I think I'll call this - "The Intentionally Dysfunctional Relationship Between the United States and Iran."  You see, NONE OF THIS B.S. is new. But it got me to thinking about my own history with Iran.

I actually started my military career at the age of 17 (Between my Jr. and Sr. years of high school) in the USAR as a Military Police Officer. The USN and USMC came along offering inter-service transfers to fill critical needs and since the Navy was offering advancement and bonuses, I jumped on it.

And thus, in 1986, I went to my SECOND Boot Camp - this time in San Diego, California, then to Boiler Technician A School in Great Lakes, Ill (why they didn't send me to boot in Great Lakes, I have no clue).

In early 1987 I completed BT Advanced Operator school in Great Lakes, was advanced to E-4 and joined the USS Hoel, DDG-13 in San Diego.

(Pic is actually from Basic, it is the only surviving image of me at that time)
Gods, the crap I'd tell this idiot........

Later in 1987 I departed San Diego for my first WesPac (West Pacific) deployment as part of Battlegroup Sierra with the USS Missouri as our flag. We met up with the USS Ranger Battlegroup and formed Battlegroup Echo. Which was, at the time, the largest single assemblage of US Warships since WWII.

Battle Group Echo, included the aircraft carrier Ranger, battleship Missouri, cruisers Long Beach, & Bunker Hill, destroyers Leftwich and Hoel, frigates Curts, Harold E. Holt, Robert E. Peary, Schofield and auxiliaries Shasta, Wichita, Kansas City, Hassayampa.

My Ship, the USS Hoel, DDG-13 is the lead ship in the far left column. The Missouri, Ranger, and Longbeach make up the central column.

This is the U.S.S. Hoel, DDG-13, my home for a little over 3 years. I left in 1989 and actually joined the Merchant Fleet for four years before an injury sidelined me permanently.
She was an older Guided Missile Destroyer. 7 years older than I was in fact. The Adams Class was the first purpose-built DDG in the U.S. Navy. All previous DDG were modifications of older destroyers.

My Captain was Commander Gary Bier. Captain Bier went on the attain the rank of Captain (Captain is both a rank and a title in the U.S. Navy - You can be THE Captain, but not be A Captain, conversely, you can be a Captain and not be THE Captain), and the title of Commodore as a destroyer squadron commander.

He is one of a very short list of men who, if he called me right now, the only question I'd ask is "Where and when, sir?"

The Hoel was a good ship, At 437 feet and a bit over 4,500 tons displacement, we were nearly 100 feet shorter and 4500 tons lighter than the more modern Arleigh Burke class DDGs that were, in 1987, still a year away from being launched.

We were faster than the Burkes (or the Spruance class DDGs, or the Olliver Hazard Perry class FFGs). We clocked 36 knots in one power run, but 34 was doable most any time. That made us the racehorse of the fleet and the only thing faster than us in BG Echo was the Ranger - it's amazing to watch something that large pull away from you at full tilt boogie.

We were also very, VERY heavily armed for our size. In fact, I'd argue that of the fleet, the only ship who packed more firepower - real, useful firepower - was the USS Missouri. (Not counting airwings of course). We were armed with 2 5" guns, SM-2 Missiles, Harpoon Cruise Missiles, ASROC, 6 MK-46 Torpedoes in deck launchers, PROBABLY with Nuclear ASROCs (though I can neither confirm or deny), and a host of small arms.

The only thing the USSR had that was scary was the Kirovs and MAYBE the Slava's. Anything else, afloate, bring it.

She was a good ship.

I was a boiler technician assigned to the forward fireroom. We made the ship go. If the Snipes don't groove, the ship don't move. My main jobs at this time were lead Burnerman in forward fire (which means I was responsible for starting and keeping the fires going in the boilers) and a firefighter on Repair 5.

(Picture is representative, that ain't me. That's a shot of the boiler front of the USS John F. Kennedy (CV 67 - It's ROOMY)

DD -973, the USS John Young. 1 of 2 Spruance Class destroyers in our task force.

For information about the Spru-Cans, I'll refer you to the Wikipedia page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spruance-class_destroyer

DD later DDG-984 (I think) USS Leftwich - the other Spru-Can in the task force.

You may notice that the Spruance ships don't look quite the same, that's because these ships became test beds for a wide variety of system. If you look in front of the bridge, there are three boxes. The two on the port and starboard sides are armored box launchers for Tomahawk cruise missiles, the middle box is an ASROC launcher if I remember correctly.

DDG-993 USS Kidd - The Kidd is an interesting ship. They were also known throughout the fleet as the Ayatollah Class. Why? Well....

From Wiki: The ship was ordered by the Shah of Iran, but was undelivered when the 1979 Iranian Revolution occurred. Subsequent to this, the U.S. Navy elected to commission the Kidd-class for service in the Persian Gulf and Mediterranean, as they were equipped with heavy-duty air conditioning and were also well suited to filtering sand and the results from NBC warfare.

There were four of these ships in the fleet. The U.S. Navy got a deal. All four ships were eventually sold to Taiwan where, apparently, they are still in service.

On October 17, just as the 6-midnight watch was ending, we received orders to transit the Strait of Hormuz, join up with the Leftwich, the Kidd, and the Young, and destroy the Ras Shadat Oil Platform Complex.

The Iranians had been using the decommissioned oil rigs as command and control platforms to launch small boat attacks and it was decided that this was the appropriate response.

What happened next was an orchestrated ballet. We performed a high speed UNREP, underway replenishment, taking on fuel, water, supplies, ammunition for the 5" guns. We ran two fuel lines, a high wire, and coordinate the BirdRep (Helicopters were dropping pallets of ammunition on our back deck).

It was an all-hands operation. I don't remember how long it took, but I personally handled over 500 rounds of 5" ammunition.

No one slept that night.

The next night, October 18 we transited the Strait of Hormuz and through the Silkworm envelope - essentially, the modern-day equivalent of passing under the enemy's guns.

Our Bosun Mates had rigged deceptive lighting - so, and I'm not kidding here... light fixtures in coffee cans strung on long extension cords that could be set about the ship to make us look like something other than a destroyer - apparently we rigged to look like a tanker.... What the hell are they shooting at??? Tankers.... rig us to look like a damned fishing boat please!

The next morning, as the sun came up, we were part of the task force that was stationed a few miles off the oil platforms.

This was the first time I ever went to General Quarters for combat.

The bosun whistle goes off over the 1MC and the message comes down the line: "General Quarters, General Quarters, all hands man your battle station. Set condition 1 throughout the ship." But it's the last four (edit: five... counting is hard)words that do it to me every time, "THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

The hair on the back of my neck still stands up thinking about that.

The Iranians were warned of the impending attack and ordered to evacuate. They were given 20 minutes.

Now, I'm cynical, always have been. I was showing another sailor how to properly align a main feed booster pump and saying something along the lines of "Yeah, like they're really going to do it..."

Well no sooner than I said that than the time ran out and our forward and after guns opened up.

The Hoel was firing shots in anger for the first time since the Vietnam War.

Our first salvo must have hit a fuel dump on one of the platforms. It exploded into a great fireball (We saw video afterwards, I'm still searching for a copy of that video). But naturally, not matter how much 5" you throw at a structure like an oil rig, you're NOT going to sink it.

After a few minutes, Capt. Bier broke formation and moved us closer so that he could target individual pylons on the righ (Capt. Bier was a mustang, he'd been a gunner's mater as an enlisted man and knew his guns). I don't remember how long we fired on the rigs. It was a while. Something between 15-45 minutes... too many years have passed.

Ras Shadat Oil Platform Burning

Ras Shadat Oil Platform Burning

Aftermath of the action. Both rigs were fucked up. Both rigs were burning.

Navy SEALS boarded them searched for intel, gathered what they could, and then set demo charges and blew these rigs to the waterline. As they were leaving they noticed more rigs being evacuated and decided to check them out. Reportedly, they gathered intel from those rigs, and since they'd used all their explosives on the first two targets, it's said they took fire axes (conveniently located on the rigs themselves) to expensive equipment.

The Hoel then re-transited the Straits of Hormuz and rejoined BG Echo in the North Arabian Sea.

What I most remember of that is finally seeing my rack after being up for 3 days with only very short cat-naps here and there.

There's a decent write up of the op on Wikipedia; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Nimble_Archer

I will say this, I was never scared. We had faith in our equipment - the Hoel wasn't going to let us down, and we had faith in each other. Yeah, we could be assholes to each other, but NOT when the shit was real. The men of the Hoel, and the men of the Leftwich, Kidd, and Roberts all were brothers in arms and we remain so to this day.

Afterwards we were rewarded with port of calls in Perth and in Brisbane, Australia (The carrier went to Sydney) - They were amazing ports, full of amazing people (especially a particular red-haired girl who I still speak with today). I feel so much pain for Australia right now it's not even funny.

So you see, this Iran bullshit? It's nothing new. It's been going on since I was a kid, and well before. But the truth is, EVERYONE needs to ask themselves WHY? Why is our relationship with Iran so damned toxic?

Well, today I'm a History Professor - I teach U.S. History and my specializations include military and political history - I have a particular interest in those times when we've betrayed our own self-interest in creating regimes that we eventually have to destroy. I call this the Frankenstein Effect and my PhD will be at least partially written on it.

In 2018, I wrote this in response to the ignorant and short-sighted dismantling of the Iranian Nuclear deal by the Trump Administration. Much of what is in here applies to this conversation today.

https://strollingthroughmymind.com/2018/05/09/fear-mongering-of-the-gop-and-iran/

Good luck everyone!

That's me today, older, fatter, balder, not much wiser - But a damned sight crankier and better able to cut through the B.S. that we are all subjected to today.

(Houston Holi 2019 - if you've never been to a Holi festival, go. It doesn't matter if you're Hindu or not (I'm not), the music is good, the dancing is good, you get to throw colored powders at people, and there's usually kick ass Indian food!)