blunte

22788 pts ยท May 3, 2012


I've always wondered what's worse, double the dad jokes or an endless loop of "go ask your mother"

6 days ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 10

That's cheating, he used a second forklify!
/s

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Correction: Cats are the best

Barns are merely where they may choose to be from time to time

3 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My favorite part of this is the bit where the goat already has your poo. Where do you think the toilet water goes?

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was there for it. Really wasn't as cool as it gets made out to be, like yeah it was neat but then it was a huge let down and you got to spend hours in traffic after seeing an 8 second fireworks show

2 months ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Instructions unclear, threw my microwave into a lake. Ai can't get me now!

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

instructions unclear, deleted sys32 to be safe from ai

2 months ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Well they bake it in tubes.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wish.com Gomez adams

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Id be stoked, but man its gotta be depressing coming out to jam for like 2 people

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

10 miles away there is a quiet Monastery full of suddenly very nervous monks who are not quite sure what the matter is but decided it's maybe a good time to bury the relics and go for a nice long walk inland.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have a bunch of aquariums and a pond behind my house. I am a living god to the ducks lol its the highlight of my day to go chuck Floaters to em.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hmm? Me? Oh no im up and out of this dumpster fire. Best of luck with all this. Im gone from the US in a few weeks

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

In his defense, who could have predicted that starting a war in the middle east, with the heavily armed and entrenched militarized nation that holds a strategic chokehold on the narrow straight most of the world's oil passes through would cause energy prices to increase? You'd have to be some kind of psychic to predict that one.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 months ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I hope every towel she uses in the future is warm like its fresh out the dryer. That every bag of fries comes with a bonus onion ring. That every once in a while she finds a fiver on the ground.

3 months ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

Ok

3 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That song is a banger

3 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seriously, her enthusiasm is just so infectious and pure.

3 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Rob is a real one. Only Reich the GOP doesn't like

3 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Farmingwhilebeige. Great channel!

3 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did the unofficial ambassador of Hawaii get arrested for spreading aloha to the asshat throwing rocks at the seal?

4 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Oh buddy...a series of poor decisions were made there

4 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The first time you see your neighbor get black out drunk and make a fool of himself, you laugh. When it appears to have become his default state, hes heavily armed, and has started shooting at other neighbors...well it stops being funny.

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had a pittie that used to get chased around the house by our budgie, Like, fucking terrified of the 20z bird. Don't have a moral to this story, he was a good dog and died doing what he loved most. Biting assholes who judge patties without meeting em

4 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

My eel says hello

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Giving off big "you can't fire me, I QUIT!" vibes here

4 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Always fun to ask Texans who are so proud of their state history why Oklahoma has that strip of territory across the north of the state.



Its so texas could enter the US and still have slaves.

5 months ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

When the stock market collapses its not just a few rich folks who get hurt, its your parents who dont have enough in their 401k to retire, its your teacher whose pension fund just collapsed, its your neighbor who is underwater on his mortgage because he lost his job, it fucks everyone

5 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0