allow me to survive the coming US apocalypse while you weak skinny bitches shall perish without your muscle milk
ToSisPoS
I’ve not heard it called that before
DefinitelyaHumanNotanAlien
You too! I want a positive comment about your appearence on my desk ASAP.