MalcolmButler
420310
12102
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FP edit: Please donate to the Boys & Girls Club of America, as they helped me when I was a child. Link here: http://www.bgca.org
CakeOfRage
You had me at Molesterol.
Deathfrombelow
#1 is beautiful. 10/10 would be ignored by.
Antropomorphia
last one - http://i1203.photobucket.com/albums/bb386/Marlinfan1995/burn_zps28a042ca.jpg
LinneahPotato
Keep 'em coming, captain!
MalcolmButler
As long as I remain unemployed they'll be on the horizon.
MalcolmButler
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE UPVOTING MY PAIN
bicthief
Cause we like pain :)
Iamnotacreativeman
Roasted
Americanjedi2099
There also downvoting your face.
MalcolmButler
Also to give this reply context, you guys are bad at insulting my face but good at pressing the red arrow so I scrapped my initial FP edit.
MalcolmButler
Think it's a selfie downvote. Which is kind of annoying. If you're going to downvote, insult me goddamn it.
Spedytor
#9 Shit is too reaaaaal
Broksen
I almost cried laughing when I saw this one because before I even read the comment I instinctually thought "oh shes pretty... ugly." lol
Phenomeno
Nah man, she cute
Felman
If that gets rejected on Tinder no wonder I never stood a chance
LightPoster71
Ok, Molesterol was pretty damn funny.
Ben78
Logged in to Reddit to upvote that one post. The guy is brutal all round! https://www.reddit.com/user/surfdiggins
skrizzlethabanned
Gottttteeeemmmm
Brolama
Gotti
SteveBuscemiSayingHowDoYouDoFellowKids
M€M€$ /\m/\®1+3
StevieRayVaughan
HA!
GwychBrenin
GAY!
TheDickofDestiny
DEEZ NUTS
TittySprinklesNarratedByMorganFreeman4
2016
idontunderstandhoweyeballswork
Well, like it says, its all meant to be jokes, don't take em seriously. Even mr. Markiplier did one, and he laughed his ass off.
IndisputableFact
As soon as I saw the guys face I was like "Naw, man, you shouldn't post your pic. That's not a good look." Molesterol made me glad he did.
MalcolmButler
Guarantee that's the first time in all of human history those words were formed in that order.
SupraJZA80
That's another one down, more to go!
GreaterDog
Seen it at least 3 times already. Seems to be standard response to fat male roastees.
MyNameisJavert
That was the same guy as the last couple of posts
ashmenon
Hey, if stand-up comedians can reuse their material, I give this guy a pass.
vividmarker
Toes and thumbs up for Molesterol lol
thomasisme
Rekt
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
That went straight to jugular vein.
degenerator
Molesterol is going to be the ultimate call-back reference in about a year. BTW, has anyone taken the user name Molesterol?
BeverageGoblin
WELP
DkryptX3
It's a bird! It's a plane! No wait... it's just @Molesterol
112864
and sad for him
cocoboogs
couldn't spell arteries, but molesterol took the cake...ha
Skinnyev
I stop scrolling and just laughed, hope he has a lot of aloe vera
whiskeytango73
that'll be the new DC super villain
Glumerlink
I like how they didn't go for the fat joke, that would've been too easy
ImThinkinTitties
Dayum.
tr0LLos
That was one of the best roast ever...
cpstacy
that dude went IN
Fenrir1
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
FriendlyGuyInWindowlessVan
ayyy
TexanScrubLord
LMAO
Downvotemepussy
*darn
Skluff
Taken from China, IL
askaglassofwater
Seriously, this is the only one of these 'roast me' things that has ever made me chuckle.
cowsandstuff
'The yellow M', anyone?
LeePalmer
Gold
AmNotFaggot
Meanest one by far, but I'm sad to say that it was indeed, pretty damn funny.
GrandNagusQuark
The best roast I've see. "molesterol" - - fucking perfect
TheHappyHermit
I said it outloud just to hear it said outloud.
ArtSparkle
Im still cleaning up coffee i spilled on myself laughing
guichequiche
The Jared one was savage AF
TeamToaster
That was me /a/8DxQB
HairyHarry
Spot on though.
montorrio
That was my favorite one
elgordo889
Right ? I fucking lost it
gsuscryst
I...didn't get it.
Ramenth
Jared is that subway guy that lost all his weight only eating subway. Recently was caught with child pornography I believe.
gsuscryst
Thanks ^^
UnhandherDanBackslide
It was harder to swallow that one then Jared's footlong.
southboundpachyderm
Then and than*. Here you really see the difference...
rain67
Some of these are just kids. It's not funny.
Radenium
No one made them take a picture and then invite the insults, they did that willingly. They made their choice.
rain67
Yes, they're choice, but telling an underage kid sexually explicit things is over the line.
rain67
Sorry, dangit, I can't believe I got 'their' and 'they're' screwed up. Oops.
Radenium
You make a good point that I cannot argue.
Imapurpletoaster
The gluten free dick girl should fuck the molesterol guy
VesselOfHate
...why? So that us ugly guys can say "there's hope!"?
THRAWN18
I don't think he is gluten free though.
Imghurrr
He's gluten full
Abyssion88
HA!
cooplander
No one should fuck the molesterol guy.
SomeguyfromanotherjobsMrPurple
For some reason I think the only on fucking this poor guy to begin with is life.
CarsonAbrosimoff
I think she looks similar to one of my favorite youtubers so that is an awful image.
HotMilky
She resembles Maisie Williams
bmaher36
Who's the Youtuber?
CarsonAbrosimoff
Hayleyissoarx I think I show it's spelt
NickNo
i'm not sure why so many people are so interested in being roasted lately. if I want that, I just talk to my parents.
ZealotOfRovagug
Yeah, but my parents just say stupid, baseless horse shit that shows they don't know me. These people seem insightful.
Radenium
bandwagon jumpers.
SuaveBugger
You get spit-roasted by your parents?
mostbeautifulthingever
I'm sure we have the same parents.
orthedox
I'm pretty sure i just found my long lost brothers.
blainetog
You guys should divorce your parents.
Jusmar
BOOM ROASTED
AvengeTheCompanionCube
I got spit roasted once, it wasn't very fun.
CitizenRekt
My mum always tells me id be pretty if I wasnt so fat.
abt272
Sometimes it keeps me up at night hating myself. Mom's are evil
CitizenRekt
Ehhh, I still get regular sex, other girls are jealous of my features, I'm doing okay . . . but more okay if I wasn't fat? Damn it mum
degenerator
Can your parents top that "molesterol" diss? If so, you should sell tix to a roasting by your parents.
icallpeopleJack
Every day. Haha
Tekkerzz
It's fun to get roasted
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
Do you banter back at them?
SithRuleOfTwo
Its the not so covert way of posting a selfie.
theresakittyoverthere
aww :(
Disgracefully
I think that my parents bringing down my self confidence is to help me build an immunity. I think they are overdoing it,but what do I know
aleister94
They're probably all secretly hoping they'll get replied with : you're perfect I can't roast you
uchronia
Lame/weak responses more or less indicate that. Female: "BET UR BAD AT SEX" ; Male: "UR DOUCHEBAG"
aleister94
Yeah mine would probably be something like : you look a gay porn star retired to be a lumberjack
xxSOONERSxx
Wishful thinking my friend.
CanadianThemedName
As a bi guy with a thing for lumberjacks...are you?
aleister94
Bi yes , lumberjack no
VonRichtofenlw
SelfRoast
DarkWingDerpy
My father was never around and my mother said I was perfect and needed to do nothing in my life until I failed HS. Fun times. :(
untilitsleeps
PUH-REACH
HalfPint13
You think your parents are bad you should meet my grandma, that old lady is a stone cold bitch but it's all so true :(
Dutcher
I really like it that others want to be roasted. This humor is very entertaining :D
dab365
Good to know other peoples parents do this too, I love getting to talk with my parents and just banter back and forth with them
NickNo
At a chinese restaurant my dad leaned over to whisper "Hey, hey! The best part of you ran down your momma's leg" No eggdrop soup that night
DreaminFree
This was like legit my first though.
pineplapple
This is unbelievably accurate
pantsforcats
Dad likes one liners. Mom prefers backhanded compliments that haunt for days...or years.
IAMNOTYOURTIA
"your hair is so pretty colored, too bad it's a rat's nest" compliments that cut like a knife.
ILoveAnimalFacts
Ha! Mine last weekend: "I like your haircut, it's such a funny color though."
pixarpizza
Mother says I'm useless and I am a lazy ass who sits on my computer all day if she lets me. At the time, I was making jewelry...
pantsforcats
The worst was: "You're so special, but maybe if you weren't so *gestures to me*, I could have wanted to be a mom."
pantsforcats
"I know your dad didn't want you because you weren't a boy."
raiseyourhandifyouveeverbeenpersonallyvictimizedbyreginageorge
It's the classic Emily Gilmour style "compliment."
tinipple
HOW DO YOU KNOW MY PARENTS??!!
pantsforcats
We should see if we're siblings, @tinipple.
digitalutopia
My mom is the reason I'm immune to most female bullshit. Every time one tries to guilt trip me, I'm like:
kapelophilus
*
CanuckyFriedChicken
I have three mean older sisters... my girlfriend pities me and thanks god for it because I can put up with anything now. Anything.
BootyPaladin
I know, right? My mom has made me in the feeling of: "I don't give a shit if we don't spend time together." Go whine elsewhere.
Zierdo
Being raised Catholic is why I'm immune to guilt. Parents stopped trying that shit years ago.
witchtrash
Wasn't raised religious at all but I swear mom breathes guilt trips instead of CO2
pantsforcats
They try, but they're such freaking amateurs in comparison. Sometimes I think that if they were to meet my mom, it'd be Cersei v. Margaery
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
Guardiansofthegalaxywho.gif
EmzeexD
My mums always made me laugh.. then cry. Especially ones like ohh are you not guna brush you hair yoday. After I'd spent an hour doing it..
pantsforcats
Omg this. THIS!
EmzeexD
Don't you just love mums, they have such a way with words
pantsforcats
And shattering your happiness with them.
Fotostatica
My mother was very straight forward telling me I was a failure.
pantsforcats
That was my father's hobby. "Worthless parasite!" - Dad
pantsforcats
"Oh don't listen to him, dear. You'll be able to marry a doctor or a lawyer someday if you get plastic surgery later on." - Mom
Fotostatica
:(
sparverius
Mine too!
TailBiter
Mine too. Every chance she has, she reminds me that my brother and I are disappointments and she can't move on with her life.
MalcolmButler
Well, I now know that I look like John Krasinski hate-fucked a potato. So I got that going for me.
sabinazhell
which is nice.
MsKatieMarie
Everyone told me I looked like Caitlyn Jenner. It stung.
HausOfFuck
Hot.
MalcolmButler
Potatoes can be but you wouldn't want to touch them. :(
OrangeSlice
Is your name Cody?
MalcolmButler
Not even close.
IntrepidGamer
PICS?!
MalcolmButler
I'm a little worried about your enthusiasm for wanting to see that kind of love-child.
SteepedGardenMrsChen
But everybody loves John Krasinski, potatoes, and sex! Shit, they're my three favourite things
[deleted]
[deleted]
MalcolmButler
Accurate.
Hamdurleigh
I have the same shirt as you!
SuccesfulFailure
You look like some one microwaved a Mr. Potato-Head and happy slapped pubes on your faces.
professorx
are your parents my parents? are we siblings
MauSekhmet
I might be your sister too :C
Sabruka
or are we dancer?
ToriScott
One of us. One of us. One of us.
NickNo
brother!!!
spuds31
Hjelp me
skwawkward
Ahhh brother! Nooooooooo!!!
lx45803
SNAAAKE!
JesusCatttt
DRAKE!
DragonLordG
Do you want to go bowling?
MillenialJesus
brothers!
NickNo
go away, you're adopted
pholkos
Mom didn't want him to know yet!