Meet Wayne 'Buck' Shelford

Buck Shelford, the man with balls so big they cannot be contained.

Buck Is an NZ Rugby legend. He captained the NZ national rugby team, the All Blacks, for four years (1987-1990) without losing a single match. He is also arguably our best No.8 of all time. This pales in significance to one Herculean act of badassery while playing the French in '86.

Performing the traditional pre-match Haka. In which the All Blacks express their intention to inflict large amounts of pain.

20 mins into the first half, Buck found himself caught on the bottom of a particularly aggressive ruck (The writhing pile of man-flesh formed after a tackle), and received a vicious punt to the testes. On rising, Buck found that the stray French boot had far more malicious intent, tearing open his coin purse and leaving one of the crown jewels with far more freedom than is desirable.

He was a beast of a man.

Jogging himself to the sideline with his stray gonad taking in the sights and sounds, he calmly requested that the team physio put his egg back in bed, which he did then and there. Without anaesthetic. On live TV.

The French won the match, despite the pants-shitting terror they must have felt when HE RETURNED TO THE FIELD. Scrote freshly knitted up, he carried on to play the second half. Only retiring after taking a stray elbow to the chompers, removing four of his teeth and knocking him unconscious.

To this day Buck has no recollection of the match.