AndyTheAbsurd

41516 pts · November 22, 2013


The duck and the moose were walking along the airplane when suddenly a tree ran up to them. The tree said "blatta Hroþnaþ im ga heep!" They looked at the tree with sad expressions on their faces. The tree turned and slowly began to walk away. The moose took a $400 bill out of his antler and quickly taped it to the tree's back as it retreated. Then they all got run over by a canal driving drunk in a Catepillar 727H.

#8 As a decade-long Tumblr user, no. Tumblr is unique.

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#25 A Fisher Space Pen rather than a vape, and I don't carry a lighter, but otherwise pretty accurate. I've thought about switching to a messenger bag, but...meh.

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#34 I need to refill my car napkin supply. Thanks for the reminder!

3 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Topological hole versus colloquial hole. Topologically speaking, your straw with one end sealed up has zero holes. Colloquially, it has one.

3 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"Consultants are important and necessary because nobody has in-house experience with everything" True! But you don't hire consultants to fix that problem! You hire other companies that work in whatever you need expertise in. Those people aren't "consultants," they're ...just... regular companies getting paid for doing work. And if you think you need management consultants, what you actually need is to listen to your line workers. They know where the problems are.

4 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The point of the airburst is that it uses up all the oxygen in the area...so in this case, you'd want lots of big tanks of inert gas (nitrogen is probably the easiest to source) under high pressure to displace the oxygen rather than explosives. Of course, getting oxygen to the people who open the tanks to let the nitrogen out is going to be a problem...

4 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#31 That's a pompadour, not a fade. What is wrong with people these days? /j

4 months ago | Likes 183 Dislikes 1

The weirdest thing about it is that both sets of escalators are in banks, not malls or airports. But Wyoming also has very few malls or airports, too.

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have a Suzuki X-90, which is the same frame, engine, and transmission, but wearing a Miata-esque body (T-tops, not convertible, though). Great conversation starter.

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've had interviews that lasted ten minutes and I've had interviews that lasted four hours. Depends on both job and company.

5 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They had a bad rap before The Lion King came out; the movie played on preexisting stereotypes (though I'm not actually sure that's the right word) about hyenas.

5 months ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Unfortunately, many people with diminished hearing will do ANYTHING to avoid admitting to themselves that they have diminished hearing. Including rejecting offers of aids like a doorbell flasher.

5 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but Trump will probably pick some right-wing ex-MMA-fighter podcaster who will get his ass kicked in the first 20 seconds of the fight.

5 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#18 I have a car with a T-top roof, and the T-top panels stay in the trunk when I'm out in it exactly to avoid this kind of situation. They can get slapped back on in probably less than two minutes if I'm in a hurry. The Lotus's targa top (single roof panel, instead of T-tops' two separate panels) would make this more difficult to do solo.

5 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're not a very good capitalist, the market would bear at least $15 for your product.

5 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

"Need parts to build ship. Gonna go to otter space!" That's my guess, anyway.

6 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Which is impressive, given how hard the previous hated the USA.

6 months ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

Or did you just not like being told what color to wear and were perfectly fine wearing pink when it was your own choice to do so?

6 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah. It's shocking how many people do this given how frequently LLM results are wrong. Google Search results have been getting worse for years, but the solution is "switch to a different search engine" rather than "switch to the hallucination machine that uses up a ton of fresh water and eats all the world's RAM production".

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also happens in Florida. As does #4 because it's swamp-ass season 10 months out of the year in Florida.

6 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You're either spending extra time parking or extra time leaving. It doesn't matter much for an individual person, and even less now that new cars are required to have rear cameras that come on when the car is in reverse. Emergency services need to get to the site of the emergency quickly, so backing in makes sense for them as it happens AFTER their job is done. (Or a garaging situation where they can pull through, though that generally takes a lot of time and money to set up).

6 months ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 5

Absolutely!

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Until your wife finds out. Didn't you read the meme?

6 months ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

#38 Hey, me too! Wanna be friends?

6 months ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

And cats and toxoplasmosis (the parasite that spends part of its life cycle in cat shit)

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Into, say, a nearby public restroom so people can piss on it?

6 months ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

One of the local ospreys has a nest on top of a light pole at my gym. Got a picture of her on it a couple weeks ago.

6 months ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

#10 You have a better life than I do, then. It's going to take at least three coffees to fix anything I got going on.

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is one of the reasons I don't have kids.

6 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

All they need to do to catch people is to assign one police officer to check AirBnB's site once per week. It's not hard to catch people when this information HAS TO be public in order for AirBnB's system to work.

6 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0