I just print some papers that do not actually need printing just so my stack of papers on my desk gets bigger. It makes it look like I do important stuff.
Doing everything on one device is fine...until the battery dies and you can't do anything because you got rid of what you'd need to do things without it.
Yeah, but what happens if you break or lose the device? Then you can't do any of the things you used it for because you were so excited about using it for everything that you got rid of what you'd need to do stuff without it.
You make a good point. Backups are another pro on the one device column. You can't lose your papers if you don't have any. Notes on a tablet can be uploaded automatically to the cloud.
Thing is, if you lose the one device (because stuff does occasionally get lost), you lose everything. Can't check or send email, you don't remember the passwords. Can't use your bank card, you don't keep the actual card on you. Can't take notes, you don't keep paper and pens on you. All the stuff you used the device for can no longer be done.
Who doesn't have a portable charger these days? Also like literally every room in my house and also my car has a charger. Now that everything is just USB, it's unheard of for my phone to die.
Yeah, but there could be a power outage, or you could be traveling. Use the digital methods all you like, but still maintain the old-school way just in case.
Or if your battery goes spicy pillow on you. Sometimes it's not a "drained battery" and more like a "explody event." I use my phone for a lot of things these days, but do I like to keep a few pieces of paper and a pencil around too, just not nearly as much as I used to.
This always starts wars. (And people who stay sitting for some reason think standing means being completely straight-legged with your cheeks clenched closed.)
I dot understand how you can sit and wipe. Do you lean? Isn't there a high risk of smearing on your cheeks or the toilet? Wait, so you not check the TP?? so many questions!
(the real answer is to get a bidet. <$100 will change your life)
I wiped standing up for the first 17 years of my life and then "realized" it's possible to do sitting down. I highly recommend switching to sitting down. And getting a bidet.
Do you people who stand have flat butts or something? I don't see how it's possible to stand without making a mess. The second I get up my ass cheeks are coming back together and squishing anything inbetween them. Staying seated though my cheeks don't move from the time the deed is done till the time the tp hits the spot.
This is an old joke in tech, back when companies thought they could kill their printing expenses overnight: The paperless office is as likely as the paperless bathroom.
Iāve worked in a āpaperlessā workplace and it was awesome, unless you just canāt let go of the desperate need to print stuff like my manager lol. Just save everything in organised folders, no more insane physical filing system, itās awesome
I work in the finance department and our company is fully paperless. We haven't used paper since 2014 or so and we've been fully remote since 2020. I do use a notebook to make to-do lists, works better for my brain than the digital lists. So I guess we have some minimal paper usage, but nothing official uses paper.
Yeah, internal finance and legal companies are usually the worst. But we have plenty that dont allow paper because its a security risk. It can be done, but most wont change processes, or there are old people who dont understand.
I'm not afraid of a bidet turning me gay, I'm afraid of the Bowel Roulette landing on a turd that's made of 30% Velcro and 60% Elmer's Glue, and having nothing more than hopes and prayers that the thing will pressure wash my asshole clean and not leave me to develop a particular sort of swamp ass called Eau de Magic Tournament.
You don't need paper, you just need something to dry off with. Some bidets will dry you off as well, or you can have a personal cloth... or you can waste toilet paper.
Wow, I've never met anyone who had to do this. I hope you are getting professional help. If that's necessary to prevent chafing, then your obesity has progressed to the point of being debilitating and life-threatening.
ZK383
Outstanding!
pzm2
legit thought that was Slabhead
SteamPriest
Was expecting her to smash a spider with it
VodkaReindeer
I am in this picture and I stand by my beliefs!
TheMrDomino
Get rekt, shit boy.
NotTakenImgurAccountName
I just print some papers that do not actually need printing just so my stack of papers on my desk gets bigger. It makes it look like I do important stuff.
vodkaho
I thought for sure he was gonna get frisky and she would whip out a wand...
ProChoiceBaby
Saw this joke coming from the first 5 secs. Ugh.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Drawing on a tablet with your finger is awful.
iklu
I was sure she'd hand him some porn in bed, idk, I'm not an ad person.
HIVp0sit1ve69
FukcTedCruz
Idonotbelievewehavecompany
Ok, this was funny
TheToofFairy
Yes it was!
IliveIdyeIliveagain
Talk shit, get shit
GravyEducation
imabadger
Even though her name is the only thing spoken, I can smell the Germanness from a 1000 miles away š
StevieTheAussie
Iām on my computer/phone all the time and even I say that guy needs to go fuck himself. Let people do shit the way they wanna.
GravyEducation
Have all the things, have backups, one rule i have in life is always have a backup plan. Those are Spider-man rules I didn't make them
chaylar
this guy is just a cunt
ArcanisTheOmnipotent
Thought this was going to take a more adult turn. Guy wants intimate time and Emma hands him his tablet.
trekkie
There was another one where she smacked a fly with the tablets
WeatherWiz
Throwback to when people hoarded toilet paper in 2020
nomorehate
I was totally expecting it to end with her choosing a vibrator over him and it fades out to an adult toy company's logo lmao
OhIfIMust
"SHE didn't think men were better than machines!" - Lister
billstranger
100% where i thought it was going as well.
Shaodyn
Doing everything on one device is fine...until the battery dies and you can't do anything because you got rid of what you'd need to do things without it.
VodkaReindeer
It's okay, we can wait a moment.
Shaodyn
Yeah, but what happens if you break or lose the device? Then you can't do any of the things you used it for because you were so excited about using it for everything that you got rid of what you'd need to do stuff without it.
VodkaReindeer
You make a good point. Backups are another pro on the one device column. You can't lose your papers if you don't have any. Notes on a tablet can be uploaded automatically to the cloud.
Shaodyn
Thing is, if you lose the one device (because stuff does occasionally get lost), you lose everything. Can't check or send email, you don't remember the passwords. Can't use your bank card, you don't keep the actual card on you. Can't take notes, you don't keep paper and pens on you. All the stuff you used the device for can no longer be done.
QuickLighting53
Who doesn't have a portable charger these days? Also like literally every room in my house and also my car has a charger. Now that everything is just USB, it's unheard of for my phone to die.
Shaodyn
Yeah, but there could be a power outage, or you could be traveling. Use the digital methods all you like, but still maintain the old-school way just in case.
azimir
Or if your battery goes spicy pillow on you. Sometimes it's not a "drained battery" and more like a "explody event." I use my phone for a lot of things these days, but do I like to keep a few pieces of paper and a pencil around too, just not nearly as much as I used to.
ProbablyCrazier
I mean... My bidet is electric, so... Checkmate?
Dhhbhcf
If you're not wiping after I don't see how you'll get it all clean.
Aksuuuh
Aiming at your butthole *ding* "Bullseye! +10 points!"
CoffeeZombie
They say he sang three octaves higher than usual that day.
swephisto
You're sure you're not thinking of the toaster, right? Or maybe you're just defibrillating the hell out of those goodies?
BeardOnTheInside
No matter how I use a bidet, my balls are always soaking wet, same with my booty hole. So I end up needing to use TP anyways.....
ArcaneM37
The standard practice is to have a bidet towel. One for each person using the bidet, kept seperate, and washed frequently.
RiseOfEmpires
towel
NoonaTuna
pics or it didn't happen
jwillustrat
Electric? Mine just uses water pressure. Iād donāt think Iād trust something that uses electricity to shoot water up there.
Cranbananarama
Tingly water.
GlobalImageServiceCat
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washlet
realrealluckless
Personally I much prefer the water based ones, but you do you...
ProbablyCrazier
etcnotect
The high voltage really gets everything and includes hair removal
realrealluckless
"Ablative Cleaning" - What's not to love?
RedLetterMediaReactionGifs
Combo. Bidet first and a minimal amount of paper to proof-test.
Kitastrophe
wait... but... what... what do you do in a blackout?
ProbablyCrazier
Just use TP like the rest of you godless heathens?
Kitastrophe
I am absolutely blown away by the idea that you have a powered bidet and a supply of toilet paper. Amazing. no notes.
Hekatombe
MeatPopsicleMultiPass
People stay sitting to wipe?
AnAverageBoxEnthusiast
thats poop knife talk XD
TheFoodBaby
Why stand when you can sit. Also sitting gives you better access to really get in there.
hetnkik999
This always starts wars. (And people who stay sitting for some reason think standing means being completely straight-legged with your cheeks clenched closed.)
SyntheticCK
Yeah it's silly. The real answer is she is doing it like that because it's a safe pose for television/video.
WTT24
I dot understand how you can sit and wipe. Do you lean? Isn't there a high risk of smearing on your cheeks or the toilet? Wait, so you not check the TP?? so many questions!
(the real answer is to get a bidet. <$100 will change your life)
mikasaur
I wiped standing up for the first 17 years of my life and then "realized" it's possible to do sitting down. I highly recommend switching to sitting down. And getting a bidet.
BobHubert
Iām still wrapping my mind around how one stands to wipe easily
mikasaur
One doesn't.
Tungstenspheresagainstsnails
Evolve adapt overcome
moose2000
People wipe instead of using the garden hose?
Puvaradivi
Do you people who stand have flat butts or something? I don't see how it's possible to stand without making a mess. The second I get up my ass cheeks are coming back together and squishing anything inbetween them. Staying seated though my cheeks don't move from the time the deed is done till the time the tp hits the spot.
SyntheticCK
That's why you "lift" not stand. We aren't standing straight up and walking to the TP.
IntelligentLake
Some people wipe standing up, some people wipe sitting down, and neither knows the other exists. A human mystery.
DidItForScience
Some people use a bidet. And some people are ridin' dirty.
VanessaBludgeons
This is my favorite Dr Seuss book
lordfwahfnah
Some lay down to wipe
lordfwahfnah
Some lay down to wipe
bladderinfection
This is an old joke in tech, back when companies thought they could kill their printing expenses overnight: The paperless office is as likely as the paperless bathroom.
monkeyboy396
Iāve worked in a āpaperlessā workplace and it was awesome, unless you just canāt let go of the desperate need to print stuff like my manager lol. Just save everything in organised folders, no more insane physical filing system, itās awesome
blainetog
My office has been completely paperless since before the pandemic. We're also a publishing company, so there's some irony for you.
Clayman8
Up until we make sure everyone knows how to use the 3 seashells, that is.
captainpizza
I mean i work for the government of all people and haven't needed actual paper anything in line 5 years
FlippedOut
Most of my clients are paperless except the finance departments.
Gaelwyn
I work in the finance department and our company is fully paperless. We haven't used paper since 2014 or so and we've been fully remote since 2020. I do use a notebook to make to-do lists, works better for my brain than the digital lists. So I guess we have some minimal paper usage, but nothing official uses paper.
FlippedOut
Yeah, internal finance and legal companies are usually the worst. But we have plenty that dont allow paper because its a security risk. It can be done, but most wont change processes, or there are old people who dont understand.
caledric
Except paperless bathrooms ARE a thing, just not in the US where conservatives are afraid a bidet will turn them gay.
Quebeker
It tickles my asshole it has to be gay -them
coffeysays
I would go gay for a bidet. No question.
NaughtButOne
I'm not afraid of a bidet turning me gay, I'm afraid of the Bowel Roulette landing on a turd that's made of 30% Velcro and 60% Elmer's Glue, and having nothing more than hopes and prayers that the thing will pressure wash my asshole clean and not leave me to develop a particular sort of swamp ass called Eau de Magic Tournament.
ProbablyCrazier
Dude, you still use paper when you own a bidet. You just need less.
caledric
You don't need paper, you just need something to dry off with. Some bidets will dry you off as well, or you can have a personal cloth... or you can waste toilet paper.
crushingbore
You're still supposed to wipe.
caledric
Your bidet sucks ass if you still have to wipe. You should only need to dry off.
SirJimmothy
As a big man, I have to put powder on in the morning. I ain't letting a bidet wash that off and rub myself raw.
ProbablyCrazier
Im so confused. And also concerned.
DdCno1
Powder?
SirJimmothy
What, as a Brit, I habitually call talcum powder, although now it's just generic body or baby powder. Thick thighs do not always save lives :<
DdCno1
Wow, I've never met anyone who had to do this. I hope you are getting professional help. If that's necessary to prevent chafing, then your obesity has progressed to the point of being debilitating and life-threatening.