spottedick

116240 pts · November 30, 2015


Well, hi there traveler! You must have gotten really bored of user-sub to start looking at people's bios. Well lets make sure you're not disappointed. So the name, Spottedick, if you don't know already, spotted dick is a dessert we have in England. I don't think anyone has ever eaten one, but it does have a funny name. Originating back from roman times when the legate Biggus Dickus (this is a computer enhanced painting of him - http://i.imgur.com/EgEvhoJ.jpg) had invaded the south-east coast he demanded some nourishment. He called upon his army to find the best food in the area, his men searched high and low for the tastiest mouth-teaser in the land, alas nothing was good enough for Biggus Dickus. But then out of the mist came forth a baker, a master baker, who knelt before the legate and presented him with the elongated roll. The legate tasted the baker's offering - it was hard yet creamy inside, soft yet firm, it had everything the legate was looking for... apart from raisins. Biggus Dickus loved those shriveled grapes, he subsequently had the baker executed and the dessert remade (this time with raisins). He named this dish after himself and the spotted like pattern the raisins made. And that's where the name spotted dick comes from. It is said he later presented his dick to his visiting wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, who accepted it after trying his new dessert. I merely chose the name because I'm British and it sounded funny, and it's the first thing that came to mind - which maybe I should be worried about. Well, there it is http://i.imgur.com/FGfbTs5.jpg, hope your break from usersub was worth it. Now to wait for whichever one of you suckers to come along and actually read this. http://i.imgur.com/PAtzqC4.gif Lots of love, Spottedick P.S. If someone gets my story to the very top of FP I will order them a none pizza with left beef straight to their door. Good Luck!

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