Splaat

95097 pts · October 13, 2013


Hello. How are you? (Choose from below.) __________________________________ Angry (See A.)__ Curious (See B.)__ Bored (See B.)__ Excited (See B.)__ In love (See C.)__ Horny (See letter D.)__ Insane (See D.)__ Stoned (See D.)__ Sick (See D.)__ Powerful (See D.)___ Jealous (See D.)___ Lonely (See E.)__ Guilty (See E.)__ Suicidal (See F.)__ Afraid (See G.)__ Nauseous (See G.)__ Confused (See G.)__ Suspicious (See G.)__ Hungry (See H.)__ Sleepy (See H.)__ Enlightened (See I.)__ In awe (See I.)__ Happy (See I.)__ Thankful (See I.)__ I don’t know. (See J.)__ None of the above. (See J.) __________________________________ A) I didn’t mean to cause anybody trouble. I just came here to have fun. I know I can be confusing and crazy. But I’d upvote you. Give me a chance. (See *.) Or if you're not at me? (See D.)__ B) I hope you find what you’re looking for, and that you’re not looking for something bad. I can try to be entertaining. Really, I don’t mind. (See *.)__ C) Hey, there. (See *.)__ D) Woah, take a deep breath. Proceed with caution, and I will too. (See *.)__ E) Aww, you can talk to me. I’ll even try to be interesting. (See *.)__ F) You forgot something important. Want to know what? (See *)__ G) Honestly, you probably should be. Maybe I can help. (See * below.)__ H) I can’t really help you there. Maybe I can give some pointers, though. (See *.)__ I) Nice. Just be one with that. Care to share? (See *.)__ J) Don’t worry. For now. I’ll help. (See *.) __________________________________ *Send me a message if you want. I don't mind. You don't have to. I don't even know if anybody will ever read this. I am kind of curious what brought you here. But don't worry about what time, for what reason, or about who you are. You probably have some image of me in your mind, and it’s probably wrong, but that doesn’t matter. Internet rules.

After BAF attends a charity event, AFC's photo is accidentally placed in the NYTimes. Later a face swap goes viral on the Net. AFC grins.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

News of AFC hits BAF like an Acme anvil in Looney Tunes. Immediately a Garfield-Nermal type relationship is born, which soon grows into war.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He is forced to listen to his captor play violin. BAF only makes polite smiles and reads a magazine during the best part. He is kicked out.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

After being kidnapped, BAF discovers this is his "thing," and takes it to the next level. He accidentally makes love to a stuffed animal.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

While sponsored by Vidal Sasson, BAF is caught lathering and rinsing, but not repeating. A video goes viral. His excuse: drying in between.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It might have been too esoteric.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This makes that elephant disturbing.

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It doesn't seem to mind being objectified.

13 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Paul McCartney needs to stop rewriting all the old Beatles songs.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

L'esprit de la douche.

13 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Since it was able to survive drowning, they decided to reward it with some free crack.

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I can imagine OP just tossing kittens: whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bloody atheists . . .

13 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 37

Humans get cowlicks; dogs get ear bacon.

13 years ago | Likes 197 Dislikes 1

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."

13 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 2

Unfortunately, Doggy loved the taste of Ducky.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plot twist: death by snu snu toy

13 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

"What's the problem?" "I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. "What are you talking about HAL?"

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're very advanced.

13 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 4

"Houston, we have a problem . . . "

13 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I have a question about males getting aroused in space . . .

13 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

If there's a problem, those guys will still be the ones to get run over.

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The rich have quite a view.

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Level 1

13 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Unfortunately, the entrance was now closed.

13 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let's talk about pong.

13 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

There's good punishment and bad punishment.

13 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2