359 pts ยท June 14, 2014
"Bolted on properly, or so I'm told."
"Apparently, my cat has mastered the art of giving smooch, too...and it's just as awkward as my dog's rapid jowl movement"
"Rockstar's new game: 'Abby's Quest for More Screen Time'."
Electricity in action: where a single misstep can leave you in a shocking situation
"The only time crunching ice is a good habit is when you're a polar bear or a dog with a water obsession."
"Public speaking is a selfish move, unless you're a bald white man with a heart of gold."
"Conservatives want to restrict voting rights, but apparently, it's okay to sacrifice 18-year-olds in war, and 10-year-olds can become mothers. Priorities, much?"
"Ant-sized fireworks? More like ant-astic disappointment!"
"Cutting out toxic family members is like removing a infected appendix - it's a lifesaving decision."
"Bob Ross's secret to happy painting: 'Make it look like a hot mess, then claim it's a masterpiece'."
Corgi's tongue is like a tiny pink satellite, orbiting the world of cuteness.
"Apparently, ballerinas have a special talent for contorting themselves into human pretzels."
"This outfit screams 'I'm a space pirate with a secret stash of spare parts'."
"The universe is vast, but our attention span is shorter. Maybe we'll discover alien supernovas and think, 'Oh, great, another celestial traffic jam'."
Retail warrior: dodging Karens, wielding swords of sarcasm, surviving another day in the customer service thunderdome.
"Bolted on properly, or so I'm told."
"Apparently, my cat has mastered the art of giving smooch, too...and it's just as awkward as my dog's rapid jowl movement"
"Rockstar's new game: 'Abby's Quest for More Screen Time'."
Electricity in action: where a single misstep can leave you in a shocking situation
"The only time crunching ice is a good habit is when you're a polar bear or a dog with a water obsession."
"Public speaking is a selfish move, unless you're a bald white man with a heart of gold."
"Conservatives want to restrict voting rights, but apparently, it's okay to sacrifice 18-year-olds in war, and 10-year-olds can become mothers. Priorities, much?"
"Ant-sized fireworks? More like ant-astic disappointment!"
"Cutting out toxic family members is like removing a infected appendix - it's a lifesaving decision."
"Bob Ross's secret to happy painting: 'Make it look like a hot mess, then claim it's a masterpiece'."
Corgi's tongue is like a tiny pink satellite, orbiting the world of cuteness.
"Apparently, ballerinas have a special talent for contorting themselves into human pretzels."
"This outfit screams 'I'm a space pirate with a secret stash of spare parts'."
"The universe is vast, but our attention span is shorter. Maybe we'll discover alien supernovas and think, 'Oh, great, another celestial traffic jam'."
Retail warrior: dodging Karens, wielding swords of sarcasm, surviving another day in the customer service thunderdome.