TheBloodyLady
135178
2090
94
Sep 4, 2018 11:49 AM
TheBloodyLady
135178
2090
94
itxtalone
He dm can all so not take your shit and say nothing happens, because it's a door.
punknoodles0
Best. Laugh. Ever.
ImProbablyReallyHighRightNow
I had a barbarian who took so much permanent stat damage to intelligence he forgot how to communicate with other sentient beings
sherlurker221B
Natural state.
DontEatThatTaco
'nat 20' should mean jack squat for a skill check. 20 (or 18-20, etc) only mean critical hits in combat. 20 just means '20 + skill mod'
DontEatThatTaco
and should not mean success (or failure if roll 1) by default. If it does, it's a bad DM, a bad campaign, and I'm out of there (if I still
DontEatThatTaco
played, which I don't, because of junk like this)
goodpie2
LOL SO RANDUM!!!
inb4thewar
People need to ditch the "nat20 is an autosuccess" mindset. If everything has a minimum 5% success rate, players are gonna try dumb shit
Revicus
It does basically give everyone godlike power as long as they can try roughly twenty times.
Sheepyhead
It also creates this kinda lolrandumb xD playstyle which is gonna hurt when you start playing with actual people
EvillBob
You want rock falls, everyone dies? Cause that's how you get rock falls, everyone dies.
Lilly64
I killed a bard once by making a minor NPC a succubus so she ate his soul after. My players stopped seducing everyone after that.
motorwaffle
Good. That shit gets old fast and takes way too much time.
RandomActOfConfusion
Thank you for the inspiration!
myweaknessisstrong
The dice are not god, the DM is. Seduce a door in my campaign and prepare for dick splinters or an angry door-father looking for the /1
myweaknessisstrong
Monster that seduced his under aged door-child. And then you get thrown in jail for breaking and entering. /2
DorkJedi
I am perpetually amazed at the number of DM's that do not understand the word "no".
AliasPR
Unrelated to anything, but no one has pointed out that the dm's pic is of chuggaconroy
edwardelricsnipples
Does nobody on this site ever know that criticals don't apply to skill checks
Gregadactyl
"Cool, good job, you seduced the door. It finds you extremely attractive, but unfortunately as an inanimate object it cannot act on it."
Gregadactyl
"The kobold assassin that snuck up on you while you were spouting poems to wood is VERY animate though. Take 20 damage and roll Init."
FerrisArgyle13
This happened to me a few years back. I proceeded to name him Matt and then stuck him in a portable hole. He was Matt the door.
Fablandie
I literally have no idea what this sentence means nor many of the words in it
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratcher
"Ok, you seduce the door. It gets harder and swells and wedges in the jamb.". Your move, wise guy. =D
javer80
Outstanding play
landofbob
You, my friend, would be/are and excellent DM.
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratcher
Actually thinking about trying it out. Been doing lots of reading and have some people I think I can drag in to play.
justbaka
What if the door is a girl
Metronix
It's probably a mimic
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratcher
Hmmm...the door opens but there's a grease spell trap that goes off. Also, the door has some class so only one can go in at a time.
BluesLight
Skill checks don't crit. I don't care if it is hilarious, you don't get to ruin the narrative goddamnit.
textilelover
In my games, if it's not impossible, skill checks crit. But it's impossible to seduce an inanimate object so this is absurd.
Lightningfan813
Fucking Bards
jocloud31
That's what they do, generally.
MagnificentBeast
I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy who says "Shenanigans."
flavivsaetivs
Recitation: First, weapon selection is critical. If I see one more idiot attacking a Jedi with a blaster pistol, then I'll kill them myself.
AxellTheDragon
PosthumousExile
Shenanigans
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
IUnderstoodThatReference.gif +1
Scurix
What's that restaurant you like with all the weird shit on the walls?
ChaosandChaos
Hooters?
renegadesurvivor
TgiFridays?
PervertedWizard
...... Shenanigans
Ryannihilation
If the DM lets it happen they should be laughing as well. you don't just get to do whatever the fuck you want 5% of the time.
Softcreamybeige
I had a warlock who took the invocation to detect magic at will. DM got a bit pissed when I started detecting every square inch of everythin
willunconditionallydownvoterepoststatistics
I'll be that guy. Skill checks don't crit. Seducing a door would be impossible unless it had some sentience. Which could be done with "Wish"
Sheepyhead
Just FYI everyone hates the person that tries to play like that :D
goodpie2
This isn't even a clever attempt at something impossible, it's just lulrandom 13 year old behavior.
Sheepyhead
Takes one to know one, right Pie
MrFancyPanzer
If I played D&D I would roll to seduce at every chance.
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
Our group had a Tiefling Bard that played that way. He contracted so many STD's
BoozeHound001
it's a great way to get a succubus after you, and you don't want that.
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
... or do you?
BoozeHound001
depending on the version it's either a hard battle with a few rounds unarmored and alone, you lose a level, or you straight up die.
BoozeHound001
BUT you do get a penis touch
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
And that makes all the difference
Zixtank
Why does the DM even allow the seduction of inanimate objects?
punknoodles0
Because
v
grinner
dm's fault for letting him roll for it
ShadowForever
My party once spent fifteen minutes explain chicken nuggets to a produce farmer
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
I like your party
acme64
lolwut
DancesWithHippos
Oh, door. You are made of such...hard wood. And hinges, let's not forget about the hinges...
StonesOnTheHill
Hey how you doin lil mama? lemme whisper in you key hole, Tell you sunthing that you might like to hear, You got a sexy ass handle and (1/2)
StonesOnTheHill
you planks look smooth, Mind if i touch em & see if they smooth? Na im jus playin' lets just say i can/ And im known to be a real nasty man
StonesOnTheHill
I mad the mistake of having door shaped mimics in a game once. So one player decided that a fear of doors was a charming (1/2)
StonesOnTheHill
character trait. It became his characters ONLY character trait. He drew that bit so far into the ground that mole people got sick of it(2/2)
MeteorD8
My idiot dwarven fighter became afraid of cloaks because a cloaker attacked him after he wore it
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
I had a character that got split personality. DM had me managing 3 different character sheets for this game, each with different [1/2]
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
[2/2] stats/skills/experience (even thought he was a different race), and I didn't get to choose when another personality manifested
Zathille
Aren't Nat 1s and Nat 20s only automatic failures and successes in to-hit rolls? Weird to always have 5% success chance even on huge DCs.
goodpie2
If it were actually even remotely funny, I'd tolerate the innacuracy. But this is just stupid.
magneticgumby
You're correct but many people homebrew DC checks the same way.Personally, depends on the level of insanity of what they're doing.
Revicus
Use Magic Device in D&D 3.5 locks you out of retries on a nat 1, but yeah, otherwise this is correct.
FiveShiftOne
Not even quite! If you have enough bonus to hit on a nat 1 you still hit. Critical failure/miss is a stupid houserule.
Revicus
That varies on edition. In third and, I believe, fourth, a natural 1 is an automatic miss per core rules. Not sure about 5th.
Revicus
But in editions prior to third, I'm pretty sure that is correct.
Revicus
For the 0.001% of people who care, I did just confirm nat 1s auto-miss in 5E. PHB page 197.
FiveShiftOne
Weird. I've always hated the rule, it really kills builds focused around maxing to-hit bonuses.
textilelover
If it's not impossible, a 20 nails it. Because it's a game, and it's fun. In my games, a 1 always blows it 'cause often that's even more fun
Revicus
Some people are okay with one in every 10 rolls utterly breaking reality, some aren't. It's just not a core rule, that's all.
Revicus
I should clarify I'm assuming "1s autofail, 20s autosucceed", but you only mentioned 20s (which would be 1 in 20).
textilelover
Everyone should play how is fun for them. I don't allow rolls for things that are impossible. (And I did mention that a 1 always blows it)
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
DM'ed a party yesterday that happened upon a dilapidated shack. The Goliath Barbarian decided to charge the door. Nat 1. "Apparently, [1/2]
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
Fellow usersub brethren, I'm so proud of you for getting a D&D post to FP. My day is made
DodderingCommandant97
PosthumousExile
Melted slightly in the oven so it always rolls a 20
CertifiedNinja
Its a looping GIF with only one roll.
JohnWickWithHisPencil
whoosh?
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
[2/3] the only part of this shack that isn't falling apart is the door and it's frame. Roll a dex saving throw" 3 "You rebound and land on
SillyZombie
if you are playing 5e then a natural one doesnt mean he fucked up. Only nat 1 and 20 is on attacks
SillyZombie
edit- he didnt cirtically fuck up that is.
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
If you wanna play by the official rules, that's fine. We don't. We homebrew quite a bit. As DM, that's my right, and the players agreed.
SillyZombie
As a DM you shouldnt kil your player for opening a door wrong.................
javer80
From Gygax: "It is the spirit of the game, not the letter of the rules, which is important." If one group thinks it's fun, they shall do it.
wabitgirl
When in doubt, make it up. Don't bring you rules mongering into their game!
tuwdburgaler1337
I know a welder that has been at it for 2+ decades and accidentally stuck the back of a welding rod up his nose and it arced (1)
tuwdburgaler1337
He was fine, but according to his coworker who witnessed it, his head glowed like a Jack-o-Lantern, so yea Nat 1's happen IRL
Talenheim
As a welder in training,
Tadaw22
D&D rule number one: DM is God
tuwdburgaler1337
But, its easier to get average people who aren't super nerdy to join the tables if they are fun and hilarious. Rule of cool
TheGuyThatDidThatThingWeAgreedToNeverSpeakOfAgain
Most players don't even know that critical rolls only apply to combat. Yeah, you roll a 20 to persuade a guard, but he took an oath to a god
SillyZombie
Ability checks cant allow the impossible to happen!
SillyZombie
A few weeks ago a player said IM ROLLING TO DO A (somethingsmoething) and just threw dice. Thats not how it works :P
tuwdburgaler1337
Not only have I house ruled that crits happen everywhere, but I stack crits yo see how ridiculous it truly is.
BlitzkriegFire
yeah but the fun part of dnd is the wild shit that happens. if the DM decides that’s how it works, that’s how it works.
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
[3/3] your battle ax strapped to your back for it's damage roll". Him being level 1, he lost consciousness and had to save to not die
TinyTaters
He could always barge the door down and have it collapse on him
CatOnTheRoof
Did he make the save?
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
He lived. The Bard had healing touch
sithney
the door won
z3lfmoord
You can “save” on a board game?
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
save = "Roll saving throws". in 5e, if you drop to 0 HP or lower, on your turn you roll a d20. 10+, success. 9-, fail. 3x fails, dead
z3lfmoord
Yikes
ChuckKarma
That'll teach him to quit axin' a fool.
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
noice
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Dude, a natural 1 or 20 only matters in combat. Skills are pass/fail. It's less confusing for your party and healthier for the campaign if>
Ignak
In my experience it's a lot more fun to count them in skills too :D
JustLettingPeopleBeWrong
Only in some systems. Skill crits are perfectly reasonable.
Xanpheon
But it's a lot more fun in my experience to have a nat 1 or 20 have something hilariously bad or hilariously good happen.
Zipfte
Not always. If you are running a more serious campaign it can ruin the mood for the other players if that one guy just acts stupid.
shortbuswastaken
Dude, rule 0.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Yes, and IAimToPlease already said it was a game all about shenanigans. Lots of new DMs however complain about games getting ridiculous>
Ristari
Fuck that noise. Crit fail or pass means something. I usually don't punish so hard but, you dislocating your shoulder or something.
FrellingFarbot
Never in the 100+ times I've played, has it ever been a mild and lame just pass and fail. 1 is critical fail and 20 is critical success.
Markamanic
If you roll a 1 at my table you will suffer. Like archers hitting their teammates.
0cularis
House rules dude. Plus it sounds more fun than what you are pushing.
TheAmazingArtificer
Yeah, agreed. Nat one crit fails feel terrible. Waiting 20 min per round for 'oopsie dropped your sword you and enemy got it' Nah, goodbye.
Zipfte
That’s just a bad dm. Usually I rule that if you crit fail a melee attack the enemy gets an attack of opportunity. Crit fail ranged /1
CISMaleScumLord
It's not as funny though.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Funny is good. For a serious campaign, unlike the one IAimToPlease is running by his own admission, it can derail the game, wasting an hour.
Zixtank
Depends. I do it situationally.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
printerinkistoomuch
He can DM how ever he wants.
ThiccGoblins
10 is in fact average
EvLPxL
I bet you're fun at parties...
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
We're a high-shenanigan party. More lols less seriousness. Every campaign, we make at least 2 backup character sheets beforehand. Its fun :D
OneCoolFrood
That's the official rules, but lots of tables house rule that nat 20/1 is always a critical success/fail.
TheRealFireFrenzy
Also its funnier, and the rule of funny should always be followed
ABrokeAssGamer
House rules are dope. I rolled a natural 20 to smash down for with my warhammer, the door flew off the hinges, going back to topple a gob
IAimToPleaseWhenIAimAtAll
We definitely run a slap-stick-style campaign. We're here for fun.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
This is true, but I feel there are many new DMs that complain about their parties doing ridiculous things and blaming the dice>
LeninIsGonnaCrushAllYourCapitalism
My house rule is that the more ones you roll in a single session, the worse things get.
Thorinori
Most books even say the rules are guidelines. Everything is up to the dm, it is their world, it runs their way
socratesboytoy
Yeah and truthfully you should only really have to roll for DC above your base stat. Why would a str 16 PC have to roll to bust a dc 5 door?
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Seriously, this. I was playing a monkey goblin and I said I wanted to climb the windows up one story to the roof and he made me roll for it.
Zipfte
Perhaps they trip whilst attempting to run through the door head on. They should still bust through the door but they might get a splinter
Camelspotting
That's why you can (and should) take 10.