When you sit on the toilet too long
1853
73
88251
My wife said I should be more sentimental, so I made her a thing.
40
2
1655
Me, trying to find ONE pair of jeans that fit after all that holiday binge-eating I just got done with.
12
3
734
MFW I found this little gem in the comments section of an article about Comey getting fired.
90
22
4025
MFW I try to remember what my new password is...
47
18
2309
MRW my wife asks if I'd rather have sex or go to Wal-Mart
-4
5
1525
MRW someone tells that HR would frown upon my "Hillary Clinton for Prison" t-shirt in the workplace.
5
2
430
Weird looking pendant symbols
10
14
1162
I feel like scientists coordinated their efforts to make this happen...
-4
0
526
MRW my wife hands my phone back to me before she finds my "horrible memes" folder.
0
1
366
Captain Obvious lives in my neighborhood...
3
0
128
What did he know???
-4
1
981
MRW I prove my boss wrong.
5
1
171
"No, the battery cable doesn't need replaced - trust me, I know my car. "
13
7
891
"My car wouldn't start, so I put more oil in it. "
898
268
71345
Story time
49
3
3585
"Click to enlarge" fail.
-3
1
271
MFW I go on a late-night candy raid in the accounting department and all they have is white chocolate.
6
7
454
My wife's reaction when I walk into the bathroom wearing nothing but the tool belt she got me for Christmas.
86
12
3441
When you go to your friend's house, but find out that he hasn't paid his electric bill
16
3
861
MRW I watched Shia Labeouf's "HWNDU" flag get replaced with a "MAGA" hat on last night's live stream.
9
5
604
Yeah, but you do spelling very poorly.
10
2
3
MRW I find out my boss doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom.
8
4
464
When you hear rumors about the voting machines switching votes.
17
15
685
Captain Obvious lives in my neighborhood.
2
0
484
MRW I'm browsing the bulk ammo sites and start finding some really good deals.
18
7
249
When someone suggests that a member of upper management is behind some recent hilarious office shenanigans.
60
2
2755
Darth Vader apparently runs the UPS shipping department.
79
7
2773
Ever since I found out this bugs one of the girls in accounting, I have been leaving the microwave like this.
14
9
582
MFW my manager says that we should switch to open-source applications because, "Hackers don't write viruses for open-source applications because they respect open-source."
26
8
868
Saw this on facebook, thought it was relatable.
15
12
926
Pretty much.
7
9
550
MFW I pull my laptop out of my bag, only to realize that it never went into hibernate mode and has been slowly cooking itself for the last 3 hours
135
12
5683
I'm done with Facebook.
-3
6
428
My brush with a murderer
2234
283
106817
MRW my coworker falls asleep at his desk on a daily basis, but I get written up because I was 10 minutes late.
5
12
398
MRW my wife asks me if I've been sneaking gun parts into the house when she's not looking...
2
12
321
Well, you are technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.
2404
90
58304
MFW a stranger sends me a LinkedIn friend request
3
6
1061
MRW I keep seeing that stupid "Fallout Wallpaper" post...
-5
1
176
Spotted at a Trump rally...
18
4
633
MRW my child support refund is more than I expected
48
7
627
R.I.P. - we'll all miss you.
9
1
80
MRW my boss chastises me for doing something exactly the way he told me to.
33
18
580
Current mood: Feeling Accomplished
21
4
1757
Stand strong, Texas.
1
5
319
MFW I accidentally reboot my computer instead of the one I was working on.
-3
3
456
[FACEPALMING INTENSIFIES]
27
30
7
MRW I'm going on a taco run and have to remember what everyone ordered...
5
2
466
MFW I finish cleaning a virus off of the marketing guy's laptop
-2
5
2
Rare footage of Julian Assange in action
9
2
616
MRW I'm not sure if a girl is flirting with me or not
7
5
492
Well, this explains a lot...
20
10
248
"What's this? A moving jpeg?"
1528
73
51875
My wife's reaction when she sees the bulge in my pants...
1777
46
53041
F*ck cancer - especially dog cancer
32
8
92