remorsefulmango
104695
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What the hell is this...
Never received any dicks or glitter in the mail over the years, but here I am holding a massive douche someone sent me. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!
EDIT: For those asking, the link that is on the card in the box is DoucheDeliver.com
Pangs
Wonderful advertising. I'll get right to that website to send out a duffle of douches.
princeaizen
Nice commercial
shutupyourenotmymom
Maybe stop being such a douche and things like this wouldn't happen.
RecompostedSapiens
http://imgur.com/KWrTBKT
duerenhest
Are you a douche OP?
DragonsLoveTacosButHateSpicySalsa
Simple. You just take it and... http://imgur.com/7SCD5ut
whiskeyvillage
"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!". Gonna serve up a soft ball to the internet with that one. Hold on to your mouse there buddy
rchecka
At least someone bought you something with their own money, that's something.
iamjackscompletelackofcompassion
That's fantastic. Who sent it?
realbrickwall
Nice selfie.
KittyShades
Go Fuck yourself
TeamOneE
Douche.
warreeve
Obviously you are a douche
Aegis7
I got sent horse shit once with a letter telling me to reconsider my life
suburbanlegend101
"Random" must be a secret admirer.
Lefthandturnsignal
Clean out your ass?
FatalMushr00m
Another similar idea that is funny. https://dicksbymail.com/
JustAnotherCynicToo
Have you considered not being such a douche? Or maybe stop being a douche all together?
ResoluteDuck
Maybe not so random?
TheGiggityGuy
kiDDarknessssS
That's not just a douche, it's an anal douche.
Madejyalook
Anal douche? Is that any different from an enema?
PresidentObama69
You would know ;)
kiDDarknessssS
fireeternal
Seems like i don´t know what a douche actually is, and now im not sure if i want to know.
theimgurappsucksballs
Drewcas
Fineaddition.gif
DrBruleSaysYes
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
Contact the company that sent you it. Be like this person , insert your name, never got his douche. They should call you by the senders name
ButIBuildAThousandBridges
That would not work- source: I got stuck investigating a case where someone was mad they received a glitter bomb. They "don't keep records"
iPukeUnicornsAndRainbows
I would think the first thing customer service would say would be "Hi may I ask who I'm speaking with today?" Or something along those lines
PJVeddersGirl
Technically he didn't say he didn't know who sent it, just that someone did. You'd have an inkling surely, unless you're always a douche
chazez
Great thinking - hope company reps would be prepared for this though
Iusethis
They ask you to verify the purchace
IHaveNightmaresOfMidgetsThrowingPicklesAtMe
@op we found the sender !
Scottchr
numberonespongebebfan
Bamboozled again
IStandBravelyAtTheGatesOfUsersubAndSpareYouManyWoesCasual
Let's try to narrow down possible senders. Who thinks you're a douche?
BigBadBillyBoy
I do.
Corki
as a delivery driver... there are at least 6 REGULAR customers that i would LOVE to send some flaming radioactive explosive shitwaffles....
FrozenFoodGuy
Just 6..?
remorsefulmango
Good question, either someone really doesn't like me or it's my friends
msa011
But you don't have any friends op
ourari
To whittle it down further: Who would be willing spend money to call you a douche, but would prefer to do it anonymously?
Incrementor
Or, who would be willing to spend money to call you a douche, regardless?
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Ahh....Grandma.
ChancesAreIamMasturbating
why dont you take that and shove it up your butt
hybridwong
You only want to know so yiu can masterbate to it later
ChancesAreIamMasturbating
who is this Yiu.
hybridwong
*you
hybridwong
This is why I usually have a no drink+imgur policy. Damn typos.
wenoc
*masturbate
sentientseven
ilovecars
Hahaha perfect response
gunznammo27
When does that thing grow arms and start juicing
Chickenlicker
Never. It's got a bent nozz.
Arsikere
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--RuCnEv6b--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/18hgigy1j6tesjpg.jpg
PleasePleasePleaseHireMeForFreelanceWebsiteDesign
IGOTTHATREFERENCE.GIF
kissmyash
Down ta douche
Gasnia
Sick, bro. Your juice is leaking out.
Chickenlicker
I couldn't understand why juicy boxy was a dude. Juicy's anatomy clearly resembles a girl's rather than a boy's
ian1035nr
Under normal circumstances, you do suck from a straw, which is pretty phallic. I'm assuming that's why.
Chickenlicker
Yeah I guess. Can't deny that his 'wound' looks like a gaping vagina though!
erichwithanh
either your a jerk or someone wants you to have a clean butthole.
formermayorquinby
Why not both?
ReadOnlyMemories
You're
erichwithanh
yea I saw it after I pressed post. I'll commit seppuku when I get home.
cyberspork
please, spelling mistakes are unforgivable in glorious imgur. just as @sarah (please dont hurt yourself)
erichwithanh
did you just misspell "ask"?
cyberspork
;_;
kcufuck
That looks like a pretty high quality douche. And just like murders, these things are sent by those you know or even care about deeply. 1/2
kcufuck
Mention it to your circle and see how they react. If it's a friend they'll give themselves away quickly. If it's an acquaintance who truly
kcufuck
Doesn't like you, their denial will seem weird followed by a subject change or trying to leave the area.
mousemarie94
Or they will ask more questions and seem interested, he/she may never find out