Carefully Curated Crap, Vol. 955

Sep 6, 2026 3:18 AM

MemeMuseumCurator

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Dislikes

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Man Tax: Ashton Kutcher

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent upon it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do. -Galileo Galilei, physicist and astronomer (1564-1642)

So, I made a discord server. It's a relaxed environment where you can take/donate memes to the cause, play trivia twice a week, chat about lots of topics or about nothing at all. We also have Jack Box game night and are setting up movie night! Very laid back/relaxed vibe. Come hang with us.
https://discord.gg/AWFV7FT3RQ
I'm also on the imgcat server for updates & fun:
https://discord.gg/TpjD37jgJ9

https://ko-fi.com/mememuseumcurator
Unable to work, zero income. Feel free to leave me a tip. Those that have, y'all are the bee's knees. You've honestly been my lifeline. For the couple people that have said I'm "scamming" people, I only get SNAP, so this money goes to things like TP, shampoo, laundry detergent, etc

but_not_super_carefully

carefully_curated

funny

goodvibes

meme_dump

#17 https://wtf-product.shop/sons-of-anarchy.html

2 hours ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 0

#17 https://wtf-product.shop/sons-of-anarchy.html

3 hours ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

#1 Sent that to our teen son. I think he may be offended but that’s just me doing my job as a dad.😂

11 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#6 Come out to the coast, see a few m— wow, that is a lot of mousies!

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

#16
My mom had Alzheimer’s. Then at some point she had a bladder infection and they had to put in a catheter.
The very FIRST time she ‘had to go’, she looked at the thing, went ‘what is this’ and yanked it out. Filled balloon and all.
She just took out that thing with a hard balloon with a diameter of an inch / inch and a half.
My sack still retreats back inside my belly thinking about it.

9 hours ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

#16 no, shit

10 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#18 Will never not say this to videos like this: Put on a goddamn helmet!!

9 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#18 Ya ha ha! You found me!

6 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#18 Stalking?

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#4 flight instructor

12 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#14 is my reaction to #16

6 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#4 is princess donut the Queen Anne chonk

10 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure what that has to do with seagulls buuut magic missile!

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mongo is appaled

7 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#2 Doing stuff your wife/gf wants is a green flag (in general).
inb4 idiots "whut if she wants you to do somthing dangerous": See 2nd word of sentence.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

"stuff" "idiots" "2nd"

5 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#19 the goblin friend definition is a funny way for me to discover myself, but here we are

12 hours ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 4

Same

10 hours ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

chicharrone: "Ha! The Goblin Friend [chuckle]. I wonder which one of my friends it is........Wait a second. Hold on. Now, come on! Shit...it's me. it's me"

9 hours ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

#16 This is the one that made me upvote the entire post.
Thanks!
⬆️

11 hours ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

#16 had me laughing way too hard given how much that had to hurt.

10 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#20 Well now I just want to hear a bardcore version of Opus No. 1... https://onlinevideos.click/watch?v=N7xn5zeJ4D4&r=1

3 hours ago | Likes 127 Dislikes 2

#18 mosquitos in maine coming for my blood donation as soon as I hit the woods for a dog walk

4 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#4 "Group" projects in college...

11 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That lady, 100% looks like a crazy cat lady.

11 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#24 This song's a banger

12 hours ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUaQxmkh81tJAWrreHe3CJg Performer goes by 'Mezerg'

11 hours ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Now no one can enjoy the fruit. He put his hands on all of them.

4 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The device he is using is called the Playtron and I know at least 1 streamer who has used it to play games.

9 hours ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

#9 good that the dog accepted him

4 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it ?




Nothing it just gave of a little wine.

1 hour ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#9 If your dog sleeps with you, you sleep in a dog bed

4 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#7 I had to google “what do the kids call sneakers these days” yesterday, so obviously I’m doing well and not feeling my age at all

1 hour ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#16 There is a bubble on the end of that, it's to stop it sliding out. It is very painful if it's not deflated first as I learned when a student nurse tried to pull mine out.

1 hour ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#2 I was hoping it would end with everyone else drowning.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

#16 Yikes...

12 hours ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 6

yikes is insufficient.

7 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah. That would be catastrophic damage if that happened.

10 hours ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

At least this unfortunate removal was in a downwards direction but there is still the part of detachment from the bladder going through a very sensitive part of the body.

4 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have heard that can result in what has been referred to as "exploded hotdog syndrome".

6 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They named it??

5 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yikes, Aston Kutcher!? Gross.

12 hours ago | Likes 148 Dislikes 13

ok, what did he do?

11 hours ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

He partied extensively with Diddy, and he spoke out in support of Danny Masterson (convicted rapist) and Joe Paterno (child abuser).

10 hours ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 2

He's also guilty of being Ashton Kutcher

9 hours ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

8 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Also lobbying hard for scanning everyone's private devices for csam (what could possibly go wrong with that, right).

6 hours ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Thought he did all this humanitarian work to help trafficked women, wtf ugh

8 hours ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Damn. Hadn't kept up. Thought that too but I've not thought of hin in years

4 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Humanitarian work" in this case is creating digital surveillance app for the cops in partnership with Peter Thiel's Palantir. He's scum through and through.

6 hours ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Who knows if that was really for a good cause now.

All the other things he's done throw his philanthropy in to question frankly.

Especially with ties to Scientology through Danny Masterson and him making a company that processes images of child pornography that on the surface was for sites to use so their own moderation staff weren't subjected to seeing the content when it was reported and would pass on the CSAM to Ashton Kutchers company instead

6 hours ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

He actually had to resign from Thorn in 2023 because of his support for Masterson.

3 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, it's weird. Cosby levels of juxtaposition.

8 hours ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

huxtaposition

5 hours ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

#2 A pinkie promise is a sacred oath.

12 hours ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 4

Only issue is, jumping into water from height wearing a life jacket is a really good way to break your neck

7 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That's what I thought. I'd rather have the brains to not cliff-jump or the brains to do it safely.

5 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He's alive now, but JFC hitting the water at 50mph with a cubic foot of foam around your neck isn't a great plan.

5 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Someone who does what they say they’re gonna even when pressured? That’s a strong quality

11 hours ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Pressured AND it's implied he could easily keep the violation secret. Such genuine respect is the stuff that comprises what we call 'love.'

9 hours ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

7 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0