beautifulbiscuits
245699
12385
121
Dec 8, 2013 11:19 PM
beautifulbiscuits
245699
12385
121
Seichti
226. PLS SEND HELP! I'M CAUGHT IN A HUG FOR 3 DAYS NOW.
nartoff
The other person must have read this, too.
EnnieB113
Pirating another book imgur? Delightful.
Ihmhi
The author be all like: I HAVE SEEN MY BOOK.
odraencoded
What next? Posting photos and artwork without the author permission?
TiberiusClaudiusCogidubnus
It's not piracy if less than 10% is available and it's not-for-profit!
TheChinamanIsNotTheIssue
Shut the hell up.
DanOnTheInternet
I'm pretty sure a lot of people will buy this because they saw it here... also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qkyt1wXNlI
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
You should read what Neil Gaiman has to say about piracy.
EnnieB113
That is indeed amazing. I concur. That delightful was less disapproving and more evilly gleeful.
TiberiusClaudiusCogidubnus
You should read everything Neil Gaiman has ever said.
DanOnTheInternet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qkyt1wXNlI
ShartAttack
Don't give marriage advice. Here's some marriage advice.
victorinus
111. Go fuck yourself.
jnuholly
My thoughts exactly.
aStrangerVoid
#121
KingoftheWest
What's the name of the book?
MyLastUsernameWasSoLongIKeptForgettingIt
Commenting because my memory is shit so I can get this book for a future son
GrinchyM
I'm assuming, "Life's Little Instruction Book."
Darjanator
299. So many people trying to get out of paying for work I just have to demand 50% up front.
dbrsong
*229
FinalBackwardsGlance
When my son was born, I worked for 2 months to make a webshop, then I wasn't paid for it. Since then I always ask 50% up front.
CommieGold
229 Revision: Never accept a verbal contract, ever.
adhdork
67 seems to contradict 229 for a freelancer. Half down for a deposit seems to be an acceptable norm.
RadekBonksMullet
not so sure about waving to little kids on a bus...
beautifulbiscuits
I wave at them when they wave at me.
Serkuss
I should buy a boat.
IWishMyNameCouldBeRelevant
Misread #70 as "Hug chicken after you discipline them."
beautifulbiscuits
Chickens need rearing too.
dunkaguru
dont fart while getting a blow job
DobreAlexandru
Nobody teaches you that :) you have to learn it the hard way :)
Chaostar
229b: but be sure to pay for the damn work when it's completed. Don't be that guy/girl.
beautifulbiscuits
As someone who sells advertising, yes, that.
Zinxhetan
after "vote" and "never use profanity", you fucking lost me.
beautifulbiscuits
And then you upvoted?
Zinxhetan
I don't have to like every single aspect of a post to up vote it.
ohsillyus
We have a smart one on our hands.
Ootzil
This seems like it's going to go on for awhile. Favourited for later :)
TommyTao
totally worth the read!
alethalskirt
I can't help but read this with a British accent just because of the 'u' in favourited. I know it's not only Britain where it's spelled 1/2
alethalskirt
that way, but I can't help it. I just can't. 2/2
Ootzil
Haha I'm from Fiji, we tend to use British spelling though sometimes a couple of American versions sneak in. Was so confusing growing up!
alethalskirt
I don't know what a Fiji accent sounds like, so I cannot read the comment with a Fiji accent. :P
wolfenbones
I am american, but I think that somethings look more correct that way, Colour for example. even though spell check does not like it...
beautifulbiscuits
Hmm... Colourado.
Cyrea
As an artist with expensive supplies. If you follow 229 you're gonna have a bad time trying to hire an artist.
cowboypajamas
Thank you!
mtgjbone
69. Whistle while you work.
coimbrasousa
Birdjob
beautifulbiscuits
Did you picture the 7 Dwarfs after you said that? Cause I did.
mtgjbone
Actually. The logistics of fitting any 7 heads down there seems....sloppy.
ghostofryuchan
But if both people are waiting for the other to let go first in a hug?
EwanMe
Then you have entered the ultimate stage of humanity and advanced into a more complex world - the world no one understands...
desertmonk8
Infinihug
wolfboy0723
This.... doesn't sound like a problem that requires question!
hadtothinkofsomething
Then you know there is something special between you two.
Jumpinjackieflash
Then they work at Google.
TheStarkKnight
Then: 297+
sugar3
and that's how sex with grandma happened.
IxRxPHYSICIST
Congrats you found a pair of Canadians.
Quacquaraqua
Infintie hug!
OddBaal
awkward them away
DuckMom
http://missmementomori.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/5_21_italy_skeleton_hug.jpg
Aniceking
Then you get the most magical moment, then awkwardness, then magic again.
toolazytobeagoodnerd
First thing i thought too.
AlcoholicAtaxia
I did that once and ended up married.
CaptainHanderpants
"BOOM! Pregnant!" seems like a funnier example here.
prezkamm
I did that once and it ended up the worst breakup of my life.
AlcoholicAtaxia
How old were you at the time?
CaptainHanderpants
"BOOM! Pregnant!" seems like a funnier example here.
beautifulbiscuits
Hugternity.
Keoxat
I'd be fine with this fate
SmokeyBBQ
OP you forgot to cut one nail
hoorahforsnakes
hey OP, would you like some feces and arsenic brownies? i made them myself
beautifulbiscuits
Yummers
vipe650r
Then you get a really really good hug.
MrJohnsonAndTheJuiceCrew
INFINITE HUGS
IAmJacksDoubt
Who ever initiates it, ends it.
djimbojones
* with a handjob.
beautifulbiscuits
Ohhhh! Well that makes sense now. C'mere gimme some sugarrr, bro...
IAmJacksDoubt
I never turn down a hug.
DDB2020
And what if they don't?
IAmJacksDoubt
I wouldn't mind dying from a neverending hug.
DerpKugel
deadlock
Luukas
THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF IT!!
RAWRAxel
Well then, It's an endless paradox of amazing hugs! I wouldn't complain :D
parker3212
My English teacher reads us 5 of these everyday to start off class!
Thrive2003
66. I cannot stress how awesome 66 is. Fine arts is a dying subject in schools and it makes me so sad.
CommanderWilliamTRiker
My sister is in her HS band. And my GF is a color guard choreographer. I always support the fine arts!
moxymox
Did you mean 69?
[deleted]
[deleted]
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Music is a fine art course.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
As a band student, YES. it means a ton if we have an audience, especially if complete strangers come to watch.
Thrive2003
I did HS marching band all 4 years and love going back to watch the program grow and I'm a junior in college haha!
KarlNapf
300. Learn how to scan a book.
Califoxxycation
301. Stop being such an effin' ingrate.
KarlNapf
I did not ask him to do this, so why should I be grateful?
Califoxxycation
Like many of the hints up there ~ you'll get it sooner or later.
davidtheasian
my face at the end http://imgur.com/UTudfvJ
NoiceSmart
OMG PSYCH! Awesome.
M0MUS
When is Psych coming back?
grichen93
I did the exact same thing.
zotten
I was all: Yay psych.. then I got suspicious.. maybe OP tilted the photo's in the end? So I went exploring.. and YAY I was right.
whodathunkit
As an Australian, 90% of our houses do not have fireplaces, so the "Never buy a house without a fireplace" rule sorta screws us lol.
beautifulbiscuits
I'm in Arkansas and my house has no fireplace.My last one did, and I got a divorce. Think I'll buy a boat.
itsinmyprofile
resist that urge!!!
FedericoAstica
But don't leave it in the harbor, because in time its bottom will rot out.
BabyLetteLovesHerJuggalo
+1 for James Roday <3 anyone else watching the 2-hour premiere musical?!
spacedinos
I read this comment before I looked through all the pictures and was confused. Now it makes all the sense.
porkiloki
I did the exact same thing and the moment of understanding was better than even the end of the Sixth Sense
ThatJohnDenverIsFullOfShitMan
Oh my god, it's like this gif was made for this situation.
igesseni
Was anyone else expecting the husky pup reacting to the wine glass?
beautifulbiscuits
Yknow, they design highways with curves in them so you won't be hypnotized by the road. You're welcome. And +1 for using Psyche guy.
PraiseJeebus
Psych*
xilia13
Best possible reply.
[deleted]
[deleted]
znexx
Shawn Spencer
SeriousCloud
I have driven from central Missouri to Denver several times and am not sure what curves you mean.
Kodimous
Shawn Spencer* This show is awesome.
s1l3ntw1ng
Then who made the New York State Thruway/I-90
Somnophobe
#851 - Don't lick my arm; that's what weird kids do.
catsonmeth
You've made me outburst with laughter in class. +1
kleelu
HAHA! I have started saying this to my 5 month old. He licks everything and when he does I think of that
fraaspazmus
Update: Craftsman tools are mostly outsourced to China nowadays. Buy the best tools, not cheaply made, overpriced ones.
beautifulbiscuits
Duly noted. This book was published in 1991.
varsil
It wasn't even true in 1991.
NotaBumbleBee
Don't Craftsman tools include a lifetime guarantee, though? That's been the single biggest selling point in their favor that I've heard.
fraaspazmus
The lifetime warranties only covered their hand tools. They might still honor old warranties, but I doubt they offer new ones.
outdoorsman
Yes they do. They are still some of the best tools, second only to snap-on which are also made in the USA and have a guarantee
NotaBumbleBee
Now from a sears tool salesman- he says snap on and Craftsman are made by the same company. True/False?
outdoorsman
I believe it is Kobalt that is made by craftsman, not snap-on
UsedVacuumCleanerSalesman
The Craftsman "Industrial" tool line is still made in the USA and is of high quality. You can't get it at Sears though.
UsedVacuumCleanerSalesman
You have to order it through an industrial distributor like Applied Industrial Technologies.
fraaspazmus
Oh, the ridiculousness. I'm really curious about their justification in that decision.
Astridnaut
I have a copy as well from my Dad. I love it and every time I read it there's a different number that's relevant to me at the time. :-)
beautifulbiscuits
Ed Zachary!
AsAnAmerican
I found this book overpriced at a store, so I have a lot of pictures of pages like this. I still agree with your statement.
varsil
As a lawyer, re 112... no. There is a time and a place to argue with police officers. Know when that is, and how to do it.
beautifulbiscuits
As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit.
moxymox
Unless you can wedge "when that is" and "how to do it" into this book, the advice is good enough for most to get by.
varsil
When that is: Almost always. Stand up for your rights. How to do it: Politely. Think Canadian. Done.
moxymox
So you would prefer it read, "Almost always politely argue with police officers"?
varsil
Somehow lacks punch. And better is just "Keep your fool mouth shut around police officers."
HeckinDinyella
Ok I think sears and craftsman cowrote this.
itspatattack
Crafstman? no. Snap-on and dewalt ftw
Grapefruitspoon
Nah the man just knows good tools
itspatattack
Crafstman? no. Snap-on and dewalt ftw
AsinusAdLyram
They actually used to be very good. Then...well...ni hao.
Recyclex
你好
beautifulbiscuits
I CAN'T GOOGLE THIS!
DoctorFrasierCrane
it means 'hello' in chinese
Stoneagedudeman
121. That cat shouldn't buy that boat.
PanEdaCat
exactly what I was thinking
weirdcalculator
"If it flies, floats, or fucks, rent it."
beautifulbiscuits
That took me a minute.
CoreyTheGr8
sentimentalvaseline
My only regret in this life is that I have but one upvote to give you sir.
thepunniestofthemall
perfect cat mentality
emilyrunnes
'Never refuse homemade brownies' That's how you get in trouble
veryimgurwow
that's how you have a good time*
emilyrunnes
Shit, guys, I was just referring to the fact that I am severely allergic to nuts and most people put nuts in their brownies..
hoorahforsnakes
70 will get you into trouble too
beautifulbiscuits
Pedobear?
Faildoken
Not in Texas. It's not illegal to ingest it. Don't ask me how I came about this knowledge.
imredheaded
I am diabetic, I generally should.
Englishh
That's how I got fat...
dhelsan
And be sure not to leave any leftovers out. That's how you get ants.
murphssss
…or is it? heh heh heh
djimbojones
Suddenly, I like the cut of this book's jib.
Catumi
..trying to get motivated to do anything for a while.
ch3burashka
That's how you make good porno.
HipsterHippy
"Never mention being on a diet"
yamama
Hash brownies? I'll take twho!
winkwink
I just heard a story about this happening to my cousin on her 18th birthday. Her aunt also tried to take her to a strip club.
htmlandcssandjavascriptohmy
Was this aunt your mom??
winkwink
Nope. Aunt from the other side of her family.
Landcaster
I'm not seeing the problem.
Mcjelly
Plot twist: Her aunt wanted her to work there
NIC0LANGEL0
Me neither... I went to a strip club when I was 3 years old and it was one of the best nights of my childhood. (yes, i'm serious)
irlmaks
boooobieeessss
NIC0LANGEL0
My face was: "aww yiisss"... I even touched some titties, from what I remember.
juen8940
LOL. But srsly, what strip club let's in a 3 year old kid?
getthismanabeer
One of his parents probably worked there.