codasquid

7832 pts · June 10, 2015


If she were a sea cucumber she could breathe through her butthole! Now isn’t that fascinating?

3 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is an ok surprise for a bear. I think the best surprise for a bear is a twink

1 week ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

Oven calibration genie: granted
You: (begins sweating feverishly)

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Him: my turn now! (Jumps on her back)

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Joanna! You stop that and leave my eggs alone!!

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why stop there? I wanna flood my neighborhood with infrasound on Halloween!! Time to get spooky!!! 👻

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She’s one cool lady

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This has the same energy as those videos of dads skating in unison and I love it.

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not as hard as my arteries. Cheese so good it makes my left hand tingle

2 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Downstairs Boba has his own helmet, and yeah, you bet your banthas it’s staying on as well.

2 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You need to edit the cameras in your area so that the database reflects what’s still up. If you can’t find the form or aren’t good with SQL, a battery operated reciprocating or rotary saw is probably the quickest method.

2 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Autocorrect has gotten much more obnoxious. At least once a day I have to go back to edit a word that was typed correctly and autocorrect changed to the wrong word. -_-

2 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

lol - at first I thought autocorrect had changed the adjective and I was trying to figure out what kind of polish (ie, rub to make shiny) you were talking about until I realized oh…Polish! (ie, beautiful people from the land of bears and potato vodka) Be sure to polish Polish wife, she will be much shinier.

2 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Andor 13/10

2 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This poor immigrant never came even once

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I was hoping @op was going to pull out an endless series of colored scarves

3 weeks ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

#eiffeltower ?

4 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Epoxy makes terrible lube

4 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Menu from the old Chinese take-out place. No, not the one, the one that we used to go to before and was totally amazing? I miss that place.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Of course it happened on a Monday!

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 too be fair, actresses old enough to *play* my mother would only be like 6yrs older

1 month ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Me when I’m dreaming that it’s raining

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

“To whom this will concern….”

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So is Mitch McConnell ok?

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sounds like David Brooks can go get fucked.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Israel is trying change the search results for “Israel genocide”

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If they didn’t want to get splashed, then they shouldn’t have sat in the splash zone

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haven’t you heard about Henry and his war hammer?

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Flantastic!

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0