Aumnile
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Positive Twitter Dump
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Me_irl
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BrumpoTungus
#4 am I being detained, officer?
LieutenantGordon
Angelbabysdaddy
No ring on her finger, prepping food and drinking a Cline wine. Best buddy at her side. Is your mom available? I think I'm in love.
alivicwil
Upvoting for #41 alone!
breakingcode
#41 Twist, he only has two grandkids and they keep dropping out.
PierceInverarity
+1 for some I haven't seen before!
sgtwombatstudios
I've never seen the school letter to the autistic kid. I'd like to think the first bullet point is "fill in the blank"
theslybanananana
Just the kinda dump I needed right now, thanks @OP
MojoJojosDojo
#10 RIP to our fallen soldier. Another victim of the friend zone.
Silentbunny
I dont know, she is over easy tits, he might get some anyway
ABCDEFGevolved
That dog picture is my all-time favorite. Oh my god, is this for me? You love me? And you love me? And you love me? And you love me?
Shineupordown
Ok,Jeffrey sneaked out for more than a hug..check twitter girls nickname
reckuning
We need more of this!
mancbancwanc
That empty first bullet point on the letter to the autistic kid. Trolling at its finest.
snarkymonkey
Also 2nd last bullet point-"you" instead of "your." Maybe the teacher is also autistic, who knows
DeadHamster
Am I the only one who found that letter hella patronising rather than endearing?
tpgreyknight
I think that's just "teachers who don't know how to computer"
Maraak
#1 that parade WAS for him cuz he's a GOOD BOY and don't you dare say otherwise!
tpgreyknight
He is the BEST BOY
MettalViking
MyNameIsMudd420
I hope no one clams those socks...
ZeeX10
Owl: "AM I BEING DETAINED?! AM I FREE TO GO?! STOP IMPEDING MY TRAVEL!!! I DO NOT CONSENT!!!"
witsd
I did some work last year in a care home, and met a stray cat who had moved in and learned to use the lift. Spent all day going from one…
AllTheWittyNamesWereTaken
Maybe for the cat it was like "going to work" =^_^=.
MechanixisbetterthanFourHorsemen
"Mondays. Am I right, Gary?"
songbirdsweetandsourjane
The nursing home my mom was in had the same, and the cat would always know when someone would soon pass away and wouldnt leave their side
jitneyk
I hope the other patients didn't pick up on it...
mizmoose
My cat knew I was extremely ill before I did, wouldn't leave me. Got back from 3 wks in hospital, cat didn't leave my side for months.
dromgkittay
I've heard this before! They seem to know.
DrKriegersClone
Like in a nice way, or a waiting to eat their faces way?
ancyker
nice try, that's from house
sabitsuki
i believe the version from house was actually based on oscar the therapy cat!
TK421isAFK
And it was a Reader's Digest story 30 years before that.
witsd
…old lady to another getting pets and treats.
marquettegoldeneagles
It really really is!
ZOMGNO
How obese was the cat, or if not fat yet, how close to being obese was said cat.
witsd
Actually not too bad. He had a lot of adventure towers and similar bought for him to keep him active!
MethelyneBlue
That's adorable!!
JAMUNDERMYSHIFT
BackRiverGhost
I initially read that as pets and threats.
Choc113
"No treat today Mabel?..Well I am going to let it slide..THIS time..Its two tomorrow OK. Wouldn't want you to trip down the stairs would we"
jgardner3611
#36 I don't believe for a second that your child did that. Perfectly covered no paint on the fur? Don't lie to me women
YouSuckBigTime
The food in #25 looks amazing
LMeire
#32 Wild marshmallows are actually from Egypt, they grow in the floodplains along the Nile, hence "MARSHmallows".
TracyAllenParks
#32 that is actually Iceland and they call the colorful sacks of feed, "marshmallows" because they look like marshmallows.
kwagenknight
Youre fun
aravinglunatic
Poor Jeff. He just tryna smash
YankeiDuddle
I'll be honest, I read #5's "your artistic talents" as "your autistic talents"
blueriverjones
Well now I'm feeling great
superanth
What impresses me the most about nail polish dog? There wasn't a single drop on his fur.
slapmychipsup
Yeah that's some impressive control from a child
cardito
That's because those are caps you put on the nails, we use the same ones on our cats. You have to like super glue them on.
wellwellwelllookwhoscomecrawlingback
That doesn't sound worse at all!
MintMine99
+1 for Google search, "pet wolf worse case scenario"
barfopedia
#2 Am I being detained?
HappyColdCut
#10 I think Jeffery was hoping for a little more than a hug
ExplainThisJoke
considering the hearts by his name on the contact, I think SHE wanted more than a hug
MinMaxGod
#ForeverFriendZone
Iwannaseeit
Mrwubbles
Would date?
wittiw
awww yiss
happyBears
Is that kid dabbing on his dad in #15?
MackTea
I thought he was crying and I got all feel-y and now I feel dumb.
kornykush
Well, if ever anyone deserved a dab its that little guy
Efreeti
Dabbing "on"?
TheArtFriend
Dab on 'em
Unquote
This is what happens when your dad is not around to slap the bullshit out of you.
Istealfromthefrontpage
I think so and it hurts to see
Disgracefully
I dont see why, he sees his dad and He's happy, to kids this gen they follow trends and this is the newest and most popular one. Did you
Disgracefully
Never follow dumb trends as a kid, imo I can't see the hate for this kinda stuff cause to them its fun, yall need to loosen up a bit.
Refmylife
It's the parent's fault really. You should teach your kids not to dab just as you teach them not to do drugs or rape.
Disgracefully
I really hope you're fucking with me rn
Disgracefully
Which is kinda ironic
Istealfromthefrontpage
Regardless it's still hard to look at but parents do deal with things for their kids. My little brother is a brony... makes my dad watch
myranos
Yep, and I swear that's a picture of Tom Hanks and not his dad in a military outfit next to him.
UNHhhh
CanonInTheStreetsFanonInTheSheets
RangerMckay
You, I like you.
OmegaBIades
IsThatAJoJoReference
"Yare Yare Daze..."
Lilshadow48
That phone case is a terrible idea. Overheating galore
plutus34
#37 - I'd be fuming if I received a note like that in my car.
LionOfRome
what a fucking entitled little note
tpgreyknight
Maybe you'd calm down if you had a break.
TrafficLight
But there's nothing left to break
ZombiePirateLeChuck
Somebody save Jeffrey from the friend zone!
Agialabradore
He's going to just "hug" @overeasytits?
digitalutopia
He's gone too far in, there's no chance for him now!
customcartoons
You just don't get it, Nicky.
PureIntentions
I was just gonna say poor guy :(
thegriffin88
I was about to say.
ashmenon
Too late. The way he replies texts, he's already given up.
ikindafail
The story was he liked her but she was dating a guy, and by the time she was single, he'd moved on. They're still best friends.
GundamCustoms
I've seen that post so many times and every time I feel worse for the poor bastard.
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
Maybe it was a mouth hug. For his penis.
AtlasMorrow
Jeffrey isn't there for a hug
carefulwithmeIMbroken
Jeffrey definitely had some blue balls post-hug
NotTodayNotYesterday
No. You are not going to ruin this post, you cheeto dust snorting cum bucket. Not today, Nice Guy. Not today.
SpeedyCheese
He's cute and willing to travel for hugs. If that person doesn't realize he's a catch someone will. (He's got 2 hearts by his name though!)
PornhubsFirstTree
He's deeper than the Titanic
somewhatcreative
Not inside her though.
Summersky
For everyone worried about the kid:
she's the one that wouldn't mind dating him. He wants to be friends.
leroyxboy
Y'all know Jeffrey tryna smash
pab61
Too late and by the look on his face he knows it.
FullMoonCrazies
There were two hearts by his contact name, so maybe he's on his way!
FullMetalBitch
I like your name
Wookieoo7
Yeah, my entire thought is Jeffery wants to have sex with her
KansasComrade
Good thinking, detective!
SivoServoDommyDervo
It only took a 2am post and an attractive girl!
fuck123456789
maybe he's happy just having a friend?
SivoServoDommyDervo
Definitely could be. It just seemed a little strange as is all, but who am I to talk.
xVancha
Yeah, not if he's travelling to their house at 2am to give them hugs.
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
He's doing better than me.
arcturanmegafreighter
I mean, knowing how awake teenagers are at 2 am, if she lived closeish, not a huge sacrifice for a friend in legitimate need. Go Jeffrey go!
crazymojomonkey
I wonder if his friend would return the favor?
deliciousMulansauce
"Sorry! I was asleep :("
CasualWaterboarding
Jeffrey definitely showed up at 2am for more than a hug.
LiarLiarPantsForHire
thesplashingblumpkins
http://jessicarabbid.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/tumblr_mohnwi45iM1s6wnl8o1_400.gif
Essseff
The Ol' hug-n-tug
warlord007
It's too late. He was zoned the instant he answered.
BeezleHorn
He showed up for more than a hug, but alas, twas only a hug and a closed door in his face which he received
warlord007
It's too late. He was zoned the instant he answered.
1creamybaby
Maybe not. I would do more than that for a hug, but no one would ever ask me that, because no one likes my hugs
itsamazing
I want a hug
1creamybaby
Maybe its because I want it too much. Or maybe its because I only hug from behind. Who knows. It will forever be a mystery
JToTheROCNahImSayin
OriginaIPoster
Your comment made me cry
Summersky
I NEED A HUG CREAMY BABY
1creamybaby
giphy.com/embed/xXY6e9pYQRoIw Come to me.
1creamybaby
http://imgur.com/bwwCz9q