underpantscharleston
610751
12543
598
I was on edge.
I had been trying to summon the guts to tell them for months. I was at breaking point and just couldn't start the conversation myself. We aren't a touchy-feely, talk-about-our-feelings household. Then one evening my mother started joking about how maybe going out somewhere new would let me find a boyfriend, and I just couldn't lie again
"MAYBE I DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND"
*shit, did I just blurt that out?*
"why not?"
"I...just don't...."
*tumbleweed*
My mother "uh...well..do you... want a girlfriend?"
"MAYBE. I DUNNO. YES. Yes".
Mother blinks, then shouts "WELL, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY"
I was so taken aback. I was so sure she'd react negatively, given her uncomfortable reaction to tv portrayals of gay women etc.
"oh. Well. Good...I just have no interest in men. I never have. I just don't like them. So yeah"
then my dad speaks for the first time:
"I don't blame ya. I've no interest in men either"
Then we just didn't talk about it for a month, and now they just make awkward jokes.
Most anticlimactic coming out ever.
2newtoknowbetter
ur mom sounds cool
AnaphylacticShark
Omfg, I JUST watched this episode like 2 hours ago..
jivvy
Yay it's always nice when it turns out like that. I hope my experience will be the same. Probs won't though which is why I haven't done it.
willowtree88
Parenting, this is how you do it.
ANicePairofSlacks
That's like your mom saying "you want some pop tarts?" "NO, I LOVE TOASTER STRUDELS!" We all have our preferences
TacoRocket
This may be the alcohol talking, but that is one hell of an astute analogy, Buttobserver.
DataBender
I can't wait until this isn't an issue anymore.
MikaRRR
Aw. "Just want you to be happy" -------- that's how you mom. Love moms.
martianandy
I fell down the stairs, threw up on my Dad, then told him. Happy memories.
malcheus
The only good coming out is a boring one.
Whenlifegivesyoulemonsthrowthematpeople
I am a staunch christian and I would like to believe this is how it will go down with my possibly gay children.
mountainbelle
Please let this be how it goes down with your possibly gay children. From a gay child of staunch christians
NightsPlutonianShores
My family makes awkward lesbian jokes with me, it's how they show support. That and telling me about anything mildly gay that happens.
pixelsnader
Dad is amazing. Got through life, wooed a woman, raised a kid, all without saying a word.
Sairvous
My parents would disown me if i came out as bi.
UnspokenX
I'd say "I'll be your parent and love you the same" but considering I can barely feed myself without someone reminding me not to starve...
melbot2point0
Yeah I still haven't had the guts to come out to anyone but my boyfriend. But I've just always been in straight relationships so I guess 1/2
Sairvous
Sometimes it bothers me that half or more of my family is like that but then again its not something they need to know if they cant accept
Sairvous
it. I don't plan on having any real serious relationships with guys though because I know I want to end up with a girl eventually.
melbot2point0
It just doesn't matter at this point. I'm pretty sure he's "the one" so.
UnspokenX
grats on that.
samarinda
As a parent, I'm prepared for this. I don't care, just still give me grandchildren...
mizekel
I think anticlimactic coming outs is the right kind of coming outs.
Lemuffinmannn
I had to come back to acknowledge this being punny.
hullabaloo70
"That's great honey, now get daddy a beer."
craftycommando
if i was gay this is how i would want my coming out to go
raffwashere
*tumbleweed*?! I say that all the time and no one gets it. Classic. +1
Draygen
My sister told me she was gay over Thanksgiving dinner. I said, "Alright, pass the potatoes please."
bob3242
did you win or lose the bet?
Draygen
I'd known since she was 14. She told me when she was 20. She said I could have saved her a lot of trouble if I'd told her back then.
EXTERM1NATE
AllHailToHedgehog
I don't know why but this made my day.
MittyMagoo
They didn't tell you you were confused and going through a phase. I call that a win.
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
Epic dad is epic
LoneDirewolf
You had me at John Locke
PitbullsPublicist
did we ever find out what the show was about ?
dipmlxlfla
It was about dead people.... Maybe!
BecauseIamBatman
So I'm a newbie to Lost and still on season 1. I don't know if I like him or creeped out by him...he intrigues me
human8060
That's exactly how you should feel about him.
AmazonianWarriorPrincess
Don't read spoilers! And enjoy the ride :)
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
Why not both?! Enjoy the show mate! It's quite a rollercoaster ride. You'll love stuff and you'll hate stuff.. wish I had time to rewatch it
BecauseIamBatman
I'll dedicate my study time to this ride it's quite fun
roarbot
LOVE. HIM.
BecauseIamBatman
I'll do that mate
Opticallusion
but awesome. awesome parents are awesome.
KNOWLEDGEisPowerwastaken
This. Please never forget this OP.
badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody
awesome
AssStainedGlassPanes
awesome
Imghurrr
butt awesome
badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody
Very - very awesome
I69I
Theres some awe in that yea
Psyman2
Dads always get it. Hooray for dads!
Dominian
Men are generally cooler about lesbians than about gay dudes. But hey, credit where credit is due. Cool parents.
Psyman2
Isn't it obvious? No dicks in your kids make daddy happy.
underpantscharleston
Dad jokes mandatory even in serious situations.
IrohJR
"Dad jokes mandatory ESPECIALLY in serious situations" FTFY
ButtMunchersUnite
IM HERE BC I SAW JOHN LOCKE AND THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE A LOST RELATED POST. I LOVE LOST.
AmazonianWarriorPrincess
Upvoting all of these comments is makin my thumbs hurt (mobile user). I LOVE LOST TOO!!
unicornfun
My heart is shouting with you! I miss that show!
TheLivingJesus
qawda2wd12e
WHY ARE WE YELLING!! WAAAALLTTT!!
THEbitchtits
Me too but I'm also a lesbian so I'm torn
MossfromIT
Same here. I'm on a re-watch right now. My wrist is tired from upvoting all the Lost posts.
deadcow
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!
freakybender
Lost quotes time! Not Penny's boat.
TheGirlFromGallifrey
YOU ALL EVERYBODDYY
deadcow
See ya in another life brotha.
CodeE42
"Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?"
theesweez
I CAME HERE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS A LOST POST
MrEcko
I'm finally relevant?
theesweez
Your big moment and I don't even think anyone realized!
MrEcko
Haha, but at least I reached a new high with 10 points, so I got that going for me
Trumpcard814
I realized Mr. Ecko, I realized
LoneDirewolf
MRW I realized this wasn't a LOST themed post![]()
CodeE42
Good 'ole Jackface.
EulaliaSaxons
Somehow, I expected to see you in this reply thread, and if you weren't here, I was prepared to tag you
witsd
I saw him in X-files last night. I may have made a "squee" noise. Apparently he was in it three times...
MossfromIT
And the movie.
witsd
That was number three ;)
IMakeUpRandomFacts
Am I the only one on Imgur that isn't gay.
Kerryblue
Raises hand...(not gay)
carrickbender5150
Im straight, but not narrow minded. Does that help? I've been assured its ok that we are straight as long as we dont act like it. Lol
TheCryingOnTheInsideKind
Nope
ReYo
I'd say there's, like, four or five of you left. But it's OK, we're accepting of your lifestyle choices. ;-)
LetheTheArtificer
Got my first good chuckle of the night. Thank you. :)
measterl
I am a straight man, who is also a lesbian!
metallifuk
I'm straight and proud!
Spanxxx
Jan 25th, 2315: Dear Diary, I'm straight and nobody knows. I can't tell my family that I would rather have a baby naturally. I'm so alone.
Trumpcard814
Lol
mt77932
There should be a novel like that.
Huskaris
You don't get attention for saying you're straight!
[deleted]
[deleted]
PitbullsPublicist
straight people going around telling everyone hey are straight is like germans saying they are proud to be german.
LetheTheArtificer
Really sad state of affair for the Germans too. I don't blame the current gen for Nazis. :/
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
I think nearly every dad secretly hopes his daughter is a lesbian.
LetheTheArtificer
I was going to disagree at first (knee jerk),but then I thought about it... A chick can't get her pregnant accidentally at least.
EhhhWhatsUpDoc
I'm quick to agree with my daughter that boys are "stinky" and that we like girls better. So, yes. + boys really ARE stinky
moxymox
Secret? I have a Facebook page dedicated to it. She's not yet born.
MasterOfEntropy
Now THAT's dedication.
mountainofpuppies
they say that everything a guy does will come back to haunt him when he has a daughter of his own.
bringbakfirefly
"Cause dads secretly want to sleep with their daughters." - Freud
ladyzeiraphera
I dunno, mine said he would support us whatever, but being gay is hard, cuz people are shitty, and he wouldn't wish that on his kids.
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
Oh god did you ever see that movie where she tried to say that but messed it up. The cringe!! http://youtu.be/_82PrxpAQZo
tangybreath
I can definitely understand this. I can understand not wanting life to be difficult for your kids.
NotSoMuch
Unfortunately, you'd be amazed at how crappy some dads can be about it.
angryhedgehog
When I came out my dad said, "Good, Men are assholes."
plainoldfool
Dad checking in and my only hope is that I don't screw up my kids. I just want them to be happy, healthy, and grow up to be good people
GrateLordCheesus
That mentality alone will get you far!
alsotinybutdangerous
tell us a joke!
Caremono
Men are pigs. Sauce: I'm a man. Also father to a 17 yo daughter.
27yoUGLYvirgin
I don't understand what all this men hating is supposed to get you? I don't think I'm a pig and I don't think other men are either. Sure (1)
27yoUGLYvirgin
some are, but there are sluts and bitches, too. I do agree that there are probably more asshole men than women, but it's not that bad. (2)
jaegybomb
Preferably a lesbian until 25 and then straight. Her being happy obviously ultimately trumps either.
verger
Yep. This is it.
vanian
Lesbians cant get your teenage daughter pregnant
lostnortherner
My brother is seriously hoping his daughter will be gay, I think the thought of men looking at her in a sexual light makes his brain explode
TattooedWife
As a mom, I'm hoping my daughter is a lesbian.
humbugga
That's a weird comment.... hahaha
GentlemanWendigo
TIL that almost everyone's dad on imgur is a misandrist generalizing asshole. :)
MisanthropicAnthropoid
Nope. Just happy.
BastardOrphanSonOfAWhoreAndAScotsman
Wait, why? Or do I not want to know?
22Below
Some people seemingly have the strange notion that lesbian relationships are devoid of the issues straight ones have, which is very false
Aquapigeon
Rescue me explained this quite well
ICDarkly
Yes. My lesbians friends are going to show mu daughter their ways when she is of age.
riffcats
One time, my dad grounded me because I told him I wasent a lesbian and never would be.
riffcats
Nah. op has lady parts.
redshadow1000
true fact: OP's a dude
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
It's no secret with me.
BunToaster
My daughter isn't even two and my husband keeps telling her how awesome boobs are.
DZRose
I thought my stepmother hated that I dated women for the longest time. Then I found out when she tried to hook me she hated (1/2)
calldrdaley
That's a good stepmother
DZRose
the types I dated. She realized long before me that I had really bad taste. Her words, "Girl or boy, crazy is not allowed in my house."
Christx30
Very difficult for a lesbian teenager to accidentally get pregnant. Not saying it COULDN'T ever happen (you never know).
TachyonCode
I always thought this would make for an interesting plot for a TV show.
kyotra
I think the Japanese are working on this.
Christx30
To be administered by a squid or octopus. Or, really anything with tentacles.
alagrandelepusecuca
dad of a 8 year old beautiful princess. would prefer her dating a girl way prettier than her (almost impossible) than any men
calldrdaley
I love my daughter and think she's really pretty and all but... that comes off kinda creepy there bud.
alagrandelepusecuca
might be lost in translation, english not first language
22Below
I understand the thinking behind it, but queer women can be just as shitty as everyone else, including men
notablequotableupvotable
Yup... See Alex and Piper's relationship from Orange is the New Black
Kw33nKhaos
My dad told me every day "You're a lesbian". Didn't work. Boobs are nice, but I have my own. I like the trouser snake.
Yavin1v
i got a trouser snake right here, if you know what i mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
BrianStanley
http://imgur.com/iWI9hBz
Kw33nKhaos
I should clarify, I like my BOYFRIEND'S trouser snake.
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
You like the trouser snake that is in a relationship with your pocket taco at any particular moment*
Kw33nKhaos
Exactly!
UnspokenX
did you get like 60 messages just full of penises?
Kw33nKhaos
Haha thankfully I did not get any penis messages.
UnspokenX
I can change th.... yeah y'know what nah, I got nothin'.
ichhablafrenchiefrench
Agreed. I like boobs, but find vaginas to be quite disgusting. Blood comes out of them, I don't want to rub my face in one.
IceDusk
You're a female, right?
ichhablafrenchiefrench
I don't see why it matters, but yes. I tolerate my vagina, but other people's really gross me out.
playingwithportals
And the trouser snake likes you too
I69I
( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° ) Oʜ ʏᴇs ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇs ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )
CrocodileTears19
My dad told me he would be ok with it if I was a lesbian, but if he had a son he would not be cool with him being gay. I don't get it.
lostnortherner
It's all about them being uncomfortable with anal sex.
KazadAiMenu
He wants you to have a common interest. Also we know how mens think and like to imagine women are better, so there's that.
calldrdaley
wut?
ThatIsHowIFoundIt
Not that there is anything wrong with adopted kids!
sweetshart
good save?
ThatIsHowIFoundIt
DTOM827s nailed it, but I can add as a dad that a lesbian daughter can still make me a grand kid. Gay son will most likely have to adopt.
EulaliaSaxons
Neil Patrick Harris and his husband have biological children...
LetheTheArtificer
Because, utimately, this is the sort of divide that actual Feminist want to fight. I say this as a staunch hater of the Tumblr "Feminists".
LetheTheArtificer
What's worse, is there's a lot of justification the father can go through. Imo women are more accepted in this because people will 2/3
LetheTheArtificer
assume (incorrectly) it's just a phase or she's bi. The man is essentially gay forever. Overall sucks, but it's getting better as time goes.
SamuraiFoxes
Why?
dsurik
Guys know how bad guys are
flickerdart
Lesbians can't knock your daughter up.
Lemesplain
Pfft. Not with that attitude.
Left4Henke
Am I gonna be the guy? Jesus, okay: It's a popular notion that men "know" that men are pigs. So they wanna keep them away from the pigs. eh?
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
Not this at all. I've just never heard of a girl getting another girl pregnant.
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
Ok and to be honest a good bit of this too.
badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody
True dis - right here
koopaya
Yeah my oldest is a girl. She's only four but I think about this sometimes.
22Below
As someone who has dated men and women, lesbians definitely can be just as dickish to women as men can (but get what you're saying)
69tigers
But not all men ar... *ninja feminists from every corner of the earth surround me, one appears behind me and slowly slits my throat, "Nooo"
AHornyRhino
They were behind you all along.
ChaosLierLen637
Just waiting to peg him.
69tigers
*gurgling noises*
AnExplanation
Meanwhile, deep within the monastery, the oldest of the monks shed a single tear over the death of the 69 sacred tigers.
plainoldfool
People are pigs. If my daughter turns out to be a lesbian, I will be just as concerned about how a gf would treat her.
NotRick
lesbian breakups are scary shit
Left4Henke
I won't. Men are physically stronger than females. And a tiny bit less practiced in non-violent conflict resolution. My tiny dad brain cont
Left4Henke
would probably see dudes as larger threats to my daughters security than females.
Ganzkapoeri
I'll be the other guy (nasty) guy then. Because lesbians are hot.
kingj07
But... but... but the hypothetical hotness is half your daughter and only half a third party. Hm. Half is enough. I'm on board.
CodependantHumpDeBumps
Some are, yes. But there's also the Fred Flintstone subtype
badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody
Ye, but "Daughter"
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
He did say "nasty"
HereIsShit
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Protean2648
With a daughter you have to worry about every dick in the world; A son only one dick. Lesbian = 0 worried about 0 dicks.
SmashleyReznor
As a mom I hope mine is too.
Butters25
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how rapidly society has begun gay acceptance? Gays 15 years ago would die for this type of love
bobobano
I think we just accepted that they are men/women who merely share a common interest with women/men
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
It's not nearly as good as what you might think. But it is getting better.
Caremono
Baby boomers are dying, Gen X parent FTW!
aelazing
they still do
Butters25
Tragically yes, but at least progress is being made :)
Butters25
Literally dying with dreams of acceptance. I'm glad gays, especially some of my good friends, can be comfortable being open
underpantscharleston
It's insane. I'm in Ireland too, 15, 20 years ago Ireland was a completely different place.
YASSSSbitchYASSSS
12 years ago a friend DID die, hoping for this type of love from his parents. I hope that we can stop these kinds of stories from happening.
Reidsb
My parents sent me to a psychologist.
kreyll
:(
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
To try and rid you of the gay thoughts, or to help you talk to someone about it?
Reidsb
I think they thought it would 'unconfuse' me. He promptly told me that nothing was wrong with me. 1/2
Reidsb
I think after that he talked to them to help them come to terms with the future they imagined for their son being very different. 2/2
PretendThisIsACleverUsername
Errrr no, I had a very similar coming out 16 years ago
Butters25
Was extremely less common
PretendThisIsACleverUsername
I don't know, maybe in Spain is different, but I always felt accepted
Butters25
Yea Europe is generally five-ten years ahead of the United States in social issues. In the 90s especially there was an anti gay movement
ButIDidntDieThoughItWasAJoke
We didn't have gay acceptance in the 90's?
alsotinybutdangerous
not even in the 2000's. Ever watch i now pronounce you chuck and larry? for all that it clearly supports gay rights, it depicts them so 1/2
alsotinybutdangerous
one dimensionally, its almost detrimental.
AndSoAdInfinitum
Not to the degree that it exists now.
PublicClassMiloImplementsPerson
I don't know I think it's mainly an American thing. Here in Scandinavia I don't think it has changed much we've always been pretty accepting
ManagerOfScrantonBranch
Well yeah but the history of Tater peole in Norway is worth googling. We haven't been that accepting of people in history.
Bent0916
I prefer to think of it more as a rejection of homophobia. Gay acceptance is natural. Homophobia is the aberrant behavior.
Butters25
Very true
Threns
That was damned profound.
TachyonCode
This comment is better than the other comments. Makes the above statement more accurate.
pencilv3ster
Extremely well put
stackoverflo
Although I disagree with gays because I'm a Christian, I have NEVER, and will NEVER treat gays different or mean because of how they 1/?
stackoverflo
Choose to live their life. While I do believe it to be a sin in God's eyes, you know what else is a sin? Lying, cheating, stealing, and 2/?
stackoverflo
This from a Christian point of view. I don't intend on starting arguments, just pointing out what I believe. If you disagree, I will not 5/?
stackoverflo
Even having too much PRIDE is a sin. I have done all the things mentioned, and to God, no sin is greater than another, so who am I to 3/?
stackoverflo
Judge or belittle you, I just wanted to point out my belief. Have a good day, imgur! 6/6
stackoverflo
Judge a person on how they live their life, when I am just as guilty as them? God loves the SINNER, not the sin. I just wanted to say 4/?
TachyonCode
Rapid? Maybe in terms of *modern* societies, within the past 200 years... go back further and it wasn't always that uncommon.
kthisismynameprobably
I used to hear a lot about that in some of my high school classes because my high school was very liberal. I wish they'd (1/2)
kthisismynameprobably
given us some articles or something to read abouir. (2/2)
TachyonCode
They were probably worried they'd get in trouble with extremist conservative parents when their kids showed them the stuff (1/2)
TachyonCode
School is not really the best place to learn about that sort of thing. Especially not compared to, like, imgur or wikipedia, etc. (2/2)
NexiKuro
Mostly the old testaments fault I think, Christians (and to a lesser extent muslims) aggressively exporting their beliefs shaped the world.
KnightofRenown
Well actually, old testament is jewish too. Abrahamic religions and a dark age didn't help.
NexiKuro
2/2 Christianity/islam are the ones with the convert or die! attitude, Jews mostly wanted you to just die.
NexiKuro
True, but the jews have the benefit of being (at the time) a mostly hereditary religion, so it made no sense to spread it for them. 1/2
vfmikey
Dad joke is the best joke.
corneliusgansevoort
That's exactly what i say to every ladytype who tells me they're lesbian. We have SO much in common!
Hedon
As a dad learning dad jokes, it is not as easy as it sounds
Stadix
SWEkitsune
"Dad, I'm lesbian" "Hi lesbian, I'm dad"
captaincabbage
Brace yourself, Dad casually pointing out hotties is coming.
WindrunnerTheMovie
I'm just happy he finally learnt how to speak.
robothobo
It's not often that a Dad joke gets to be both kind of lame, and completely heartwarming.
cthoen
"just remember that my love for you trans-cends gender" - my dad after i came out as trans
Zaranthan
That's it, I'm getting back to work on my internet high five machine for this.
UnspokenX
I hope you clapped and yelled GOOD JAAHHB until he gave you a pizza.
carrickbender5150
As they usually are.....
TachyonCode
That dad is me. Not literally me, but in a proverbial sense.
LetsPlay2D
I laughed so loud at what he said, my neighbors must have heard that
TehAccountant
he had a chance and he too it
badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody
I'm gonna be that kinda Dad
Robvp
As someone who decided not to have kids, the only thing i regret is not being able to tell dad jokes and play pranks on them
HogwartsAlumnus
#teamdad
tanebou
"Dad I'm a lesbian, I don't like men." "Good for you I don't like them either." Epic Dad joke is epic.
TheSixthNumber
I wish my dad made dad jokes instead of loudly singing songs off-tune with the lyrics changed to crude bathroom humor words. :/
IFoundOutICanChangeMyUsernameSoNowYoullNeverKnowWhoIWas
If I ever become a dad, whenever my kids get upset at me I'll make a dad joke just to irritate them more. Eventually they'll laugh with me.
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
When mine were little and crying over something, I'd mess about (tickle them or something) and they would try their hardest to keep crying.
theManTheyCalledJayne
or mabye they'll stab you - that could also happen (although it's a lot less likely :P )
UpvoteNazi
I use this tactic with my girlfriend. 60% of the time it works all the time!
HotShower
"Look mom, they're laughing with me" - Gob
YaBoyAbeLincoln
*eventually* hahaha
Elven91
... dad jokes but he didn't get why I was showing him those... because he thinks his father is super funny!!!! It blew my mind 2/2
Raelag
a the son of a father who has done this, I can confirm it works. it eventually becomes funny.
ModusPonens
Looks like you've got this whole dad thing figured out
Tkeleth
If my kids fall down and get hurt (like, minor injury) I'm always just like 'come here and I'll help you up...' Works every time. :D
Elven91
I have a friend whose dad makes the lamest dad joke ever no stop, like he wrote the book of dad jokes! I showed him all the memes on the 1/2
Smajdalf
that's what dad jokes are for. They are so stupid that they are actually funny