johnaustits
57365
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Mar 2, 2016 8:10 PM
johnaustits
57365
2987
162
EthelPacelli
.
LordTrapper
Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely mind-bogglingly big it is.I mean you may think it's long way down to...
Nadodan
Well that was a huge cluster of humanity at one point so if a theological entity did visit us it would likely be there, and we've never 1/2
Nadodan
met another form of sentient life in the universe so we can't say if that one section is all that was visited in the univserse. 2/2
JackVanFrost
It's a funny moment in life when you realize that Scientology isn't really any crazier than the rest of them.
johnaustits
I whole heartedly agree
GrumpyShadow
Yes! I was looking for this for years! I found it again! Thank you！
Ltgood
But the God being omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent has a handle on it all right? Just wondering.
HighMagosSquidward
I'm atheist, but to be fair, if any given deity DID do things elsewhere in the universe, we wouldn't really have a way to know.
Drhosta
except if you're mormon http://media3.giphy.com/media/lLkKpUBx8K6be/giphy.gif
johnaustits
Yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like Joseph Smith
Drhosta
Yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like yeah but like Utah
ZombiesAreOkay
If I happened to be masturbating while reading this, was I supposed to stop or finish and never do it again?
DavidBrooker
Moreover, was Jesus in the last panel giving you a command just for like, right now (you dirty bastard) or a lifelong thing?
fairybug
As I'm sure my former church would have said: stop, not finish. Which lack of body exploration is probably why they all thought sex hurt.
shackattacktime
Did your momma raise a quitter?
ZombiesAreOkay
My mother was never around, especially when I was masturbating.
wuuubalubadubdub
If you zoom out instead, you can almost see the entirety of OP's mother
KintsugiHeart
You can keep going... Continents, cities, people, organs, cells, organelles, molecules, atoms, um.. subatomic...
iclearlyhavetissues
I know this is a shocker but yes I've thought of this before and I'm still a Christian. There is a difference between blind faith and 1/
iclearlyhavetissues
choosing to believe in what you can't grasp. To me having faith is believing despite doubts just as you have courage despite fear.
johnaustits
Respectable. I just thought this was funny
youngcleanheir
And to think all that is just 6000 years old. Wow.
Kezo2K11
Shaddup and take this upvote like a man!!!
benadrylbumblebutt
not sure if serious or sarcastic
Theguybehindthecurtain
Maybe some radicals. But even in the Bi le it hints at a large amount of time between Adam and the Flood.
NextineX
That doesn't account for the age of the earth/life though. Unless you're proposing Adam lived 3.something billion years ago.
Theguybehindthecurtain
If God us all-powerful, making the earth "billions' of years old is easy.
NextineX
Now you're insinuating the earth isn't billions of years old and that it's just made to look that way. So do you think it's 6000?
Theguybehindthecurtain
ERM. Christians don't really claim it is only 6k years old.
NextineX
Plenty of them do. Including some that were in the running to be president of the USA.
Reedthegreat
I'm a Christian but I still believe in science I just believe that something this complex could not just appear
NextineX
Why not? You believe your god, which is much more complex, "just appeared".
notverylucky1988
Actually most (if not all) X'ians believe God is atemporal or outside of time. Which means He always was. Not that He just appeared.
Reedthegreat
I believe that humans are not capable of understanding everything and would rather live my life believing I have a purpose
kiruwa
Why do people think the vastness of space obviates morality? I'm tempted to make one of these mocking people objecting to human rights abuse
MarsAwaits
The staggering immensity of the universe aside, would you mind telling me what vurious means? I simply cannot find a definition.
AkidwithCancer
Shouldn't the circle hold more of the Arabian peninsula?
glaug
That's why I'm gonna laugh my ass off if space aliens come to Earth and it turns out they're Christian pilgrims
MileHighLivin
I was completely getting amped for a cera, there...
johnaustits
Dude I'm also living that mile high life
oLoki182o
Can you please just move me to the upper right quadrant of the observable universe please? I don't want to live here on Earth anymore.
Mikefreakinhart
Jesus tax...
CPatricoo
Ya know what? Maybe less pictures of nearly naked women. Think the front page would be a little better if porn addicts didn't run with it?
LollipopFromHell
But what about the spaguetti Lord; are you forgetting him?
bigmee
Moms Spaghetti...
johnaustits
Careful, you might offend the meatball magistrates
MNightShyamalamadingdong
in nomine pasta, et fusilli, et spaghetti sancti....R'amen.
CompressedInfo
I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage
ginniper
He boiled for your sins!
lizardbones
we have all been touched
Thatllbuffrightout
Enhance.
HassovonManteuffel
God, I'm very sorry that I saw this and chuckled. Please, don't be mad at me. I'm not ready for Hell yet. And sorry for this comment.
chuckness42
All jokes aside its mind boggling how big the universe is
FloodingWaters
you may think it's a long ways down to the chemist, but that's just peanuts compared to space.
mynamesbryson
I read this post as I'm watching Interstellar lol.
PoolOrAPond
Fun fact the observable universe is roughly 92 billion light years in diameter, if you like space I'd recommend https://youtu.be/QXfhGxZFcVE
HerInfernalMajesty
Yeah, I liked this post up until the last part. I thought it was just a universe appreciation thing.
Fairdinkums
Appreciate the lord. He is watching
johnaustits
... You masturbate
Fairdinkums
Fuck i was only joking! Minus 2 what an outrage
HerInfernalMajesty
I love these comments. Thanks for making me laugh y'all +1
roboricky
Technically, the bible never explicitly says anything about masturbation, just that sex should only exist within the covenant of marriage.
wadenelson1
that kinda rubs me the wrong way...
leedsward
Mormons have space Jesus, so check yourself.
acunninglinguist
Man, Mormonism is fucking crazy.
heyguysimtom
I'm mormon. Who is space jesus?
SweetGeekling
Probably a reference to Kolob and everyone getting their own planets and such.
heyguysimtom
Mormons don't believe we get our own planet. We believe we get our own infinite universe
SweetGeekling
Right, but the planet thing was mentioned in the BoM musical, so that might be where it came from.
DinosaurusRex24
Indeed
thatscooltoo
Woah
heyguysimtom
Yeah man. Big leagues
fourthreeone
Who is Space Jesus? He sounds awesome.
IAmTheGoldenGod
Well the same Jesus but there's another planet where heaven is. And he's the Christ of ALL planets everywhere. His sacrifice here...
IAmTheGoldenGod
Applies for all mankind in the universe. I'm a Mormon and as I type it out I realize why people closed doors in my face as a missionary
msa011
Well, I've never paid attention to mormons before but after reading that and, being a fan of sci-fi, I'm interested
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
I apologize in advance for anyone I might offend. But the BoM reads like piss poor New Testament fan fiction.
thatscooltoo
There is a book you might be interested in called The Mormon Scientist by Henry Eyring. Not sci-fi, but it embraces science AND religion
Lifeisverybeautiful
Not sure why you got downvoted. It was informative. Thank you.
IAmTheGoldenGod
Eh, cest la vie
fakehipster
If you think that it sounds ridiculous, then why do you believe it? Not trying to be judgemental, purely curious.
whitter86
There's a lot that they do regarding young people to really draw you in. It's the highest form of manipulation.
whitter86
I'm not a Mormon but I was a Christian at one time and it's a cult. There's no other way to describe it.
whitter86
I can answer that. When you are brought up in it from infancy it's very hard to break away. Yeah I sound like Kelly Clarkson.
leedsward
http://vigilantcitizen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/43370957_132efd8a46.jpg this is an image from the Visiting Center in Salt Lake City.
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
Ex Mormon in Utah, that is there and they do indeed believe in a cosmic pantheon of gods.
SmilingHitler
Yo wait what?
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
Jesus and god are separate. Also, there was that big thing about perfect people getting their own planet after death.
heyguysimtom
K I'm mormon, and they don't believe in a pantheon. Not in the sense you're saying it
DinosaurusRex24
Foreal what is he talking about
Thebuildingisonfireanditsnotmyfault
Unless I'm sorely mistaken. Jesus and God are two separate individual. Multiple gods = pantheon.
yavamosportuputahamburgesa
NEAREST UNTO KOLOB
chadisbad0
Mormons reppin' wasssup
TheycallmeRisky
Mecha-Jesus would kick Space Jesus' ass.
DannyJoe
They also have wonderful magical underwear.
graehall
They do, but they also have a strong presence on imgur so if you point out the absurdities of their cult they can get a bit downvotey.
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graehall
It is a cult, and it's kind of disgusting too, the treatment of black people in the church, the shunning. Even The Simpsons called it a cult
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graehall
And I really don't think you want people checking the sources to find out just how fucking absurd it is.
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heyguysimtom
It's a religious article of clothing. Not really that rare
Montypower10
I'll just put this here. http://imgur.com/drK6d85
Unlightened0
Damn Uranus is big.
YouHaveGreatHair
DAMMMM. Burn more savage than the surface of Pollux.
Roguebro
How accurate is the size of these stars and planets? Do we basically just measure with a telescope? Sorry If stupid question
zipperseven
Short answer: parallax. If we can measure the distance (which we can, reliably) we know how big they are. (1/2)
zipperseven
Using data from Hubble, Spitzer, Chandra, & other space telescopes as well as those on the ground. (2/2)
theconjecturetheorem
Brutal
ThePhoenixBard160
Ouch
186000mps
Literal LOL, head back and everything
Superchief86
Hah! I was watching that thinking "They should put a joke about someone's mother in this." Made my day.
internetgod
.
Peridactyl
Whatever space is something made up by the government.
CoffeeBaagel
I've seen it before so now gonna watch the whole thing, but...OP's mom-
Turb0Yoda
Knew it
Maiturbanisdurtee
THis is so fucking terrifying. Like we can't even grasp how fucking large VY Canis Major is. Fuck man wtf is the universe holy shit.
muttonchoppa
expected cera
Neurofinity
Knew it from the start.
Massxacceleration
Same
SmurfStain
Worth the wait
ResQueRabbit
worth the weight as well
CheetoStains
Ba dum tiisssk
ShouTuckersGhost
I'm pretty sure Genesis 1 breaks out of the circle, just a little bit
CptRobotNinja
Ssshhhh youll ruin their narative
NextineX
Yeah apparently it took him 4 days to perfect this little rock we're on, yet he spat out the rest of the entire universe as an afterthought.
UdoKosh
Created with light from distant galaxies already en route to the earth. Amazing.
goingbrokesavingmoney
A timelessness was implied: In the beginning G-d created the heavens & the earth (gen 1:1)
AmbiguousGardens
The term "beginning" is not a timeless implication
ZtZebaztian
Did you censor out the 'o' in God? o-O I mean I know there's militant atheists out there, but it isn't THAT bad is it?
goingbrokesavingmoney
its a habit i picked up from while dialogue with some of my Jewish friends who don't complete the spelling out of respect/reverence
NextineX
I'm simply poking fun at biblical literalists who think it really was over a few days.
GraphicsInterchangeFormat
Got to give them credit for actually reading the words. Instead of musing over them.
goingbrokesavingmoney
gotcha :) transposing a modern understanding of truth over an ancient understanding of truth always creates problems
RedWingsofSteel
I would have thought the omniscient would be able to explain things to the simple minded scribes without them bollocking up so thoroughly.
SuperNintendoChalrmers
Yeah not sure this is theologically accurate. Also the bible don't say nothin about that last line...
grizzlykillerespresso
But it is kinda funny, and I dont think God really needs me to defend him. So I'll just have myself a chuckle and move on
Boufus
I'm just gonna chill here with you guys instead of participating in some futile argument with a stranger on the Internet. Y'all seem cool
AmbiguousGardens
I'm just wondering why it was in this otherwise cool post
PunkHippieBoy
However they all do say that it was all created specifically for us. That is by far the craziest statement ever
athunderingpackofllamas
I mean the very first chapter of the bible is about God making the Universe so technically EVERYTHING in this post happened in the Bible.
dunecat1337
Kind if arguable: https://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/god-on-the-bible-genesis-386-10/
KunFayyaKun
welcome to atheist circle jerk. Would you like to go to the Dawkins or Hitchens section?
liliputian7
both pls with a side of sorbet
CptJero
It's always nice to see that atheists, too, can be zealots.
Theguybehindthecurtain
And it shows that being an atheist is really a worldview, just like Islam or Christianity.
CptJero
A Username has never been so relevant
belortik
Well no because it's not organized around any beliefs. It's a lack of a belief in the supernatural anything else is purely on the individual
CptJero
In practice it's just as organized as religion. A religion that believes there is nothing, with people like Dawkins and Hitchens worshiped
Viper3232
Im not sure you know what zealot means?
CptJero
Zealot: (n) a person who is fanatical in pursuit and spread of their ideals.
Viper3232
Look up Joke (n) next
Viper3232
And from a single sentence you cleaned that they were not only fanatical but trying to spread their ideals?
FindYourChillMate
Um how does this show that?
CptJero
Zealot: (n) a person who is fanatical in pursuit and spread of their ideals.
FindYourChillMate
Yeh i dont think an image meant as a joke counts as that...