Proof Thor Is A Dick

Jan 8, 2016 1:14 PM

SunTannedSuperman

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177817

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5106

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178

Just pee on the hammer. That'll teach him.

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

"Assgaurdians"

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It would have been funny if Stan Lee, during his cameo as the janitor, picked it up to clean under it like it was nothing.

10 years ago | Likes 115 Dislikes 6

Yeah I remember reading that tumblr post too

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Just destroy the legs of the table.the nutella would just slide out.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OwenFRThomas No not the Nutella!!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Noooo, Thor you dick! xD

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thor's Hammer on the toilet seat? Sounds like a great time for an upper decker.

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

half of these can be solved by poking a hole or moving the object

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But like, if you lift the toilet seat, are you really lifting the hammer?

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Shit man I want whatever you're having

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ewwwww ifunny

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#11 you know Deadpool can move the microwave out of the way and plug it in somewhere, right?

10 years ago | Likes 146 Dislikes 4

It wouldn't be the same!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope to logical he would just het upset And bitch about it... Then make pancakes

10 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

327,000 of them.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or a bomb...Fuck it why not both

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I am outraged. He crossed the line with Nutella.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Since you're not moving the hammer, couldn't you just pry the jar out?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is the one that made me laugh the hardest!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd just piss on the hammer

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#13 http://imgur.com/wjZC38m

10 years ago | Likes 223 Dislikes 0

sadly there is only one upvote I can give

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You son of a bitch, you beat me to it!

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Fun Fact: When filmed, Capt. Hammer's shadow telegraphed him coming back into frame. Removing it was one of the few digital effects used.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#3 was taken at chase field

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is #13 a real page from a comic?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Deadpool is worthy though.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Regarding the microwave one: it's wrong. Deadpool would be smart enough to just move the microwave oven

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Doesn't mean Thor is not a dick.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Evidently he'd just piss all over the microwave.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

While deadpool would be smart enough to do so, He's also deadpool, and would spend his time instead complaining to the fourth wall.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#11: deadpool could totally just move the appliances out from behind the hammer

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Batman can lift it because he is the most awesome of the lot except deadpool. You really underestimate deadpool.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

I.have a theory about the nutella one, if youre not actually lifting the hammer could you still pick up the nutella? 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like lift the nutella instead of the hammer, or even with the shield, could you lift it since your not actually touching the hammer? Idk2/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Im so bored, someone love me

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

#10 I hate when people put a space between the word and the exclamation mark.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

SAME HERE !

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#3 was at an Arizona Diamondbacks game!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Goldschmidt for president!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure why Cap America is so upset, he's one of the canonically worthy wielders of the hammer. He could move it.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Spider-Man is worthy as well.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In the comics, Deadpool actually lifted Thor's hammer and temporarily became Thor-pool

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Though that was Loki tricking him with a false hammer if I'm not wrong.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Man, seeing Thor's hammer on top of the toilet seat over and over again was just absolutely hilarious. I can hardly contain myself. So funny

10 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

Are you being sarcastic? I legitimately can't tell..

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was being very sarcastic. It was barely funny to begin with, and having so much of such a short post being dedicated to that "joke" 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Made it kinda dumb. 2/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty sure they can just lift the toilet lid, it doesn't count as them picking it up. The toilet is worthy

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Elevators not worthy

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Iunderstandthatreference.gif

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Iunderstandthatreference.gif

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#10 Please. Deadpool would have been HAPPY to piss all over it.

10 years ago | Likes 1110 Dislikes 5

or least pull an upper decker

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I was gonna say... Or at least in the top tank.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Piss all over Thor's hammer and leave a post-it saying "Eat a dick, Ass-gardian. -Love, Wade"

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Deadpool: "I peed on it, NOW IT'S MINE!"

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But even happier to be overly dramatic for comic effect.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I think Deadpool would have done more than just pee all over it

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I just pictured the word "self-pegging"... :(

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

pee on the microwave too

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

This was my first thought as well. He would either just use the sink or spray down the entire room.

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

I has to pee in the sink at a friends house once when I was young. I thought his mom was in the bathroom and he had to go after me. She (/2)

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Ended up walking by while he was doing it. Haha.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or since it's just pee, an upper-decker wouldn't be too bad

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And you're telling me he wouldn't just move the microwave to heat up a chimechanga, c'moooon.

10 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 3

Fuck moving the microwave he'd find a way to move the whole house like a foot to the right

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Plot Twist: That's the Toaster of Thor next to it.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Doesn't he not actually like chimechangas that much? I thought he just liked saying the word

10 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 1

He would microwave the chimechanga then rub it all over the hammer then piss on it, then go eat some pancakes

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Pretty much! Likes enchiladas much more!

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

But he fucking loves pancakes.

10 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

i would've shat on that thing if he did that to me.

10 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 1

Nasty dude. It's only funny if Deadpool does it. :(

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Deadpool needed to take a leak though and i was taking a dump

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i like when loki convinced deadpool to steal thors hammer and deadpool gained his powers, started flying around and talking like a douche

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I need to read this comic!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Although it's actually a trick by loki

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

isn't it always. though I hated that they just up and dropped that whole I am your father thread, after implying it was building to somewher

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Whatssssssss

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That last one tho.

10 years ago | Likes 385 Dislikes 15

Batman isn't bound by the petty rules of the Marvel Universe

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Yes, it is the last one. Glad you caught it.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 5

World's Greatest Detective can't recognize a hammer, or World's Richest Man's never seen one in his life?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Id like to think that batman isnt worthy, he can lift it because batman

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Batman looks like a chimp. Batchimp.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Batman GG

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

BATMAN FANBOYIN ERRY DAY

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

It's a hammer Batman... God. :/

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 226 Dislikes 3

BECAUSE IM BATMAN!!!

10 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

I am Groot!

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

My new phone background

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't think Batman would be worthy, he's dark. But Doctor Manhattan would.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Nah. Nobody in Watchmen could lift it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Doctor Manhattan, basically can do anything he wants. Including destroy the hammer.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There are people in Marvel who could too. But the hammer isn't about strength or power, it's about worthiness.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

WTF does that even mean?! Doctor Manhattan can bend almost anything in reality. He can bend space-time around the hamer and move it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

do you think he would be worthy? I feel (as much as I don't like him) superman would be able to not batman

10 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 6

In DC vs Marvel (the Amalgam books) Wonder Woman actually casually gives Thors hammer back to him

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

"Deep down clark is a good person, and deep down, im not" -Bats-

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Maybe if Batman knew how it's supposed to work he'd not be able to move Mjölnir? Simply because he might consider himself unworthy.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

doesn't matter if you think you are unworthy, it matters if the Hammer thinks you are

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Given how the "worthiness" works for Thor's hammer, I don't think Bruce could lift it.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Due to his strength or worthiness?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yes

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

17

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

That's not an answer to that question. Which one? : (

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Well, the hammer is magic, and magic is one of the very, very few things that Superman isn't immune to

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

If we're mixing DC/Marvel, I'd love to see John Constantine just casually swinging the hammer around. It feels appropriate.

10 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 0

Well to be fair it's not really mixing. In the DC universe, Thor is alive. As is all Norse mythology.

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

Well this is also true of stargate.. so teal'c with the hammer :)

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A lot of these would be solve did Steve just moved the hammer. He's worthy after all.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

I was just gonna say one time Cap returned that bastard to Thor. In the comics anyways.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

That was one of my favorite bits in Age of Ultron, Thor's face when Steve actually moved the hammer a bit. :)

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

In the comics Steve straight up wields the thing on a few occasions.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, there are a few people in the Marvel universe who are worthy to lift the hammer. Steve obviously being one of them. He's Lawful Good.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'd love to see him wield it against Thanos if the plot ever progresses to that point.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In a really random one shot, Steve's daughter is worthy while Thor's son is not.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I still say he didn't actually try. He just humoured them all, slowly pulled upward while pretending he was straining.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Probably. Then gives a sly little wink to Thor after he 'fails'. :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I agree. If he wasn't worthy it wouldn't have moved at all. Not sure how Civil War will end, but I'd like to see him wield it in the future.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0