whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
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thechelonianshelmet
#1 While there's not 14 billion, when you consider how much shit that's spewed by politicians, hatemongers & idiots it's an easy mistake :)
somethingnotyettaken
#8
?noredirect
trippintherift
Wins lettuce tournament. Next year, replaces with Brussels sprouts soaked in Carolina reaper blood
alltheLalz
#8 It can also be a cereal bowl if you've just given up on life.
meetingsaramarshall
I want to join the Lettuce Club! How does one join such a delightful organization? Anyone? Anyone?
Appollon
TheDogEnd
LaughingSeraphim
Peoole gave 0 shits about his depression until he died. When a dude says " I'm depressed", you here "I'm not a man."
PrawnSauce
my second middle name is named after Maximilian kolbe.
ElioNope
#1 14 billion. 'Cause everyone HAS an asshole, and everyone IS an asshole.
ThatNoPicklePeeThatNoPumpARum
#18 can we stop with the depression stuff on Robin William's? It wasn't depression.
penguin002
No it was Alzheimer's AND Depression as he like Jim Carrey had spent his entire life with severe Bipolar/Depressive episodes.
ThatNoPicklePeeThatNoPumpARum
there's a difference between bipolar and depression
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
true - sorry, I don't know much about it.
penguin002
it's true, which is what makes him having both particularly sucky for him.
jiminycreezmus
4 on #27 was really good though
jadefishes
Had to upvote just because #28 is 100% accurate.
CaffeineManic
#13, now we know that midnight Sunday Is the best time to gruesomely murder somebody at that campus.
AmoAmasAmant
That midnight scream would be a good time to commit murder
BrokenTimeMachine
I thought the same thing...
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the two most prolific killers in history, met.
MeanWinchester
Where can I find more of #73?
ThatWouldLookBetterInBlue
gretchensaurus
I feel like there’s been a lot of repetitive dumps lately. “oh that’s funny, I’ll save it and then share it in the next 10-15 minutes”.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
True. I tend to save things I find very funny over several months and then make a dump when I get enough. But there are some that are recent
gretchensaurus
I still like em.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
:D :D :D
IWorkInITAndHateIT
#1 but he's right. 7 billion assholes walking around, and they all have an asshole.
Meowzzar
#31 not sure i get what the joke is.
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
The microwave has one setting for a whole continent's cuisine. There is so much food but it only has one setting for it. It is very strange
forbiddenlake
Italian, Spanish, Oriental buttons
highstream
This dump was an adventure
donegonedrinking
Speaking of dumps #36: Germany - Worst. toilet paper, ever! (as far a acceptable beer drinking countries go)
merlinious
By the way, about that humans and aliens thing, the fan fiction he was referring to is a free online series called "deathworlders".
merlinious
Its one of the best things ive ever read, and it is super long.
chilachinchila
I thought the double agent story was bullshit but it's all true:https: //en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Pujol_Garc%C3%ADa
pyremist
He the original troll face.
UruguayExistsGuys
I saw the image for #4, thought “Oh, now I can check how Olaf is related to the kids” and then I saw the text and I think my mind exploded
goddamnitgivemeausername
I could eat a lettuce in like, 5 minutes tops.
humptyblargh
Congratulations.
blairmichod
Take a blender to the meeting. Stuff the whole head in there. Add mix ins of choice. I recommend BBQ ranch and roasted peanuts. ???. Profit.
ExtraZOIDBERG
MisterDiffer
AndyBlacksmith
Technically if anus georg was a human hed already account for one butthole so for there to be 14 billion he would have to have 7,000,000,001
Maybeyouredumb
The real question is can I fuck them all before I die?
onecowboytoo
The real question is which would you die from first: fucking exhaustion or old age?
AndyBlacksmith
Maybe, but theres no way he can reach and clean them all so at your own risk.
Maybeyouredumb
I learned that the first time I did anal.
humptyblargh
Oh there's plenty of people with more than one poop exit.
SupermassiveZebra
A slight calculative error was made
WowSoOriginal
I think you mean 7,000,000,002, forgot about Kim
NatsukiIsMyWaifu
The glorious leader Kim has no butthole because he doesn't poop.
WowSoOriginal
Exactly, that's why we need extra
AndyBlacksmith
So many variables
ManannanMacLir
I don’t get #75
pergh
I don't know either but my guess is it's a town with no big pharmacy/supermarket or whatever the shops are, and now they have two
RoxanneLaWin
And in that photo, that's two separate branches. But next to each other. And Sunderland is a northern English town.
RoxanneLaWin
Those shops are shitty pie/pastry shops. The shittier the town, the more branches of Gregg's the town centre has. (My hometown has 3.)
XanderCorsaj
As much as I love the Spanish spy story, how could he receive an award "personally approved by Hitler" *after* the war?
Lefthandofgod
They held a séance.
zombiejesta
"[Award] presented via radio, and he received the physical medal from one of his German handlers after the war had ended" guess good timing?
chilachinchila
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Pujol_Garc%C3%ADa
XanderCorsaj
Thanks, but I didn't doubt any of the man's achievements. Just being perhaps pedantic given that particular point. It'd make a good film imo
FuckMyAssAndCallMeObama
I think it could be a fun comedy
Hutchy01
But where would you find an actor convincing enough?
frozenpizzaking
My friend doesn't get #43
whatexactlyisthefunctionofarubberduck
Thomas without the T sounds like hummus which is an amazingly beautifully delicious dip
frozenpizzaking
oooooohh okay that makes sense. thought it was referring to tobacco dip
Shpadoinkleman
Never heard anyone pronounce it like that before.
DAREALWARBOSS
I think it's like when you go to a Mexican restaurant and the waiter is like, "You want more dip?" and you say, "Oh, mas." I think.
QuartzPigeon
This was an excellent interpretation
UruguayExistsGuys
...as a spnish speaker that is horeible grammar, but interesting interpretation
[deleted]
[deleted]
UruguayExistsGuys
SPANISH
UruguayExistsGuys
and horribel
UruguayExistsGuys
horrible*
UruguayExistsGuys
of course, i can’t even say Spanisj, so..
UruguayExistsGuys
spamish
UruguayExistsGuys
spanidh
DAREALWARBOSS
"Oh, mas", or my grammar in general?
UruguayExistsGuys
the "oh, mas" thing ^^
DAREALWARBOSS
Ahh I gotcha. I only speak a little Spanish that I learned from some of my customers.