arnarkusaga
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YouAreACommunist
The celery one is bull https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative-calorie_food
Getonmysarcasmlevel
I actually love these and want more! Yes I am fun at parties.
tanadarko
Technically Correct Mallard gets pretty wordy in some of these.
Eviltower
The kind of person who pretends they acthually know all this shit while looking it up on google to be an asshole to people internet.
LadyHufflepuffington
You can almost hear the sucking in saliva while talking, stupid braces.
Snorelock
and also what plants crave.
codenamenothing
I read them in godfry's voice
may825
Acthuallay... Im a pyrofox... From the forest planet...
brightredlipstick
I know I didn't HAVE to read the whole thing in a lisp, but I did.
brightredlipstick
I also read "actually" every single time.
OxKLove
Acthually I feel really dumb right now.
TheGameDoctor
But then smarter afterwards, it's better to know how dumb you are now than completely ignorant about it so congrats!
TrudyCampbell
+1 BECAUSE MARIE ANTOINETTE NEVER SAID THAT!
truckerallikat
Closest I've heard is "Let them eat brioche" instead. Brioche is a sweet bread often eaten for breakfast that needs less flour to make.
haroldsax
That's what I've heard, kind of. More that "cake" was improperly translated and cake to them wasn't what it is to us now.
TheChalupaBatman
This is acthually really, really awesome. Hope this becomes an imgur staple!
MMAgCh
Acthually that should be "its mother", not "it's mother".
x5H4M3Dx0N3x
I've been reading these in that "push up your glasses" nerd voice...so shameful
Ladysauce27
I can confirm the narcolepsy one! I have hypnogogic hallucinations and sleepiness. No cataplexy.
arnarkusaga
Me too.
swooper
Acthually, chewing is technically a part of the digestion process.
HrunTheBarbarian
All I can hear is Chris Trotts voice...
ChazWayne
Came looking for this comment. +1
skeezerelli
Thank you.
MAP25
The last one. Every single person I know thinks blood is blue
Aksch
i was so astonished when i first learned that people actually believe that shit... how do you even get to that assumption?
sweetbeatdown
Veins show blue through the skin around the wrist area.
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Acthually, the penis of mallards is shaped like a corkscrew due to the anti-rape evolutionary morphology of females.
rose3694
LOL not just mallards. We have raised a Muscovy and yeah he has let his corkscrew hang out a few times walking around :P
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
I know, many species have it. I was talking about mallards only because that's the meme.
MorningCoffeeMedication
Is it bad that I want to punch this stupid duck in its stupid face?
NtaLzr
Acthually, this duck is smarter than us.
graehall
I thought these were quite interesting, certainly preferable to the bullshit puffins and bears that plague this site.
ActualEugenecistHitlerAdolf
He's talking about how the duck looks punchable, not the meme itself.
OracleForCheap
Disagree about "rescuing" baby birds being blanket illegal. Not that I advice doing it in places where legal.
Atharaenea
In the US almost every bird is illegal to catch. Exception: starlings and house sparrows.
USNJIMRET
Acthually, it's advise.
OracleForCheap
Correct. And what I thought I wrote. You advise and you give advice. I blame that my autocorrect is not set to English!
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Agreed. The main problem is that people misjudge, and often take fledglings that are completely fine.
almostsomething182
After a certain point, they're supposed to come out of the nest. Basically if they have feathers or cover, leave them alone.
ialwaysupvoteemperorsnewgroove
*clap clap* this is what the world has been missing!!
DarthVenom42
I read this using Daffy's voice.
Rednustard
Finally we have a face for the grammar nazis
maybeifthisusernameiswittyenoughsomeonewillfinallyloveme
#7 *its
ZiRiS
Nazis*
delamine
Acthually, Nazis didn't call themselves Nazis, they were National Socialists, Nazi was close to a slang term for idiot that refugees used.
Rednustard
Just like grammar nazis
Rednustard
But you are wrong. It was adopted, then dropped, then brought back because refugees made it popular.
WanderingOnion
No, touching a toad will not give you warts , but licking a toad will take you to Disney Land
ImJustADinosaur
Will it spit out tickets?
almostsomething182
Only certain toads make the neurotoxic poison. Don't just go around licking toads, do your research first. Lick toads responsibly.
pplruinppl4evry1
You forgot the one about daddy longlegs not having human-killing venom and/or non-skin penetrating fangs
AmyBethMegJo
I have never heard that they did.
DickButtAndHisBrother
I accidentally crushed one. I'm still alive!
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Yeah, they rarely bite and when they do it's just a mild nuisance.
almostsomething182
Mythbusters measured, the fangs can barely break the top layer of skin. And most venom is actually carried by the lymphatic system.
almostsomething182
This is why you shouldn't tourniquet or try to suck out venom, but try to get a compressive wrap over it
arnarkusaga
I actually meant to put that one in, but I wanted to keep it condensed to ten.
aleister94
Also you only burn half a calorie digesting celery but every stock is approximately 8 calories
logant
That's what she said.
Gingerbread322
They aren't even spiders either.
piratejenny
Daddy long legs are a group of spiders, but the name is also used for a different group of arachnids, harvestmen, that are not spiders.
sweetbeatdown
Harvestmen! That's what everybody calls granddaddy long legs, thanks. I couldn't remember the name.
sweetbeatdown
Nightmare fuel: Ticks are actually spiders.
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Actually, they are not true spiders, but belong to a group closely related to them.
lunchbocks
*Acthually
Gingerbread322
Ugh. Thanks. I didn't sleep last night either. Lol
emkayultra
Acthually about 70% of narcoleptics have cataplexy ("falling asleep" at random times). Source: I have narcolepsy
arnarkusaga
Hi. I'm also narcoleptic but I don't have cataplexy. The stats I quoted were what was told to me when I was diagnosed eight years ago. 1/2
arnarkusaga
Considering how under-diagnosed the condition is, I'm not surprised the stats have changed. :)
emkayultra
I was diagnosed ~2 months ago. I've seen a lot of conflicting info. And most docs aren't familiar with narcolepsy, even sleep specialists.
sherbetty
Isn't cataplexy more of just a sudden loss of muscle tone? Not sleeping, just limp noodling
emkayultra
Yup. That's why I used the quotes. Narcoleptics don't just fall asleep randomly. The closest thing to it tho is cataplexy. 1
emkayultra
minutes. But that's also associated with automatic behavior where the person will continue doing an action like eating. 3
emkayultra
There's another symptom called micro sleep where the person will fall asleep at random for anywhere from a fraction of a second to a few 2
douchewadextreme
related to what emkayultra said here is an annotated video detailing some of that stuff https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PuvXpv0yDM
cyrusthevulture
I kind of want to read these in a silly voice.
morehumanthanhuman
I heard tigger from Winnie poo
Worldbreaker12423
neil goldman, from family guy
zangypoo
The nerd from robot chicken
wompwompwomp
Neil, from Community
everythingset
Wihh a lissp
lilbillydartos
Adam Savage
SpecimenSpiff
Yeah, when he does that lispy, nerdy voice.
ViviFuchs
I read them in a nerdy Daffy Duck voice, does that count?
WinterIsMaybeComing
I did the same!
InfiniteSynapse
Dethpicable.
CrystalEnigma
I read them in Daffy duck's voice, but some reason imagined Donald duck speaking as I was reading them.
PunyYuro
ditto
cyrusthevulture
I was saying them with the voice of a nasally fellow.
seductivebubbles
same here
SubtileSubtext
Steve Urkel
SubtileSubtext
The Urkelduck
beautifulbiscuits
This. I read them all in Urklish.
iamthewindfish
Go right ahead.. Eheheehehe. I typed that in a silly voice just for you.
Darjanator
I read them in this little guy's voice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STUUE0dQDVI
holgerdk
The Mighty Jingles on YT does a "acthually jingles" in some of his videos :)
ColonelCouch
Chris Trott nerd voice
Brettholomeul
"Thank you"
LordSassafrass
It only made sense to me to do the same.
Janescheeseaddiction
I once had an argument with a moron who thought we have blue colored blood in our veins.
thriftydonkey
I was taught that in school!
Janescheeseaddiction
Well that's crazy.
arnarkusaga
There's a bunch of stuff taught in schools that isn't technically correct.
thriftydonkey
Yeah but that's correct at all.
pplruinppl4evry1
Example: Columbus discovering the earth was round. Come on!
astromoondoggie
Duh. Only royalty has blue-colored blood in their veins. It's what separates them from us commoners.
wizdum
TIL I have narcolepsy.
cuddlesaur
I've always felt I have some kind of sleep disorder but my doctors have always continually dismissed it when I've asked about it.
emkayultra
Sounds like you need a new doctor. Try going to a sleep specialist. They should be able to help. Best of luck to you.
lifeful
Narcolepsy is not nec. perpetual exhaustion, but switching rapidly into REM sleep with little latency. Chronic fatigue is distinct
emkayultra
True, but excessive daytime sleepiness is the one symptom all narcoleptics share. EDS can have many causes though.
emkayultra
Ha, quite possible. It's seriously underdiagnosed. But the pic is wrong. ~70% have cataplexy. Source: I have narcolepsy
toadofthejungle
I could Google it but fuck it, what's cataplexy?
emkayultra
Sudden loss of muscle of muscle tone (e.g. limbs go limp, knees buckle, etc.).
toadofthejungle
Interesting, thanks. :)
douchewadextreme
And here's a video of it happening: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PuvXpv0yDM
GalaxyJoker
I fucking have narcolepsy and insomnia. I'm miserable.
arnarkusaga
I understand the struggle, bro.
GalaxyJoker
It sucks balls, light sleeper, occasional rls, I just want rest ffff
emkayultra
I always wake up 6 or 7 times a night. Every night. On a drug called Xyrem now and it seems to be making a HUGE fucking difference. 2
emkayultra
It's a symptomn called disturbed night time sleep. I can almost always fall asleep but I'll be up in 20 minutes and awake all night 1
GalaxyJoker
Opposite, I can't fall asleep due to rapid cycling thoughts, usually once asleep I'm good.
emkayultra
Sorry to hear. I have that issue when it comes to naps. I can doze off anywhere but if I try to nap I can't fall asleep
Tealeanna
Insomnia is a common side effect of narcolepsy and the reason narcolepsy is so hard to diagnose. (I am a narcoleptic as well)
GalaxyJoker
We found out about it while doing a sleep apnea study, mask helps but I still struggle with both. I'm also also very light sleeper.
sherbetty
How were you diagnosed? My insurance won't cover the mslt sleep study because I'm not narcoleptic. So I can't get diagnosed. Logic.
emkayultra
is virtually exclusive to narcolepsy. So if you have cataplexy you have narcolepsy, basically. 2
Tealeanna
I had to see a sleep doctor and have him push it through. Sleep study is the only real way to be sure. (Sucks dude, insurance..am I right?)
theimmortalbard
I'm also narcoleptic and I got diagnosed after waking up driving a vehicle. Long story short cruise control kept the car going while (1/?)
theimmortalbard
I drifted slowly into the grassy median. After telling some people, specifically my mother I went to a sleep specialist who ordered (2/?)
theimmortalbard
The mslt was one of the best days I'd ever had as I was allowed to nap several times after getting ~8 hours of sleep. I entered REM (4/?)
theimmortalbard
The mslt was one of the best days I'd ever had as I was allowed to nap several times after getting ~8 hours of sleep. I entered REM (4/?)
theimmortalbard
If you have any questions feel free to ask. (6/6)
theimmortalbard
The sleep study after we talked about some other symptoms I've experienced like auditory hallucinations & excessive daytime sleepiness (3/?)
theimmortalbard
sleep during two of the 4 naps I took. The doctors said it took me 120 seconds to fall asleep and ended up diagnosed as narcoleptic. (5/6)
emkayultra
Definitely go see a sleep specialist. Narcolepsy is clincally diagnosed so if necessary, they can diagnose then order MSLT. Also cataplexy 1
sherbetty
I see one and they covered a home study and I havs mild OSA, so I've been on a cpap but don't feel any better. They ordered the mslt and I
GalaxyJoker
Same my cpap only helps a little (I'm not waking myself snoring at least) but I'm still not sleeping right either
sherbetty
got denied, I officially have hypersomnia because they said they need the test to diagnose narcolepsy. What do you do to treat yours? (2)
emkayultra
I'm on a drug called Xyrem. I'm new to it, but it seems to be helping. Sounds like your doctor isn't being helpful. Bit maybe I'm wrong 1
emkayultra
Id recommend looking on the narcolepsy network site for an affiliated dr in your area and get a 2nd opinion 2