dirque

11231 pts ยท July 2, 2014


You are probably wondering how I got into this predicament. Well, it started with ...

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We could call it "Fargoising" someone.

2 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thin-sliced pastrami on sourdough with grilled onions and brown mustard is the best sandwich. Pepperoncini for that extra kick, too.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

So you have a small Oblivian Gate on your dashboard. You start throwing trash through it. Hamburger wrappers, soda cans, used napkins, etc. The entities on the other side start collecting them and try to decipher what they mean.

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is this found footage?

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That sucks. Are you having a funeral? If so, and if you have the $$, hire some big guys to come in dark glasses and suits, and stand around silently.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A conservative walks into a bar and checks his grindr account.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You accurate.

1 month ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

isn't that a male peacock? Shouldn't that be HE is drop-dead gorgeous ...?

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The lesson I learned from starting a biz is that however much money you think you need, you need twice that to just have it fail over a couple of years. Start with four times, and you have a chance.

Also, keep on top of marketing and sales. Look for every opportunity to market your business. Make sure you know who will actually be paying. If you are selling to a business, then talk to the boss. It doesn't matter if the rank'n'file love your product, if the boss won't buy it.

1 month ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

True story: blood clots in my bladder kept blocking the catheter. The solution was to run basically a pipe cleaner up the catheter, then, once it was flowing and the bladder was empty, to flush my bladder with water. Yep, flowing the wrong way. It was not painful, just weird. Really weird.

1 month ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I encourage anyone over the age of 25, who is so inclined, to go hiking alone in the wilderness and pet large wild animals. The animals need the exercise. Large male water buffalo absolutely love having humans come up and hug them.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Because all the other problems are real, and they don't have the mental capability to solve real problems. They are, mostly, rich douche-nozzles who've never had real jobs. The hardest decisions they've had to make are whether to have two or three martinis at lunch.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Suicide seats!

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or, maybe, all of you have special needs.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you see a republican couple, try to distract them so you can replace her nicotine patch with a birth control one.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As usual, she is entirely correct. This is a deep problem that won't be solved with a couple of elections.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

A Midwestern cow on a motorcycle helps a man having a bad day.

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Have you tried pushing the reset button?

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#4 - Suicide seats!

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

His big mistake was not putting his weight on his forward leg, then pivoting and running in the opposite direction.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The Shadow!

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I am trying to imagine building anything for Honey Badgers to play with that isn't made of titanium.

2 months ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 0

Godzilla!

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Those are Mumbai-qualified safety sandals.

2 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The Uvalde school is off a bit, I think: The republicans are the police and the shooter. The police don't do anything because the shooter might be one of them, and they don't want to get hurt. The Democrats are the parents waiting for the police to do something. The progressives are trying to get into the school to stop the shooting, but are being held back by the police.

2 months ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Later on, when you are asleep, el gato will decide its butthole is cold and warm it upon your mouth.

2 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It was these little side moments that shifted this movie from a superhero movie to a Super movie. All the characters were done exceptionally well. The casting is perfect.

2 months ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 1

If it has been proven through double blind clinical trials, then by all means use it.

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ask if they are OK, then tickle their feet.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0