Not in front of the kids, Carrot! Not in front of the kids!
24
12
1028
Ever see something so beautiful?
45
11
1188
I work in IT infrastructure and network security and this is 100% accurate.
21
23
1040
Took me too long.
2891
737
188330
They’ll spend billions.
38
24
976
Maybe some Betty Crocker might help her.
68
3
2122
I love file transfer protocols.
7
3
456
Florida? Not even once.
1045
136
29282
Guys, is this sign a little too “on the snout”?
955
38
39477
And to Gonzo who did NOT invent that emphasis.
21
1
417
Let’s see if he lasts 42 months.
8
8
492
What’s going on today? Not complaining, just curious.
12
8
1251
Running it straight into the ground.
1
3
652
Me and the squad each time we see an acorn.
46
0
481
From the accountants who brought you Happy Gilmore 2 and Coming 2 America…
27
4
695
Legologically correct thing.
-6
0
367
Order from the read menu! We’re not me!
1720
402
138922
Spending my free time volunteering as a security guard for a Tesla dealership to own the libs.
297
107
7489
Today is the first day of two weeks of holiday…
8
4
593
Magnifico-o-o-o-o-oh
35
11
1416
Ew, even got it on the windows.
52
4
1935
Taylor Swift fans in 2020
41
0
342
It’s-a-me, an innocent Italian plumber.
81
22
1285
Weeeee…eeeeeW
403
41
33728
Alan Partridge!
30
6
1219
Kirk Douglas and co-stars rehearsing for Stanley Kubrick’s Spartacus.
51
9
2696
Maybe someone should have shown this lady a dog so that she could smile.
41
9
1942
This year we are releasing the all new iCure.
2198
220
56964
Join a union today!
12
5
677
Life goals.
480
128
29598
We are legion. We are also all starting to experience lower back pain.
1562
309
49850
Happy! 80th Birthday. to; Christopher…Walken.
44
11
1695
Coccyx Schmoccyx.
2131
75
148318
I’ve never updated an app faster.
10
2
447
“A cinematic masterpiece. Five stars.” - Variety
13
7
850
FYBD Blackout
44
0
147
Duck, duck, tiger
31
4
1027
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Updog?
8
6
743
Gary a real one for that.
2014
200
94509
Been staying with family all week
5
2
373
I don’t cheer when it reaches a corner, only when it reaches my mouth.
942
30
36834
Hans, bubby, I asked for *coke*
7
2
471
?Mother! Tell your children not to hear my words.
16
10
790
You’re not gonna believe this…
2080
193
130720
Playing a game set to “easy”.
5
4
536
Hey human, watch this thing for me me. I need to run out for some cigarettes.
72
3
2011
Indistinguishable from porn
647
40
38385
Do you think the hotel adds charges for flipping the socket using a butter knife as a screwdriver?
79
19
5926
TODAY IS GONNA BE THE DAY THAT THEY’RE GONNA THROW IT BACK TO YOU-
-5
1
447
That’s an awful thing to say about someone.
56
7
2181
Guitar respray - Squier Jazzmaster
6
3
674
“Florence and Norm_Levin_Macbook” just wasn’t as catchy for a band name.
1002
85
93078
Better run, run, run, run, run, run, run away.
726
64
91500
“Feedback System | Recursion” by Joe Pease
4
0
381
I’m normally full after 1 or 2
60
18
165
Warning: slow drivers
10
21
843
Non-live action role play
1555
92
98019
Cyclists only do this when frightened
84
31
3373