inbedwithacupoftea
56105
7170
392
Apr 2, 2013 9:07 PM
inbedwithacupoftea
56105
7170
392
ALittleHurricane
These women deserved so much better from a society that cannot understand that sex is a consensual act. Not a privileged one.
TacticusThrowaway
Which is why rape is generally considered one of the most horrible crimes imaginable, especially when it's M>F.
Pinkpajamafairy
Look again, it's not all women holding these signs. ..Heart breaking either way.
flexmovington
They all appear to be female, from what i can tell.
Pinkpajamafairy
the '8 years old' one appears to have male pattern baldness and a male looking torso. I could be mistaken. Either way, its still tragic. :(
IWishIWasLokiEnoughToMeetTomHiddleston
It looks like she just has blonde short hair.
brattykat
I was sexually molested when I was 10, it took me 4 years to tell my parents. Found out later he got the shit kicked out of him I was happy
mysterymeatmonday
In case you're wondering, this is Project Unbreakable. http://www.facebook.com/projectunbreakable?ref=ts&fref=ts
jacrabbitt
thank you :)
erhmgur
This is Project Unbreakable, Grace Brown, the creator takes pics of abuse victims to take back the words that once shamed them.
IshouldBeInBedAlready
Thanks
ThatsKindofRaven
to everyone contributing with their own stories, my prayers go out to you through your struggle, no matter how long ago it was.
moganna
I shouldn't have gone down to the bad comments . . .
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
For years my neighbor sexual molested me and took pics of me. He is in federal prison. I still have issues but am engaged to an amazing man.
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
I joined the movement and will be adding a pic. Taking back another piece of me. Will hope to add Imgur to my support system. Still need it.
MobMotherScitah
Power to you, hun. I'm glad you're healing.
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
Thank you its been a long road and there are still many obstacles but i have the best support system ever
MobMotherScitah
That is VERY good. I am very glad for you. Keep strong.
Blackroseofwar
Congratulations on the engagement!
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
thank you
FloatingOreo
I'm so sorry that happened.I hope you realize that you're an amazing person too.It takes amazing strength to talk & share a story like that.
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
Thank you I still have issues but I have a support system and can get through anything
FloatingOreo
You really are amazing, I just wanted to say that again. Many people realize too late that they can fight all evils with love.
thesmokie
"Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal. These are principles, which every man of every faith can embrace."
melga
I agree but there are understandable reasons to steal or kill (not to really do it, but to want to or need to) but for rape, there are none.
thesmokie
I know this is from a movie... but... it's just so right.
SometimesIFeelLikeAGenius
Do you mean The Kite Runner? That movie was great. The most basic sin is stealing. You steal a man's life, pride or possessions.
QuinCOBOL
The real villains are those that act like it was the victim's fault.
IWishIWasLokiEnoughToMeetTomHiddleston
...and the rapists, but I agree, it's both. +1
QuinCOBOL
Well that's kind of a given.
IWishIWasLokiEnoughToMeetTomHiddleston
Yes, but you said "the real monsters" or something, implying that the other people are less monster-like than them.
QuinCOBOL
Duh. It's meant to provide deep thought; make people think much harder before they judge rape victims.
IWishIWasLokiEnoughToMeetTomHiddleston
?
WinterPhoenix
I was raped @ 12 in a park bathroom. It took me 5 years to tell anyone. The said I lied, because if it was true I would have told then :(
Thuperduper
It's sad that that is the most common response to rape.
outofshapewithmessyhair
I'm so sorry... I believe you. I send you the biggest virtual hug ever.
domesticpeach
No one believed me either. Not even my best friend. *hugs*
InternetHappenedThatsWHY
I don't tell anymore. Apparently people think it can only happen a certain amount of times.
RonnaPiranha
I support you, don't let anyone keep you down. You are a survivor!
gingerlyred
I was raped when I was 5, then at 17, and at 18. I was called a whore by my family, and I still haven't been able to tell anybody, I'm 35.
honeymadison
I just want to point out the incredible dialogue this comment allowed.
youpetthatkittyrightmeow
I'm sorry for you hun...I know all too well the horror a rape victim lives through. It's a very devastating thing to survive.
The4thDiamond
I believe you, don't let them hurt you. When I told my friend she said exactly the same thing.
Trollhydra
Just reading some of the stories makes me want to punch people. I hate this rape culture we live in and worst, people just accept it.
thegoddamnFUCKFACEwhisperer
I know that feeling. Message me if you ever want to talk.
zaeyagonewild
This is so sad. Traumatized children rarely can speak about their traumas. :/
blueblairey
I am so sorry <3
wronggengirl
Same for me too, but just molestation, not rape.
WinterPhoenix
Thanks everyone. You rock! Im 33 and have 12 yo and something happened. She came to me knowing Id believe her. That is my silver lining! <3
WinterPhoenix
I looked years later and found he had died in a crash. I am grateful he cant hurt anyone again but lacking closure was surprisingly painful
smelseatheawkwardturtle
I believe you...
TitzMcG33
I waited three days. I was scared. He lived closed by, and I kept seeing him. I reported it when he got angry with me yelled at me (1
TitzMcG33
when I was walking past his house. I walked right past my house to the police station literally across the street. I wasn't taken (2
TitzMcG33
seriously either. My word against his. Rape kit said "force" he said "rough sex." Some things just really suck. No other way to say it (3
Mowglibeans
I had something similar happen to me. People will always tell you that you should have acted differently. They always try to justify it.
eclipsgg
This shit is sooooo frustrating. This has to stop.
brainstorm
I was in college when the RA (who I thought was my friend raped me) then he made me go get the 'morning after' pill. It was my moms bday...
brainstorm
I sat alone in the ER while he slept for 4 hours then the nurses scoffed at me for not using protection. I was scared to say I was raped.
CatsPitBullsAndBooksOhMy
I believe you.
OhElleNo
I was assaulted at a Church Youth Rally my freshman year of high school. I didn't tell anyone until college. Thanks for everyone's openness
RonnaPiranha
Always know that there are people who support you. Thank you for sharing!
vikingunicorn
<3 You're never alone.
LolaBelle
It took me forever to tell. They asked me why I didn't say anything at first..like they would have believed.
foulharpy
I was also assaulted in a park bathroom. I was 14. I was threatened so much by the 25 year old's family that I had to move out of state.
Lanabur
Own brother did to me and for the longest time my parents didn't believe me. Now I am 20.
MarionTheLibrarian
I have the same story. I feel your pain. I am now 26, it happened when I was 6...
Lanabur
I wish we could hug each other right now. I haven't told any one or brought it up in years <3
MarionTheLibrarian
**Virtual hug!**
Jackie0
"this is what you deserve" I bled everywhere. He made me clean it up
iamnazgul
*hug* Imma punch him in the fucking face for you <3
NiceHopping
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry.
JustAnUndevelopedImage
This is from me:
And this is for when you need it: http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
*hug* anyone who knows anything about psychology knows that's bull....I'm so strong
mwppmarauders
It took me a while to tell too. I actually saw the guy sometime later. He refused to look me in the face. It gave me great satisfaction
outofshapewithmessyhair
that bastard. He should be ashame. Stay strong, hugs!!!
mwppmarauders
to see him so obviously ashamed by what he'd done.
JustBecauseWhyNot
Started when I was 7, oldest brothers best friend. "Let's go upstairs and play video games" still haven't tokd my family.
JustBecauseWhyNot
He has 3 daughters of his own now and I carry that guilt that he may be doing it to them but there is no evidence and it was so long ago.
zazafrazz
I'm so sorry you had to see him again, but I am satisfied he was ashamed. Good on you for being brave enough to face and stand up to him
mwppmarauders
My friend offered to punch him and I told them "No, he has to live with it every day. That's punishment enough."
Internet101
you´re a better person than i´ll ever be. i would probably beat the shit out of him myself.
zazafrazz
Wow. That takes a lot of strength. You should be really proud of how you handled that. It would be a shame to give him any justification
enchantedpancakes
I'm so sorry that happened to you *virtual hug*.
tentsie
I was molested when I was 12. He threatened me and I told about it to my friends. I'm scared of sexual things because of that and I'm 17.
tentsie
I need to add that he was 20-something and double my size. I told him I thought he had a nice face and asked if I could draw him.
tentsie
The next thing I know he slams me into a wall and is touching me everywhere and I can't stop him because he is so much stronger.
Yepitsausername
You can come back from that! I had the same experience, but at 22 I found someone who is patient and understanding. There's hope!
tentsie
I hope so. I'm still scared, but I got some confidence when I had my first gf. We aren't together anymore but I feel she helped me so much
ZeldasChampion
I'm so sorry for this stupid world we live in. I still haven't told my parents b/c I know they wont believe me
NiceHopping
My parents will believe me, I just don't want to bring it up with them. It was bad enough telling my brother.
supercurl
Same here, my mom knows but I can't tell my dad. It was my cousin, and if my dad knew he'd probably kill him. Theothers wouldn't believe me.
JustBecauseWhyNot
same fear here, I don't want my family being punished for serving justice.
Imonthebrutesquad
I believe you.
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
I'd just like to put this out there - If anyone would like to send me a message about anything you're feeling, or something that's happened1
thoughtisdeathtomeIcannotchoosebutlookonthee
Same here, if anyone wants to talk, just message.
BellaAthena
You're one wonderful human being for offering. I'm free to listen too if anyone need someone too write it down too. It helped me!
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
please feel free. There will be no judgments, should-have-beens, nothing. Just someone to listen.
youpetthatkittyrightmeow
I love you.
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
Right back atcha, fellow Imgurian! <3
jezibel
i wish you were top comment.
SexDrugsBirdsandRocknRoll
I just hope someone who may need it sees it :)
jezibel
someone has.
vikingunicorn
(1/2) When I was 5 my babysitter molested me. I bit him hard. My parents didn't believe me because had MS and was a family friend. I was
vikingunicorn
(2/2) grounded. At 9 I was raped by a troubled teen my mum was counseling and druggie his friends. I didn't dare tell and be called a liar.
phlat6
Same happened to me at age 5. It was the son of close family friends. I didn't tell anyone.
vikingunicorn
*his druggie friends
Sinniri
That's just horrifying :O How are you today?
vikingunicorn
21.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
If I found anyone trying to rape someone, I don't care if they killed me, I'd go into a full on rage at them. Nails, teeth, fists, elbows...
lumychan
How about when I was 17: "This is what you get, you hurt me first, now it's your turn!!"
WillCorrectInaccuraciesForFood
i'm glad you got away after. I hope you have been able to move past it and know it wasn't your fault...
lumychan
he was mad cause I broke up with him for another guy. I'm 26 now but it's still in my past. I'm more protective now because of it.
lumychan
oh and I'm engaged to someone else so I really moved on but seeing posts about rape reminds me I'm with them.
phlat6
it wasn't your fault.
lumychan
and even though I ran away after, I believed it was my fault for years.
peachess2
I was told "Don't ever let me do that again". I didn't I just wasn't strong enough to fight him off me and he watched me cry the whole time.
phlat6
You not being strong enough was NOT what went wrong. It's not your fault.
thewaterbear
I understand completely. -hugs-
WowSoSparkly
Wait, he told *you* to stop him? Talking about rape is 1 thing, but hearing about the fucked up things rapists say ... You stay brave ok?
peachess2
drop her rape charge against him. Our whole relationship was like that but I couldn't leave until I grew a spine. /flex. 4 ppl including me.
aroha93
It is NOT that you didn't have a spine. He sounds like he was abusive, and there was nothing you could do about that. It's not your fault.
peachess2
Thank you, I did. We were married and I ended his career in the Air Force and he went to jail for assault in exchange for the other girl to
bananasarethedevil
No one told me that your husband could be your rapist. 8 years later I finally got out, police did nothing. But now I get to know real love.
aroha93
Congratulations for being strong enough to get out.
RChrono
Anyone can be a rapist, spouse or significant other aside. I'm sorry you had to go through that. At least you're better now?
chefryank
These women are brave as shit. Brava
TheLastSonOfGallifrey
My thoughts exactly.
funkmaster40
Fuck that shit, these PEOPLE, men and women get raped. I hate it when people turn this into a woman's right thing.
procrasturbation
*Brave, Mr president.
duthiam
male rape victems deserve to be recognised
pranav9369
agree.some times dare is not enough
snowbunny622
my heart...
jaskey
This is not the time and place, but bravo for ladies is brava? or is that just a typo?
tangowolf
Italian is a very gender-specific language; he thought they were all women so he said "brava."
chefryank
It is not a typo. Brava is correct when given to a female
jaskey
Thank you!
DrHark
Although technically the feminine plural is "brave". http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bravo#Italian
jaskey
Thank you
Housemaster
Those men need to give a swift blowjob to a cactus filled with poison.
lukemwp
and then receive a prostate exam from it.
GoAvadaKedavraYourself
more like they need to be raped by a cactus.
IKnowImADogOnTheInternet
filled with poison.
ilovepinweels
No one believed me, I was 8 they though I was just dreaming. The "nightmare " was every other day. Till
ilovepinweels
I moved away. 8years have past, and my mum still doesn't believe me. But I can smile. I can smile cuz I knw he's rotting in his grave
ilovepinweels
I can smile because I'm luckily enough to have serviced. Like these women. We are services . They may have taken our innocence but not our
ilovepinweels
Souls. I now have a wonderful loving respectful boyfriend . He's mending my heart and teaching me to trust again :) I wish you all courage.
ilovepinweels
Survived*
themisfit
that last girl. the look on her face. damn.
ILoveCreamPies
I was molested at 6 by my stepdad, at 12 by a family friend, raped at 15 by my aunt's husband. They come in many forms and can be deceiving.
DrFloyd
I just want to give you a hug:(
Sophamapoph
That's so horrible. They are evil.
ILoveNirvanaTheBandButBuddhismIsCoolToo
These women are so strong.
WillisTheCat
Not strong enough to push off rapists.
besit0s
Thirteen years old, by someone you thought you loved. Got pregnant. Got pushed down the stairs. almost 4 years later, hes still on probation
oojeyboojey
Stay strong, I'm so sorry for what happened to you.
Kissmyshinydafodilass
As a man, I could never do this to a woman, or anyone for that matter. Stop rape.
Washdaytomorrow
Similarly, I could never murder a woman or anyone for that matter. Stop murder.
TheAlot
Thank you for saying "stop rape" and not something about women taking responsibility for their own actions. No action should result in rape.
Brunettesnotfighterjets
As a woman, I would never rape a man.
CupcakeDragon
As a woman, sometimes it feels like the good guys don't get recognized enough. If you'e ever in Canada, I'll buy you a coffee.
SNORTH
Thank you. If only more men added their voice in opposition...
amirelevent
I hope we will one day live in a world where people don't have to say thank you for others saying they can't rape someone.
QWTFODDBALL
We live in that world right now. If you think the men in these images are the rule rather than the exception you are ill.
amirelevent
I agree with you completely. They are not the rule. I'm a guy and I don't rape. I'm just saying that rape needs to stop being so common.
QWTFODDBALL
I don't know how common it is. My problem with available rape statistics is that they include many different acts all categorized as rape.
QWTFODDBALL
For example two drunk underage teens, theyre both rapists under the law. Thats not really the same thing as a man violently raping a woman.
QWTFODDBALL
But in most of these studies it is treated as though it is.
PossiblyNotAGoblin
4 years old to 12 years old. Meth was more important to my mom than why her BF always took me to the back room.
impulsivepassion
:( so sad..
Dalylah
As a mother myself, I can't even begin to fathom this. I am so sorry this was done to you.
NoHilda
you are strong, you still live, keep the strong
Imonthebrutesquad
oh, god. I'm so sorry.
PearCat
I am so sorry. Imgur loves you in the most honest way possible and we support you in all your decisions moving on from it.
FloatingOreo
For all humanity, I'm sorry.
PossiblyNotAGoblin
If you think drugs only hurt you, you're an idiot btw.
CaptainSublime
I am sorry. God bless you, and I hope you have an amazing life. It is not over yet. :)
Tetrahydrocannabinol
This makes me want to murder rapists for a living.
PreviouslyKnownAsiHaveAnExtremelyLargeUsernameSoThatiStandOut
I'll rape serial killers.... wait wut?
inyourheadunderyourskin
Who made you judge and jury?
dougche96
Want to start a business?
dudeface
Join me.
arghnard
One reason why I can;t wait for GTA V to come out.
kittyclawz
Let me join you.
Owlygirl
I'll join you. Just let me at 'em.
littleshoe
I still think they should just be castrated, but then some of those sick bastards just like the control and pain they cause and will (1/2)
littleshoe
still try to hurt people even without their bits intact (2/2)
mitanni
The fact that there are female rapists prove that you don't need a cock and balls to rape.
littleshoe
Another sad truth :(
AnarchistAbe
I've often thought about how great that would be. Killing those who don't deserve life. That is a job I would LOVE to do.
SometimesIFeelLikeAGenius
AnarchistAbe
Ha! That. A thousand times that.
jdijdijdi
Sick fuck.
sevenofninetertiaryadjunctofunimatrixzeroone
You'll probably get DV'd because imgur tends to like retributive violence, but to me the idea that anyone doesn't "deserve" to live is sick.
AnarchistAbe
Thank you, I suppose.
SometimesIFeelLikeAGenius
Your name, I feel like I've heard it before.
AnarchistAbe
I was in a pretty popular screencap about 'blowing @NeilPatrickHarris' the other day...It got >1000 points. Maybe that's where?
mitanni
Become a judge? Or if you like the personal touch of taking human life be the guy who does lethal injections.
AnarchistAbe
Lethal injections are too expensive, and the legal system takes too long for mixed results. I would prefer something far more...direct.
mitanni
If trials are too much of a hassle then you're not interested in justice, you're just a would-be murderer who doesn't want to go to jail.
AnarchistAbe
"Justice" is not letting a murdering piece of shit like OJ Simpson or Casey Anthony off the hook on a technicality.
AnarchistAbe
[4] to live the minute they decided to end an "innocent" life.
AnarchistAbe
[3] We're more than happy to lock them away in a cage until they die; but we're not willing to kill them? Why? They forfeited their right
AnarchistAbe
[2] "Justice" isn't letting the Aurora shooter live the rest of his life out. There are some people who no longer deserve life.
JustADumbRename
Who downvoted you///
TheDullEffectsOfYourSuitcase
Pacifists, in all likelihood, or just people who don't like the idea of AnarchistAbe randomly killing people
AnarchistAbe
Liberals. Butthurt liberals who can't accept that there are people who don't deserve to continue living. Call me heartless, but there are.
mitanni
Maybe they just see taking life as an unfortunate necessity and not something you lick your lips fantasizing about.
JustADumbRename
I'm a liberal! Hi!
AnarchistAbe
I apologize. I was generalizing, which I should not have done. I believe those who downvoted me are those who see ALL human life as sacred
AnarchistAbe
[2] don't get me wrong, I believe in the sanctity of life. But I do believe there are those who have forfeited their rights to its gift.
tellmeaskme
It's not your job to decide who gets to live and who gets to die. That's also why the death penalty should not exist. Lock them up.
AnarchistAbe
Why? So we can pay for these sick fucks to rot in jail? Look up the cost of keeping a prisoner per year. It's more than the cost of a bullet
mitanni
Of course, the cost of the legal process in sentencing someone to death is much higher, because you need to be completely certain.
tellmeaskme
dont judge so quickly. everyone can make mistakes, i am not saying to forgive them. btw also the people who judge can make mistakes
TBKU
"He was found NOT GUILTY in court" -- These ones scare me, there's no way to really tell what happened during the misplaced memories.
SwagicalYololord
Technically if they were both intoxicated, the court system cannot define it as rape. :(
balkingtowinnie
yeah, the one advice to give all guys is to NEVER touch a woman that is drinking, Ever. Never hook up with a drunk woman, that is just bad
DontTellMeYouCant
I'll add this to my list of unreasonable advice.
BrendanFrye
Props. My thoughts exactly.
HELPits3AMandicantgetoffthecomputer
"I got blackout drunk and came onto a guy. It's completely his fault." Why should he be held guilty in court? Take some responsibility.
TBKU
I agree. It's completely he-said she-said. Tough one to find appropriate and fair justice.
Wankley
2/2 We hold drunk drivers fully accountable for their actions, but if a girl gets blackout drunk at a party, she's absolved entirely?
DanceComander
and the other (while still a conscious choice) relies on the manipulation of others. If someone drives drunk, theyre the problem. If (3)
DanceComander
I'd argue there's a difference. Someone drunk driving drives knowing they're drunk. Someone doesn't get drunk at a party knowing they (1)
TBKU
No, my point is that the situation sucks. If it was a drunken encounter then not-guilty was probably the correct outcome. It just sucks.
Iwillnotfearfearisthemindkiller
I have to agree. I'm a woman, I've been black out drunk and engaged in everything from fist fights to sexual encounters. It all sucks (1)
Iwillnotfearfearisthemindkiller
but if you initiate the encounter you have some responsibility. Lines get blurry and that is scary. But two drunk people at a party both (2)
Iwillnotfearfearisthemindkiller
partaking in a sexual act is hard to define. But she still initiated sex. I can't in good faith call that rape.
DanceComander
are gonna get sexually assaulted. Not saying this WAS the case, just stating that there is a difference to me. One is a conscious choice (2)
DanceComander
Someone gets blackout drunk and gets molested, the other person is the problem. (4)
Wankley
I know what you're saying, but it seems like if you tell a girl that she made a mistake getting blackout drunk, you're "victim blaming" 1/2
MrMyth
She was old enough to drink, and not a child hopefully.
Wankley
and all the sudden you're a rape sympathizer.
DanceComander
And I don't agree with that at all. The issue is not that some people tell her she made the mistake of getting drunk, but they tell her (1)
DanceComander
That she made the mistake of getting raped. They blame her for the situation which was not of her immediate control. Blame someone for (2)
DanceComander
What they do, not what someone else does as a result of their poor choices. All i'm saying.(3)
btrain5489
A blackout is short term memory loss. You're not unconscious, you're capable of saying no, you're only missing short term memory.
DanceComander
No. We don't know, we weren't there. But regardless- anyone who is ever sober or even less drunk taking advantage of someone who is (5)
DanceComander
Same damn thing as accepting a proposition from a child/teenager. At some point EVERYONE has to take accountability for their actions. (2)
connerfusion
except for drunk women, apparently
DanceComander
Blackout drunk to have impaired judgement. I also never said anything about her being unconscious. She *may* have been capable of saying (4)
[deleted]
[deleted]
DanceComander
Getting blackout drunk is stupid- but so is taking advantage of someone in an extremely inebriated state. You don't even have to be (3)
DanceComander
Clearly heavily inebriated is the one at fault. Most women who cry rape because they regretted a one night stand weren't drunk. (6)
DanceComander
Anyone. ANYONE. Who is drunk to the point of losing short term memory should be treated as having impaired judgement. It would be the (1)
btrain5489
There's a difference between impaired and incapable of making decisions. Impaired people should STILL be held responsible for their actions.
btrain5489
People that think blacking out absolves them of all responsibility for their actions have no business drinking.
brfatal
1/2 W/O knowing the details I can see it from HIS side when making assumptions. I've had female friends I wouldn't do anything with make
brfatal
2/2 passes while completely gone. It's not completely kosher, but if they initiated it, even if drunk, they need to accept responsibility.
wroif
This whole debate is ridiculous. If a somebody kill somebody else when he's drunk, he's responsible. But if a women have sex while (1/2)
wroif
drunk, it's rape? I think that people, men or women, should be responsible for there action when they're drunk. Even if you regret the (2/2)
wroif
choice of the person with who you wake up (3/2)
Wankley","
Oh man two drunk people hook up and all of a sudden dudes a rapist. Pretty fucked up on her part tbh. Maybe don't drink til your blacked out
flipmaflippers
what's more scary is that only 3% of rapists spend even a day in jail
keeglesmcgee
Yeah I don't know the situation but I have a friend that was 16yo and tried/found not guilty after a girl who was 17 raped him & blamed him.
mooncactus
I'm sorry about that. Something very similar happened to someone close to me and it sucks.
LordoftheDance
no doubt the accused's life was probably ruined by the charges, even though he was found to be not guilty.
mooncactus
Yeah. He'll have a record now and may even be unemployable just because she 'can't remember'. I hate when girls pull this shit
LordoftheDance
I've hooked up while wasted with people I wouldn't have while sober. It feels shameful when you wake up, but it isn't rape. Bad choices.
MrMyth
As a victim, I take shady cases like that very personally. It makes us all look like liars when one drop of poison taints the water.
mooncactus
I agree, it's not fair on those who have legit cases
balkingtowinnie
The thing is, the girl should NOT be drinking that much around guys, and the guy should have never hook up with a drunk woman. just sucks
imnotmotivatedenoughtofinishthissenten
Women should be able to drink as much as they want without worrying that they might get raped. There is never an excuse for rape.
balkingtowinnie
that is very true. But sadly bad people will do bad things. Just like I don't park my car in a secluded place just hoping no one will steal
wroif
What if she actually started it, while beeing drunk? is it still the guy fault, if he's drunk to?
TBKU
No, girls should feel safe to drink around people. What shouldn't happen is drunken hook ups.
balkingtowinnie
That's exactly what I was trying to say but everyone got all pissy about it with me.
TBKU
That's because we don't live in a Utopian society, but yeah, I understand the sentiment.
imnotmotivatedenoughtofinishthissenten
The "misplaced memories" means it was rape. It's not consent at that level of intoxication. I'm surprised everyone here is blaming her.
TBKU
I'm not blaming her. I'm saying, with the information that we know, its difficult to sympathize with her that her accused was not convicted
iambilbobaggins
simple solution: don't drink.
TBKU
I would agree with this, but I like whisky too much. :)
wifeaggro
I've had sex while blacked out. I've never accused someone of raping me for it. double standards
TBKU
Not trying to defend the accused, but the girl very well may have been sexually aroused and into whatever was going on at the time.
JustPyro
And I've seen some very coherent people that you later find out were totally blacked out.
buttfondler
what the fuck man
TeSoad90
I agree you never really know, she could have very well started it. Just cuz she doesn't remember doesn't mean he raped her.
mooncactus
THANKYOU. Seriously, thankyou. She shouldn't have accused him of rape just because she couldn't remember anything. She's irresponsible.
TBKU
Just saying, scary stuff for both sides. Should probably stay away from drunken sex with anyone except a partner.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
simply too dangerous and can fuck your life up too much if the girl calls foul later for whatever reason (2/2)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
agreed, I don't think it's rape but let me tell you I won't go near a girl if she has had so much as a beer, simply because it's (1/2)
wolfalice
Yes, which is why you don't "go with it" with someone who is obviously drunk.
AsterBTT
But if you yourself are drunk . . . the point is that while horrid that second-to-last one is a bit of a slippery slope.
wolfalice
He remembers what happened, she doesn't. He had obviously had less to drink than her. It's not "slippery".
TBKU
Fair enough- but often easier said than done- especially if both are intoxicated.
wolfalice
He remembers what happened, she doesn't. He had obviously had less to drink than her.
MastrWigar
This, so much this. I was thinking the same thing.
hotmilk400
that one sucks, some girl drinks to much.. you meet her at a bar and she wants to take you back. next day you are in court.
royandmossladyproblems
Your first sentence gives you a clue - maybe stay away from the girl that drinks too much.
hotmilk400
yeah, i never sleep with girls who i know drank to much unless i hooked up with them before. its the best/safest way
flipmaflippers
only 2-8% of charges may be false, but surveys suggest people think up to 50% of rape reports are fabricated.
mitanni
How do they prove them false when they have enough difficulty proving them true, and most rapes go unreported?
flipmaflippers
I dunno, but a lot of people think more accusations are false. Esp. those who drop their charges because no one believes them/ pressure
WillisTheCat
Yeah that one was bullshit, if he's telling the truth and she really did start it then that is entirely her fault.
TBKU
I wouldn't say entirely. Intoxication and consent don't go together.
TBKU
Well, in a perfect world, he should have realised she was too drunk to be making those decisions- it's just a very hazy situation.
btrain5489
She's an adult. If you're conscious you should be held fully accountable for your decision making. Blacked out people can say no.
btrain5489
Anyone that thinks being blackout drunk is an excuse for their actions has no business drinking.
Muffinburgler
If she was so drunk she blacked out, it's rape. Period. It doesn't matter if she's gyrating and begging for sex. If she blacks out=rape.
Awintersday
Since no one has the possibility of being in her head, how exactly can anyone fucking know if she is blacked out?
zeshoopuf
But how can you know someone is that drunk? Sometimes people black out even when they've acted almost sober. And if both black out?
sevsquad
it's quite the double standard that it only counts for women though.
Muffinburgler
I didn't say it only counts for women. By all means, if the man is blacked out, it's rape as well.
sevsquad
Not really in the eyes of the law it isn't
DrGonzo87
She just said she didn't remember how it/what happened. I woke up at least five times in my own bed not knowing how I got home. 1/2
Muffinburgler
I can't see your second comment, but not remembering=blacking out, according to my med books.
DrGonzo87
I didn't fainted or anything, I was just pretty drunk. That could have easily happened to that girl. She could have very well started it.
flipmaflippers
Exactly, why are so many people downvoting this comment? they just don't want to accept there is a culture of victim-blaming
lokojewfro
No. It's DV'd because the comment is wrong. Period. If you have sex with someone because you both want to it's not fucking rape.
flipmaflippers
If you are very drunk, you are not deemed capable of consenting. No c
TF2215
But how do you know if they are blacked out? You don't
Muffinburgler
She said she blacked out.
TF2215
But at the time of sex you can't tell if someone is blacked out or not and if both are drunk how can you blame one and not the other?
subtlemrs
The point is that according to the law, if you are drunk you cannot legally consent to sex.
kinje
And if he was drunk at the time too? If they were both drunk, both appeared to be consenting, how does that make *him* a rapist?
subtlemrs
That depends on several factors (which state/judge) and is often taken on a case by case basis.
kinje
Sure - and apparently in this case, the judge/jury ruled that it wasn't his fault. My point was that we don't have all the information.
holyspandexBatman
not upvoting rape.. i'm upvoting courage
lukemwp
really? i thought you were upvoting rape.
oddreesofeea
http://redd.it/1bljsp
CaenKrahn2
What about me? A 19 year old male who was raped by my stepmom from ages 8-13? Do us men get no recognition when we get raped?
memeallthethings
I'm sorry for what you went through - but Muboo is right. Don't compare - stand up and be a part of this movement. Courage may save.
savvibleque
Women are more strongly looked at because we are apparently weak and 'always' vulnerable. I care about men just as much. I recognize.
gliciousness
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserved so much better from the adults that were there to keep you safe. :(
AzaellexTytalus
Men submit to project unbreakable as well. Maybe you should submit. I hope you find healing in your life and I'm sorry that happened to you.
ireallyneedabetterusername
No Men do not get the attention they deserve. Men can be raped as well and it's just as vile, sick and horrid. My condolences for your pain.
Niirah
We need to recognize that sexual violence can happen to anyone, man or woman, and we need to put a stop to it, and to violence in general.
schneeschnecke
Bravo sir, you fucked since early days :)
mandlez
Until a couple years ago the legal definition of rape ONLY included a man ON a woman. The myths of rape are codified.
zazafrazz
(1) It is actually your story, and stories like yours that needs to be told. There is a misconception that rape is an attack against women
zazafrazz
(2) when in reality many men are raped as well. I am so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that you have been able to find support
zazafrazz
(3) in this too. Rape is rape, no matter the gender. If ever you need to talk to someone, please do not hesitate to message me
gaybutnotforpay
That sucks man.
Homophone
Rape is vile, regardless of what gender the victim is.
Omny
You should make your own photo like these. Who knows; this could be a great way to raise awareness.
Kitastrophe
Is the one in the grey shirt not a guy?
annehka
These are photos from Project Unbreakable, they work with ALL survivors of sexual assault. They travel the USA but one can submit
annehka
a photo to them as well, and it'll be put on their homepage and blog like the other ones.
NinjaKittyz
I think a large part of it is men don't like admitting it happened, it's almost like it makes them feel less manly admitting it.
Muboo
There's no need for a comparison. Why don't you be a part of this movement?
TacticusThrowaway
And nice job dodging the question.
TacticusThrowaway
Because movements like this tend to do a crap job of addressing male victims and female rapists as well.
annehka
Project Unbreakable, where these photos are from, works with survivors of all genders. One will also fins submissions from men on their blog
TacticusThrowaway
Oh, thank goodness. Still, why did OP only use female victims?
annehka
*find
Muboo
Oh? You seem to know a lot about it. What are your sources?
TacticusThrowaway
Plus the "Rape is Fape" campaign, which fought for rape to be defined by the FBI as penetration. Not envelopment or being made to penetrate.
Muboo
It's against feminist values. There's no need for penetration to consider a "legitimate rape" (sic).
TacticusThrowaway
And the term "Violence against Women", which automatically genders it.
Muboo
Is it the term that genders it, or just the facts?
meximan282
no you do. You just have to say something about it. and fewer men speak up than the already scarce women who speak up.
Smugcat
I was too... I just turned out diffferently. I became a sexual fiend and chase cougars. Go figure.
danicaliflow
Always. Rape isn't purely a female pain, and neither are eating disorders.I'm sorry for the shit you've been through.
jups2709
That horrible bitch deserves the same punishment as any other rapist! I'm so sorry that happened to you.
lesbiancheerleader
Shut the fuck up. No one said that, you self-righteous prick.
CupcakeDragon
Over the internet support and snaps/hugs for being open about it.
buttfondler
wow derailing much?
CindyWho4
NO ONE gets recognition unless they speak up, & there is far too much victim blame on BOTH sides. *huge hugs*
chaosofslayer
Niceee
Tokeru
hero
amyv
asshole...
wowchick
I think rape of anyone is wrong...it doesn't matter if you're male or female. As a survivor, my heart goes out to you.
Whenyoufallinabottomlesspityoudieofstarvation
If you look at the rest of the project, there are plenty of guys. I'm so sorry that happened to you, though.
chorus1brassgirl
You get recognition, I am very sorry that you had to go through that
shinymonkeys
These look like they are from Project Unbreakable. You can share your story too; many men do.
mashasobaka
One of the signs up there is held by a man, and yes, Project Unbreakable (from which these are taken) features male survivors as well.
RegretNothing
For some reason, society associates rape solely as a male sexually attacking a woman. It's absurd.
sherbetty
i agree, just because its more common for men to assault women, and men don't report it as often people make these assumptions
Muboo
Patriarchy conditions it, creating a culture of woman rape and a culture of fettering manliness.
HeyFolks
You shouldn't be downvoted. It's absolutely true. Not everyone thinks like that but, too many people still do.
RegretNothing
eh, i regret nothing if i'm either downvoted or upvoted ;)
HeyFolks
Like. A. Boss. I'd rather be downvoted to hell than changing my opinion for "points"
RegretNothing
and this is why, you sir, are fucking awesome.
ArtisticEcstasy
This is identifying rape victims in general. Nothing is stopping you from participating with a pic.
Thuperduper
Posts like this are to stop RAPE. Not just rape against women. If you want recognition, you have to DO something besides post a comment
strepanier
Make your own sign and join the survivors, don't hate because you aren't standing up there with them. Be proud you're a survivor and strong!
Sanneshine
I'm sorry this happened to you. I was raped, too. It can happen to either gender. You have MY recognition, as another survivor.
meatyerawfulgee
What part of this post said anything about not sympathizing with male victims?
idlefan
These photos are from Project Unbreakable and the full collection of photos includes many photos of men.
brikhouse2
it's not a competition but I think there is even a larger stigma 4 men to report it so it goes unreported even more than women. rape is rape
Fuckweasel
Rape is rape, regardless of the gender of the rapist or the victim. Of course you're recognized, well, at least here. :)
hydrozoa
who said you don't get recognition? just because these people are speaking up, it doesn't take anything away from you.
Origiins
We need to raise more awareness for men's rape. It sickens me that people don't believe its possible!
EMPIREwolf
It's unfortunate this side of the story is not heard or told as much :/ I'm sorry for what you had gone through.
beck25
Not at all, put your story up there then! Men need public support too.
VforVictorious
You should! Men speak about their rapes even less than women do.
emurd3
As a third wave feminist, yes, female-male rape is absolutely a problem. It's statistically far less common, but no less harmful.
DiglettDigDiglettDigTrioTrioTrio
I've seen more men shouted down as liars when talking about their experience, its hard to get recognition when ppl dont want you recognized
Thrabalen
To be recognized, you have to stand up, and men are less likely to do so. If you buck the trend, I give you my full support. +1!
DiglettDigDiglettDigTrioTrioTrio
You have my deepest sympathy. The CDC doesn't recognize "made to penetrate" as rape, so depending on your situation, it may not be "counted"
Thereflex
I am sorry that happened to you. Your pain is every bit as terrible as any other victim's, and your stepmom is absolutely a rapist. 1/2
Thereflex
I truly hope you have someone to support you, and if not, PLEASE seek help from someone you trust or a professional counselor. Message 2/3
Thereflex
me if you want, I will listen. Never be afraid to speak out! And may you be safe and loved from now on.
richgaymac
-shares my happy blanket; Here you need some too (my happy blanket is purple and i wrap up in it when I get sad)
littleredhead
Men do not speak openly about being raped like women do.. But big hug to you for being brave as well! <3
CaptFirePanda
Every man needs to realize that if they need to come up with an excuse for what they've done, it's almost certainly rape.
LongandLost
This.
thelittlestofbears
This is very true. Everyone trying to knock it down is making a mockery of people who have dealt with this experience.
iliketosaysomethingandthenjustbanana
Actually you should rather think beforehand instead of thinking after. That mainly prevents stupid decisions/violence.
cheesemaccer
Hot damn, I've raped my work a shitton of times with excuses for being late.
CaptFirePanda
hurr durr
emeow
That is great, I've never thought of it that way. Pretty much works for everything: If you're searching for an excuse you know you're wrong.
TacticusThrowaway
No it doesn't. What one person calls a reason, another calls an excuse.
CaptFirePanda
YAY! This is exactly what I mean and I thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Battlepanda911
So if someone accuses you of rape and you come up with a reason why it isn't true, you're a rapist?
CaptFirePanda
Reasons are not excuses.
imanatheistdebateme
What is an excuse? What is a reason?
fblurbg
An excuse is a reason which is used to avoid responsibility for your actions. Sometimes excuses are legit, sometimes they are bullshit.
imanatheistdebateme
What do you call a reason that is used to mitigate your actions but not avoid responsibility?
Battlepanda911
Reason and excuse are a matter of opinion and perspective.
CaptFirePanda
Yep and based on my opinion and perspective, reasons are not excuses.
Battlepanda911
right, but that's just like, your opinion man.
emurd3
I don't know why you're getting downvoted to oblivion. The MRA's must be out in force.
CareBearWarfare
What you define as an "excuse" may well be the truth. "Oh we were both drunk. Sorry you raped me actually." What happens then...
CaptFirePanda
I get so many downvotes defending this point of view, I must be wrong....
YouDontGnomeMe
You are not wrong. Some people just have to dissect every little detail. I agree with what you said 100%
VeniVidiVomui
The problem is that your "point of view" is inherently sexist. Using a gender-neutral term would have been less problematic.
DrClaraOswinOswald
Is sexual assault, as practiced, gender neutral?
VeniVidiVomui
... duh?
DrClaraOswinOswald
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
CaptFirePanda
It has nothing to do with being gender-neutral and everything to do with speaking to a group of poeple I choose to address.
VeniVidiVomui
And that narrow point of view has everything to do with why it is wrong. Men rape & are raped. Women rape & are raped. Do not discriminate.
CaptFirePanda
You have no clue what discrimination is based on what you've just said. Do not be stupid.
Kingmala
And woman. Women rape as well.
CaptFirePanda
As a man addressing other men, that is not part of my point.
emurd3
You're not a misandrist. Recognizing that women make up about 2% of rapists (those reported and unreported in anonymous surveys) 1/2
Kingmala
I think you should change your point then. There are women on Imgur as well you realize.
CaptFirePanda
I am under no obligation to address any gender in particular. If I want to speak to men, as a man, that is my choice.
Kingmala
It makes no sense to address men exclusively.
emurd3
is just statistics. Most male rape victims are victims of male rapists, not females. Women also rape but they're FAR less likely to. 2/2
CaptFirePanda
Exactly! If I took the time to address every demographic that has been victimized, then I'd need about 140,000,000,000 characters per post.
AnarchistAbe
And did he need an excuse for this one?
?1 ? Not until she hauled him to court over HER mistakes.
[deleted]
[deleted]
AnarchistAbe
Did you just link back to the same page?
TheKingLeaf
Yes but relevant to this comment thread :D You already commented on it tho lols :}
EvilPineapple
I feel bad for that guy. If a girl realized she had sex with me and was so repulsed she called me a rapist. That would suck.
AnarchistAbe
It would indeed. But not nearly as bad as being labeled a 'rapist'. Or, even worse, be a convicted rapist; simply because she regrets it.
ChocolateEevee
No means no. I'm too drunk means no. I'm unconscious means no. I'm underage means no. I don't want to means no. It's his fault. Stop rape.
AnarchistAbe
[3] even if he himself is intoxicated? This whole thread has been an egregious example of the double-standard against men when it comes to
AnarchistAbe
[2] but it's still not OK for them to be drunk and horny? The man has to be the responsible one and turn down the sex?
AnarchistAbe
And we know that she DIDN'T initiate because....??? I hear people bitch all the time about "slut shaming" and "sexually empowered women"
AnarchistAbe
[4] issues of sex and/or intoxication. It's not her fault that she got hammered and fucked this guy. It's his fault. All his fault.
ChocolateEevee
[1] In all honestly, it's probably both of their faults as they were both intoxicated and couldn't give full consent. However, his response
ChocolateEevee
[2] when it was all over really set me off. It's a very sensitive subject for me.
twiggly
Fuuuuuuuck you.
AnarchistAbe
When and where? Just make sure you don't have a drink before hand, or you might charge me with rape.
CaptFirePanda
Not without my consent.
nohomo
CaptFirePanda: you are a classy gent. Can't upvote you enough for calmly taking the time to explain to angry boys how rape works.
CaptFirePanda
Thank you, sir. It may be some degree of hubris on my part, but I just want to stand by principles I think should be universally accepted.
CaptFirePanda
This is exactly what I was referring to... freinds don't fuck friends that are too drunk.
AnarchistAbe
Was it a mistake? Yes. Does he deserve to have 'rapist' on his record for life: no/
AnarchistAbe
But is it really RAPE? Immoral, yes. Rape? I don't think so. Hell, for all we know he was just as drunk. Two sides to every story.
emeow
Um you can rape someone WHILE you're drunk! Seriously!? So you would defend someone saying, nah it wasn't murder, he was just drunk as hell
connerfusion
hold on now; she can't be held responsible for her actions while drunk, but he can??? equality????
CaptFirePanda
It isn't his body, so it doesn't matter how drunk he might be. And, yes, without consent, it is rape.
AnarchistAbe
[2] influence of alcohol. Equality is a two way street.
AnarchistAbe
ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED! If he was drunk too; then by this logic they both raped eachother, seeing as each was touched sexually under the
AnarchistAbe
>it wasn't his body ; I just don't even know how to fathom this logical fallacy.
betterwatchoutforthosemaneatingjackrabbitsandthatkillercacti
If he was as drunk as she was, black out drunk, then he likely couldn't get and maintain an erection.
AnarchistAbe
If she was the one who started it, as he said, then how in the fuck is it his fault? Bad decision: yeah. Rape? Fuck no.
betterwatchoutforthosemaneatingjackrabbitsandthatkillercacti
If he was black out drunk, why does he remember who started it? Why does he remember anything? Clearly he wasn't as drunk as she was.
AnarchistAbe
[4] while I'm drunk. That is EXACTLY what you're saying. She can't be held responsible, because she was intoxicated (a state she chose, btw)
AnarchistAbe
"Not as drunk as" isn't something that he could have possibly known, and it isn't a valid defense.
cheesemaccer
So when two people have sex while drunk, we need to figure out which is slightly less drunk so we can accuse them of rape?
AnarchistAbe
[2] Well, officer. I got fucked-up on 151 and went to the ghetto and got mugged. It's clearly not my fault I put myself in that situation.
AnarchistAbe
[3] I mean, I wouldn't do it sober; but I did while I was drunk; so it is CLEARLY not my fault. In no way am I responsible for my actions
TheKingLeaf
I think I'ma get downvoted for this, but this one seemed pretty gray to me... : \
itstimetopaytheprice
Umm being drunk is not a tacit "yes". When you get ball kicked while drunk I'm gonna say "you should take responsibility for your actions."
JustADumbRename
With all the people and situations I have known in my life, I can certainly see that playing out both ways (guy at fault or not).
QuislingX
Read "you started it and I just kinda went with it"
TheKingLeaf
be responsible. S/he has relinquished the control of their body in that decision (imho) and have to rely on the good nature of those around
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
no it isn't, being the aggressor or saying yes is an explicit yes though....
TheKingLeaf
I mean if I'm being an ass then I agree with you, I should. If it's unwarranted that's another story. If she's blackout how can she even
TheKingLeaf
and personally I don't find that a good spot to be in. (Also your username's ironic here :P )
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
that's what I have trouble getting it's putting responsibility on someone else to rebuff your actions while drunk..can't say I agree with it
TheKingLeaf
But that's the reality is it not - who do you not agree with?
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I disagree that we can put responsibility on someone else, we are responsible for consent while drunk, that's it. If we give it then (1/2)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
it's on us for the consequences (2/2)
betterwatchoutforthosemaneatingjackrabbitsandthatkillercacti
1. He told her what he remembered happening when she clearly forgot everything. Doesn't sound black out drunk to me.
betterwatchoutforthosemaneatingjackrabbitsandthatkillercacti
2. He also managed to get and maintain an erection. Something else that's not easy to do if you're so drunk you're blacking out.
lukemwp
so.. you're saying that in order for it to not be rape they both have to have the exact same BAC? what if he was more drunk than her?
LaviLovepaw
Sex with an intoxicated woman, whether she says its okay or not, is considered rape. No one should take advantage of those situations.
lukemwp
If two drunk people have sex then it is always the guy that is the rapist! that is what i am hearing from you. if you disagree, say why.
creamyonions
So sex with an intoxicated man, whether he says it's okay or not, is not rape?
LaviLovepaw
By definition, it's rape, regardless of gender. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape#Consent
Jackal904
Well then I guess every college male is a rapist. Drunk consentual sex happens all the time.
lukemwp
yeah and i am a rapist for having sex with my gf while we are drunk.
roshampo13
Yah, would definitely need some more info to form an opinion on that one...
Gram2021
If hes drunk too then both are to blame. Even if he was sober what if she forced herself on him? Our society says dont hit girls. Pressure.
EMPIREwolf
I agree. Don't know her full story, but if they had both been drinking, I don't think there is very much ground for her to stand on.
TheKingLeaf
As the court agreed it would seem
RangerMiggy
I agree. I'm glad you didn't get downvoted for it.
roguepixie
If she can't say yes, the answer is NO.
Jackal904
Well according to the guy, she initiated it. This assumes he isn't lying. And you can't just assume he is lying cus he's accused of rape.
lukemwp
so by your own logic, she should also be charged with rape, as he was also drunk and therefore couldn't legally consent. yet she started it.
lukemwp
why is it always the guy's responsibility? They were both drunk and played an equal part in it.
TheKingLeaf
I like this.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
ah but he claims she did say yes, and then she called rape. Yes passed out this is rape, but so drunk she didn't remember doing it?
hookerbot5000
if you're drunk you can say yes, rape is rape but if you got drunk and hooked up then regret the decision the next day that's not rape
dropcode
why do you assume he did the asking? Maybe she did the asking. Maybe he was just as drunk as she was. If he was, why is she the victim?
lukemwp
because men assume all responsibility when it comes to sex and are the only ones that are required to make decisions while drunk.
BourbonAndFrisbee
We have no idea what she said then, she doesn't remember anything. If a male and a female are equally wasted, how do you split blame?
lukemwp
blame it on the man because he obviously took advantage of her and it wasn't a mutual decision. (sarcasm, relax)
BourbonAndFrisbee
I gotcha. Its such a BS argument and throws every "women want equality" notion out the window.
lukemwp
yeah, yet men are held to a higher standard while drunk. it's always up to the man to say no under any circumstances while drunk.
[deleted]
[deleted]
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
that is what she and the movement are asserting and what much of this discussion is about. Saying that's a bit grey
emurd3
No, that is NOT what the movement is asserting. Please do some reading on this topic before making assumptions.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
do you know what movement I am referring too? also why I am responsible for the burden of proof for your assertion?
balkingtowinnie
Just an advice for guys, NEVER flirt or try to hook up with a drunk girl, Ever. she doesn't know what she is doing or saying, Stay away
lukemwp
but... girls are completely free of responsibility when it comes to this?
balkingtowinnie
If you saw people responding to me you would see how everyone got on the hate wagon about it. Apparently girls can do whatever they want
balkingtowinnie
without caring for the consequences
IHaveChemistry
I think the gray area comes from "I woke up.' I dunno if that's waking up from being *passed* out or... un-blacking out?
EvilPineapple
You can fall asleep while blacked out and then wake up sober.
chickenandfarts
Pretty solid within "no heroes here" territory and comfortably within "shitty thing to do to a person" country. Rapetown-adjacent.
TheKingLeaf
Lol my favorite response to this shit storm yet!
Thongy
I was thinking the same thing, actually.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
agreed not enough of the scenario is given to even begin to form an opinion
imfuckinggay
the fuck is wrong with you?
buttfondler
its still rape because someone who is drunk/blacked out cannot consent
DynamicDash
But she could grab his dick... Maybe the guy was drunk, too. There are many gray spots here.
lukemwp
then she also raped him. they were both drunk.
Larannosaurusrex
I was on a jury for a similar trial. Having a man's future in my hands and just he said she said testimony...I hated it. It was a hung jury.
TheKingLeaf
That sounds horrid...
balkingtowinnie
what happened to the guy?
Larannosaurusrex
I was on the second jury who tried him. Both were hung juries. He went free. He was 45. She was 21. She didn't remember a thing. But had...
Larannosaurusrex
to have surgery to repair anal fissures. Sketchy circumstances indeed but no solid proof of what happened. I guess he went free. He...
Larannosaurusrex
...he thanked me as I left the courthouse. It was wrong. I didn't let him go free. It was a hung jury. He was a lucky SOB.
innominateartist
Hate to say this, but I agree. If she really "blacked out," then she has NO memory - and it's POSSIBLE she MAY HAVE initiated the encounter.
innominateartist
You can be acting fully functional and "black out" with no memory of what transpired during said black out.
Jackal904
I completely agree. Just cus shes drunk doesnt mean it was rape if she started it. Dont get mad at him cus you cant control your drunk self.
QuislingX
Yea, I had a very bad feeling looking at this one. In all honesty, OP should not have included this on in the post.
tonydataco
I agree. Don't know his side of the story. If he was in a clear state of mind then he should go to jail, but if he was blacked out drunk too
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I have problems even with the clear state of mind part, if she is the aggressor then it seems like HE is being made responsible for (1/2)
lukemwp
why does he have to black out for this not to be rape? he could have been REALLY hammered and not black out.
lukemwp
though if there is a completely different level of intoxication between the two parties, then yes, the sober one should be held accountable
tonydataco
Who's at fault then... Should both go to jail for taking advantage of each other???
TheKingLeaf
Then they should quit being fucktards and own their mistakes.
lukemwp
i don't think they should have to be exactly as intoxicated for this not to be considered rape.
lukemwp
like you see drunk people having sex and you say "hey, whoever has a higher BAC needs to go to jail for rape" that's completely stupid.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
HER actions and personal well being. I mean how is it his responsibility to overrule what she is doing in the name of protecting her? (2/2)
tonydataco
1) I agree with you, but I'm just going by the letter of the law (doesn't mean the law is correct) stating that a person needs to be capable
tonydataco
2) of giving consent, which being intoxicated, by letter of the law, means you are incapable of.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
well it's a bit more complicated then that but yes you're right, my argument is how the law is unjust
tonydataco
Yep, just like an 18 year old could charged with statutory rape for having sex with his 16 year old girlfriend.
72cardinal
It's immensely grey. "black out drunk" can mean a lot of things to different people. Just because you dont remember doesnt mean you didnt
72cardinal
at the time. He could have been just as drunk. Still not an excuse either way. Personal responsibility and limiting your consumption goes
balkingtowinnie
"Personal responsibility and limiting your consumption goes" This! Exactly. Why can people just not get stupid drunk in public?
0001029383848
A. "I was out with a friend", same tragedy could occur if she was 'in with a friend'. B. Something could be slipped in a drink.
72cardinal
a long way
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
indeed but that goes for both parties, she should have limited too
huellsmotelroom
Hmmm if I remember correctly, the stubenville victim was black out drunk also, I guess you'd call that grey too..
lukemwp
wow nooooooo... way to just exaggerate a point by using an extreme. she was completely unresponsive and her attackers were conscious of it.
TheKingLeaf
No, that was wrong more clearly. This picture holds far more ambiguity. It may be similar, but for the moment it remains gray.
mrmcspicy
text messages from the aggressors make it clear that it was actual rape
huellsmotelroom
So a text message or a video is necessary to make it clear its 'actual rape'? If a girl can't say yes, it means no.
mrmcspicy
but the jurors need proof of the situation before they can make a verdict.
mashasobaka
Consent cannot be given while drunk. Period. Educate yourself, God damn it.
LaviLovepaw
HOW THE FUCK ARE ACTUAL FACTS BEING DOWNVOTED?
innernette0
Then I better break up with my girlfriend for raping me so much.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
you do realize education is not the same as agreeing with your opinion right?
lukemwp
by your logic they should both be charged with rape. even more so her because she is the one that initiated it.
PandaNinja
Yep. If she started it, then it's not his fault
lukemwp
even then, the responsibility is completely on the guy then. like what if he started it but she wanted it and reciprocated?
PandaNinja
Wait? So you're saying if the girl starts it, it's still the guy's fault?
lukemwp
i am saying that this is just how it goes, but it SHOULDN'T be how it goes. i was also posing a hypothetical question.
MadreDeDragones
NO. Being drunk does not make rape okay.
QuislingX
She started it then took him to court. talk about being bitten in the ass.
titsandbacon
She was blacked out drunk, that doesn't mean passed out, she just didn't remember. Whose to say she didn't consent at the time? Not saying
PandaNinja
Why is everyone here too stupid to read that she started it. We don't know if it's true, but neither does she since she blacked out.
dropcode
What if he was drunk? why is she the victim and he the perpetrator? If they were both drunk then, by your definition, they raped each other.
titsandbacon
(2) The guy is innocent, but it could have easily been consensual
BourbonAndFrisbee
All she said was she blacked out and woke up in bed with a guy. Tequila does that, she can't remove all responsibility for her actions.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
in fairness if by blacked out she meant passed out then yeah she can, but the guy claims she was the aggressor so it's he said she said
btrain5489
Blackout drunk people are conscious, responsive, and know what they're doing. They just won't remember it the next day.
btrain5489
The fact that this is even a conversation proves that there are A LOT of people that have no business drinking or doing anything like it.
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
yup
TheKingLeaf
Then control your alcohol. I'm not saying that the dude is in the clear either, but maintain enough awareness to not get into the situation?
MadreDeDragones
2)I drink too much around friends (not at a bar, not at a party) and I think I'm in a safe place. How is it my fault if I wake up and am
MadreDeDragones
3)being raped by someone I trusted to control themselves and respect me as a person?
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
hold on now, we aren't saying passed out we are saying drunk. If you wake up mid sex then yes it's rape, if you are the aggressor (1)
balkingtowinnie
how about you just don't drink so much? is that so hard? No one should be raped, but at the same time people need to be smart
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
or EXPLICITLY give permission, then alot of use fail to see how you aren't responsible for it
MadreDeDragones
1)Controlling your alcohol intake is one thing but who's to say she didn't manage it to the best of her ability? There have been times that
TheKingLeaf
Well, that's why I said in my original comment that this is indeed a gray area - I don't think you can point the finger at the man (1/2)
TheKingLeaf
take some responsibility ourselves.
TheKingLeaf
or the woman with certainty. And this is why people are getting so fired up about this comment I'd say. We have to stop pointing fingers and
AnarchistAbe
[3] I drank. I did the action. I need to face the consequences. Equal rights doesn't mean "until being seen as 'the victim' suits me"
balkingtowinnie
I cannot believe you actually have positive points, I expected a comment like this to be downvoted to oblivion
AnarchistAbe
So did I. But it does wonders for my faith in common sense to see it positive.
DrGonzo87
Amen.
AnarchistAbe
[2] She wasn't passed out. She was drunk. I've done fucked up shit while I was drunk. Almost got arrested. It was MY fault, noone else's
gmarinero
Besides both could've been drunk.
Zalophus
(2) have sex with her, that is rape. However, I have personally known a lot of girls who were "black out drunk" yet were very sexually
Zalophus
(1) This. It's very hard to say what happened here without actually being there. If she was drunk and just lying there and he decided to
Zalophus
(4) if you were to look at the situation objectively and break it down, I would have had the better claim at being raped. Though fortunately
Zalophus
(3) aggressive with me, while I myself was very drunk. Many claimed to not remember anything and/or have blacked out the next morning, but
Zalophus
(5) neither they nor I had ever claimed it as such, for the record.
AnarchistAbe
If she started it I do NOT give a fuck if she was drunk. It was not rape. RAPE, by definition, is sexual conduct with one who CAN NOT say no
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
as long as consent is given, or beyond that the woman is the aggressor then I have a hard time understanding it as rape
brankthetank
Being drunk does not excuse behavior. It's almost like they shouldn't take into account alcohol consumption unless one party was passed out
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I agree with this concept whole heatedly, unconscious is always rape, drunk? not so much
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I got to say I agree, to me you are responsible for your actions, if you choose to get drunk and then choose to screw someone that's on you
AnarchistAbe
[2] they were both drunk. Her boyfriend found out, so she said he raped her. The jury sided with her, and that was the end of that.
AnarchistAbe
Regret is not a reason to charge someone with rape. I had a good friend get fucked over by that in HS. Dude has that on his record FOR LIFE
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
See for that exact reason (and the sheer volume of false rape convictions) is why I won't even let a girl anywhere near me (1/2)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
when drunk, It's just too dangerous these days, even a not guilty verdict will seriously fuck up your life. (2/2)
AnarchistAbe
[3] For the rest of his life he will have to deal with that. Cant get jobs. Can't ever go into a school. He's 22 now with that on his record
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
I was put on probation and nearly got kicked out of college and slapped with a restraining order..these days the threat is just too real (6)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
the cops immediately took their side, and so did my school, I was literally told "there isn't enough evidence here to prove anything (4)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
the girls had flashbacks and mental problems and confused me with events in their past. They had no proof other then some sort of (2)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
weird unease. Even though the only place I ever saw them EVER was at a school club that I had belonged too far longer than them (3)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
so that sort of stuff sends a shiver up my spine, I was accused of stalking a couple of girls when in fact they were just unbalanced (1)
thewordsoftheprophetsarewrittenonthesubwaywall
but small sweet little grls like that would make this accusation against someone like you so I think there is stuff noone is telling me" (5)