thosewomenwereinthenip
248702
7098
135
Jan 26, 2014 5:59 PM
thosewomenwereinthenip
248702
7098
135
x9001
The alternatives are worse.
MycurlyhairsaysIcantgoouttoday
But...I wanna garden.
zildjianvibes
Can I have some tomato soup please?
reider10
And here I am just masterbating
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
i bet this is out of context but i dislike this type of over-simplification. yeah a lot of people have boring jobs, but there are these 1/2
TheGirlWithTheHummingbirdTattoo
2/2 things called food and rent and in this economy beggars can't be choosers.
spookydermot
Imgur needs more Dylan Moran!
DiscoStuuu
Fuck my impending real life
lodemai
+1 for Dylan Moran. Every time.
FestiveFerret
And a pickle!
fatinnkeeperworm
"Which...one of you bitches...wants to dance?"
BlizzardWave
Get some gardening. Then I can death.
Merryyrrem
Saw him live once. Absolutely hilarious and always drunk.
BecauseIamBatman
So Irish
MarshawnLynch
As someone who started their big boy job two weeks ago.....get. the. fuck. out. of. my. head.
schmooster
Hands everywhere
linkskywalker14
I feel like crying because this describes my life so god damned perfectly and I hate every minute of it but I can't make it stop.
letskatme
this is all of our lives, really. but what I love about Moran is that he can laugh about it, yknow?
iwantashortnameforonceohshit
how old are you? (I have no meaning-of-life-revelation or advice, I'm merely curious...sorry)
linkskywalker14
26
coffinnail
Work. Breed. Obey. Consume. Die.
youknowthatonepersonwiththeface
You forgot the bit about gardening
TheOneWhoWasLeft
It's more of a "gardening, Gardening, GARDENINGdeath"... gods, I love this bit. I love this man and this programme.
LadyDisdain
this is my absolute favorite bit of comedy ever. I cry from laughter and then existentialism when I watch his standup.
TheOneWhoWasLeft
"Cry from existentialism" might be my favourite expression of the month. So accurate.
Laurararose
Which is this? I've only seen "Like, totally"
TheOneWhoWasLeft
It's "What is it". "Like, totally" was also, like, totally awesome. (Not as good as the former, though, imo.)
jabbathebutt
It's from "what it is"!
letskatme
I'm not sure where this is from, but if you like him watch "Monster"
Laurararose
Will do, thank you friend :D
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
I am sick of responsibilities. And having to wear pants.
jabbathebutt
Flowers are just Gods way of showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"
LePhotographeEstMort
ketchup http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJJqxzJhlj8
sargasG
Thank you :)
HommeDeBois
Reminds me of the opening of Trainspotting. Fuck that movie was depressing.
borkdabasher
in all seriousness what he just describes is the death you should be afraid of most.
icangetyouatoebythreeoclockthisafternoonwithnailpolish
I quit my high paying desk occupying job because that is not what I want in life. I want my job to make me want to get out of bed everyday
TheKingAdornedInYellow
I want to help my parents and loved ones live an easier life. I do things I don't completely enjoy, but I'm happy none-the-less.
icangetyouatoebythreeoclockthisafternoonwithnailpolish
fair enough. Don't get me wrong, one day will come where I'm gunna have a kiss ass job to get money for my family, but not while I'm young!!
RambunctiousCrow
what do you do instead?
ghmp
By the username, I'd assume sitting on imgur all day
RambunctiousCrow
living the dream
icangetyouatoebythreeoclockthisafternoonwithnailpolish
Hahaha not far off. With the money I saved working in my old job, I am currently lapping up unemployment until a job comes along that 1/2
icangetyouatoebythreeoclockthisafternoonwithnailpolish
2/2 I would actually want to do. Maybe travel a bit, but I don't really have anyone to travel with. Just enjoying life right now, it's dope!
symphonyofnames
Great comedian, look him up everyone. Monty Python approved, as per their AMA on Reddit.
aschlaep
Why is this bad? If we are happy along the way, what's wrong with doing what is proclaimed normal by society?
aschlaep
It pisses me off when people get all high and mighty about this kind of crap to make themselves look like they are 'high minded' or above us
AlexImguram
A friend of mine met Dylan Moran once, they were delighted to find that he was as rude and as miserable as they'd hoped.
thosewomenwereinthenip
He's a very nice fella!
Talhoffersghost
I agree, Fr. Dougal! (nice username!) He was very gracious when he played in my hometown Cork.
OPTaylor
I so badly want him to be rude to me.
BecauseIamBatman
I find him incredibly sexy. I don't know why.. I just do.
oscarc
I call it the 'scruffy drunk depressed irish effect', It's power has yet to be understood.
Ourpetsheadsarefallingoff
Great name btw (BecauseIamBatman) I'm gonna use that as an excuse in my next argument lol
BecauseIamBatman
It's the answer to all the questions.
twinkieandnibbles
Yup!!! 10/10 would manically part hair to the side and stare
rumandbass
You can simplify life as much as you want. It's all we've got. Best to enjoy it instead of being a cynical asshole.
MAK47
dont let this be true, people.
Batonrougeisnotsobad
Don't think about it too much. It's not so bad.
TheChinamanIsNotTheIssue
Be homeless, people.
notmicrowavesafe
I can happily say this isn't the case for me and if I could make it happen so can you :D
brendanrhys
Really really really doesn't have to be.
stillcleaning
Sometimes that old saying, "you made your bed, now you must lay in it" is 100% true. Unless u have no honor of course.
v1sper
I'm not sure if this is me. I wake up, go to work, get home, eat dinner, play vidya, go to sleep. repeat, but +social on weekends sometimes.
snoyes
At 38, do I have to start gardening?
gr360ry
I'm 36 and I've began looking at buying one of those gardening contraptions that are small enough to have on the apt balcony.
plethora
You can have this life and still have many moments of happiness. Just saying - repetition doesn't necessarily mean a death of soul.
ajizzle
it is a hard reality and people running away from it doesn't make it disappear, not everyone can do whatever they want their entire life
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
Exactly! There are actually ways to enjoy life too, people.
hellafordays
Don't worry. I can't make anyone stay.
MisterWaller
It became real when he mentioned the toaster.
TadpoleHitler
Ya that part really popped out at me.
Katrin931
How weird is it that we all own this one appliance that only makes ONE THING?!
430pm
highly relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Ipa0r6OZI
TheSpontaneousToaster
You were saying?
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
I don't own a toaster.. I am immortal
philbagg
"ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT THING WHERE YOU PUT THE BREAD IN THE BOX AND BURN IT?!!" - Dylan Moran, legend.
spankytanks
I don't have a toaster right now. This is my life.
maharazi
Not shitting you, the first appliance I bought about 5 months ago was a toaster. I don't even like toast, but I thought I should have one.
psyker69
We recently got rid of our microwave - liberating.
MisterWaller
First things I bought were a toaster and a can opener.
ItsCalledARoyaleWithCheese
Some reason I read the first part as "I shit you not"....where is this magical place where people say "Not shitting you"
maharazi
Right... right here? I DO WHAT I LIKE OKAY. D: (But I say, 'Not shitting you.' as in 'Not gonna lie.' It made sense at the time?)
whyarntyouplayingmountandblade
I swear i bought a book off him the other day
thatwasntafart
small book of calm ?
SpaceFucker
tinybookofcalm,ijustneedthetinybookofcalm,doyouhaveit?
MCN16
+1 for being witty and also because it brought your points on this comment up to 69
CaptainSarcasmAwaaay
+1 to bring it up to 77, so he gets ate more.
WaitingToExplode
Was is black?
pullingsaiyantails
White books, something like that?
weganmerner
Oh Bernard
AcclaimNation
*burr nurd
Jesusberry
I don't get it :/ someone explain?
OPTaylor
He starred in a show called "Black Books" where he owns a bookshop.
Greedyb0gle
It's very good. And VERY weird...like, slapstick fart jokes to existential crisis in null seconds flat
SpaceFucker
One might go as far as to describe them as slapstick existential fart crises.
CornCobMcGee
Your explanation is incredibly accurate, yet doesn't give the show any justice.
mwppmarauders
I'm so sad they took it off Netflix streaming. I rewatched it at least once a month and laughed like a fool every time.
MairDeSade
Was it smelling like out of a wine filled book shop ?
Yongasoo
And smoke?
defweezy
Your life doesn't -have- to be like this.. take risks! Do something different! Find something you love doing :)
JustAHumanist
Go outside, take risks, die. Shit.
defweezy
In that order? And literally?
JustAHumanist
Considering that muscles relax after death? Most likely.
kunilingas
It scares me so much..
blitherypoop
It's not all that bad with hobbies/pets/booze/sex/etc for distraction.
secularink
Me too, but I've find occasional solace in sexual deprivation, heavy drinking and art.
notmicrowavesafe
Find a way to do what you love most and work at it. I got my degree and now am an engineer getting paid to break shit for a living and (1/2)
notmicrowavesafe
love my coworkers and am in full control of my life. It was tough, but if I could do it so can you.
Reenow
It has always scared me too and I don't know how to avoid it
jigsam
http://imgur.com/JszkoUr
ajizzle
don't avoid it embrace it, you make yourself happy not the things you do
Reenow
And how do you do that?
ajizzle
find things you like doing in your spare time or better yet find something in your job you like doing
kunilingas
we should get on a spiritual journey to india or shit...
Reenow
It can't be so bad if The Beatles did it ...
kunilingas
tobe in a band singing mantras or something, traveling through India's villages... that's kinda far from what wer'e afraid, what you think?
Reenow
Well, if we adopt Hindu beliefs, it might work out pretty well, don't you think?