CatPresident
155433
6038
89
Shitstorm pending
FP edit: send me nudes please
Sep 8, 2016 5:11 PM
CatPresident
155433
6038
89
Shitstorm pending
FP edit: send me nudes please
Stranja
I misread earbuds for earwax... Nope.
jackhassle
T minus minus 100 days? Try again
grovberg
Because wireless headphones didn't exist until yesterday?
ItsMidnightSomewhere
It was on the radio this morning. They don't currently meet Australian safety laws for choking hazards. Might not be sold here.
otisdrftwd
Shitstorm pudding
Brandozip
T-minus 100 days till I accidentally swallow them, then attempt to see if they work in my stomach
AustinGT350
I like this idea.
PaxAuTelemanus
Coulda called them "Airbuds" Apple
videopro10
It used to be you could just grab the cord and pull them back out.
TairaMai
And que the $300 "beats" wireless headphone/pods so Apple can make more cash.
LunarSoul
T-minus 1 hour until someone loses just the left side. Instant regret.
ChainsawHandsJoe
Turn on your phone and jam out to your tunes through your toddler's digestive tract! - Apple, probably.
user76
Laws in the USA are crazy, fyi.
lightningboltkid1
Not super duper. Anon OP said Sue. Nothing about a successful Suing
MerToo
"It's great, now wifey & I can bluetooth commands to our kid from a distance and sticking their fingers in their ears CAN'T STOP THE VOICES!
the42
Wireless earbuds are already a thing.
djzkay
Yes, thank you. And many are more expensive than Apples are.
ashipthatshipsshippingships
Shhh, shhhh, let the circle jerk happen.
Gmayor61
Doesn't really make this any much of a better idea. Some wireless buds still have wires that at least connect the two, unlike Apple's
LumpyToucan
We know. Apple sucks because of making it only wireless
awakeasleep
Right? SMH.
AfRoSaUcE
I mean, it's America. It's bound to happen. But I agree, Apple has it's terms of service, warnings, and protections.
transientarchitect
Why? I mean, wouldn't it pass through pretty harmlessly?
Stormbeforedawn
Yes. Source, ate quarters.
marquisdechocula
I swallowed a quarter. The doctor just said I was fine as long as I wasn't in pain, and to watch my bowel movements for any change.
sleete
HAH
notevenaname
'And now, watch as I amazingly pass this quarter through, a quarter inch ring...'
GoneImguring
Amazing nose plugs too.
5tradivariuS
they should name them apple iLost
Thisseemsreasonable
Read "massive suit" as "massive shit". Both are probable.
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
What.... This can happen with so many other things. this is stupid.
FckyourselfSarah
Swallowing isn't cause for suit. Babies swallow an ungodly amount of stuff. Now "choke to death" would be a suit.
KrautMick
Beat me to it. Now if he craps out Beats by Dre ya gotta problem
ratfaceddog
Isn't that how BBD products are manufactured?
KrautMick
Fusionxglave
Actually that is quite possible not to mention how many other lawsuits from it being to load, too soft. too weird and etc.
TorSverre
That's the only flaw he could find?
thejearbear
I mean what are we supposed to do stay in 2016?? This year was the worst, even Harambe thought so
MrArchitect
I'd say 10 days because America
YourFaceIsAnInsult
I'd say 9 days because America
Cnogs
Wait? They're already released? As an American, my mind is blown.
Cheomesh
Bruh.
browsib
'MURICA FUCK YEAHHHH
midnitestate
Everyone and there mom has tried to say there note 7 exploded and destroyed so thing so why not
IronicUsername
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/oct/24/america-litigious-society-myth Also, similar headphones already exist.
INoLongerWorkAtAnOffice
Yes, all of us Americans were instantly born with retard level IQ's. You am genioos
GoldenVoltZ
BEACUSE WHO USES WIRED HEADPHONES? Wait... You mean like 99% of people have spent money on nice wired headphones? Well screw them.
Johnster95
"Breaking News: 3 year old chokes on mom's Airpods. Massive suit follows. More at 7"
KDA420
I had a site selling guitar plectrums once, I needed public liability insurance incase someone ate one and chocked on it! So stupid.
mikeatike
FOR VECTRON!
Autocorrected
*choked
handsMoleman
man, they must be chocking some really small wheels if they're using guitar picks...
ratfaceddog
You were surprised that you needed liability insurance to run a business? Wow.
dstatistics
Until you get sued and the insurance company pays the defense cost and settlement.
13thDukeofWybourne
Picks or it didn't happen
CobraFlyingAnA10DroppingSpidersBecauseScrewYou
Can't, he swallowed them.
Ironbunny
Your username is wonderful
CobraFlyingAnA10DroppingSpidersBecauseScrewYou
Thank you.
LookingCaliforniaFeelingMinnesota
Hey kids, it's endoscopy time!
AutonomousPrime
100 days? Lit lawyers have dated court submissions with blank signature lines for the day they launch.
Dayrest
Actually? This is something I would believe....
Cnogs
It wouldn't be surprising. Unless they put a child swallowing disclaimer on those things
Eicha
Child swallowing doesn't sound healthy
Dayrest
I don't think that would work. If you could prove negligence, it doesn't matter how many warning labels you have
Cnogs
Nah, slap a swallowing hazard on it and bury any who sued in legal fees and a long court proceeding.
Dayrest
Fair enough. But isn't that what class actions are for?
isthatyoujohnwayne
Yeah. But the internet would explode.
AutonomousPrime
Disclaimers are protection against 'weak' lawyers...
FckyourselfSarah
Warning choking hazard, keep out of reach of small children. Apple has lawyers.
Cereaza
inb4 warning labels are not legally binding wavers.
wellthatsjustyouropinion
the warning said no, but the eyes of the angry bird said "oh child yes!"
ExtraZOIDBERG
Like, REALLY GOOD lawyers too... Remember when God cursed humanity for eating an apple?
Suichimo
Hell, look at all the creeps God puts behind bars for eating brownies. He is a damn fine lawyer.
TJskillz169
HA, like that will stop someone from trying.
demshadowwolf
*mommy rubs them off* THERE WAS NO WARNING ON MINE!!!! *taking all bets*
Acronymicon
Mommy rubs off her kids? Gross
Sticklebrickk
Apple has money.
kmikl
So do litigation firms.
realwomenfightnaked
An adult will end up dying
5tradivariuS
ichoke :D
notevenaname
What if the kid can't read yet?
notamuppet
I was thinking the same thing myself.
OrcSkinSuit
If it happens enough, product recall?
biggreenfan
Great. People are going to be feeding the things to their children now.
OrcSkinSuit
They'll just get hungry 10 minutes later since it's Asian food.
TheClayKnight
SnackMasterRanger
Bravo mate.
Tanishh
Kids can easily swallow nickels, dimes, quarters etc but I don't see those being banned/changed. At some point we have to say enough.
INoLongerWorkAtAnOffice
"Warning contents may be hot" And yet McDonald's was sued because their coffee was too hot... I'd say there's a chance apple would lose.
IrishGirl39
There were some pretty extensive facts in that case that led to the jury's verdict. Check out the documentary "Hot Coffee." It's awesome.
baloosingh
it gave her 3rd degree burns in genital area. It was very painful and expensive medical bills wise. She wasn't trying to be a POS (2/2)
dandydust
i think the warning came after the suing. that famous case where the lady got her crotch melted from the micky D's coffee
transientarchitect
It was more than just hot, it was scalding. Full thickness 3rd degree burns in 2-7 seconds. Coffee spills in lap? You'll need skin grafts.
vobra
Your commenting career is off to a bad start.
MarishkaGinny
That woman was hospitalized with 3rd degree burns. Just a touch outside of what can be considered reasonable risk when drinking coffee.
SmileLines
Check out the burns that were left on the woman's skin that the jury wasn't allowed to see. It's actually quite awful.
baloosingh
This was my go to case for "wtf really" , but saw info on the net about the coffee was waaaay out of range of how hot it should be. (1/2)
cindel
If this is the case I'm thinking of, it fused her fuckin labia to her leg. IT MELTED HER VAGINA.
4chansdboard
This. Everyone misrepresents the case but it was set to like 2x the temp it was supposed to to reduce wait time at drive thru. Worst of 1/2
IrishGirl39
What infuriated me is that they had hundreds of complaints and board meetings to discuss the temperature and decided they'd rather pay
IrishGirl39
possible legal awards than risk losing money if they lowered their coffee temperature.
4chansdboard
2/2 all is the fact McDonald's just slapped on a warning and called it a day.
biggreenfan
Yeah, and if you look up picture of the woman who was burned--she deserved the award/settlement she recieved. That wasn't light burn.
MikeVick
The best part was that she just wanted her hospital bills covered but then mcdonald's went no and offered an insulting amount
IrishGirl39
What sucks is that bc of limits on how much of the jury award she could actually get, she didn't even get enough to cover her medical bills
biggreenfan
I didn't know that. You're sure this is the case? What limits it?
TheSecondRunnerUp
McDonald's lost because their coffee was so hot that they were breaking health and safety laws.
LaBix
Made worse because on previous inspections they were told the coffee was being kept too hot and they chose to ignore the warnings.
WolfMcCloud
Was like the coffee boiling or something? That explains why their brew is shit.
SnibbleTiggits
Pretty sure the lady got 3rd or 2nd degree burns from it. Look up pictures, it isn't pretty. They deserved that lawsuit.
AgamemnonsMemes
THey kept their coffee at 176–194 °F, and instead of not making it so hot they just put more warnings on the cup
JudgeMentalCat
It was so hot it melted the skin on her legs, fused her labia together, and ultimately caused 3rd degree burns
cindel
"I'll have a long black. Extra hot. Vagina-meltingly hot."
ButterfaceTaintClown
And also, notice how they've made them awkwardly long. A toddler would have to really commit to swallowing them.
SidneyHarbor
A toddler would swallow their own hand if they could. There is no thought involved.
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ButterfaceTaintClown
Gnnnnnn...
milante
Oh boy, do they commit.
ForrestIndustries
Have you ever met a toddler? Those things are determined.
ImGeneCreemers
"Those things" fucking grade A right there!