FSMPirate
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Mar 24, 2016 10:40 PM
FSMPirate
92907
4703
75
beerire
Why. Why are we protecting these fucking things?
ihatethetv
As a Floridian:Come at me bro!
BendydickWaffleSmack
Yea, but Florida is Australian prep school...
zma123456
And I was thinking of going down to Florida.
kagirinaku
I live in florida and have never seen or even heard of this tree. Its not common. [At least in SW region]
jimmythehat1
salt the ground or bleach it.
WilliamYamka
I had to Google it, but you're right.
apoorgradstudent
The whomping willow would disagree
YouveCatToBeKittenMeRightMeowww
"Try it, Adam. The apples are delic-" -Eve
dedpaen
"But where could we send people if we don't want them to survive and come back?", said His Majesty.
lphotogurl
It would be absolutely hilarious is someone would write a version of "The Giving Tree" with this type of tree.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Well look who won the fucking evolution lottery while humans can't fly, douchebag tree.
Mcknizzle
This tree can fly, too!?!?
Darkspire
From the makers of the Tarantula Hawk Wasp, we give you...the burney blindey tree.
Treblaine
Why the fuck did a tree evolve so that it discourages its fruit being eaten!?!/
LariCheltsy
It can cause pain so severe men have commited suicide.
icookfoodandfightfire
thats a different plant, you're thinking of the gympie gympie plant
LariCheltsy
There it is!
icookfoodandfightfire
the recommended treatment for exposure to the stinging hairs is to apply diluted HCl and remove the hairs with wax
mosstheboss
Convenient that it's a tree, then
MiloCoatedBanana
Boom
LariCheltsy
http://imgur.com/sZm8bUu
trophygeek
"Standing beneath the tree during rain will cause blistering of the skin" wikipedia. WTF
trophygeek
Best endangered species ever: "The manchineel tree is listed as an endangered species in Florida"
trophygeek
sauce: http://florida.plantatlas.usf.edu/Plant.aspx?id=2806
EarCheese
Australian here and never heard of it.. I am ashamed
sendmeyournoodsplease
You can't fool me! It's the goddamn tree of knowledge! You just wanna keep all the know to YOURSELF don't you! Fuckin greedy!
2kilo
Bitch please, you got like 3 thing that can kill you over there, come back to me when you have a real problem.
KiffOfTheSouth
Nuke it and the apples turns into fruity mutant zombies that kills humanity.
mordrul
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchineel Holy shit, you're not kidding...
DarthFutuza
I discovered the title was backwards though, it's native to Florida not Australia.
samsonguy920
Makes you wonder if this was the inspiration for the fruit found by the kids in the Star Trek episode 'The Way to Eden.'
samsonguy920
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0708482/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3
highqualityraterotica
Fucking bacterial superinfection!
bpfd
Related reading: the gympie gympie bush
IWrestledABearAndWon
Came here to mention the same thing. It's pretty brutal.
iamDonJohnson
It's listed as an Endangered Species in Florida, at least that's what the wiki said.
droptableusers
Listed as an endangered species in FL. WTF? What would get any where near it?!?
AllOutOfEucalyptus
Florida Man.
ImUglyIRL
LOL
droptableusers
Well played, sir.
PhoenixUNDRfitr
Dear god, I love in Florida. Didn't know I was in danger of death blister trees
cheeseguy3412
Whatever you love in Florida, don't love that tree - that sounds like it would sting.
Tiiny1267
Hurricanes
theloneponderer
People on bath salts
BatteryLife
I think a cop accidentally touched one once and it took years for his pain to go away in his hand
Kircala
and the example of something that does like this tree: garrobo (striped iguana)
TheCrazy88Horse
I'm surprised it isn't Australian to be honest.
sweepingfrequency
Killed Ponce de Leon?! Never knew.
swaptrick
Being from Florida, I like watching tourists get within a few feet of gators to take a picture. Gators can run 25 mph and climb fences.
SmellOfMonkey
Picturing an alligator doing the scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
TheVikingKing
Ever seen a salty mate? I don't fear alligators.
MyOtherUsernameIsOP
You're a salty mate, ain'tcha?
ragingzealot
Can but they won't. Most of the ones you come across in the touristy areas are so fat and lazy that at worst they might hiss at you.
TyEnglish1
This is untrue because they end up killing those gators because people feed them, and they start expecting it. -Lived in Florida all my life
ragingzealot
PonytailDude
Too bad they can't score a touchdown.
Nearlyburly
I didn't know they can climb. That's both cool and terrifying. I mean I'm not from Florida so all I have to deal with are bears.
NoImDirtyDan
Is that the same as the Poisonwood?
sippinOnCups
No poison wood is different, manchineel is only found in rural coastal areas, it's been removed from other places. I've been tagged by both
twtoppings
Even the trees. Even the gosh dang trees.
Shimobe
I've seen The Happening, by M. Night Schyamalamadingdong. This doesn't surprise me.
DueDiligence
God damn*, Mr. President.
Nalvor
It doesn't grow in Australia it grows in the are around the border for north and south America
Whatismypurpose
Did I miss something? What does this have to do with Florida?
BumNanner
Manchineel is native to Florida, not Australia as one would expect of a highly murderous plant.
Sinaloense79
According to wiki it doesn't mention being native to Australia.
DarthFutuza
It's native to southern and northern America, mostly around the Caribbean region.
FSMPirate
That's the joke
Sinaloense79
Sorry op took me a minute
FSMPirate
No worries at all! I myself was surprised to find out that this magnificent "fuck you!" from nature was not in Koala land myself
SlutAtNight
Maybe cut the naughty tree down?
Orcus424
It helps to prevent beach erosion due to it's roots stabilizing the sand.
namiasdf
Then you have two tree, tree always wins.
sippinOnCups
We have mostly here
SlutAtNight
Jeez Sounds dangerous
HungryPumpkn
Then it falls in your direction and crushes you to death.
TheBasementNerd
It'll probably turn into a tree demon and blister your eyes
keyblader1985
It shoots out lava.
ratchethatchet
Guys, I have an idea:
And stay clear til the dust settles. No one even has to go near it.
JTechnopotheosis
somebody has to clean out that machine eventually
gamblingpoet
The tree will probably possess the machine and suddenly we have a tree-machine monster running around killing people.
jesusisherelookbusy
WIIIIITH........... A HERRING!!!
mille919
Its endangered and won't hurt anyone who isn't stupid.
marshawnlynchatapressinterviewsaying
Where one shall fall, two shall rise.
greenbottle22
+1 For naughty tree
JTechnopotheosis
what, and risk making it mad?
fuck123456789
its endangered, also no
TheReaper95
Well if it's a dangerous caustic plant that can kill then it isn't needed. Simple.
GunnersMateFirstClassPhillipAsshole
Not needed by humans, other animals and insects use it. Wanton destruction is disgusting
muttonchoppa
why just no? growing a lab of them, adding to the seed bank... then just ending the fuckers seems reasonable to me.
ThatsNotWhatHeSaidThough
The world is full of people who think their set of values outweigh common sense. You're right, who cares what that fool says?
linustheman
bulldozer.....c4.....a truck....im sure there is a way
CainLolsson97
Yes there is a way. Hydrogen bombs
LariCheltsy
Somebody wood make that joke...
Shadow0mori
IF you cut it down it grows another head.
SlutAtNight
So it never dies?!
winsol
Hail Hydra!
NotPatches
I ran into a bunch of these in Curacao and even accidentally touched one and didn't die. (1/2)
NotPatches
Unfortunately their sap is such a strong irritant that removing these trees requires specialized equipment. (2/?)
NotPatches
Bonus fact: Iguanas are the only thing on the island that could eat the fruit and even they avoided it. (3/?)
NotPatches
For those unaware; iguanas are essentially the panzers of the lizard family which I guess makes the death apple the panzerfaust
Stuebydoo
MOAR facts!
potentiallyunsafe
I'll let you run the saw on that one.
SlutAtNight
You take the proper precautions, and I'll supervise
potentiallyunsafe
Level B PPE with an SCBA and I might consider it
SlutAtNight
Get studying!
welpthatdidntwork
???
potentiallyunsafe
Studying?
FSMPirate
The sap is caustic. And sitting under the tree during rain causes blisters as well
lmLying
The tree is native to the southern caribbean btw
lmLying
Islanders who go outside are immune to it. Tourists or basement dwellers get totally ripped up
Ghost0fDawn
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
BlueSpaceLizard
So some sort of hat would be in order
BadPornNames
Should have just named the tree "Because Fuck you"
SlutAtNight
Isn't there a tree or plant that if you touch it, the pain is so bad that people have killed themselves?
HeyGuysAmIRelevantYet
I know there's a stone fish that does that
BlueSpaceLizard
Is his name Bob? I think I know him, he's a real dick.
DennisDoesStuff
The Gympie Gympie plant.
Tsring
Saw one in Australia while biking. The bike guide said, if you touch that, you'll regret it...
SlutAtNight
I believe I live nowhere near one, but if I did, I'd be that jerk that fell onto it
Nccoffee
I looked it up https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides
MrFBI
Thanks! Just another motivator to never go to Australia.
Kaylakliche
I wanna know who found out the fruit was edible "If the stinging hairs that cover it are removed". Who was brave enough to try it first?
BlueSpaceLizard
This plant isn't merely 'Metal', it's molten shards of depleted uranium spikes under your fingernails Metal.
HalloIamherenow
Holy Shit! The only way to treat the stings is to burn it off your skin with Hydrochloric acid! Then you need to wax the area!
ImUglyIRL
I have this urge to experience that pain for whatever reason.
KeepTheCheese
I have eaten the fruit of this tree and survived. Ended up in the hospital though. 10/10 would do it again. So tasty.
owlest
why would u do that
KeepTheCheese
I was informed that it was OK to eat by a non-local who I mistook for a local.
owlest
what the fuck
DarthFutuza
Ya just gotta eat a little bit everyday to build up an immunity.
Fahargo
i wonder if that would actually work
DarthFutuza
Most poisons work that way, so I wouldn't be too surprised if it did.
Flippington
source?
DarthFutuza
Also it's the same principle of how vaccinations work.
DarthFutuza
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithridatism
mandy62390
Really? How did it feel?
icookfoodandfightfire
pleasantly sweet at first, with a subsequent strange peppery feeling progressing to a burning, tearing sensation and tightness of the throat
icookfoodandfightfire
from the wiki page
[deleted]
[deleted]
MadScientistHououinKyouma
I know. Who lies on the internet? Now if you excuse me I'm going on a date with Idris Elba and watch a private performance from David Bowie.
KeepTheCheese
Also followed by gut wrenching spasms, vomiting, the sweats and crying.
KeepTheCheese
Exactly!