Stories about my literal shit eating cousin

#1

My cousin, let's ca him Zed. Zed is weird. We're two years apart in age and both males. We're the only males in the family, myself being the only male born in 29 years.

Zed and I got along well and always played together. And then when I was 10 he got a playdough set. He took dog poop and used the set to play with it.

#2

After that I was grossed out by him but still liked him. Fast forward a year and we're wrestling, as boys do. About ten minutes into wrestling, he shits himself and begins teaching into his pants and using it to fight.
I threw up everywhere when he smacked me with a Shit covered hand.
After that, I never let him get within striking distance for four years.

#3

We were both teenagers. I was 16 and he was 15. He had just had his birthday three days prior and I was outback sitting in a tree, being an angsty teen.
He walked up and somehow convinced me to go to his room with him. His dad called him and I went to check in his closet for any suprises. I foud jarred shit fermenting in piss.
I was counting the minutes till my Mom was coming to pick me up right then.

#4

This happened today. I had to stop by his Dad's place to give him something from my Mom (it's been a year since I've seen my cousin) and I was already out with my GF. So I stopped at my Uncle's, gave him what he needed, and then went to use the bathroom. I saw my cousin with his face covered in shit and chewing on a Lincoln Log. I nearly threw up.

Not gonna go within 100 miles of him anymore.

Puppy Tax.