BravonandaMoirangthem
274201
7088
190
May 11, 2017 9:31 AM
BravonandaMoirangthem
274201
7088
190
borislives
What did the big polar bear say to the little polar bear? Doesn't matter but it broke the ice - Hi, I'm Greg!
KyledoesITwithGoogle
My personal fave, "Are you from the middle East? Because you Israeli hot!"
CondescendingCunt
Personally, I'm rather partial to "Oi, slag, ya should go take a piss so I can plug yer leak."
PavlovianProgramming
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven because you are literally Satan.
ax0l0tl
I love this one.
1douchebag
"I put the STD in stud. All I need is U, baby."
Roguewang
Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
sarcasticuss
Scienceisaliarsometimes
Damn girl you shit out of that ass?
surfingangel
Ho ho ho. what was she supposed to do? cooking?
diregamer
Just sayin but if she can change her oil with her ass or idunno roll up a lvl 4 d20 character I would be impressed.
Twichy
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only inbred I see.
SnuppDuckyDuck
The french one is so true it's sad.
Niddhoger
Same with Italy. Their men are seen as "romantic" in the US, but Italian women see them as "drunken rapists" and "that shithead who beat me
CondescendingCunt
Frenchies and Italianos are easily among the thirstiest, most pathetic dudes on the face of the Earth.
IconicNebula
SweetNarNar
I'm embarrassed that that's Seattle's line
Gamemaster64
I don't even think that seattle, it more of general pokemon nerd.
MethGasolinePissLemonade
It's closer to "Hey girl did yo- " "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?!?!"
ALX21
Girl, my love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in!
rakunz
Hey, are you a school? Because I want to shoot children inside of you.
wambu
Brutal.jpg
Electrogourd
use this one on my gf regularly, she laughs every time
railgap
"I'd really like to take you to breakfast; should I call you or nudge you?"
sarcasticuss
Sneakers! Love that movie.
TinyOctopus
Hey lady. Tiny Octopus would like to to hug you with all eight arms.
rudejohn
*and the ninth one NAHIMSAYIN
MaggGyver
Actually male octopodes have a modified arm they use to deposit sperm *pushes up glasses*
aPokal
One of the eight is that naughty arm actually.
ThouHastNoPizza
Hullo TinyOctopus!
[deleted]
[deleted]
SectsDryve
You must have read enough Hentai
saganworshipper
@TinyOctopus ...the elusive, third-person, cephalopod.
BenjaminPannell
Excuse me, female. Your physique has attracted my attention. I desire copulation.
ThouHastNoPizza
Best one
SpotMeBro
Furthermore I wish to begin negotiations to induce regular meetings at agreeable dates. After which start a contract to cohabit a dwelling.
proracing53
My favorite pick up line.
Norinatsu
One I got was "Damn, I would drink your bath water"
CairoLen
Ew
Baccano2015
Hey, does my rag smell like chloroform to you?
Strostkovy
Fun fact, chloroform doesn't work like that. Led to a really awkward first date.
CarryKnuts
But.. I used that on my mom. She said she didn't remember...
CarryKnuts
No, is that your cumrag?
Inappropesmagotes
"Why, do you wanna be the next one?" That one gets the ladies.
CarryKnuts
GrabEmByTheEmbassy
My go-to is, "Which one of you sluts is drunk?"
Lauwine
My favorite is "do you like whales" yes? "Great because we can humpback at my place"
thismakesnosense
Damn girl are you a fire alarm? Cuz you're really fucking loud and annoying
LordChappers
England: Is your dad in prison? I would be if I was your dad!
Squelchtone
Nice!
LoveFadesAwayButThingsAreForever
Thats great haha
SenzaNome
Hey girl, are you a math book? Because you've got lots of problems.
Estesark
Hey girl, can I be your math homework? Because I'm hard and I want you to do me on the desk.
trryptonite
The Indian dude gives me a rapey vibe. I'd watch my drink around him.
karanperson
He is indian, social interaction is not their strong suit. And they learn how to pickup from bollywood films which treat woman like trophy
Vectorman2
That or you better curry up and finish it before he tries anything
CarryKnuts
Mrbrown512
You forgot the Texas Pickup line http://s.hswstatic.com/gif/car-rebates-incentives-2.jpg
Wombatish
Wanna truck?
LuncheonsAndDragons
Absolutely underappreciated.
Nachman
Dad?
laegaren
I thought that Bangkok was one of the pickup lines :|
ThisStatementMightBeFalse
Oh god... My dad's name romanized is 'Bangdong'. I haven't noticed since now.
ExTechOp
No, it's really for charades https://imgur.com/FqHBfSk
rrlyrae
iowa state!
Thirdy
Do you have a coin? Because I'm bankok.
jizzuan
If you're asking for coins then you're clearly bank-not-ok
Lambdafish1
With the gender roulette that they have going, it's pretty common for them to bangkoks
AnneGwishZ
Gender roulette sounds like a band name
timbonitus
Bangkok in Bangkok!
AManWoman
Did you try it? Did it work?
alsoAzrael
I tried it any now I'm literally drowning in women. Wait, that's not right, I meant that some women are drowning me. Close enough.
dwoodyd
I. DID. TOO!! ????????
licensetoillite
Lawl me too
jesusisherelookbusy
England: "A'rite luv, fancy a shag?!" " 'eres a fiver, let me see ya jugs."
ZlaZena
And it works every time!
itisntisit
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2zc783
SanchoLibre
Malz42
Suichimo
Those are called glasses.
Hybris51129
For some reason I read this in Tracer's voice.
jesusisherelookbusy
I was thinking more along the lines of Barry the Baptist from Lock Stock.
LordXenomorph
She says "a'rite luv" quite a bit
Arthot
So did i, Great minds think alike i guess.
Yrmsteak
Well she is into women. She probably said it at some point
Hybris51129
Sniper from TF2 would probably work as well.
TheBelleOfTheBrawl
My favorite, "nice shoes, wanna Fuck?"
TangyGraffiti
This works, all about odds.
xXPawnStarrXx
I worked with a guy who would just walk up to women and ask if they wanna sit on his face, it actually worked... like ALOT.
TheBelleOfTheBrawl
This.... doesn't surprise me
PizzaSlutForever
Scotland. Gonnae ge'us a jump then?
PizzaSlutForever
Aye. Away inrun up ma ribs th lot eh ye... lol
peanutbutterinmyveins
Here dawl, you wantin pumped?
rightsquareintheballs
Gonny nip ma pal?
milkisaliar
Gies a swatch o' yir fanny!
BobSagetDidNotRapeAndKillAGirlIn1990
I cannae understaun ye, com again?
milkisaliar
Begging your pardon, if time permits, perchance may I have a small peek at your lady parts?
STinkyBM
My favorite is " Damn bitch. Did you hit every branch when you fell out the ugly tree".
fourkingbaker
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
LumpyStranger
Damn, girl, you shit with that ass?
SgtRazor
Are you a high school? Because I swear you have eight periods a day.
rickeyspanish
Baby You have the face of a Saint....Bernard
LookImNotYourFather
My Favourite one is ' You'll do, get in the van'.
ICheckUsernameAndSuch
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
E2THEGZ
Damn! Girl!...did you just fart!?..."EW NO!"....becuase you just blew me away.
Hokie5
Want sum fuk?
MarkoNummemees
Lemme smash.
Sturdycrotch
No Ron, I don't want sum fuk
Eaglemk4
Or damn girl did you fall out of an ugly tree because you missed every branch
CaptainDeadpool
"Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face"
Trichotome
"Did you fall from heaven? Because you very clearly didn't belong there."
feeltheice
No but I did break a nail climbing from hell
DavidIsTaken
"Do you wanna come over and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?"
Therealquestio
"Did you fall from heaven?... just Because you look like satan"
FaxCelestis
"Did anyone ever tell you you've got Yugoslavian arms?"
CaptainDeadpool
Lol what??
FaxCelestis
"no of course not, that would be stupid, just forget I ever brought it up. The point I'm trying to make is..."
FaxCelestis
I WANNA B UR LOVR BABY I AINT GOT SOMEONE TO LOVE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd-0wHETSSY
BattlebornLeotards
The ugly tree actually toppled over onto my last ex...
Thedailywumbo
Vectorman2
Aren't you insulting yourself for admitting you dated her?
BattlebornLeotards
I'm like a Keebler elf to ugly trees.
Vectorman2
You Sir, have a way with words. Can I hire you to write my wedding vows for me?
kkus
do you need someone to wed or do you have that covered already?
craaaaaaaaaaaaig
I'm tryna smash
carrotsoup
MOOMM??
CardboardPizzas
The ugly tree is my family tree.
Cisforstupidthatsgoodenoughforme
"Can I smell your pussy?" NO! "Oh... must be your feet then."
bentwrenches
An old favorite of mine.
velociraptorpanda
My bro uses: "Did it hurt?" "When I fell from heaven?" "When you fell from the top of the whore tree and banged everything on the way down."
theLimerickGuy
Ooh, are we negging?
RabbiKirschbaum
Works every time!
LuSiDity
Awwww, bitch.
maliciousGman
http://www.homevideos.com/freeze-photos-drama/savingprivateryan219.jpeg
Shamalamadingdongtoyoutoo
Then got beaten with an ugly stick
ohmegatron
"You look like I need a drink"
flightlessfruit
In the words of famous German poet Mickie Krause: "Go get beer. You're already getting ugly again." https://youtu.be/l8DvYmx7YFw
Kopar
It's okay, a frying pan broke her fall.
HotshotOcelot
My friend loves the whole "Damn girl you shit with that ass?"
TheBumOnUrCouch
Loves the *hole*. I gotchu fam.
SmarterChiId
and eat a bunch of leaves on the way down
huggies130
Saving Private Ryan
TheGreatCatMassacre
*gasp* I upvoted to 2000... I feel special
ScumCommander
Sploosh
flashnbg
My favorite ( roughly translated from Serbian ): Hmmmmmmm - works only when whispered in ear from behind and you look good (while grinding)
stresstwig
yes, yes i did. :p
Grehgous
Damn girl, are you a computer program? Because when I look at your body all I see are 0s and 1s
scotishforthreedays
"Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?"
Gingergingerbobinger
To this day, I swear that I created this joke as a kid 30+ years ago. I even remember thinking my way through the punchline at school.
flightlessfruit
Possibly a fake memory. A huge part of our childhood memories never actually happened...
ihateeverythingandmore
Why shouldnt you created it? Probably true, if youre serious. But maybe some other people had the same idea, so it's difficult to find the
ihateeverythingandmore
to find the first one. But you sure were one of the pioneers.
AngelDistortion
Lemme smash
HostileNumber17
Face was on fire, put it out with an axe and a wet chain.
kiddub
Fuck Paris' pretentiousness. Your city is dirty and your people are rude.
zesillyamericanshoho
Fuck you too! http://imgur.com/W4Qe9K0
sarcasticuss
username checks out
MitchBeaucannon
*some people*. Some can be really nice. If they want to.
mknickin
Why is Paris dirty?
Ombreuse
I moved to Paris at 18, it's not THAT dirty, but the metro is really old and yes, really dirty. They clean and renovate but it's really long
MethGasolinePissLemonade
Been to London, and Paris. London was much worse than Paris.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
The garbage pickup/disposal operation just isn't run very well. A lot of it ends up in the street. It's more of a minor problem, though.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
That's second hand knowledge from friends who lived there for a few months so take it with a grain of salt, FYI.
CondescendingCunt
Because French fucks live there.
mknickin
Username checks out.
WholesomeCrackwhoresForSale
they basically shit in the streets
Voidkom
not really though, it's just full of poor immigrants
whyisitsohardtochoseafuckingusername
not really though, it's been like that for a while
Voidkom
It was the greatest city in Europe for the better part of a Millenia.
Unquote
sounds like you are the kinda virgin that tells every woman they are an angel
kiddub
Nah, I just don't pick up women I don't really want.
ratfaceddog
Or ones you do.
cinemeasctha
France is sick of your shit...
DickMercenary
The French are cunts.
TheresnoDanaonlyZuul
TIL I am a French girl
ThawedCaveman
Am French, and that was a very French thing to say. Paris is the capital of love and romance, not one-night stands.
Zixtank
France has been sick of the rest of the world's shit for centuries already.
zesillyamericanshoho
Well... Street harassment is a huuuuge problem in Paris, we're sick of this shit for real.
Ombreuse
Yes. Yes. All of the yes.
clubfootjohnnyjohnson54
Officially, I've heard!
Strongharbour432
But I think romes was by far the weirdest
TheTitsOfThisGuy
Well outside of France the rest of europe are sick of the french so it goes both ways.
GieopJoze
What do you expect when 80% of the population eat Xanax as you'd eat skittles?
bellapadella
Also the Thai mum must be quite tired if his son calls her each time finds a chick
asm80dfa8sdfj
I was like "Jesus, this is a really elaborate pickup line. It's like, 17 lines, actually. Oh she's just complaining."
DynamicWeight
I felt cheated. Give me my French pick up line!
eetsumkaus
hon hon hon Eiffel Tower baguette
UnforsakenClamtrap
ThatFoodTruckGuy
According to Duolingo: "Ils fait chaud ici, ou bien c'est vous?" Probably some accented letters in there, but I'm too lazy to get them. 1/2
ThatFoodTruckGuy
Basically it means "Is it hot in here, or is that just you?"
UnifiedHivemind
Also Duolingo: "J'aimerais vivre dans tes chaussures pour être avec toi à chacun de tes pas." (don't actually use this; it's creepy.)
YumKat
"Hey mademoiselle, t'es charmante, ça te dirait une glace à la menthe?" meaning "hey miss, your charming, would you like a mint ice cream?"
ICampOntheFirstDate
To be fair, it's Paris. A lot of Parisians have the typical New-York-style "no time for your shit" attitude, except they're French.
yourmomisminenow
Parisians are dickheads as far as I've heard.
HeyRocco
You can hear those pick up lines everywhere, mostly said by "ghetto" people and douchebags. But you got a point about Parisians. 1/
HeyRocco
(Speaking from experience since I'm a French dude). Most of the times the girls didn't stop when those dumbass called her in the streets.
Saratje
Parisians will be Parisians. Not even the French like the Parisians much.
JajarlTruc
I hate Paris and Parisians like a lot of french people.
labyrinthconvention
instead of dividing us, why can't the world focus on the things we have in common, like hating Paris and Parisians?
flightlessfruit
As a German, I hate the Parisians just like I hate the French in general. Nee, nur ein Spaß, Ihr seid klasse!
JajarlTruc
Well, no one likes you in Europe so that's ok I guess
Vectorman2
Leave it to the French to take something fun and turn it into a pretentious rant
kmikl
LIFE IS SHIT YOU PREPOSTEROUS ANGLAIS SQUARE-HEAD.
Applepotamus
themuttonisniceandlean
I love ennui cat.
TheLastZombieCat
Stuff like that definitely isn't fun. Just awkward and pathetic.
ajizzle
The salt is real
zesillyamericanshoho
Yeah. Fun. Especially when it's 4 times a day (I'm not exaggerating) and the guy is blocking your way and proceeds to insults you.
Vectorman2
You seem down, girl! Mind if I pick you up? ;D
zesillyamericanshoho
This one would actually be very refreshing to hear IRL :D
Galactasaur
If I didn't find it pretentious, does that make me pretentious?
imooforyou
No she just made a very common opinion about pick up lines. Her attitude about it was French as fuck though.
Browndogdown
I thought that too. As if France is the only place with cheesy pickup lines and they're the only ones smart enough to see through it >.>
CoolGuyCoolDude
That makes you oblivious. Just kidding, it probably means nothing
Vectorman2
That all depends, how do you pronounce Mozzarella?
BenjaminPannell
Why Moezriela?
Vectorman2
Scientifically speaking the more vowels you put into Mozzarella indicates your pretention level.
ICampOntheFirstDate
Honestly I don't care for such a pedestrian cheese when Asiago has so much more potential ... Oh shit I guess I'm pretentious.
Vectorman2
Asiago? I see someone has never tried berry infused Moroccan goat cheese aged for 12 years inside Rosie O'Donnell
TomtheGrizzly
Oui. Also French.