ebonyfaery
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Bad news
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Compliments are always nice
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Since my last post was removed for reasons I don't understand, have another dump.
scaredshirtless
#50 Who calls the cashier a "checkout wifey"? That's fantastic!
ArgyleNate
#33 Unless you're R. Kelly...
Foxxeface
"Kim Yong Un"
GimpChimp
Obligatory "most adults have herpes" blah blah blah...
gcapi13
#4 missed an opportunity to have pitbull there
ornryactor
Omitting Pitbull is the polar opposite of missing an opportunity.
daftgamer
I regret that I only have 1 upvote to give here.
noReallyIamPrincessBob
Ooooh, burn
biggwhytey
#14 accurate representation of a Grackle.
McHeroGamer
#46 makes 0 sense
fistthemwithfire
Yea, at first I thought I was having a stroke but what he's trying to say is: "I'm okay with paying 5 pence for a bag in Asda (supermarket)
McHeroGamer
Oh... thanks!
fistthemwithfire
but I'm sick of having to light the beacons of Gondor to have someone come and sell/give me one."
ISpeakTheTrueTrue
FlockOfSeagulls25
lionel1024
I see that one in like half the dumps here, and I always love the faces she makes.
FlockOfSeagulls25
someonestolemyawesomeusername
cantname
Can someone please explain #7 to me?
SpecialAgentSkully
I assume they mean, he's the opposite of hot, he's so ugly he's freezing.
MistressLyda
"It is not warm, it is damn cold" maybe?
Chrisboy
It’s a part of Roadman Shaq rapping that “the ting goes” thing
xVancha
The end of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3jlviX88iw
Ifichaseitimgonnafuckit
Top. Let’s smash it.
StonedBoneMalone
#1 micro dosing with MDMA, mushrooms, and LSD all have benefits that a lot of people will never understand because they have the stigma 1/2
StonedBoneMalone
That any amount of that substance you take is going to fuck you up beyond repair.
MonkeyFist29
I think a lot of that stigma is dying. LSD is one of the least harmful drugs. Shrooms have been shown to help tremendously with depression.
MonkeyFist29
Governments are still pushing the “all drugs are bad” thing, but I think most people are coming to realize that it’s not true.
StonedBoneMalone
Yeah, thank goodness. The medical effects of mushrooms are tremendous.
captapathy
MORTALLLLL WOMBAAAAAT
PeckersTheSuicidalBird
TEST YOUR MIGHT!
ornryactor
Isn't that most of them?
daftgamer
You've met an immortal one? Was he named Connor McCloud?
retgarr
Except for Geoffrey. He's unstoppable.
tracereading
Immortal Bomcat!
Hmantooth
#6 made me snort in a public place.
fuckthinkingofagoodusername
At one point I was working at a restaurant for minimum wage with fuck all hours. I complained about the long walk I had to take from 1/?
fuckthinkingofagoodusername
the bus. My flatmate: "Just buy a car". Oh right. How silly of me. Why didn't I think of that. Her parents even bought her car for her.
Hmantooth
Reality is a different beast for some people!
betterunsaid
#15 but....but...people are that dumb. Hence why he asked.
WellThatsOriginal
I'm 20 years out of school but is it possible to ask Google or Alexa to write a unique term paper?
flavivsaetivs
#1 Ketamine is going under clinical trials as an anti-depressant. Ends suicidal depression in less than a day.
likeforsuredude
“Old Random meme dump that was funny two years ago dump”
MonkeyFist29
I hope you title your college essays better than you title dumps.
dark12
Why is there a Viagra in #1 ?
Remy2089
Thank you!
ThePigThatFlew
I was thinking the same thing. That's a 50mg tab of viagra. Are people using that to treat alcoholism or something now?
TagaryenFangirl
#9 really speaks to me.
TheresAGermanWordForThat
Always.
Fairdinkums
#1 speaks to me. I have a problem
OfficialJoeBiden
r/im13andthisisdeep
malexmatt
Anti-social behavior has gone from its fun, punk phase into a boring, mental illness and depression phase.
enfisktofiskrodfiskblafisk
https://media.giphy.com/media/ZmBSwutJ8hGMw/giphy.gif
ohdeepthought
That last one... paracetamol (acetaminophen for the US) overdose is no joke it’s a horrible way to destroy your liver. Nasty way to go.
Mithi
Any of you downvoters care to explain why this fact is downvoted?
beacon2245
I don't know what #1 was taking but it certainly wasn't MDMA.
Amazingamandaaaaa
#7 Joe is pretty cute.
cjdouglass
Great dump, as an Australian I can confirm that we have combat wombats
Whatdoyousaytoanicecupoftea
It's the f**king killer quokkas yo need to watch out for
LordBuzzy
We need them to help fight the drop bears. And for round 2 with the emus.
chriswhitewrites
We've already biffed em twice
casbott
Working on making the buggers venomous.
Grif2005
Mortal Combat Wombats?
MoriartyWithThemNegativeWaves
I hope so. Can you imagine an Immortal Combat Wombat?
timmy26
Basically immortal actually
Fairdinkums
MORTAL COMBAT *theme plays*
kambojah
*wombats roll out*
LordSethos
Alitanyofcomplaints
But what is cheeky nandos
TheresAGermanWordForThat
"When things get pear shaped, we get cube shaped!"
ebonyfaery
I read that in an accent xD
indefatigablysardonic
#1 makes no sense. There is only joy on molly, not the inability to perceive one's own jaw.
digitalist1
How's MDMA supposed to treat alcoholism. Most alcoholics I know are depressed. Doesn't MDMA have like a long ass crash time.
malexmatt
All drugs are hallucinogens that make you see things and forget who you are to people who have never done drugs.
indefatigablysardonic
Granted, u 100% of the time HAVE to be doing something with your mouth(talking, chewing, smoking, etc), which is why ravers love pacifiers.
Unquote
it makes no sense because you will still drink while on E. Or especially the next day since E doesn't have a hangover.
DrunkGermanGuy
it's a reference to the jaw gurning. take more than a moderate dose and you start chewing like crazy
TheGreatBlueHeron
You can still feel your jaw, you just can't unclench it to drink.
mentallychallengeaccepted
#27 WHAT TYPE OF BAG WOULD ONE WANT TO SHARE IN THE MORNING?.. SLEEPING BAG?.. SERIOUSLY?
infinityLAO
Bag of coke im guessing
mentallychallengeaccepted
WHO DOESCOKE IN THE MORNING WHEN YOUR HUNGOVER?.. IS THAT A THING?
solosysygy
For those who are wondering, Asda is the British version of Walmart.
stuey909
Not as trashy though.
MistressLyda
Yeah, I'd say Tesco is more shoddy. It varies a lot between the different stores though.
stuey909
It depends on where you are and if that town is a shithole or not.
WhoWatchesTheWatchm3n
In my town Tesco is <100meters away from Asda
Lkklltt21
Fuck that, Tesco shits all over ASDA. Can't say much though, I'm a LIDL man.
MistressLyda
Only LIDL I'v been at did not even have hummus! Decent chocolate though.
Lkklltt21
The one by mine does hummus, they have these big baskets of nuts as well which are boss.
TheresAGermanWordForThat
Oh god, it can get worse than Tesco brand meat pie?
Mirilali
Nah, in that respect Tesco's the Walmart.
MMSTS95
Grunwald
#31 Is 101 things on the internet that never happened
GentlemanWendigo
Imgur has taught me that anytime you tell something that happened, then it "didn't happen". For example...
GentlemanWendigo
"Donald Trump did NOT become President of the United States".....*waits*
eldieron24
I wouldn't be surprised. The echo probably activated when the person said Alexa at the end then heard I like your blue light
pgdave
I'm dating someone who has both and I can confirm, I have witnessed this in person.
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
I think it's plausible. Alexa might have heard "Alexa" then heard Google's compliment. I don't have Alexa so I can't test it though.
SlideTackle
Just said “Alexa, I like her blue light” to mine and she said “Thanks.” Story checks out.
sarzaya
Short conversation: https://youtu.be/ackkmD61xy0
howtotameyourdragqueen
As far as the Alexa responding idk, but the Google Home does indeed think fondly of its AI brethren.
sangerous
#38 IS NO ONE GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE CUTE BUTTSEX COMIC?!?!
fantasticmisterfox13
I was thinking the same thing +1
joebuck123
#48 WTF? Did I have a stroke?
HortlersLeftNut
"My dear friend, it's hard to explain. It's just like one day you'll be with your friends having a look in JD Sports and you might feel like
HortlersLeftNut
getting a curry at Weatherspoons but your friend Calam who's a total legend and a very funny guy will be like
HortlersLeftNut
"Brothers, let's get some impromptu chicken instead". And you'll think "Great! Let's do it!"
MrMcFartington
I didn't think it said that at all. The more I know
pizzapartyhard
My understanding is the explanations for cheeky nandos are always intentionally obfuscated.
ThomasThundersword
yes
BadWolf16
Well that’s life in London
Vitrum
If you did, we all did
daguq
Nah, mate, it's saff Engerland, prolly Essex, innit.
minant
TL Notes: JD Sports is a sporting goods shop, 'Spoons is Wetherspoons, a pub/restaurant chain, ledge is short for legend 1/
joebuck123
Thanks. That helps a lot.
minant
Banterbury is a portmanteau of banter and Canterbury, Nandos is a chicken restaurant ('cheeky Nandos' is a marketing phrase of theirs). 2/2
wiresnake
Thank you. That shit was gonna keep me up for days otherwise.
mycatodinisbetterthanyourcatodin
Is Nandos really that good. We just got one in Canada
thalass
I tried the nandos in Barrie a while ago and wasn't super impressed. But the ones in Australia were great and we'd go regularly.
Rossage99
Food tastes good but its not nearly worth what it costs in my opinion.
Thejones81
It's just chicken. Nothing special.
minant
It's a casual family-grade restaurant. Their food is nice enough, but it's not going to amaze anyone who's had good piri piri sauces.
FatmanSaul
If you like spending 5x the cost of a chicken for 1/2 of a chicken cooked real basic? Yeah, it's banging pal.
zaphod
'just'? Where in Canada do you live, have had several here for many years in the GTA.
mycatodinisbetterthanyourcatodin
Out in ye olde Alberta
TheLark
We know the "Centre of the Universe" has probably had 'Nanos for years, but they just started moving into the Western "Colonies" haha
tohubohu
It's a'right
Jayfourke
I dislike it, but apparently everyone else in the country loves it. So I'm probably wrong.
zaphod
Yes definitely something wrong with you if you don't like Nando's, best chicken by far. LOL.
FatmanSaul
You're not wrong. There are dozens of us, dozens I tell ya.
yousosexy
https://www.buzzfeed.com/thejoannagraham/cheeky-nandos-explained-finally-1dpai?utm_term=.vrMX33YAz#.iqjqeedxk
joebuck123
Awesome! Thanks.
unholyfuckness
I don't know if they're talking about having sex or getting something to eat. Anyone?
ThePiniestApple
Getting something to eat - either getting curry at Wetherspoons (‘Spoons) or going to Nando’s
jethroismaxbaer5772
Ya fuckin weapon.
joebuck123
My personal favorite. I love Scottish Twitter dumps.
jethroismaxbaer5772
I concur.
dunck11
You and your friends are out shopping at JD (sports shop), and you think that you should go to eat at wetherspoons (pub). (1)
dunck11
Instead, your friend Calum suggests Nando's, and you think "that sounds great, let's do that" (2)
dunck11
That's basically a translation from English chav talk
Alvatore
It looked like australian, tbh.
dunck11
100% British
SonderingStrike
Basically, you’ll be out clubbing and your friend will say “Let’s go eat at Nando’s” and you all say “Great, let’s go have a great time”
GuardsmanMiku
Mate JD is a fucking sports clothes shop not a club
bessiboom
Do you have clubs that are open at the same time as Nandos' restaurant hours? Serious question, that would be great
mrsrowan
Nah this lad has it wrong. Jd is a shoe shop, wetherspoons is a chain pub/restaurant
bessiboom
I'm actually nursing a hangover I got from my local spoons as we speak
mrsrowan
At least you saved some money though right? Cheap as hell
ThePiniestApple
If people genuinely want help understanding I’ll translate
MistressLyda
I am chronically curious, so pretty please? :)
ThePiniestApple
Ok so rough translation: you’re with friends in town, taking a look in JD Sports (a sports shop) and then you get hungry. You might feel 1/?
ThePiniestApple
like getting a curry at Wetherspoons (a pub chain), but your friend Callum, who’s a legend (a great guy) and the archbishop of Banterbury2/?
ThePiniestApple
(As in Canterbury, banter= funny so he’s a really funny person) will say “guys let’s go to Nando’s” (a chicken chain restaurant) and you 3/4
TibbleSniggits
You're an absolute ledge
imnotyourdudebro
I’m gonna translate it with NO UNDERSTANDING. “Sometimes your close friend will change the plans unexpectedly and y’all will be super down.”
MrJaunty
Holy shit. You're both 100% correct and also entirely wrong. Bravo, mate.
SunnySarah20
Care to correct, then? We’re still super lost.
MrJaunty
It... It's really hard to explain.
ZaWithDude
Fill in the gaps!
MrJaunty
He had the intent of the sentence, but the meaning of cheeky Nando's was missing.
princessofbanterbury
ay you were close an that's what counts mate
apostasy
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades
steorotypicalFatGuy
And pregnancy tests
IShouldHaveLeftHereHoursAgo
...and thermonuclear weapons.
jaslbrown
And atom bombs
Inappropesmagotes
And getting her off...wait that's not right.
MimDarling
I sent this to my British friend once and he translated then sent me a few of his own....I left w more questions
MistressLyda
You poor sod.
DevilsArsehole
It's simple enough mate.
joebuck123
I only speak English, Spanish and profanity. That doesn't translate into any of them.
BadWolf16
It is English, it’s just England English
DevilsArsehole
Lol, it's English.
NapAllDayPartyNever
the hell it is
ScoobyDoobyDeuce
That's... That's incorrect.
joebuck123
I assumed a bit of Scot's dialect.
princessofbanterbury
Australian
LordKagrenac
Ye wid get malkied if ye hit out wi that fucking patter here
itmeanspeaceamongworlds
Londoner here. I read it in a Cockney accent. No Scots.