Straya!

Dec 8, 2014 6:00 AM

DeadpoolDownUnder

Views

404767

Likes

8444

Dislikes

110

Haha no u cant fool me i know how timezones work

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Moved to Australia in 2007 and can't see how I'd ever regret it, unless I get eaten/poisoned/whatever, and even then it'd be a tough call.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Best description for that god-forsaken island I've come across: "Going to Australia is like walking into the tall grass without a pokemon"

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I was going to say Australia isn't that bad then my mom called me because my cat picked a fight with a snake.....yay Australia

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I will never be able to drink bought hot chocolate again....and yes...all these are accurate from an aussie

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

We've just had a whole bunch of Fuck You in Sydney

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

ive enjoyed it .... it kept the crazies away from my work

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Emus are a cross between bruce lee and s pidgeon

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I definitely thought the ocean foam on was going to turn out to be those spider eggs nests. I was cringing in anticipation. Disappointed.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

They don't have sex. The weird you're liking for is "ROOT"

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah, Naah... +1 for Root! STRAAAYAAAA!!!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wish it wasn't so hard to immigrate to Australia...

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Yeah I am Aussie and looked at our citizenship test and some of those questions are weird as fuck

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Any examples?

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What does Yeah-Nah mean?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As someone who has spent months of my time and a few thousand dollars on the paperwork, I can confirm that immigrating here is hard as fuck.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Depends. Are you white, educated and rich? But seriously there are ways, and we have a pretty good extended visa system.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

White, educated, poor as fuck. Yay college grad with tons of student loan debt...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you can find a job here, a company that is willing to "sponsor" you, you can stay for a good while. Then just fine an Aussie to marry :D

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Considering the only requirement used to be 'Are you a criminal from Ireland?'

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

"Who do I have to kill around here to get some Australian citizenship?", said the first ones, probably. Sounds kinda hard if you ask me.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Round the twist is thoroughly known UK side also

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

It came on saturday morning TV in the US for a year or two.. I watched every episode they aired and thoroughly enjoyed them.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As are Malteasers! Mmmm, Malteasers...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've seen it in the US. I only watched a couple episodes, but the damn song is still in my head.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I reckon I've commented with this link a fair few times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zj0QMqPgAY

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fellatio Whale takes no pleasure from his job.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Whale giving head one... I swear to god, how do people even see these things?

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

Did you actually find it? because I did not.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I did. It really does look like a whale giving head.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hooray, +1 for us! And moral victory for being alive in a land that keeps trying to kill us.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

I feel like the dog is fake...

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The dog is real, but it's one of those warped, LoTR-style rooms. The way they made Frodo look tiny next to Gandalf in the shooting.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That forest fire response is pretty much what texas would do.

11 years ago | Likes 171 Dislikes 3

Nah, we'd just pee on it.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And California too

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Also, the Interior of Alaska.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As a Texan, I've heard we have a lot in common with Australia.

11 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

I have a friend in Australia and we have decided its a bigger hotter version of texas

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

With more things that try to kill you. In Texas it's mostly just hicks with shotguns trying to kill you.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yeah except ya know, our entire continent is like that..

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was thinking the same thing

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Texas is to US as Australia is to the rest of the world. Or something like that.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have to point out tho...that python swallowed a johnson...

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sure Texans would just shoot at the fire to try and put it out.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

As a Texan, no. But we have blown a few up. Works pretty well actually.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Waterguns

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Can I visit Australia? As an American, should I bring my machine guns to protect myself and to help you fight emus?

11 years ago | Likes 177 Dislikes 7

American, here. Been to Australia when I was young and was not disappoint. It was winter, there, though, which was light jacket weather.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You should read the article, we studied it in school, machine guns didn't help.

11 years ago | Likes 95 Dislikes 0

Do you guys need freedom from emus? America can help with that.

11 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

Nah we have to wait for Australia to find oil.

11 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 1

We are your #1 source of uranium for your nukes, though

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Meh more uranium is obtainable in the us though we just let you deal with the hazardous side effects.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As another American who wants to go to Australia lets do this! http://imgur.com/ASpsqke

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

No guns. There's a reason we've only had one school shooting a long, long time ago.. Bring lots of flyspray though.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Drop bears should be your main concern

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Would you be interested in hearing the tales about someone who has had frequent run ins with these while hiking in the aussie wilderness?

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I could do a post, I have more than a few "close run ins" with everything from snakes to scrub bulls.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Do it!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do it but maybe no pictures of the spiders?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Pleeeeeeeeease!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And apparently don't drink hot chocolate

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Come visit. Leave the guns, we have our own.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I need an Australian man in my life

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Correct pronunciation is the key. Let me try to assist: "Oi need a straayaaan maen in moi loif". also... yeah, naah.. and STRAAYAAAAA!!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We have malt balls caled Whoppers (yes, penis and teticle jokes go here) in America. (Similar to Maltesers but, like everything, different).

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Just so you know: Steven Bradbury won gold metal after winning THREE races after the first second and third fell down, not just the final.

11 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

But only in the final race did they fall right at the end and he passed them all. In the previous one he came second and qualified.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Yep. But still, in the first one fell down and one was disqualified. In the second like two people fell down. Amazing.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Yep. He had the perfect amount of luck at just the right times to win the whole thing.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yes. Thanks to a famous tv show in Italy everybody knows about Steven <3

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

AND after coming back from a broken neck two years earlier

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah, the other side of the moon says he's got a pretty bad luck with his life before this... he almost deserves this

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks Steven.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.. SWEET JESUS THAT FIRST ONE....

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Always upvote 'Straya!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I always upvote an upvote for straya.... STRAAAYAAAAAA!!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

for the record, maltesers are just whoppers (aka malted milk balls) with a different name.

11 years ago | Likes 619 Dislikes 8

THANK YOU

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Gorilla Balls!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There different in some places. Like malt balls in the states are fucking gross

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No! Don't you spread your filthy lies! I tried the abominations you call whoppers while I was in the US; they are Malteasers unloved cousin.

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Just for the record, malted milk balls are merely a poor imitation of Maltesers.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Skipped the rest of the post just to find this explanation.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

ohhhhhh, THAT'S what whoppers are.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Whoppers taste nothing like maltesers! I hate whoppers but love maltesers!

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

We have Maltesers here! Soooo goood. But they are highly addictive and not very hunger satisfying :(

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You've just described chocolate perfectly.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm a bit sad now. I know the glory that is maltesers but can't have any unless I go abroad.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you live in the US, I've found Malteasers at World Market. I've never understood why people pitch fits that the US doesn't have them.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeeah.. I'm that other 50%

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hum, please, it's called maltesers everywhere on the planet.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And if they taste anything like OUR maltballs probably taste like freeze dried satan testicles.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Malteasers are better. The malted milk part is fluffier

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're called maltesers in Canada. Actually, I think we have both.

11 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

we do have both. Im also convinced they ARE different tasting

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We have Whoppers for sure, but I think we have both?

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

We have both. Can't say I'm a fan of either but I'm proud of Canada for having both.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Do you not have whoppers at Burger King?

11 years ago | Likes 141 Dislikes 2

candy whoppers

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

2 different items, same name.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lets go to Wendys! ...for burgers or for icecream? Which kind of Wendy's ??

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

*Hungry Jacks

11 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 2

Only western Australia understands

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

The burgers ARE better at Hungry Jacks.

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

.... What.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

So, it's Burger King. But with a different name?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They are most certainly not the same!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maltesers are better in my opinion and i was raised on whoppers

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

THEY TOTALLY DON'T TASTE THE SAME (Canadians have both)

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My country has both.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Whoppers taste like chocolate covered chalk.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The name trakky-dacks is completely logical. sweatpants=tracksuit pants. pants in aus=dacks (I'm australian)

11 years ago | Likes 461 Dislikes 1

I have an Australian friend that calls his sweats husk. Is he just fucking with me or is that a thing?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In England we call them trackies.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are you okay?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

See now, you say that, but first you need to explain how pants = dacks. Learn me a thing.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Possibly from Daks, a UK brand that were first to produce self-supporting trousers in the late 19th or early 20th century. Possibly.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I love how you guys are a quaint combination of adorable and badass.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

In England we call them trackies.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tracky-bottoms :3

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In the UK it's tracky bottoms.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I moved to the UK from Oz and everyone kept looking at me weird when I would talk about my pants. Apparently here 'pants' are undies..

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

nah, undies are undies or jocks, pants are dacks or strides.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

undies=underwear

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah but Americanisms become more and more popular... 10 years ago it was more of a thing but today people say pants/trousers interchangably

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sister visited UK. Asked what she was going to wear out to dinner. "Just some pants". Bertstare.jpg.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah, my Auntie laughed at me a lot. I learnt that one does not go to a wedding in his "pants".

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

nah, undies are undies or jocks, pants are dacks or strides.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

or duds

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not in the UK. Pants = underpants.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Care to explain where 'dacks' meaning pants came from?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I mean shit it's so obvious here what dacks are, but... for the life of me I can't tell you WHY that is. Hmm.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

From a brand name.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll fuckin dack ya mate.

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Probably a rhyming slang derived from slacks

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

apparantly a brand name, itself short for "Dad's Slacks" - http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/daks

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Exactly. Hence the saying "don't shit your dacks"

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I read it as tricky-dicks. But with, ya know, an Australian accent.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OK while I have you here, what's the FuckYou weather like?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What we have in qld the last week, fucking freezing and literally an hour later sweating your ass off.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sort of what we have had in sydney the last few weeks...over 40 degrees and over a week of huge thunderstorms.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

That's 104°F for other confused Americans.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So like early on in a Kuwaiti summer. Cool.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah probably. But its going to get worse...so much worse. Summer only just started. January and February are the worst.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

not bad unless it's summer then its like 87 f average.but when its REALLY HOT it gets to like 107 f

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"f". Are you sure your aussie?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I converted it for all you imperial using wierdos

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't use imperial, I'm a proper aussie. I use Celsius like a normal person, and damn the Amerifats.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So what's the deal with what you guys call 'thongs'. Those aren't thongs...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So am I buddy, nothing compares to flipping into a warm pair of tracky dacks on a cold winter night...

11 years ago | Likes 92 Dislikes 0

On a cold FuckYou night

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nah, yeah...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm sitting here in mine, reading this, and all I can think about is the way that feels in my mouth. Tracky dacks. Dacks of the track...y...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It feels good right?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Flipping into?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Cold meaning 10 degrees or so...

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

15 degrees mate. Where are you from, Melbourne?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Queensland, I live in Canada now :/

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fun fact: If you want to greet an Australian in an Aussie accent say "scarnon".

11 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 1

"Scarn on mate?"

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

haha inaccurate but funny haha (Australian)

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

wait why i dont get what that is supposed to even mean or be or

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was thinking maybe "what's going on?" but honestly I have no idea.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's right. "scarnon mite" sounds just like many people here, and if a stranger said that to me on the street, I'd probably respond.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

'S = what's, carn = going, on = ...on... It's a bit more like scaranon, but yep... Only in the country though. Wouldn't work in Melbourne.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Cuz Melbourne think that anywhere that isn't "Melbourne" is "country"

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Coz it is. Lol. Except perhaps Sydney.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

'Airyagarn' works too

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

sounds like carl baron!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Would yu care for an orange juice?" "If it needed me" OH FEE FEEEEEEE!!!!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Like "scar non"?

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

yup.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, maybe more like s'carn on?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's just one word

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Most of the Australian vocabulary roll into just one word.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It is supposed like you are saying 'whats going on'

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Ohh, that makes sense!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

or hows gon? and the main responses are "yeah, not bad" or "not too bad" or "yeah cant complain" almost never "good"

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"Yeah, na" means no and "Na, yeah" means yes.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I said this out load and died laughing hahah I don't think many realized your genius here

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Nah, Yeah accidental olympian FTW

11 years ago | Likes 110 Dislikes 1

HIS FACE

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Last man standing, first across the finish line, fair and square, he deserved that medal.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah nah Roy and HG were fucking beauties on that one.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

We call that a Bradbury because his name is Steven Bradbury

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But it wasn't just the final. Wasn't it, like, three consecutive races? And he only got to the Olympics on a wildcard as well. #inspiring

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Yes! I watched those races, first time watching speed skating. Became convinced I could be an olympian because I would definitely be in last

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup. One my profs was from Melbourne and he had us watch, it happened in at least 2 consecutive races.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yes – but there was at least one race, where half of the track were disqualified for false starts – so he basicaly just had to finish.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Win by simple virtue of not failing.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've seen this race, the American fell first.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey, it's a valid (and gold medal-winning) tactic: focus on not falling down. Everyone else tried to go fast and lost.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

+1

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Hilarious

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sea Foam is actually the washed up sperm of whales.... those kids....

11 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 9

I would suggest that it is actually coral sperm

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Coral spawns - day 1 is slick and a bit foamy with bubbles but as it breaks down it ends up very foamy

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd love to see the sources for that fact...

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

So algae semen then?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sooo....not whale sperm.

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

Yet still dangerous sometimes

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Had a whale of a time?

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Quite a tale they had when they got home

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Though nine months later, when the little girl gave birth to a hybrid whale/human....

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

malteares are like whoopers, though I've heard they taste better which isnt saying much as whoopers are awefull

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 3

Malteasers are fucking awesome!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As an immigrant, they are the exact same thing. inb4 hate

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone who knows what Malteasers are: What the fuck are whoopers?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

like I've heard theyre a shitty version of malteasers http://sweets.seriouseats.com/images/2011/10/20111021-candy-a-day-whoppers.jpg

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Whoppers. Malted milk balls

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Malteasers are actually godlike.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I agree! They're the best!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

till i try them I have really no opinion on them just whoopers.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We have Maltesers here! Soooo goood. But they are highly addictive and not very hunger satisfying. You finish the thing without realizing :(

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I can send you some of you want. They're divine!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh dear Jesus that first one....

11 years ago | Likes 1435 Dislikes 5

I almost threw up all over my bed when I read that

11 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Ive read it like 15 times and every single time i shudder

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you're not making me scroll all the way back up there are ya mate?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

10/10 had to scroll back to see what it was.... Then shivered in horror a second time.

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Every orifice on my just clenched so hard i could break bricks.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Nope. Nope nope nope!

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I'd probably die right there.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

After reading that I skipped the rest and came to the comments section for support.

11 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

We're here with you, brother. We're all here.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Thanks. I needed it. And I want to feel comfortable drinking my coffee now.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That actually made me scream. In public.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I WAS EATING! I almost vomited, my god!

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Yeah, I actually like spiders and that grossed me the f out.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm coming to accept spiderbros in my life, but that caused me to scream internally for at least a minute straight. No. NO NO NO.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It almost made me spit my gum out. Then I nearly puked. Fun times.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And this is why I'm moving to New Zealand. I can't even read that again.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You know when you read something and get that weird feeling in your head like.. this is going to change me forever. Damn that first one.

11 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 0

This happened to me when I first encountered mould inside a carton of juice. Always drink it from a clear glass now. Ugh ugh ugh

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I just threw up in my mouth a little

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yeah... from now on, whenever I have a milkshake and it's a bit harder than usual, I will think of this and look into the straw.

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

One time I woke up to a huge huntsman just chilling ON MY FACE. Straya.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I didn't realize Australians drank hot chocolate.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

why would you want to get hot chocolate in australia anyway

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That is the only species of slider I'm afraid of......a part of me died at that horrific nightmare

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why the fucking hell would you open it?!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have been reading so long I had to scroll back to re-read it

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I thought I was going to be mold, I would prefer to find any kind of spider over mold in my hot chocolate

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Right? I cried. Ughhhhhh

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am now going to have nightmares and not be able to drink anything out of a cup with a lid for a while due to the horror.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Once I was walking through a doorway and a huntsman jumped on my shoulder like a horrific leggy parrot and fuck my tits off it was awful.

11 years ago | Likes 446 Dislikes 1

What a wonderful phase! "Fuck my tits off"

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

We'd have to look at your tits first before we take on that assignment

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

As a person who uses several unconventional tits-related phrases, +1

11 years ago | Likes 199 Dislikes 0

*uncomfortable

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

*unconventional

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That was rather graphic.

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

I had to stop for a breather at "horrific leggy parrot" but then you hit me twice with "fuck my tits off".

11 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 0

The annoying thing about huntsmans is they don't have webs, so they wander around lots. They even hitch rides by falling on moving objects

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Fuck all that

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I voulunteer as tribute!

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I volunteer as a backup

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Found a pretty big huntsman in my kitchen here in Thailand. Whacked it with a broom and it walked away.

11 years ago | Likes 85 Dislikes 0

Not even ran, just strolled the fuck away like you weren't even worth the trouble of biting?

11 years ago | Likes 70 Dislikes 0

well he could see on its health bar that it had only taken like 5% dmg from the broom hit, he couldn't win that fight.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

"Geez mate, the broom again? I don't have the nerve for this today. I'm leaving. Call me when you've calmed your tits."

11 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

I'm more worried about the fact that it walked away AFTER being whacked with a broom.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

well he could see on its health bar that it had only taken like 5% dmg from the broom hit, he couldn't win that fight.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

One time I woke up to a huge huntsman just chilling ON MY FACE. Straya.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I'll have a non-nope double nope noppuccino with whipped nope on top!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They should really just rename Australia South Murderburg.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I seriously feel sick to my stomach. I can't stop imaging a "weird long furry thing" in my mouth!! Aaah!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thinking back, I probably could have phrased this better...

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I had a huntsman living in my house for the past year. My boyfriend killed him last night and I cried like a baby. RIP Hunter.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#1

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I visited my aunts dad once and there was a huntsman bashed a container next to it just in case didn't move look away FUCKER IS ON MY BOOT

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't even believe that one a little bit. I don't care how 'OMG AUSTRERLIERR' you get about big spiders; it's not gonna be just (1/2)

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

hanging out in the inside of a hot chocolate lid after being dunked in fresh hot chocolate several times as the person tried to drink. (2/2)

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

I'm sorry to do this, but here. Know the horror... http://www.arachnoboards.com/ab/attachment.php?attachmentid=128901&d=1407256910

11 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

That's not even a particularly large one. They can be about 30cm.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

all my nopes

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Are they venomous? That guy seems unconcerned.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 0

upvote ein!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

See you space cowboy!

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

What horror? I have two in me bedroom. They eat insects.

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

Yeah, the thing that stuck with me in that story was feeling bad for the poor boiled spider.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ditto. Mine is Sir Frank. He also eats the little spiders for me.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I would rather insects. They cant kill people... Or maybe they can in Australia.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Huntsman spiders, while gigantic and hideous, are actually non-venomous to humans. Still, I wouldn't want one falling on me in my sleep.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I WOULDN'T WANT ONE FALLING ON ME AT ALL THANK YOU VERY MUCH

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I knew what the link was. Why did I click!

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dear goddess why? ;_;

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Quit being a fucking pussy mate. It's just a huntsman.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's actually kind of cute.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Too right

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I hope they didn't hurt it...spider legs are fragile!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Is it worth the risky click?

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

NOPE

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's a close up of a huntsman in someone's hand. The gif of the guy trying to catch one on the ceiling is worse, IMO.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

What do we say to today's risky click? "Not today."

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

this is not today's risky click.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry but to the person pouring the hot chocolate.....how do you miss that?

11 years ago | Likes 172 Dislikes 1

It was under the lid.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The annoying thing about huntsmans is they don't have webs, so they wander around lots. They even hitch rides by falling on moving objects

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Mightve been a hit chocolate machine

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Huntsman Spiders are remarkably stealthy and like to hide everywhere. Luckily, they are harmless besides the fear effect. >>

11 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

Then again, people have crashed their cars after a Huntsman fell into their laps while driving...

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

They were fending off a bigger spider

11 years ago | Likes 167 Dislikes 1

DAMMIT AUSTRALIA

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A typical day in Australia. Serving customers while keeping the human-sized terror spiders at bay.

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

TIL Australia is Lordran.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Maybe if you hate your customers?

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

So if you work in retail, is what you're saying?

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Okay, let me rephrase: Maybe if you hate your customers and aren't afraid to let them know?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

"Fine DON'T tip me."

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

There's no tipping here m80

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've never realized you could type m80. thanks

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Likely it was under the lid. I don't check under my lids before I snap them on the cup. I might start though.

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Are the lids not stacked? I have trouble imagining someone would pick up a lid and not notice a heavy foot-long spider.

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

If it's the last one in the stack then it could be under there. Spiders aren't heavy.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

spiders can squeeze into really tiny spaces.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Have you ever seen a Giant Huntsman Spider? I can't imagine one being able to hide inside a stack of lids.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0