20112 pts · June 27, 2015
Born french, live in Canada. Woman married to a trans beautiful woman. Cat owner. Developer.
Of course, and I apologize if I made you feel this way. I have no doubt that you would have used it this way, but you feel like the type of person that would apologize if that made the person uncomfortable. Nowadays, racists, bigots, transphobes, fatphobes etc are way more covert than before and are getting more clever at disguising their attacks, which is why we have to believe the people living through discriminations. That was what my point was, not at all to make you feel bad, I'm sorry
Don't gaslight yourself tho. Trans people are used to an entire life of being gaslighted by people. If you think something was off, don't try to rationalize your instinct and what your body is telling you. You're clever and you know what's up with people. It doesn't mean you should get upset, just that you have to trust yourself and your own body. I'm sorry this sucked for you, but you're strong and resilient, and I'm proud of you
I know you meant well, but don't tell transgender people "Oh this wasn't malicious, it's gender neutral". My wife is transgender. People do shit like that all the time BECAUSE it is plausibly deniable. When you have the person in front of you and you hear their tone and how they speak and you're used to it, you get an instinct that tells you the difference between shady and normal. If she felt something was off, chances are it is.
Exactly. We still very much genocide Indigenous people and are not making enough to make it up to them. We still have racist biases and Alberta gotta get its shit together with trans people, it's not funny anymore. Canada is my country, I love it with all my heart and I'm grateful it welcomed me, but we can and must do better.
I can volunteer 👉👈
Please let me know if you have other questions, thank you for trying to understand and staying curious and respectful, it's very much appreciated <3
I've been with my wife for 14 years, and she has transitioned for 3 years. But even before knowing she was trans she would wear only woman clothing that could be accepted for a man, she would wear skirts and makeup on the weekend, never correct people using feminine pronouns for her etc. I never used masculine terms because I knew she hated them. This was all when we didn't even know what being trans means. It's extremely surprising to people that don't know trans folks!
Transitioning, as in changing your body to fit the mental image you have of yourself and remove or add things that makes you feel happy in your own body, is and should stay personal. Trans women are still women, act and feel more like women than people that have never met a trans person before would know. My wife is trans, and even before she "officially" transitioned (meaning she understood she was trans and started taking hormones, changed her names and her pronouns) she felt extremely feminin
Every question are welcomes if they are asked respectfully! The answer is it depends. Some trans folks have disphoria with their genitals and some don't. Also, the surgery is very complex and demanding and expensive. Some trans folks can take hormones so their body will change throughout time, but not everything will change. So it depends what you think "looks" like a man. If it's only the genitalia then it could be. But that doesn't change the fact that they will act and dress like women
It's neither. It's a woman. Being trans is something additional to being a woman, like being a Black woman or a disabled woman. A woman is trans because the body she's been born with was identified as birth as being male, and therefore she was assigned this gender. Statistically speaking, it works most of the time. Sometimes, biology does weird stuff because it's not perfect. A trans woman is simply a woman that had to deal with that. I hope it's clearer now <3Trans woman = woman, in short
My wife is trans and I wish I didn't see that article. My heart just sank in my socks. I want to cry under a blanket now.
Well, what a coincidence, you are fun and lovely!
I'm sorry... I sent a text message 2 weeks ago to my mom telling her I am cutting all communication with her. I know how hard it is, but trust me, it'll be better for your own mental health in the long term. You're not a bad person in the slightest.
Every time my wife puts those away I wince, hoping she doesn't cut herself (I'm the one actually using it so I don't know if she realizes how sharp they actually are)
I can't "have" a favorite color either, and yet if I tell someome my favorite color is pink, they won't be able to deny it and say "No, actually, it's blue", they'll be fucking insane.
I did, and that's rad!
Jeez, that made me tear up...
Well it's also assuming he's heterosexual, so nope, I don't think it's funny
I live in Mississauga! If you ever go to Toronto or in the area, send me a message! And happy birthday!!
I use gentlethem sometimes, my enby folks love it!
Lesbian sex is weird
And remember, even if you're never hot or pretty you're valid. Even if you're early transition you're valid. Even if you can't or don't want to do the surgeries/medical transition you're valid.
This is the way.
OMG THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW
Unfortunately, there is also the "if a girl compliment a guy then chances are she's going to be hit on or the guy will think she's interested", so we usually don't compliment men. I learned that lesson relatively quickly, because I have (had) a tendency of complimenting everything I liked on everyone
They are all so very cute.
It's like misgendering a bad person, I don't think compromising my own sense of morality for a brief relief is worth it, but you do you. I have severe body dismorphia due to my obesity that I struggle with, and if someone called a bad person 'fat' or something like that, I would likely cry hidden in my room for days following, because then it will be seen at yet another indication than being not conventionally beautiful is associated with being bad.
Holy shirt, thank you for sharing that!
I unfortunately agree with you...
LOL My wife did the nails thing when she started transitioning. She also smiled at everyone like she was the happiest cutie patootie in all of Ontario because she felt accepted by her colleagues.
Of course, and I apologize if I made you feel this way. I have no doubt that you would have used it this way, but you feel like the type of person that would apologize if that made the person uncomfortable. Nowadays, racists, bigots, transphobes, fatphobes etc are way more covert than before and are getting more clever at disguising their attacks, which is why we have to believe the people living through discriminations. That was what my point was, not at all to make you feel bad, I'm sorry
Don't gaslight yourself tho. Trans people are used to an entire life of being gaslighted by people. If you think something was off, don't try to rationalize your instinct and what your body is telling you. You're clever and you know what's up with people. It doesn't mean you should get upset, just that you have to trust yourself and your own body. I'm sorry this sucked for you, but you're strong and resilient, and I'm proud of you
I know you meant well, but don't tell transgender people "Oh this wasn't malicious, it's gender neutral". My wife is transgender. People do shit like that all the time BECAUSE it is plausibly deniable. When you have the person in front of you and you hear their tone and how they speak and you're used to it, you get an instinct that tells you the difference between shady and normal. If she felt something was off, chances are it is.
Exactly. We still very much genocide Indigenous people and are not making enough to make it up to them. We still have racist biases and Alberta gotta get its shit together with trans people, it's not funny anymore. Canada is my country, I love it with all my heart and I'm grateful it welcomed me, but we can and must do better.
I can volunteer 👉👈
Please let me know if you have other questions, thank you for trying to understand and staying curious and respectful, it's very much appreciated <3
I've been with my wife for 14 years, and she has transitioned for 3 years. But even before knowing she was trans she would wear only woman clothing that could be accepted for a man, she would wear skirts and makeup on the weekend, never correct people using feminine pronouns for her etc. I never used masculine terms because I knew she hated them. This was all when we didn't even know what being trans means. It's extremely surprising to people that don't know trans folks!
Transitioning, as in changing your body to fit the mental image you have of yourself and remove or add things that makes you feel happy in your own body, is and should stay personal. Trans women are still women, act and feel more like women than people that have never met a trans person before would know. My wife is trans, and even before she "officially" transitioned (meaning she understood she was trans and started taking hormones, changed her names and her pronouns) she felt extremely feminin
Every question are welcomes if they are asked respectfully! The answer is it depends. Some trans folks have disphoria with their genitals and some don't. Also, the surgery is very complex and demanding and expensive. Some trans folks can take hormones so their body will change throughout time, but not everything will change. So it depends what you think "looks" like a man. If it's only the genitalia then it could be. But that doesn't change the fact that they will act and dress like women
It's neither. It's a woman. Being trans is something additional to being a woman, like being a Black woman or a disabled woman. A woman is trans because the body she's been born with was identified as birth as being male, and therefore she was assigned this gender. Statistically speaking, it works most of the time. Sometimes, biology does weird stuff because it's not perfect. A trans woman is simply a woman that had to deal with that. I hope it's clearer now <3
Trans woman = woman, in short
My wife is trans and I wish I didn't see that article. My heart just sank in my socks. I want to cry under a blanket now.
Well, what a coincidence, you are fun and lovely!
I'm sorry... I sent a text message 2 weeks ago to my mom telling her I am cutting all communication with her. I know how hard it is, but trust me, it'll be better for your own mental health in the long term. You're not a bad person in the slightest.
Every time my wife puts those away I wince, hoping she doesn't cut herself (I'm the one actually using it so I don't know if she realizes how sharp they actually are)
I can't "have" a favorite color either, and yet if I tell someome my favorite color is pink, they won't be able to deny it and say "No, actually, it's blue", they'll be fucking insane.
I did, and that's rad!
Jeez, that made me tear up...
Well it's also assuming he's heterosexual, so nope, I don't think it's funny
I live in Mississauga! If you ever go to Toronto or in the area, send me a message! And happy birthday!!
I use gentlethem sometimes, my enby folks love it!
Lesbian sex is weird
And remember, even if you're never hot or pretty you're valid. Even if you're early transition you're valid. Even if you can't or don't want to do the surgeries/medical transition you're valid.
This is the way.
OMG THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW
Unfortunately, there is also the "if a girl compliment a guy then chances are she's going to be hit on or the guy will think she's interested", so we usually don't compliment men. I learned that lesson relatively quickly, because I have (had) a tendency of complimenting everything I liked on everyone
They are all so very cute.
It's like misgendering a bad person, I don't think compromising my own sense of morality for a brief relief is worth it, but you do you. I have severe body dismorphia due to my obesity that I struggle with, and if someone called a bad person 'fat' or something like that, I would likely cry hidden in my room for days following, because then it will be seen at yet another indication than being not conventionally beautiful is associated with being bad.
Holy shirt, thank you for sharing that!
I unfortunately agree with you...
LOL My wife did the nails thing when she started transitioning. She also smiled at everyone like she was the happiest cutie patootie in all of Ontario because she felt accepted by her colleagues.