ruffcats
584356
7410
312
Part 70: http://imgur.com/a/ZFuDB
Part 72: http://imgur.com/gallery/ksObU
Twitter for updates: https://twitter.com/ruffcats
Message me your confessions!
MichealMoore
It's because he lives in a pineapple under the sea.
ifyouarereadingthisyouwillsooncometotheconclusionthisisnothing
No one is mentioning the hayden tinypanties one?
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
It's Panettiere.............pan - ah - tee- air
ifyouarereadingthisyouwillsooncometotheconclusionthisisnothing
Joking on the fact she wears tiny panties and rhymes with panettiere
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
*checks shorts* I can confirm this.
ifyouarereadingthisyouwillsooncometotheconclusionthisisnothing
I am to believe you are Hayden... And confirming that you are in fact wearing tiny panties...
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
Really, there is no better underwear.
satanismybitch
I've never fucked a 10, but I fucked 5 two's... -George Carlin
Fincozmoz
Cryogre: Don't tell your dad. Ever.
sistersirius
Plot twist: The dad could tell.
imgurianthefirst
It smelled..
IMightBeGaspodeTheWonderDog
"Yeah dad onetime I used your razor to shave my asshole." "Alright son, thanks for letting me know." -not realistic
Munakukka
i tried to laugh silent, it sounded weaping.
wengocerrones
Seriously. Wtf for even doing this
swimbikerunrepeatswimbikerunrepeatswimbiwhatwasidoing
Not if you know what's good for you...
HeyFreckleFace
Awww, @Sittingonabigblueboxlolwtfmars *rubs legs on you*
Sittingonabigblueboxlolwtfmars
I will cherish this message forever!!
Kokomeeps
I am also in, but I'll have to shave >.>, because I know how you felt. It always gets better.
HeyFreckleFace
:D
ffips
I do the same thing as you. But it's because I'm a cyclist. Girlfriend ended up loving it.
Sittingonabigblueboxlolwtfmars
I use that excuse, too. ;)
theimguring
Hayden Panettiere is a freeeeeeak
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
AWW YEAAAHHH!
youareawonderfulperson
Woke up three hours later after being knocked out? Probably still thinking about it because she's unable to form new memories
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
I laughed really loud. Thank you.
Lpbekka
Anyone else think the two drunk guys clubbing would end in a blowjob? Just me?
Smushalush
Just bros helping out bros
11II0O0
It seemed like it was going to a "and I blew him" place.
Lpbekka
The Internet has it so we expect porn
ISuperBelieveInYouTadCooper
$20 is $20
ashmenon
Definitely.
twilightvulpine
I just wonder if his friend was telling him that for a reason. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
LDedlock
I still think it did
LosPer
$3k is a lot of money to learn just how to make out. I would have hoped cunnilingus would be on the syllabus....
yourspellingisbadandyoushouldfeelbad
the 6'5" husband finished 2 hours and 55 minutes earlier
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
At least he didn't do me while I was out.
DidaChikDumaChum
I too use imgur for porn. Not intentionally but usersub is always filled with softcore porn.
magesinger
I found it searching, hot teen asses which got me to r/realgirls and then months later I bumped the gallery button.
jessicacupcake
r/nsfw_gifs is my go to when I don't feel like watching a 30 minute video of the same thing. Or don't know what I'm in the mood for.
TomAtofromPalletTown
"softcore" hah! yeah okay, mate.......
petranamib
Where am I that I keep missing all the soft core porn in user sub? I keep hearing about it and not seeing it. I thinks it's a myth.
Oojoomi
It is. Years ago imgur had wondrous nsfw parties
reginaphalangebananahammock
r/nsfw_gif and r/nsfw_gifs are my favourite (I also like r/massivecock)
EndersShadow
Don't forget r/realgirls
tacocat
r/milf
karlthatkillspeople
Sometimes while browsing I get horny and have to go to porn sites
tacocat
Imgur gallery is like a porn kickstarter
tyler04
Hayden panettiere said wha?!..... oh...
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
Oh yes!
feastyoureartonguesonthesememorypops
DrunkenDavelsDrunk is Squidward before he tried a krabby patty.
DrunkenDaveIsDrunk
Is that a good thing?
Crookedjaw13
No.
garyjwu
no one got the wladimir klitschko reference?
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
It was implied. Who else would it be?
clairbear
Is that actually Hayden Panetierre ?!
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
Yes. I love your username. Thanks for still being a fan.
clairbear
Always. I loved your protest in the cove. My brother says send a pic with you and your toothbrush for factual proof. Its my nickname :)
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
I don't know...I like my toothbrush.
clairbear
Fine, I guess I'll just have to believe you.
ReptilianOverlord
Fuck I missed #70
bmw5st
I think he deleted it. Someone commented that nobody follows him on Twitter because he's conceited (or something to that effect) and (1)
bmw5st
a bunch of people agreed. Guess he thought nobody would notice? I go back and read ones I missed all the time. (2)
Jardok
Glad you specified hetero married, unlike that last "98% hetero" guy that was here...
SteppedOnALego
I logged in just to upvote you.
ThePoliceofficer
C'meere baby, I want to inpregrape you
otakudan
You want some tentacle grape in your mouth? http://www.jbox.com/product/TEN001
Oyarsa
I think you need an analrapist. I know a pretty Funke one.
iamthisguy247
Ugh, more of this GRape culture.
AwkwardKyle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZoiJM1vlfc
whydididothat
Yes
KateUptonsNipples
IM GONNA TIE YOU TO THE RADIATOR AND GRAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH
ThePoliceofficer
I spat toothpaste out of my nose laughing so hard
ticklishpear
TWKYK!
ThatAsianGuyKevin
"HOW DARE YOU DO GAY PORN wearing our jersey! When I said take one for the team, I didn't mean it like that"
jax1280
It was a team effort.
mtgtcg
I felt bad upvoting this from 69 to 70....
icypants
What about take one FROM the team...?
groundcontroltomajortom7
Whole new meaning to playing for the other team...
aManWithNoPants
actually that has been around for quite a while
ChangedFillerLetsSeeWhatIChooseLater
No reservations about making out with a stripper?
IMightBeGaspodeTheWonderDog
*cough* herpes *cough*
zenandtheartofmadness
he said "stripper," not "leper."
11II0O0
Pretty skeezy but how much worse is it really than making out with some random bar trash?
Smushalush
Strippers are the coolest people in the world. seriously.
homicidalslayer
If high end strippers here in Pittsburgh have health insurance, I'd imagine the ones in Vegas definitely do.
reginaphalangebananahammock
I'd like to know what she taught him
ashmenon
Personally I'd love to go for kissing / makeout classes.
ChangedFillerLetsSeeWhatIChooseLater
Oh, so would I, I'm just not sure I'd want her to "show" me.
reginaphalangebananahammock
good point. I thought you weren't allowed to touch strippers anyway
notme222
$3000 and a back room do a lot for "allowed to" rules. Hell, the stories I've heard make that sound really overpriced for kissing.
ChangedFillerLetsSeeWhatIChooseLater
That's the usual rule, but I guess some voluntary contact was allowed since he'd paying thousands for VIP treatment.
thegreatbrandinocirca1984
some clubs allow a little touching
edwardelricsnipples
*spits out tea* There's porn on Imgur?!
VesselOfHate
imgur.com/r/spacedicks
WhereTheWildGooseGoes
You. You I like. +1
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
imgoni">gur.com/"">ewild">i">gur.com/">gonewild">imgur.com/r/gonewild imgur.com/r/redheads imgur.com/r/realgirls imgur.com/r/blondes
StillNotYouTube
lots and lots and lots. it's all the subreddits.
Efreeti
GOBS of it.
LiterallyCanada
imgur.m/r/nsfw">i">com/r/ns">m/r/nsfw">imgur.com/r/nsfw imgur.com/r/nsfwhardcore imgur.com/r/nsfw_gifs
TimothyTRiG
imgur.com/r/twinks
rooble
Wut? http://imgur.com/r/nsfwhardcore/RTI5G7f nsfw obviously. I mean..just look at that url.
SpikeCanKickLestatsAss
plus, you know, imgur.com/r/porn Can't believe nobody else said it.
fatfloats
"Dammit, Dave, don't lose it now. Keyboard... monitor...floppy disk...hard drive... FUCK"
[deleted]
[deleted]
HitEmWithTheK
hi
TheMonsterWithinYou
OMG MY BOYFRIENDS NAME IS DAVE and he's into building computers etc and I'm a virgin myself...my first time is doomed to be like this.
YesImProductive
I'm so sorry for you.
Barley426
No dave you don't want the floppy disk you want the hard drive.
SirHakase
Once you have the hard drive, you're going to have to RAM it well.
LopsidedStapler
1 gig, 2 gigs, 3 gigs...
RogerAlexander
Giggidy.... Giggidy......
Khanecz
She wants the D:/
marcusucram
I gotta turn my floppy drive into a hard drive and RAM this motherboard.
jakeonehalf
Addi R2, R0, 255!
Biostar01
5.4Ghz ccta-core with hyper-threading and virtualization! 5 1Tb SSDs in RAID 0! AW YEAH Thescribz!
imtoolazytothinkofabettername
"RAM...motherboard...volatile memory...solid-state drive....Shit just give me a second babe."
dyxj
RAM... motherboard... https://imgur.com/NOECI0s.gif
dyxj
Not really, no.
ToxicPineapple
Uh huh. Paging Dr. Freud to the comments section.
quicklyboysgetonmyback
Does the Spongebob one seem slightly out of place or is it me
LobcockLittle
It's disgusting none the less.
CappyMcSpazzotron
It's like how squidward never had a krabbypatty then are one, found out he loved them, then exploded.
OneLastSmile
IT GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR THIGHS!
BecaauseImBatman
I've actually never watched Spongebob (I don't watch a lot of TV in general), but I'm not going to "confess" to not watching it.
Bro4dway
We just got your confession on record.
shinagami091
Well no wonder they dont get it if they haven't seen any episodes. A lot of the humor is similar to what's found here.
AssamLaksa
ah, but he has heard of spongebob.
AndySlash
not just you, but it's also dumb. "i just don't get this thing i've never watched!" well, no shit assclown. rocket scientist, that one.
DrunkenDaveIsDrunk
Just saying, the voices sound like nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm not saying you are wrong for liking it.
BrotherhoodOfTheTaco
That was my thought exactly.
KleineDeutsche
I read that in a Glasgow accent. Don't ask me why.
allonsybadwolf
I hate when I hear people complaining about shit they've never watched/read. I'm like HOW DO YOU KNOW THEN, HMMMM??!?!?
Imgonnatipyouwell
I don't need to watch Honey Boo Boo to know I hate it.
tacocat
right? It's like being a virgin and saying you hate sex
jessicacupcake
I've read all the Twilight books and seen all the movies, just to make sure my hatred is founded. It is.
NightRush
Same, I've read them to check what my little sisters were all raving about. They do suck. Good thing they figured it out growing up.
allonsybadwolf
Hahaha yeah I loved the books the first time I read them when I was like 14, but I tried to read them again and just ugh. No. Very bad.
split
I've had a similar experience. Just... no.
jpparkenbone
How many people on here do you think read/watched twilight and listen to just in beiber?
captainpizza
a) read passages from twilight, not a whole book b) I don't object to his music, just him as a person
r4c7
I'm sure most have heard a JB song.
allonsybadwolf
Seriously! Fuck! I'm not a fan of Twilight but I've fucking read it and it drive me crazy when people hate on it. FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS UGH
jpparkenbone
But then we can't circlejerk.
GittOffMee
Alright guys, I admit it. I liked the Twilight books. Didn't like the movies, yet I was 30min early for 1st Sunday showing each opening wknd
mrNobody1337
It is also a lie, everyone who has been drunk has seen spongebob...
DrunkenDaveIsDrunk
Hey there are always outlying data points.
redrovered
I've been drunk frequently enough, but I still haven't seen any more than a few minutes of spongebob.
Efreeti
I have never watched Spongebob.
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
There are a few people who have never been drunk. Source: I am one of them (And no, not a religious thing for me. And I'm over 30)
DrunkenDaveIsDrunk
Yeah... but my user name...
AwesomeMixVol6
But you have seen SpongeBob?
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
Yes. Yes I have. I do like the show, I admit.
ZiggyArcticfur
Out of place like a nudist black jew at a Klan rally
DrunkenDaveIsDrunk
Can I make that my new title?
glaedn
TIL Hayden Panettiere actually is her character on heroes, and, as expected, likes it rough.
RichardHalpert
Nothing like some frozen peaness to get her off.
EndersShadow
I talked to her on here and then saw her in this post and just paused. I'm pretty sure I would have been super awkward if I knew this before
Efreeti
Nah, the character wouldn't be bleeding three hours after.
glaedn
Well obviously you're doing it wrong ;)
ffips
It's about her relationship with Wladimir Klitschko
picturesarenice
Not scolding him for being on the site, just for wearing the team jersey. Hahaha
theovermynd
Well you dont go to a straight porn site if you like vagina.
AdrianAmato
He could be concerned for his safety. If it's a college team that'll make it a hell of a lot easier for someone to stalk him.
ImGettingPaidForThis
Acceptance.
knittaplz
well he was watching gay porn to begin with
ThatDirtyOldMan
This.
FandomUndecided
He was clearly looking up brownie recipies
Mickstack
FriedMcPickles
More like pudding recipes. ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°)
FugitiveLucha
As in pudding his dicks up his ass
gopms
Oatmeal cookies if I remember correctly.
ClassyGiraffe
I hear they pack a lot of fudge into those brownies
alicefreak47
They even manage to get a couple of nuts in there too.
FandomUndecided
Classy~
FandomUndecided
What the fuck do you go on gay porn sites for?
choppin
mostly to jerk off to
ChaosLierLen637
Brownie recipes.
althanan
Oatmeal recipes.
ItsFilthyFrankMotherFucker
What the fuck do you think?
dEXm64
I think we need a link...for obvious reasons.
ticklishpear
Commenting in the hope that someone delivers...
ConfuzzledPuzzles
Someone tell e if this comes true. For reasons.
datgingerbeard
yupp
HommeDeBois
it's like seeing former Marines with moto-tats in porn (any kind). Instant reaction: dude, cover that shit up, you know better than that!1/2
HommeDeBois
or 'holy shit man, that tattoo is so moto it's gayer than the dude who's sucking you off!' (or so I've been told) <.< >.> <.<
SageyWagey
See, we are becoming a more opened minded society!
jax1280
And I honestly felt scolded, like I did a bad thing.
DJJizzyJeff
Must've been awkward telling him, that he watched his porn.
squiggy07
as somebody who played rugby.....this sounds about accurate lol. animal's sport played by gentlemen.
chucknasty
Just like Jenny from Forrest Gump wearing her college sweater
Icannevercomeupwithagoodorwittyusernamepleasehelp
I have a great story about something like that, but FERPA say I can't.
tobias1792
Fuck FERPA. Tell the damn story.
sleetewayne
Remain vague, change the names of those involved, and slightly embellish? Let's hear the story!
Charlylimph
I think that one is my favorite.
LeftCollectionBlueBird
No one is mentioning the guy was one a gay porn site to begin with. So porn star and teammate are gonna frick.
LeftCollectionBlueBird
on*
ConfuzzledPuzzles
Pornstar probably isn't gay, the watcher is. Could be a tad awks for them.
shinagami091
Yeah, they should have sex and film it. Rugby players are hot.
xrkyle
no he was on the porn site, meaning he is the porn star
kevinallover
Oi bruv, you suck a mean bell-end. Fancy a bum?
killerpolarbear
It's what I do. "Congrats on getting laid, but come on dude, you wear that during the games."
TittySprinklesFreeman
Dude it's okay. No homo.
NSFWThatShit
Hahahaha
vulpesvulpes
Teammates
yallcrazy
I see what you did there, @HaydenPanettiere
AudentesFortunaAdiuvat
What did I do?
ToolAddict
I feel so fucking normal..
JanitorsApprentice
as a guy who has been on these... i can't relate...
stevetehpirate
You shouldn't, I read what you said in chat... you foot lovin' bastard!
knittaplz
i swear a variation of this is top comment every time Stay Classy is posted
Sreds
This and the 'I found a stay classy in user sub!'.
Imgurprettymuchsucks
Well all the examples in Stay Classy are variations of each other.
SpicyMonkey
it just makes me feel like i live an uninteresting life.
WhereLBJsNutsHang
Where is the REAL Serj?
ToolAddict
Captured by LBJs nuts :(
WhereLBJsNutsHang
AND WHERE ARE THEY!?
haroldstickyhands
LOL this guy deleted part 70 because the top comment pointed out how much of a prick he is. luv it
justnoticed
ruffcats even changed his "ARE YOU FOLLOWNG ME ON TWITTER? WHY NOT?" that was at the end of every "Stay Classy" post.
WhosThatPokemon22
Oh my god he did! Haha!
RepublicofTexa
rumblings and grumblings, is foreshadowing a downfall? For the record, I'm a fan, but there is the Dane Cook law, you can only become 1/
RepublicofTexa
so big, before everyone starts to turn on it
idonotthinkmyusernamemeanswhatyouthinkitmeans
what did it say?
haroldstickyhands
The top comment was "I don't want to follow your twitter because you always brag about yourself" essentially, got 2K+ likes, I believe
idonotthinkmyusernamemeanswhatyouthinkitmeans
Oh no way, that's hilarious. Thanks for letting me know
msfleur
Um...you're passed out for 3 hours with a bloody head wound and your fiance doesn't call 911???
BropaneAndBropaneAccessories
You do realize this is probably a "Heroes" reference right? Given the username and an almost identical scene in the show?
kittymack
I thought the same thing!
yorkie62
Concussion it sounds like. What the hell is wrong with these people?
RepublicofTexa
Save the cheerleader
theblackcanaryyy
save the world
Picklefoot
Doesn't matter, had sex
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
Sounds like Cheryl from Archer.
nutmegwolf
Yes.
msfleur
Just so you know, I'm questioning it because it's obviously BS.
thatsmynametoo
Thought that too, but then I saw the name. I don't think it's real. This is the real Hayden Panetierre w/ fiance. http://imgur.com/2WwTaaO
TheSteveBuscemi
The pic doesn't work
TheSteveBuscemi
OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS POST IS FROM 2 YEARS AGO SORRY
westo48
She is fine as fuck
grossitsrachel
Wow, those nip covers really stand out.
javer80
Is that fucking Wladimir Klitschko? The heavyweight superchamp? Oh my God.
DexterM
Oh damn.
iamtheonewho
I call bullshit on that one. If you knock your head , and are unconscious for over 5-10 minutes you could have serious head trauma.
iamtheonewho
Also this is probably a "Heroes" reference!
shadowex3
ANY amount of unconscious time means brain damage. Anything more than a few seconds or a minute means ER.
kuraianubis
so thats whats wrong with me..
thunderbirds53
In Soviet Russia, you are 911!
PowerStacheOfTheYear
Yeah, more than 30 minutes pretty much guarantees severe brain damage. 3 hours AND still bleeding and she would almost certainly be dead.
Machino
It's a heroes refrence she could heal thus the not medically urgent situation
SacreDoom
I'm pretty sure about 85% of these are bullshit, and Ruffcats knows, but he enjoys his "fame" and keeps posting bullshit anyway. It's stupid
PowerStacheOfTheYear
That was supposed to be a drawn out "yyyeeeeaaaahhh," btw. As in: this story is obviously bullshit or extremely embellished at best.
UnspokenX
headwounds bleed like crazy and look WAY worse than they are. I got one, patched it up, sneezed 2 hrs later- looked like I ran into hannibal
Mistruths
Any wounds above the nose tend to bleed a lot... I got one, and I didn't get on my computer for three days while it healed. Not worth risk.
TheMonsterWithinYou
The shaved legs one is fake because that's from an FML lol
quipter
I'm confused on why males get aroused putting random objects into a vagina.
BorissBecker
you will never know. But itĀ“s just men instinct and stupidity.
meddlinpenguin
You know how toddlers have so much fun putting shapes in holes?......
EddieDeanofNewYork
so are we (i am male)
WinnieTheJew
As a male I love that shit, but after the heat of the moment I always have to ask myself why the fuck I did that...
griffinzoth
But you get why they like the one thing, at least, right?
fireeternal
Oh yeah i know sex is so confusing right?
shadowfallen
To be fair, I'm sure they're just as confused by our desires :P
youareatoy
When I was young and first discovering my body, I put a 4x1 Lego brick in my vagina and panicked when I couldn't get it out
wengocerrones
It doesnt really matter what it is. Just like playing with it
Neapal
Is this a thing? I just read it and thought to myself, "Wtf, why would anyone wanna eat grapes out of there?"
Artefact
I HAVE THESE WASPS, WOULD YOU...?
Momof2needsabreak
Its not necessarily about putting random object into vaginas, but using food during sex can be quite delicious.
munch606
http://imgur.com/sgsmI5R
Sarrv
They haven't had a vagina with them they're whole lives to mess with. That's most likely why.
thepurplesock
My sister had a friend in college who knew someone who had her boyfriend put starbursts in her vagina and licked them out. She went (1/?)
thepurplesock
Into the ER a couple days later about vaginal irritation and they found a starburst in there. She also found out she had herpes. Appar(2/?)
thepurplesock
ently they had put a certain number of starbursts in there and he got that number out but they figured one of the "starbursts" was a (3/?)
thepurplesock
herpes sac.... I'm not sure of the validity of this story, but nonetheless it is disgusting.
hetnkik
Imagine if you could never ever own a pocket.Then one day, somebody lets you borrow their pocket.You'd be packing it with whatever you could
TheRicM
Dapaq?
HotSauceEnema
POCKET SAND
JoeChill
this.
McBubblesTheCuntDestroyer
A really slimy, smelly pocket.
ChristYarmolyu
News flash, vaginas arent used to store every day things. Thats why we have purses
spacepinata
sorry but EWWWW.
nycnewyork
The male has pouch envy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCBKVVRgZZY
TokenAtheist
I love this!
Monochron
This may be my favorite comment I have ever read.
dittu
Im pickpocket.
jooooooooooooon
what does it has in its pocketses.... *GRAPES*
RedBlarg
Styupid fat hobbitses
fabiennehugo
haha, I don't know why but this comment is really cute.
DanglyDongle
You understand me. I have never felt closer to a stranger.
ChomskyWouldnt
your username is perfect for this conversation
ShutUpYouLookLikeHarryPotterWithABloodyNose
This is the greatest comment I've seen on Imgur in a loooonggg time.
IndianaChones
If I had a penis for a day I'd stick that fucker in everything. Nothing would be safe. Except my dog. Stay classy.
SneakZ
Every young male. I use to close it in the fridge. Or rub it on the couch lol.
SlothlsMySpiritAnimaI
wtf. as a young male; no.
PhallecBaldwin
You say that now, but SneakZ has already planted the seed (ha) in your mind. Just a matter of time...
EngineerZero
Welcome to every young boy's puberty. "Wait... I can touch it against EVERYTHING"
GABRG3
I came back to point out the literal genius of using the phrase 'that fucker' in this context... bravo to you madam... (and your dog) :)
IndianaChones
*takes a bow*
Summersky
...a warm, moist pocket? a Hot Pocket?
LoveSays
to get yeast infections galore.
Beepity
Imagining never owning a pocket should be easy, considering how women's clothes have no pockets.
Queenmickey
http://www.okmoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/tumblr_lylmesbWpp1qkb424o1_500.gif
ghostsdesu
Haha yeah, so many of my pants have no pockets I forget to use pockets on the ones that do.
iLynux
It all makes sense now. Instead of useful pockets, women are meant to store items in their vaginas!
pulitown
Natures Pocket: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upK3vFNOvEI
Jalase
I knew it! I knew this would be first reply!
WritingUnderTheMountain
Bu-but Keys!...D:
ThePeoplesCartographer
Oakfeather
I'mma need someone to post the gif showing a side view of a key going into a keyhole since I don't have it. You know the one.
Beepity
I guess you aren't brave enough.
JanitorsApprentice
its like a play ground for us. you bring stuff to the play ground and play with it.
quiquidouloveme
Right??? I mean... grapes.. REALLY?
TheRicM
Vajajay envy?
Beepity
I just want to say I thought it was going to end a LOT worse once "medical scissors" were mentioned. I've seen too many of these things.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
TIL a vagina is a pocket and an uncircumcised penis looks like a turtle coming out of it's shell. The more you know *shooting star*
usernamesarewack
Whaaaa? http://imgur.com/XrSbRJ9
IateABearOnce
That probably would have been worth a NSFW
randomitguy
I don't put anything in my GF's cooter. Except my dick. But only when she lets me. Which is not often enough...
thermobaric
http://imgur.com/fLrb5Qo
holycheeseballs
Men are such strange creatures. Like, grapes? Honestly. Eh, would still try it to see what it's like though.
jahavasaud
We just like to dick around with it.
birdbarf
As a female, I'm confused as to how ladies can "lose" things in their vaginas. It's a very finite space!
chibbity
I thought the same thing. Just... dig it out?
kittymack
This confuses people doesn't it!? like it expands to accommodate but it doesn't STAY expanded! its really not a big place to loose crap in
LyricChae
And why you can't push out a grape? LOL guuurl, one word: KEGELS.
beckadoomsday
I don't understand that or why she was worried about a GRAPE. Of all the things I've read it seems so harmless, it'd find its way out later.
shadowex3
you don't want something bacteria can feed off of in a 98 degree mucous filled hole full of a very carefully balanced amount of bacteria.
beckadoomsday
While that's a really good point, I'm still thinking by comparison...
shadowex3
Vaginas are terrifying and incomprehensible. Probably why the first thing guys want to do with one is stick a finger in and see what happens
castawayisland
To be honest, if I had a penis for a day I would probably see what kind of stuff I could fit it into.
TheNowBannedBecauseOfBullshitCommunityRulesChaoticNachos
anal beads yum
beastrawr
If you had a dick you'd understnad
HeyFreckleFace
http://imgur.com/pKLIFpZ
PizzaAmnesia
Would you be interested in a science experiment?
sarestabspeople
Where do I sign up?
zinvader
i think we just like vagina related activities
booksandrubberbands
I'm fem and I find it arousing- I'm just not dumb about what goes in there.
PunchItChewy
I feel if I had a vagina I would be making weekly trips to the ER to get stuff removed.
razrwire
Third time this week eh, Chewy? What is it this time?
Steve1990
I'm crying from laughter! !
ArcaneM37
I don't understand how anyone loses something in the vagina. It's only as deep as your fingers - where could stuff hide? Just fish it out.
iamnotalamp
I'm willing to bet that my penis is much longer than fingers...
Jennybeanss
Haha its not that shallow. Thats cute tho lol
Frodoniku
This is why tampons have ropes on them. Shit gets lost yo
procrastinatorpro
If the only dicks you've seen were as long as your fingers I feel sorry for you hun... You'd be surprised what can fit in a vajayjay
ArcaneM37
They strech, but if something like a grape or tampon or condom is lost in there, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
BatsuitsNipples
"it's bigger on the inside"
kittymack
yes thats because it expands. But it does not stay expanded!!!
iwantashortnameforonceohshit
the finger-deep part is just like the canal, then there's a room back there behind it basically- shit can get lost yo
kittymack
that just is not true - there is no back room - there is a vagina canal and then a cervix which is not open enough for a grape to go through
iwantashortnameforonceohshit
You just made me look up a vagina diagram to realize that I know nothing about my own lady bits. You are definitely right, haha
nohbody
Yup and if I had a penis everything around the house would have cum on it.
xRevolution
trust me that would NOT be fun to clean up
QuadrilateralEnix
well that's bizarrely incredibly arousing
PhilMcBuckoL
Yep, this does happen...
InfinitusEquitas
If there is a teenager in the house... it probably did... at some point.
TOTOAFRICA
As a 17 year-old, cum is the way we mark our territory.
InfinitusEquitas
As a one time teenager, in a time long past, in a galaxy far far away... yeah I know dude.
stillcleaning
I have 4 sons. You made me paranoid. Thanks.
FinalBackwardsGlance
If your fear is justified it isn't paranoia.
ilostmyusernamecanihaveyours
Your username is now relevant.
ZoranKnight
Oh god hahaha
rooble
HA :D
stillcleaning
ya get it now do ya? Ha ha!
lordforte
An entire organ that can be stimulated, effectively, for pleasure with a large surface contact area. The penis has trouble competing.
rayvn
They are (generally) not that sensitive...I can't imagine actually feeling a grape up there, smaller than a tampon
lordforte
The mental component is a big aspect of it, admittedly. Not only our imagination, but also anticipation. See also: sensory deprivation.
lordforte
Adding on: to clarify, tiny touches can have big impacts because our senses are changed to emphasize it.
IMightBeGaspodeTheWonderDog
Yeah pretty much the only parts that feel good are the first 1-2 inches. Further up it kinda just feels like the inside of your mouth does
Kinderschlager
every guy who sees this is going to be prodding the roof of his mouth with his tongue now
IMightBeGaspodeTheWonderDog
Haha I hope so!
BenjiSchan
I confess to having done this.
massiveleviathan
Same here
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lordforte
The issue with the penis is that it has downtime. The soul is willing, but the body cannot. Also clitoris has 3 times (?) the nerve endings.
[deleted]
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cspinasdf
What about tongues? I've never met a girl where the tongue didn't do the trick, providing the partner is competent.
swooper
I have. My current gf can't get off to it, previous one could (so it's not just me :P).
CoeusDarksoul
Vagoos are mysterious boxes of love and disgust. They bring us such pleasure, and bring you such pain (and by proxy, us). Plus, squishy!
LadyAmalthea
+1 for "boxes of love and disgust"!
Kinderschlager
+1 for squishy
mywaysnotverysportsmanlike
You had my +1 at "Vagoos"
CoeusDarksoul
<3
ITookTheHobbitsToIsengard
I'm confused by a lot of things male find arousing.
Kinderschlager
we get confused at times as well
ReptilianOverlord
I don't even know why some things are hot, but they are.
meddlinpenguin
So are we, so are we
dsmds72e
I find this very arousing.
juicyJ7
hahahaha oh my god, too funny
thebluespirit
Seriously, what can my anus do that my vagina can't?....you know what I mean.
ieattittysprinkles
I want to know this too. Why do you guys want the bung-hole so badly.. That's what the front was made for
TheCanadianNerd
It's not our fault, our dicks don't really involve us in the decision making process, they just give us a heads up.
kaytiss
ba dum tsh
KitsuneSuzzo
Gonna level with you. We are generally confused too.
IMightBeGaspodeTheWonderDog
Well... I'm glad we're all on same boat about it then
fireeternal
I donĀ“t like these generalizations.
shadowfallen
Seemed like less of a generalization and more of ITookTheHobbitsToIsengard's observation.
fireeternal
The whole population of men probably agrees in really little of what they are aroused by, probably tits and pussy, thats all.
IwouldbecomeamanforFreddieHg
my bf gets an erection every time I cry. Da fuck is that shit?
mthrndr01
I've always assumed that it was more predatory than protective. Emotional vulnerability and all that.
idontbelieveyou
could be a protective male thing. Likes that he can make you feel better (this was meant non sexually) .... or he could be a sadist.
IwouldbecomeamanforFreddieHg
never thought of that. That's probably right. I mean the sadist thing obviously.
mywaysnotverysportsmanlike
He's into some shit you didn't even know about
qussow
The penis does not tell us in advance what it likes. Sometimes it just makes itself known.
Kinderschlager
so much this
theprizefighterinferno
As a male, I am confused by some things that women find arousing.
punsnroses
such as?
theprizefighterinferno
For example, according to women I know, men doing the dishes is like an automatic trip to pound town.
ieattittysprinkles
I usually just get aroused by physical touch or faces men make.. and sound.. Never dishes though. Maybe I'm just weird?
everyrussianisabamf
about 90% of the time we're confused too.
ArchonIlladrya
Truer words were never spoken. Er...typed.
epicor
My wife asks why i like her boobs so much. I honestly don't know, but they are spectacular.
Beepity
A friend of mine has manboobs. A mutual friend of ours, a lady, became a straight boobgirl because of them. "They're fun to play with!"
pulitown
You must have some great friends!
eggtartsandfarts
I agree. Side boob? :/ so strange.
StillNotYouTube
or boobs in general...not necessary for conception.
personguy1000
feeding babies bruh
StillNotYouTube
That's why I said conception and not reproduction. There's no need for men to be attracted to them.
ReptilianOverlord
Sideboob awesome because boobs are awesome
ReptilianOverlord
is*
TheCanadianNerd
I like how you corrected yourself and got downvoted. Bad luck Brian over here. :P
eggtart
ohmygosh another eggtart
eggtartsandfarts
I actually commentted on you some time ago telling you. You were a less crude version of my name. I guess you didn't see it :)
TheCanadianNerd
That's because boobs are awesome though. Pretty much anything related to boobs is arousing, at least as someone who likes boobs.
ben9105
Everyone likes boobs.